episode_0161

Lamented, Grieved, Hoped, and Yearned

You see, at the young age of 21, I became the chief of this village. Until then, with the responsibility of becoming chief, I felt with my entire being that I would have to look after the beast-folk in the future. To do that… to fulfill my responsibility, I trained and trained ceaselessly. I must become strong to protect my beast-folk. I must become strong to teach power to other beast-folk. With these thoughts, I devoted myself to training. And so, a year passed, and when I turned 21…

“My name is Arvina, everyone. I will lead this village by fulfilling the responsibilities of the chieftain’s position!”

“Chieftain Arvina-nim!!”

“As expected, Arvina became chief. Well… she is certainly trustworthy.”

I became chief, trusted by the beast-folk of Kartun. Having taken on the position of chief, I began constructing a fence to protect the village from the monsters of the forest. As a result, Kartun began to experience fewer monster attacks, and with a guard post established on top of the fence, the monsters dared not even think of coveting Kartun.

“Wow!! The monsters are retreating!! We can sleep soundly again tonight!!”

“Gasp… gasp… Chieftain-nim… here’s some water. You’ve worked hard again today.”

“It’s nothing. If it means protecting the village… then leading the vanguard and defeating monsters is just…”

Always leading the guard to defeat monsters, I gained even more trust from the beast-folk. And as the beast-folk welcomed me, my heart swelled with pride. Thus, I sought various ways to develop Kartun. Originally, there weren’t many trees within Kartun, making it difficult to get fruits, but I moved trees from outside in, providing resting places for the people and areas where they could freely pick fruits. And then…

“Gasp… gasp… No, are you really going to do it, Chieftain-nim?”

“Of course. If this fails, our beast-folk will have to struggle to find water and fish outside. So… Heave!”

“….!!”

Although there was a river nearby, getting to it meant passing through a forest teeming with monsters, so I created a waterway, bringing a stream into the village. Thanks to this, the beast-folk could catch fish even within the village. However, the threat from surrounding monsters constantly grew, so I formed a special force to protect the village.

“You will carry out missions outside. Of course, occasionally… no… often, you may return to the village to spend enjoyable time with your families.”

“But if we take it easy, won’t there be too few people to protect our families from the monster threat?”

“That’s right! Chieftain-nim gave us the strength to protect our families, so of course, we must focus on the mission of defending the village!”

“…. Hahaha….”

All the beast-folk I taught and trained, as well as those who already had combat abilities, voluntarily joined the special force, and driven by a sense of mission as members of the special force, they constantly moved busily to protect the village. And thanks to them, all the beast-folk of Kartun could feel at ease.

“It means Chieftain-nim improved Kartun itself…”

“But what connection does that have with your obsession with power? Did you become obsessed with power because of the monsters?”

“No… I realized it after that… That the monsters weren’t the problem. Ha… hahaha….”

“….?”

In response to Aria’s question about whether her obsession with power was due to monsters, Arvina replied that monsters weren’t the problem, then suddenly began to laugh. At Arvina’s reaction, we tilted our heads in confusion, and after a long, hollow laugh, Arvina clutched her head with both hands and spoke to us.

“I realized it… only after about half a year had passed… I realized it around the time Kartun’s repairs were almost complete… That the creatures threatening the beast-folk were not monsters… but humans…!!”

“….!!”

As Arvina explained, trembling, that she had realized it was not monsters but humans who were threatening the beast-folk, I immediately grasped the meaning of her words and couldn’t help but accept it. Monsters could be subdued, but humans enslaved beast-folk in various ways…!! And as proof, there were beast-folk slaves in Boska and Robdom… As I immediately understood her words and fell silent, Arvina, still trembling, began to continue explaining her past to us.

“…? Humans are targeting our beast-folk?”

“Yes… it seems some beast-folk have already been abducted by humans…”

At that time, I didn’t understand. Though we were often behind humans in magic, we could overwhelm them with our physical abilities. However, knowing full well that the beast-folk who reported this to me had no reason to lie, I decided to listen to the rest of their story.

“Please continue… No, do you perhaps know in what way they abducted the beast-folk of our village?”

“They not only used magic but also set various traps to begin abducting the beast-folk. It seems… they might have taken our expulsion of monsters from this forest as an opportunity to reach the forest near our village…”

“…. What did you say….?”

This was my first shock. I had created a special force to prevent monsters from even thinking of coveting Kartun… but I never imagined that it would turn into a poison, allowing humans to come so close to this place. However, such incidents had occurred before, and the beast-folk had retaliated appropriately to rescue their captured kin, so I thought it would be the same this time and issued instructions to the special force.

“From now on, you must threaten any humans loitering around Kartun. Especially if they are slave merchants, you must capture them alive and extract information.”

“Understood, Chieftain-nim!”

For now, I thought it was right to threaten them and extract information. And I thought the special force also shared my opinion and didn’t express any dissatisfaction… Because immediately after I gave the order, a soldier appeared to protest to me.

“So, we can’t go rescue the captured beast-folk from them now…? Even now, there might be beast-folk who are being tortured in various ways and can’t collect themselves…!!”

“That’s right…!! For a long time, humans have been abducting us for ridiculous reasons: that our physical structure resembles theirs, yet we have ears and tails unlike them! If we’re going to set an example, wouldn’t it be right to go to their base and give them a good thrashing instead?!”

“That’s right!”

“….”

They shouted at me in unison, urging to teach the humans a lesson and set an example this time. I understood their feelings as well. Because it was a sad thing for me too to see my kin captured by another race. Moreover, if their own family had been abducted, they would experience unimaginable grief. But I couldn’t issue an order to retaliate against the humans.

“From what I heard, their scale seems quite substantial. If our Kartun soldiers were to raid their base, there’s a risk we could be defeated. Therefore, taking prisoners to negotiate with them is the way to minimize damage.”

“Ughhh… Understood, Chieftain-nim….”

Since attacking an organization large enough to establish a nation called Boska could lead to our own defeat, I had no choice but to order them not to go. Of course, I also wanted to go and smash them all to rescue the beast-folk. But if we were to fall, Kartun could be swallowed by monsters and other invaders, so I couldn’t do that… However…

“Chi… Chieftain-nim!! My son… by humans…!!”

“Chieftain-nim!! My friend… by humans…!!”

“Chieftain-nim!! Humans…!!”

‘Ah…. Aaaah….’

They began to grow bolder day by day. Knowing that we wouldn’t kill them but only threaten them, the humans even made preparations against our threats and began abducting our beast-folk. This was my second shock. Seeing the beast-folk around me grieving over their abducted friends and families, and the special force lamenting their inability to protect them, I began to fall into confusion, but I couldn’t crumble. Because if I crumbled, all of Kartun could crumble. So I gathered my strength, comforted the beast-folk, and thought and thought of a solution. But time was definitely not on my side.

“This won’t do. Let’s fight back against them, everyone!!”

“That’s right!! Those humans are underestimating us too much!! We can’t just stand by and be subjected to this!!”

After about four years, the beast-folk, already enraged by the frequent human incursions and abductions, began to pick up swords, bows, and spears to fight back against the humans. However, knowing full well that Kartun’s warriors would find it difficult to contend with the increasingly powerful human trafficking organizations and slave merchants, I tried to dissuade them with all my might.

“….!! No, everyone!! If you go now, you will….”

“But Chieftain-nim…. Do you know how painful it is… that my daughter isn’t by my side right now?!”

“That’s right!! Even now, my family… my friends must be begging me to save them…! Thinking about that, I just can’t…”

“Let’s go!! We must save everyone as soon as possible!!”

“Ah… no… Pleaaase!!”

But they wouldn’t even listen to my voice. Already consumed by rage, they all headed towards Boska. As they left Kartun, I inwardly tried to reassure myself that it would be okay, and I didn’t stop comforting the other beast-folk. Nevertheless, anxiety began to seize me, and from that day on, I couldn’t get a proper wink of sleep. And a week passed… I fell into my third shock.

“Ah… no!! Darling!!!”

“Waaaaaaah!!!”

“….”

From Boska, they sent the skulls of the beast-folk who had attacked them, along with name tags bearing their names, to Kartun. Among them was even Karina’s father. There, I tasted despair. Thus, my mind slowly began to warp. Then, I gave the special force an order I would never have given under normal circumstances.

“From this moment on, kill every human who attempts to enter this place. Especially if they are slave merchants or members of a trafficking organization, kill them more brutally.”

“Yes… Chieftain-nim…”

“But Chieftain-nim… Are you… a-alright…?”

“…. Yes. I’m perfectly fine, so don’t worry…”

All the beast-folk worried about me, but I could only say I was fine. If I crumbled, Kartun would too…. In truth, after that, there was no reason. I simply kept repeating to myself, over and over, that I couldn’t crumble. But the world showed me no mercy… it only trampled me mercilessly.

“Damn it….!! The human we missed today abducted another beast-folk…!!”

‘Ah…..’

“Waaaaaaah!! Mommy, where are you?! Daddyyy!!”

‘Aaaah….’

The ceaseless wailing and lamentations tormented me without end. As those sounds relentlessly plagued me, I began to weaken to the point where daily life became impossible. Then, when the screams tormented me even in my mind, I would throw tantrums at home and ceaselessly let out hollow laughs.

“Uh-ha… uh-hahaha…. No matter what I do, it’s useless…. Uh-hehehe….. There’s no way!! Ahahaha…. Ah…. Should I just quit….? Everything…?”

Then, my mind began to warp and break to the extent that I even thought quitting the chieftain’s position would bring me peace. But I couldn’t. Because if I were to leave this place now, it was obvious I would be branded as a helpless and pathetic beast-folk who provided humans an excuse to enter. Of course, after that, my mind warped even further, to the point where I couldn’t even remember that reason. However, clearly remembering that the beast-folk were suffering because I was pathetic, I self-harmed, wishing to die. Yet, paradoxically, I was too afraid to die, so I couldn’t. Of course…

‘…. If I die… everyone will mock me, right…?’

There was also the reason that I couldn’t die because I was afraid of being called a cowardly chieftain who simply died to escape the situation. Nevertheless, I did not give up on encouraging the other beast-folk by appearing normal to them through my abilities, and by embodying Arvina, who never lost her smile in the central office of Kartun, unwilling to abandon hope. Perhaps it was the responsibility of being chief… or perhaps I held onto a sliver of hope… or maybe I wanted to show a good image to the beast-folk, I don’t know. However… the fourth shock came to me.

“D-Did you hear?! Commander Tess-nim…”

“Ah… no!! If humans become this strong, we’ll….!!”

“….”

When I heard the news that Tess had been abducted by humans, I felt something important inside me snap. And from that moment on, I became obsessed with power. Everyone is unhappy because I am powerless. Everyone is being abducted because I am a fool. Everyone is dying because I am a pathetic excuse for a beast-folk!!! So I trained, and trained, and trained ceaselessly. To gain strong power… to gain even stronger power so I wouldn’t lose anything more…!!! As I continued to train… the final shock came to me.

“Huh… huh?! H-Honey?!”

“You…!!”

“Mom!! I’m home!!”

“Ah…. Aaaah…!!”

“Huh…?”

I was bewildered to see all the beast-folk who had been captured by Boska and Robdom return to Kartun. I had dreamed of the beast-folk safely returning to Kartun during my sleep… and I wondered if this was also just a dream. Then, upon hearing the full story from Tess, who had returned to Kartun… I found the answer I had so yearned and longed for.

“If the Black Saintess, Aria Litt, hadn’t completely annihilated Robdom’s subordinates, we would likely have been dead. Anyway, Boska was also destroyed, allowing the captured beast-folk to return home….? Chieftain-nim…?”

“Ah…. Aah…. Ahahaha…. To think such a powerful being existed in this world…!!”

When I heard Aria-nim’s story, I realized. That my heart had become filled with nothing but faith towards Aria-nim. Ah…!! As expected, that Black Saintess named Aria… no… if one is as strong as the Black Saintess-nim, one can save everyone…!! One can protect everyone…!! And… to teach someone as sorrowful as me, she personally destroyed Robdom…!! Ah… my Black Saintess…!!

“…. You said you would return here someday, didn’t you…? Uh…. Hehehe… Uh-hehehe…. I wish you would come quickly….”

I continued to wait for Aria-nim to come here. To repay Aria-nim, who gave me the answer, and to receive her teachings to protect the beast-folk of Kartun. But even after several years, Aria-nim did not visit Kartun, and in my waiting, I began to worship the Black Saintess-nim. However, my already warped and broken mind began to twist even that emotion. Thus, my mind, unknown to anyone, wandered this world, transforming from devotion to sorrow, from sorrow to despair, and from despair to madness.

“…..!!”

“Just a pathetic beast-folk, hating myself, lost in madness without purpose or reason.”

Arvina, who had just told us her past, rolled up her sleeve, showed us the marks of self-harm, and then stared directly at us with empty eyes, saying: