episode_0164

“Ah… I really don’t want to go.”

Whether it’s school, work, or whatever.

There must be a moment when everyone wishes for a heavy snowfall to paralyze the world when there’s something they really don’t want to do.

Honestly, unless you’re some seafood burger joint part-timer who loves Mondays, everyone thinks that way at least once, right?

If you say you don’t, that’s a mental illness.

There’s no way someone who thinks everything in the world is good can be normal.

And I’m a normal person without such a mental illness, and this was the moment I wanted to go out the least.

I fervently hoped that the snow, which had stopped yesterday, would start falling heavily again.

Well…

I tend to think this way whenever there’s an event, but I hated it even more if it was related to the church.

First of all, there are a lot of restrictions on behavior.

First of all, there are a lot of regulations regarding attire.

You have to dress formally, like for a formal dress code, but not too flashy.

Now, men also have to wear stockings, which has become optional, and a long coat that comes down to the knees, and most of the decorations on the clothes have to be removed.

And I have to put the tie I painstakingly made away in the closet and wear a cravat.

And is it just the attire that’s the problem?

At banquets, you can often stick to the wall if you’re not the main character, or excuse yourself and slip out.

But the church happens to be celebrating God or saints who will be remembered in history.

You never know what you’ll hear if you skip out.

And yet, the events are terribly boring.

Pray, listen to sermons, listen to passages from the Bible, sing hymns, pray and listen to sermons and sing hymns…

It ends after repeating this for several hours.

If Heiss was here like last year, I would have fidgeted with my fingers and played around.

But this year, I have to go alone.

“Haaaa…”

I sighed heavily as I put on the cravat around my neck.

I really miss my previous life where there was freedom of religion.

“Young Master, you need to get ready quickly, or you’ll be late?”

“I’m almost done.”

As I was fumbling with the knot, Emilie, who was wearing a veil on her head instead of her usual apron, urged me on.

“Haa… Alright, alright… I have to go…”

I carefully adjusted the knot and shape of the cravat more meticulously than usual and stepped away from the mirror, then slouched my shoulders and answered in a lifeless voice as I came out of the dressing room.

About 12 hours now.

Even excluding travel time, I have to sit in the church for about 11 hours.

I’m so happy…

_

“Young Master, please check your attire one more time before you go in.”

“Okay.”

The place we arrived at by carriage was the cathedral located about 500m west of the Imperial Palace.

To be precise, it was a ‘quasi-cathedral,’ which is a bit higher in rank than a regular cathedral, and it holds important meaning for devout believers and churchgoers, but for a layperson like me who isn’t very devout, it didn’t have much meaning other than the building being old and the name being a bit more fancy.

I think the name was the Immaculate Saint Lucy Cathedral?

Most people call it the Imperial Capital Cathedral, so I’m not sure if that’s the exact name.

Considering that even in my previous life, Myeongdong Cathedral was called Myeongdong Cathedral even though it had a separate name, I guess people live similarly everywhere.

Well… even if I say it like this, it’s not a place anyone can enter because it’s a noble cathedral.

You have to be at least a high-ranking nobleman to be qualified to attend the service here.

It’s only natural that things get complicated in many ways if you mix nobles and commoners for worship.

Especially if they are people like the Emperor or Dukes and Marquises.

That’s why the most magnificent, historically deep, and high-ranking cathedral is used exclusively for the Emperor and high-ranking nobles.

So, one of the most important features is that they make us wear simple clothes, but the interior is very ornate.

The exterior walls are made of marble, there are statues of saints inside, there are very elaborate frescoes on the ceiling, all the glass inside the church is stained glass, and the candlesticks are gold.

I don’t know what this appalling extravagance is, but anyway, everyone glosses over it because it’s said to be sincerity for honoring God and the saints.

And the parishioners are very frugal.

The church is very ornate, but the priests and monks don’t wear even simple silver decorations, and only the Pope weaves his clothes out of silk.

The rest are naturally cotton or linen.

They even make the rosaries and crosses they wear out of wood instead of metal.

Of course,

While decorating the church with gold and silver.

And this is very, very important in another sense.

The church pays taxes.

Quite a lot, too.

That’s why everyone stays quiet without saying anything even if the church splurges on the cathedral.

They pay their taxes well, and they’re very frugal with themselves, so it’s okay for them to gild what they worship.

“Let’s go in.”

“Yes.”

After brushing off the trivial thoughts that came to my mind while tidying up my clothes, I checked that there was nothing wrong with my attire and stepped into the cathedral with Emilie.

Other nobles are struggling to decide which servant to enter the cathedral with, but I only have Emilie, so I’m so glad I can just slip in without worrying about it.

I lightly wet my hands with the holy water placed at the entrance, bowed, and stepped inside, and the interior, which was more ornate than the exterior, came into view.

“I still can’t get used to it every time I see it…”

“Me too…”

Both Emilie and I narrowed our eyes and frowned at the decorations that sparkled everywhere.

At least Emilie had a veil, so it was a little less, but I didn’t have one, so my eyes hurt too much.

Haa… Can’t they let men wear veils and attend services too?

Men also need to be pure, humble, and devout.

“Ugh… Let’s sit somewhere in the back.”

“Yes.”

Unable to bear the glare, I made a shade with my hand and looked around, then sat down in a corner of the back row among the empty seats.

If possible, I wanted to sit in the very back row farthest from the priests, but that wasn’t good because it would catch the attention of people entering and exiting the cathedral.

“Ouch, my eyes…”

I sat down in the chair and lowered my head slightly, and my eyes felt a little more comfortable.

If I kept my head down for too long, people around me would mistake me for sleeping in the cathedral, so I would have to raise my head again, but I was so grateful that I could rest my eyes even for a moment.

“Hoo~”

I pressed my eyes appropriately to relieve them and then raised my head before people around me started giving me strange looks.

The moment I raised my head, I felt tired again, but I focused on people instead of decorations and diligently moved my eyes to find a place with as little glare as possible.

Nobles filling the seats one by one.

Priests and monks busily moving around to prepare for the hellish service that would last about 10 hours.

And the choir lined up on both sides of the altar.

“Hmm…”

I realized as I moved my gaze around and looked at people.

I don’t know why, but the church people were all looking at me.

Not looking directly, but looking away for about 3 seconds and then looking at me for about 3 seconds.

I think it’s possible for them to look at me because I’ve been doing a lot of things lately, but the way they were looking at me was unusual and bothered me.

To be specific, it felt like an inquisitor facing a heretic.

The expression of the cardinal I had met before felt as gentle as pure water compared to how fierce their gaze was.

No, have I become paranoid because I’ve been suffering so much lately?

These days, everyone in the world feels strange to me…

“Emilie.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t you think the priests’ gazes are a bit strange?”

“The priests? Hmm-”

At my question, Emilie looked at the priests with a bewildered expression.

And soon, Emilie stiffened her expression and looked at me with serious eyes.

“… Young Master, did you do something again?”

“I’ve been behaving myself since the squabble with the Devonshire side?”

“Then why are they looking at Young Master like they want to tear him apart?”

“I don’t know…”

So, it’s not just me who felt that way.

Then there must be a problem…

What’s the problem?

“Hmm…”

I moved my eyes busily and looked at Emilie and myself.

There’s definitely nothing wrong with the attire.

I properly wet my hands with holy water when I came in.

I properly bowed when I came in.

I didn’t cause any trouble.

I sat down as soon as I came in…

“Ah…! Ugh…!”

Realizing my mistake, I barely suppressed the scream that was about to burst out and jumped up from my seat.

“What’s wrong?”

Emilie looked at me strangely, as I suddenly trembled and turned pale, but that trivial thing wasn’t important now.

“We didn’t make confession…”

“Ah…!”

Emilie also suppressed the scream that was about to burst out and jumped up from her seat.

You might think confession isn’t a big deal, but there are only two kinds of people in this world who come to church and don’t make confession.

One is a crazy person who asserts that they are a perfect person who never does anything wrong.

The other is a crazy person who has no intention of repenting for the sins they have committed.

In any case, the fact that they are crazy people with different standards did not change.

So, I quickly took out the watch from my pocket and checked the time.

20 minutes before the service begins.

If I stand in line in front of the confessional now, I have enough time to receive confession.

I wondered why the seats were so empty, so everyone was late because they were going to receive confession.

“Let’s go quickly.”

“Yes…”

I lightly grabbed Emilie’s wrist and hurriedly headed to the confessional.

“Hoo…”

A sigh that naturally comes out at the thought of overcoming a great crisis.

I’m glad I noticed even a little late.

I almost became a heretic after coming to worship…