episode_0164

Sylvia lowered her head in a daze.

Her helpless gaze focused on the man lying on the bed.

The man was seriously injured.

The bandages wrapped around his hard torso with countless scars were proof of this.

The bleeding had stopped and the bandages were clean, but he showed no signs of waking up.

Take a breath.

It’s not dead.

But it doesn’t happen.

So how is it different from being dead?

Are you dead? Did you buy it?

But who is this guy?

“You bastard-!”

Kylie shouted from the side.

She grabbed Scarlett by the collar and fired.

“What are you? Why did Ian let things end up like that?”

Ian?

Is this Ian?

The man lying here is Ian?

… Oh, it’s true.

A scar carved diagonally near the eyebrow.

A deep and bold impression.

It was the man she loved.

“What is yours… ! Why is Ian like that because of you? !”

“Stop it!”

Lucia shouted.

“What are you doing next to the patient?”

“Qu… .”

“Scarlett didn’t intentionally hurt you. Just do it in moderation. If you’re going to make a fuss, go out and do it.”

“… sorry. I did something unsightly.”

Why is Ian here?

Why did I get hurt?

Why won’t it happen?

Like Kylie said, is it because of that woman?

I feel dizzy.

Sylvia raised her trembling hand and touched Ian’s fingertips.

warm.

It meant being alive.

“Ian… .”

The pronunciation that rolls the tongue is unfamiliar.

why.

Why are you lying down?

“Why… .”

This is not it.

No matter what happened, this situation should never have happened.

“No, I can’t… . No, you can’t do this… .”

Why are you dying?

I should be the one who dies.

I am the one who deserves to die.

Are you sick because I’m not dead?

So if that’s the case, I’ll die.

So, so… .

“Please wake up… .”

Sylvia eventually couldn’t bear it anymore, sat down on the floor and burst into tears.

Her crying didn’t make the situation any more serious.

Vivian and Helena have already sobbed once, and Mercy fainted as soon as they arrived, but just woke up and is crying, burying her face in Ian’s shoulder.

Lucia didn’t cry, but she went to a corner and cried alone.

Kylie looked down at Ian.

The emotion contained between the nervously furrowed eyebrows was not anger.

It was just confusing and frustrating.

I have never felt helpless in my life.

Occasionally since Ian left.

Even after my arm was cut off, although I was miserable, I did not want to collapse in my own helplessness.

But now.

She was devastated by the reality that she could do nothing.

What is the use of being a corps commander and all?

‘no… . Has there ever been one… .’

I had something similar before.

At that time, Ian was seriously injured and was on the brink of death, and the first warrior party was unable to do anything because they were fighting on the front lines.

It was the dark army that attacked Ian at that time.

At the time, he was not a corps commander, but one of the corps’ elites.

‘I’m in vain… .’

It’s been a while, it’s unfamiliar, yet familiar.

This is the feeling.

Because of this frustration, I decided to kick Ian out.

he is weak

If you don’t pay attention, you’ll be so anxious that you’ll go crazy.

I couldn’t leave Ian like that by my side.

Seeing someone who was stronger than you become weak.

The fact that he is wandering through death.

I couldn’t watch it all, leaving it all aside.

It was a useless turning away.

The achievements, motivation, and strength he guided me remained in my heart.

Even if you kicked him out, it didn’t go away.

Really, it was pointless.

See, Ian didn’t collapse again like that time.

‘why… Why on earth is this happening… .’

At the time, Sylvia was in a cold war with Ian, so she didn’t show it, but she went around the demon world and slaughtered demons.

Because of her, humanity had to redraw the map of the Demon World.

Kylie had a part to play in the change in the landscape of the demon world at that time.

The Golden Rule of Strength.

The duty of the strong.

The strong have a duty to take responsibility for the weak.

Yes.

He himself broke the golden rule.

Ian, who was stronger than himself, became weak.

So, as a strong person, he had to take responsibility and protect it.

Kylie couldn’t do that.

His foolish past ignored his duty and kicked him out.

I should have been there for you.

I had to protect it.

He had a duty to do so.

Just as Ian took responsibility for and raised him… . I should have done the same.

“Ian… .”

Kylie cautiously called out the name.

I couldn’t get close because of Kati, Mercy, Vivian, Helena, and Lucia who were sticking around.

Just from a distance.

In a far away place that cannot be reached.

Suppressing the regret that was about to burst out later, I called his name again.

“Ian… .”

After that, I couldn’t come out.

What should I say?

sorry.

I was wrong.

You won’t even hear it.

If you listen to that, nothing will happen.

It is miserable helplessness.

Kylie ended up saying nothing.

And, Mercy, who was almost killed by the scouting elite at that time, but was hit instead by Ian, was alive and buried his face in Ian’s shoulder.

“Why… . Why are you, why are you always like this… .”

The unfinished words fell in pieces along with tears.

The remaining doubts grow alone.

‘why.’

It wasn’t fair.

But there was no one to blame.

It must have been his choice.

It was like that when he protected himself.

It’s an irrational choice.

If you’re going to get hurt, you’re better than Ian.

The same applies even if you die.

Still, Ian always protected himself and treated him with respect.

‘why… . Why are you trying to carry everything on your own? .’

why.

I can’t find the answer.

Just, alone, I reflect on the unanswered question.

There is nothing we can do for Ian.

‘why… .’

Why am I so helpless?

I thought I could finally be of some help, but when will I be able to truly be of help to Ian?

“… … .”

Beatrice looked down at Ian, biting her fingernails.

In fact, her physical condition was not normal.

My prosthetic arm fell off once while dealing with a griffon.

Fortunately, it didn’t explode or break, so I quickly put it back together and fought again.

However, the battle was so intense that Beatrice was broken and injured here and there.

I hadn’t had much treatment yet, but I didn’t feel like it.

“Ian… . Ha, I’m going crazy… . Wake up… . I’ll listen to you right now, so just come to your senses… .”

Beatrice, who was muttering to herself, eventually closed her mouth.

I thought I no longer had to worry about late regrets.

Without Ian forgiving himself.

Without being forgiven.

Since it was okay to remain like that, I just hoped that Ian would live well.

That was it.

Legion commanders, reapers, and demon lords.

I was going to kill them all, so I just hoped Ian would have a good future.

That’s enough.

However, now, let alone regret and apology, even his life has become unclear.

“What is this… .”

Beatrice slipped and collapsed against the wall helplessly.

“What on earth is this? .”

It was unfair.

what?

The reality that you can’t do anything?

I don’t know.

I just felt unfair, frustrated, and angry.

I wanted to blame someone, but there was no one to blame.

Yes, if you have to, it would be yourself.

The incident that kicked Ian out spread like dominoes to this incident.

If only Ian hadn’t been kicked out.

If only I stayed by his side and grew stronger as planned.

Ian wouldn’t have had to overdo it, and then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

Is that really true?

I don’t know.

Maybe you just need someone to blame.

So, Beatrice blamed herself.

That made me feel more at ease.

“Ian… .”

Beatrice sat against the wall and buried her head in her knees.

There is a lot I want to say.

Although not as much as Sylvia, she sometimes thought of Ian and said many things.

I knew it wouldn’t reach me, and I didn’t have any desire to share it.

Still, it’s okay to keep your apologetic feelings to yourself.

But, maybe I shouldn’t have embraced it alone?

Maybe I should have stayed by his side, even if it meant not caring about him.

As the meaning of regret is, regret is always late.

Arya, whose complexion had turned blue, was healing with Helena, but sat down after realizing that she could no longer heal through miracles.

The cloudy eyes had no focus.

She was thinking about values.

Values, interests, some reference point in the life she has been pursuing.

The foundation is shaking.

It’s a strange experience.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone struggling with death.

I solved dungeons with Ian, fought on the front lines, and saw countless people dying.

Some of them actually died.

However, my heart never wavered.

‘… ‘It’s not like it doesn’t exist at all.’

Around the time Ian left, I was reacting pathologically to my own loss of value.

She was appalled at the thought of anyone else getting hurt.

So in the dungeon before the trial, didn’t he save someone even though he knew he would get hurt?

But even then it wasn’t like it is now.

It’s a strange feeling.

To have your value system completely shaken because of one person.

What kind of feeling is this?

Guilt and debt.

Far from love, it’s just one-sided regret.

All of it.

The miracles she deals with are close to true miracles in their meaning.

This is true in the sense that it heals any serious injury and even detoxifies poison.

However, it is not enough to cure someone suffering from death.

The incarnation of the Virgin Mary.

Reproduction of a miracle.

These are all ridiculous compliments.

What kind of miracle is it that they couldn’t save even one Ian?

It has no value.

Unless you can help Ian, you have no value.

I feel that way even more because I know that it was a value that would not exist without Ian.

“Iaan… . Ugh, uh… .”

Vivian whined and grabbed Ian’s hand.

I rub my face against that hand and touch it here and there, but there is no sign of it reacting at all.

The body temperature is warm, but there is no vitality.

The gap was terrible.

It feels like they will stand up at any moment and say it was a joke.

With that usual sly smile on his face.

Then, you will definitely cry and complain that it was bad and that you hate it, but you will be so happy.

So, I was hoping that this situation was just a very practical joke.

Reality always goes against the wishes.

Therefore, wishing for something meant that it would not come true soon.

“Ian… .”

Helena muttered blankly.

He was his own god, but at the same time he was a living human being.

They were just weak creatures that could get hurt and even die.

The reality of bringing a fallen god in front of believers was harsh.

Is this the price paid for deifying mortals?

“Ha… .”

Lucia covered her mouth and sighed deeply.

No matter how many times I sighed, I gave up on leaking.

It was frustrating and a little funny.

Within a few weeks of the start of the war, all seven of the enemy’s main corps commanders were dead.

The simultaneous subjugation of humanity’s army commanders was a success.

Even the manticore that came looking for Ian was cut to pieces by Kati and killed.

As a result, humanity has advanced far toward victory.

There was almost a festive atmosphere at the front.

Except for those close to Ian.

The gap between the contradictory realities was difficult for Lucia to bear.

“… … .”

Kati looked blankly at Ian beneath her.

Her head was bent, which was uncomfortable, but she had been in that position ever since she came here.

She sat by Ian’s bedside and occasionally stroked his face as a habit.

It’s meaningless.

Even if he does that, he won’t wake up or get better.

It just soothes your own anxiety.

If we touch each other like this.

If you feel that body temperature.

At least I know I’m alive.

It felt like the body temperature would be maintained only if she stroked it like that, so she continued to do so.

It is a quiet room, but noisy with the sounds of sniffling and crying.

But for Kati, this room was very quiet.

It was natural.

In this room she sees now, there is no one other than Ian and herself.

Just the two of us were floating in a space as pitch black as the night sky.

As if retracing the movement of stars, we go back in time.

The scenery is sprayed like paint in a dark space.

Where did it go wrong?

When I saw the traces in the no-man’s land, should I have told Ian right away?

Or maybe I shouldn’t have gone to that no-man’s land.

Yes, that’s right.

I had to be next to Ian.

Or, he had to take Ian with him so that he could be by his side.

While stronger than Ian, I have lived my life leaning on him.

It shouldn’t have been like that.

Since I am stronger, it is right for me to live with Ian.

That’s the correct order.

If he was by his side, he would at least be able to die for him.

That’s all.

The conclusion was decided, but the late conclusion had nothing to do with reality.

What should I do when I realize it only after he falls?

The answer must be found when the problem is in front of you.

Even if I knew the answer after the problem had passed, it meant nothing.

“Master… .”

It’s quiet.

The unanswered call was lonely.

Scarlett, who believed that she was the culprit of all this, was going through all the information organized in her head.

Is there any information related to healing or potions that might be helpful?

There are all sorts of people among magicians, so if you ask them, you might get some answers.

Grace, who came to see Ian, seemed to cry as soon as she checked, and then left, saying she would bring out the elixir right away.

But Scarlett was skeptical.

Although it is an elixir that is a panacea, it does not have the function of reviving the dead.

And now Ian’s injuries were close to death.

‘Is there a way to improve the effect of the elixir? .’

He barely escaped immediate death as his heart was not injured, but his entire body’s organs were crushed.

There was a lot of blood shed.

Even before being attacked by the manticore, his body was already exhausted.

“Excuse me.”

It was Iris who broke the silence.

She came rushing in with the imperial doctor and the high-ranking priest of the Seonghwa Church and was trying to figure out what she could do.

Then, I found Ian’s subspace pocket and searched through his belongings, inside.

“Elixir found.”

Last time, I found some leftover elixir from feeding it to Lucia.

“Hurry up and feed me!”

Kylie urged urgently.

“How can I just pour it into my mouth? Huh?”

He was almost ready to steal the elixir, so Iris hurriedly stopped him.

“Calm down! Although elixirs are effective, they are also toxic. They say we have to share the food.”

“Well, I see… .”

“I would feed it right away, but… .”

Iris swallowed her words.

Because she knows that there is a limit to the injuries that elixir can heal.

“… … .”

In the silence, the high priest poured an appropriate amount of elixir into Ian’s mouth while he was sleeping.

“And then, I discovered this.”

Iris took out a piece of paper and showed it to the people.

“I think it was written by Ian, and I think it’s something I’m conveying to you. Would you like to see it?”

The content of the memo was simple.

It was written down the types and locations of the hidden pieces to be given to Vivian, Helena, and Lucia.

Mercy, who was looking at this, let out a breath that was hard to tell whether it was a sigh or a laugh.

“Ha… . You really… . Could it be that you foresaw this situation? .”

“What does it mean… ?”

“In the past, Ian suddenly wrote down something as if it came to him out of nowhere. When I asked what he was doing, he just said that he was preparing for the unexpected. I didn’t know what it meant at the time… .”

“… … .”

The fruits couldn’t stop the tears from welling up again.

Even though he expected that he might get seriously hurt, he took care of them until the end.

“… Vivian.”

Sylvia blurted out.

The calm voice was firm.

The corners of his eyes were swollen, but his expression became determined.

“Let’s go.”

“Yes? Uh, where… .”

“I’m going to get what Ian told me.”

Sylvia glanced at Ian and said.

“Ian will wake up. So, you have to grow up before that. Not much time left.”

“… … .”

“Wake up quickly. Ian won’t wake up if he cries here.”

Sylvia said harshly.

The words that made me face the terrible reality were directed at myself.

I’m not used to it, but I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

I can’t stay here like this.

It’s a waste of time.

Although humanity has secured its victory, victory is not confirmed.

Vivian looked at Ian sleeping peacefully, then stood up.

What Sylvia said was true.

Even if Ian collapsed, he couldn’t keep sitting down.

“… Let’s go.”

Sylvia stared at Ian before leaving.

To be exact, it was the ice man next to him.

It sat next to Kati and looked down at Ian.

He didn’t care whether he went or not or who else was here.

Even when Sylvia left, the ice man didn’t see her.

“Kylie, Aria.”

“Huh? Huh?”

“Yes?”

“You too, help those people. Because I’ll take Vivian.”

“… … .”

With those words, Vivian and Sylvia left.

“… Tsk. Hey.”

Kylie scratched the back of her head as if she was awkward and embarrassed before opening her mouth.

“What.”

Lucia glared at Kylie.

“Follow me. First, let’s check for ourselves how much we have grown.”

“… Indeed.”

Lucia rubbed her face with her arm and sniffled.

“You may not be able to control your strength, so don’t blame yourself if you get hurt.”

“I hope you don’t get hurt.”

Even Lucia and Kylie went out.

Aria hesitated and looked at Helena.

Helena held Ian’s hand tightly, giving off an atmosphere that was difficult to even dare to talk about.

“… Aria.”

“Yes?”

Aria flinched and was surprised.

In fact, today was the first time the two had a conversation.

“What kind of person is Ian to you?”

“What kind of being is this? .”

This is a difficult question to answer.

At one time, I wanted to own it, but when I no longer needed it, I wanted to destroy it, but now that I realized my gratitude too late, I feel sorry.

How can I summarize it?

“… It is my original sin.”

“Original sin… .”

Helena smiled bitterly.

Although Aria’s feelings were different from those of her own, she sympathized with the term original sin.

It hurts so much because I deified Ian, and it hurts so much because I blasphemously lusted after and loved the person I deified.

All of my current phenomena originate from Ian.

So, for Helena herself, the existence of Ian was tantamount to original sin.

“Ian. I’ll be back soon.”

Helena kissed the back of Ian’s hand deeply and stood up.

“… Come back.”

Mercy belatedly greeted me in a weak voice.

“Yes. I’ll be back.”

Helena took the lead, followed by Aria.

Beatrice spoke behind him.

“That… . Call me if you need help. Any time. I will remain here.”

Aria nodded.

The two nuns also left the bedroom.

Even then, Kati looked down at Ian without moving a muscle.

*

A plain a little distance away from the Magic Tower.

Lucia and Kylie glared at each other.

“If you haven’t regained your strength because you’re still crying, I’ll wait a little while.”

When Kylie spoke leisurely, Lucia burst into laughter.

“What do you say? I pay attention to the red tip of my nose.”

“What… !”

Kylie hastily covered her nose.

“Pretending to be relaxed. It’s so absurd.”

“… … .”

Kylie gritted her teeth and glared at Lucia.

“Do your best. I won’t let you either.”

“Any amount.”

The two knights raised their swords.