episode_0163

“Hey, Elder-nim. Please get up now… Are you going to keep burying your head in the desk like that? Aria even went out of her way to comfort you…”

“…”

Instead of being cheered up by Aria’s comfort, Arvina remained with her head buried in the desk, showing no intention of getting up. Seeing this, Aria and I couldn’t help but sigh in frustration. Even so, we could understand Arvina’s behavior. This was because we knew that the emotions she had suppressed for a long time had suddenly exploded, leaving her in a disoriented state. But still…

“Phew… It’s rare for Aria to say something like that for someone other than me… No, it’s never happened at all, has it?”

“That’s right, Arvina. I felt a strange sense of kinship because your life somehow resembles mine, and I tried to calm you down, but now you’re disheartened again…? Wait, surely not…”

Just as Aria was about to complain, wondering what Arvina expected by getting disheartened again after Aria had helped her because their lives were similar, Aria, realizing something, slowly grabbed Arvina’s shoulder and immediately pulled her upper body upright. When Arvina appeared startled, holding a Paranedia poisonous herb in her hand, we looked at her with serious faces, and Aria, utterly flabbergasted, yelled at Arvina.

“No, don’t eat that!!! I’m here worrying about someone other than Zeke-nim, so you shouldn’t be doing that, should you?!”

“Gulp!! Ah… I get it!! I won’t eat it!!”

‘…’

The Paranedia poisonous herb. It’s a poisonous herb that causes symptoms of mental confusion and addiction, and it’s best not to consume it since no antidote has been found yet. We knew this well, and though we also knew Arvina was showing symptoms of addiction due to consuming this herb for a long time, we strangely started to get angry. Aria, especially, seemed furious, shaking Arvina violently while covering her mouth. She’ll die if you keep doing that, Elder-nim… She’s already having a hard time…

“Hey, Aria… Wouldn’t it be better to cook something for Elder-nim first? Elder-nim has been surviving solely on her abilities until now…”

“What…? Ugh… I really don’t want to do even that…”

“If you do it, I won’t complain even if you hug me tightly all night…”

“I’ll do it right away.”

When Aria hesitated to cook for someone else, I asked her again, on the condition that I wouldn’t complain if she hugged me all night, and Aria readily accepted, then immediately ran to the kitchen. Seriously, Aria… what if hugging me all night is more important than someone’s life…? Sigh… Just as I sighed heavily at Aria’s reaction, Aria discovered something, gasped in surprise, and showed it to me, saying:

“Z-Zeke-nim?! I looked at Arvina’s kitchen, and all the cooking utensils are in this state…”

“…This is driving me crazy.”

When Aria showed me the completely broken cooking utensils and pots, I was dumbfounded and my face turned serious. Ah, right… She was already contemplating giving up on life, and she was surviving solely on her abilities, so it’s no wonder the cooking utensils wouldn’t be intact… Just as we were dumbfounded by the fact that all the cooking utensils we needed were broken, Arvina suddenly grinned and began rummaging through a drawer.

“Heh… Hehehe… As expected, this happened because I’m not in my right mind… Hehehehe… Then to return to my right mind…!!”

“….!! Ughhh!!! Elder-nim is taking out another poisonous herb!!”

“No, just how many of those poisonous herbs do you have!!! Throw them away right now, Arvina!!!”

When Arvina took out another Paranedia poisonous herb from the drawer, Aria and I were startled and quickly stopped Arvina from trying to eat the herb. Having the Paranedia poisonous herb taken away from her by us yet again, Arvina, enduring Aria’s scolding, knelt down with both hands raised, forced to stand in punishment. Then, when I threw the herb out the window, Arvina’s eyes welled up with tears as she pleaded with Aria.

“Please, I beg you… Without that poisonous herb, I won’t have the confidence to live… No, I won’t have the confidence to be in my right mind… If I don’t have that herb, I’ll…”

“Haaah… If you die, it’ll cause trouble for Zeke-nim too!! If rumors spread that Zeke-nim stood by and watched you die, will you take responsibility for that?!”

“Ugh… Uwaaaah… Not another responsibility… Nooo… Uwaaaah…”

At Aria’s scolding, Arvina was greatly distressed by the thought that if it became wrongly known outside that I had stood by and watched her die, she would have to take responsibility, and she began to tremble, covering her head with both hands like a child. Haaah… I understand she’s pathetic, but we can’t just let her keep taking the poisonous herb… Anyway, Aria… Her heart seems to have been changing since last time, always talking to me, and it seems to be true… She’s truly worried about Arvina. The moment I looked at Aria proudly, she turned her head to me, her anger dissipating, and smiled, saying:

“Don’t worry, Zeke-nim. I haven’t forgotten the promise I just made with Zeke-nim. Hehehe… If I can hug Zeke-nim all night, what can’t I do…?”

“I’ve known you for months, did you really think I’d believe you forgot that? The problem now isn’t that, it’s how we’re going to cook.”

When Aria told me not to worry, saying she hadn’t forgotten the promise she made with me, I told her that wasn’t the point, mentioning that all the cooking utensils in this house were broken, and asked her how we were supposed to cook. Aria pondered for a moment, then remembered something and said to me:

“Hmmmm… I guess it would be best to use our cooking utensils, wouldn’t it? But…”

“But all of them are at the inn right now…”

“Yes… If we leave, Arvina will definitely…”

“Ehehehe… A new poisonous herb… Ta-da~!”

“…”

When Arvina pulled out a Paranedia poisonous herb from another desk drawer this time, Aria and I stared at each other with serious expressions. Then, having decided something with our eyes, we slowly approached Arvina. And four minutes later, we returned to the inn, packed all our belongings, and then headed back to Arvina’s house. Upon returning to Arvina’s house, we began to unpack, and Aria took out the cooking utensils, heading to the kitchen as she said to me:

“Then I will cook food for Zeke-nim with all my love~! So, I’m truly sorry, but Zeke-nim, please…”

“No need to be sorry, Aria! We decided to do this! I’ll be waiting for your food!”

“Yes, Zeke-nim! I’ll make you a delicious~ steak with the leftover Garuda meat from last time, so please wait!”

Aria smiled brightly and began to cook with the leftover Garuda meat from yesterday, taken from her backpack. Alright… While Aria is lighting the fire and cooking, I’ll… Phew… After confirming Aria had lit the fire for cooking, I approached Arvina, who was lying down, tied up with ropes all over her body and gagged.

“Muffled sounds! Muffled sounds!”

“Phew… I’m sorry, Elder-nim. But if we hadn’t done this, Elder-nim might have taken the opportunity while we were gone to pull out her hidden Paranedia… no, an even stronger poisonous herb, so we had no choice.”

“Muffled sounds! Puh-haaah…”

Considering that Arvina might take out and consume her hidden poisonous herbs when we weren’t around, we had no choice but to tie her up, and I was now apologizing to Arvina for it. Then, seeing that Arvina seemed too frustrated, I squatted down and removed the gag from the fallen Arvina, and Arvina, finally feeling liberated, began to breathe roughly… I’m sorry, Elder-nim.

“…Ha… Hahaha… Even if you look at it again, isn’t it pathetic?”

“…It certainly is… Even though Aria made a big effort to encourage Elder-nim… It’s truly pathetic. Us.”

“…? Pardon?”

When Arvina debased herself again, asking if she wasn’t pathetic even now, I sighed and replied that, on the contrary, we were pathetic. At my answer, Arvina looked greatly bewildered, and I, recalling all the events that had transpired and thinking of Aria’s known image in the world, said to Arvina:

“Aria, you see… She survived alone in a fallen kingdom. She suffered from guilt, just like Elder-nim, believing the kingdom’s destruction was due to her deciphering something she shouldn’t have. And Aria’s mind was twisted for a while because of that incident. So, there’s probably no one who understands Elder-nim as much as Aria does…”

“What do you mean by that…?”

“Because she went through a similar past, Aria showed Elder-nim sympathy, and because of that, she acted capriciously for the first time, showing interest in someone other than me, and encouraged Elder-nim. But… Aria and I both don’t know how to persuade Elder-nim to cheer up again… We’re still clumsy at such things, showing a pathetic side of ourselves.”

“…”

When I honestly said that even though Aria acted capriciously for the first time to save Arvina, and I also helped, we still didn’t know how to save Arvina, who ultimately relied on the poisonous herb again, and thus we looked pathetic, Arvina showed a considerable expression of bewilderment… Honestly, the moment Arvina reached for the poisonous herb again even after receiving Aria’s encouragement, I was greatly troubled within myself. How can I free Arvina from her guilt? Is reminding her of others’ gratitude not enough? I had many thoughts, but ultimately no answer came, so I lamented greatly.

“…If we had properly learned how to encourage others, we would have been able to help Elder-nim… Unfortunately, because we are so clumsy and inexperienced, all we can do is offer Elder-nim a warm meal. A warm meal that would make her forget about that poisonous herb.”

“…Then, if I may… can I ask one question…?”

“Yes?”

“Why do you… want to save me so much…? Is it just out of sympathy?”

When Arvina asked why we wanted to save her so much, I quietly fell into thought. When I simply closed my eyes and said nothing, Arvina asked me again.

“Even though Aria-nim encouraged me… Someone useless like me, still trapped by the screams of the past and relying only on poisonous herbs… What am I, that you would try so hard to save me…? Is it just out of sympathy…?”

“…It’s just…”

When Arvina debased herself again, asking what was so important about saving someone as pathetic as her, I, having gathered my thoughts, sighed and slowly stood up. Then, looking down at Arvina, who was trembling and looking up at me, awaiting my answer, I replied with a serious expression.

“If it’s just out of sympathy, then that could also be a reason. Aria is probably trying to save Elder-nim for a similar reason, but… As for me… I simply couldn’t ignore Elder-nim’s screams.”

“What…?”

“When I see Elder-nim being so despondent and demeaning herself… It reminds me of Aria when I first met her in the Esrad Kingdom… I simply couldn’t stand by and do nothing. That’s why I wanted to save her. Just as I saved Aria back then, when I didn’t know how to encourage or save her…”

“…”

“So, I just… felt like I didn’t want to give up, and I just wanted to save Elder-nim, somehow.”

I honestly replied to Arvina that I simply wanted to save her because she was in a similar situation, which reminded me of when I first met Aria in the past. The moment Arvina looked at my face blankly, sputtering, I felt a sharp gaze from behind me and turned around, my face pale. And in that direction was Aria, holding a ladle… looking furious… Gasp…

“Zeke-niiiiim…? So, are you saying that Zeke-nim was working so hard because you saw my reflection in another woman, huhhh?”

“Ah… no… th-that’s not it…”

“If you do that again… I won’t stand by idly either, okayyy??”

“…”

When Aria, who had overheard all the reasons I gave Arvina for wanting to help her so much, glared at me with a smiling face, I felt terror at her expression and shut my mouth, and Arvina, who had witnessed Aria’s never-before-seen side from behind, also seemed to freeze in bewilderment from tension. Then Aria handed me the ladle and said:

“Zeke-nim, please go to the kitchen for a moment and put the soup on plates. I have something I want to say to this person for a moment, you see?”

“Uh… Y-yeah. I will…”

As Aria put on a smiling face that suppressed her anger, I trembled in fear, took the ladle, and hurried to the kitchen. Then Aria turned her head and looked at Arvina, and Arvina began to tremble, watching Aria slowly turn her head towards her and approach.

“Th-That… I-I’m sorry, A-Aria-nim… I… I took all of Zeke-nim’s attention…”

“Of course, I’m angry because I’m jealous about that, but… I actually have something I really want to tell you, you see?”

The moment Arvina, who was convinced Aria would harm her, was gripped by fear, Aria squatted down, saying she had something she really wanted to tell her, and Arvina looked bewildered upon seeing Aria at eye level with her. Then Aria untied the ropes binding Arvina and said:

“As you may have heard from Zeke-nim, I also couldn’t easily escape from shock, just like you. But when I saw Zeke-nim… truly worrying about me, I felt love, and strangely, my heart became okay. So, because you have a similar past to mine, and you can’t help but demean yourself, I want to give you some advice.”

“Advice…?”

“Feel love for those who genuinely help you, and act according to that love. Then you, too, will be able to escape. Of course, if you touch Zeke-nim, I’ll do something with this staff, so don’t even think about it…!!”

“…Yes… Y-yes.”

Aria chuckled, then stood up and said to Arvina:

“Again, normally, I wouldn’t have given advice to anyone other than Zeke-nim. But… the time I’ve spent with Zeke-nim is slowly changing me. Thanks to that, I’m able to feel empathy for you and give you advice like this.”

“Time is slowly changing Aria-nim…”

“Of course! Zeke-nim hasn’t explicitly told me he loves me yet… But I’ll definitely make him do it! Mm-hmm!”

“Aria! I’ve moved all the food to the plates, aren’t you done?”

“Oh…!! I’m coming now, Zeke-nim!!”

Aria declared that thanks to her continuous time with me, she was slowly changing, and that someday she would make me love her. Then, when I called for Aria, she smiled brightly and headed to the kitchen, and Arvina stared blankly at Aria and me working together in the kitchen, then placed a hand on her chest and quietly bowed her head. As if she had gained some realization and was about to make a decision.