episode_0161

It was a strange attraction.

Is it appropriate to describe my body as climbing up a pure white space? No, it felt the same way as climbing up countless circular stairwells one by one.

What is it? These days, stairwells aren’t built very often. It’s a huge waste of space, and stair accidents can cause serious injuries.

As I sat in this floating silence, I thought that I was alone and thinking strange thoughts, but when I thought about it, I realized that it was not strange and that it was my mind’s struggle to maintain my ego. .

I unconsciously tried to leave a mark on the spinning stairwell with the large sword in my right hand.

The attempt had nothing to do with the intention of destroying public property; it was an act without any particular intention, like an innocent child destroying a toad house built while playing with dirt on a playground.

As I looked down at my right hand, which was holding the great sword, I suddenly felt a sense of discomfort welling up in me.

what.

Why do I suddenly see a spoon in this hand and the hand holding the spoon is on the right? So, the hand holding the spoon right now must be the right hand, are we thinking the same thing?

Why do I perceive myself in the third person?

Something, something, my mind is spinning and I can’t think of anything. It fills me with the feeling that I have become a blank slate, like a newborn baby.

‘Are we all there?’

Suddenly, a white door stood before my eyes. It was a door that gave the impression of being shabby without any decoration.

The endless endless stairs had already disappeared, and I felt blank, as if I was sticking my face into an old projector and looking at the device’s source of light.

Even as I was losing my senses, I had an idea of what was beyond this door.

My mind was spinning and I felt like I had become a blank slate, but I didn’t forget the reason I came here.

Know. And beyond that, there is a being that I feel very nostalgic for.

my source. Where I was born.

‘That damn god.’

While I was repeating this to myself, I suddenly felt a sense of immorality. A pure sense of guilt crept into my mind.

‘Because it’s the same as swearing at your parents?’

Suddenly, a strong presence emanated from the small gap in the door. Why haven’t I felt this presence before? It’s strange.

I took a moment to catch my breath. What should I say? I couldn’t remember anything.

What did I experience? No, what was I planning? Absorb something great?

It was arrogance. Something like this… It’s a foul.

A child who realized that he had committed a similar misdeed and was caught by his parents came home prepared with numerous excuses.

It was a situation where, as soon as I saw my mother’s frozen face, I froze and couldn’t say anything.

If I were a fish in a stream, the great being was a huge waterfall. No, it was not a waterfall, but the high sky itself. No, it may extend beyond the sky and beyond the universe.

What to do with this guy? What was Alexstras thinking? Dimostra, what about that idiot?

They must have known the true nature of this god since they were former guardians who assisted such a ruthless guy. How on earth did they come up with the idea of absorbing this guy?

“Oh!”

I suddenly screamed. Suddenly, a forearm came out and grabbed my arm, which was hesitating outside the door.

“Oh my! Now, wait a minute!”

The arm didn’t grab me and pull me in with any force.

He doesn’t apply any force, he just grabs me with the grip strength of a simple handshake. If you want to rebel, you should be able to do it.

I was unable to resist the force and was helplessly dragged inside the door.

In an instant, a goosebumps sensation enveloped my entire body, and my consciousness sank into the deep, deep sea of light.

Would you say it is the back side of perception?

Even though I was falling into the other side of unconsciousness, I felt a deep sense of comfort.

It felt like I was drifting freely inside my mother, like a fetus conceived in amniotic fluid.

Unlike the scary, harsh, and harsh outside world, this inside was so kind and warm that I almost lost my mind for a moment.

Yes, it was “almost”. That means I didn’t lose it.

Could it be that the reason I was able to protect myself even though I was in a space where my consciousness seemed to scatter and disappear was because of some unknown anxiety?

Because there is no light here.

Although it exists in countless bright lights, it does not have the properties that the light should have. When we put our hands together, we can feel each other’s touch, so I guess I’m still maintaining my shape.

For some reason, even when I look down, all I see is pure white light. Let alone my cumbersome hands, I could not see my body, my red scales, or even the great sword I was holding in my hands.

It was just a warm, pure white dawn. The dark curtain, which would have been pitch black, has simply been replaced with white.

Could it be that I am blind? Could it be that the optic nerves are completely burned out by this enormous energy and are unable to perceive objects? But I don’t feel anything like that.

Feeling anxious for a moment, I waved my arms and splashed the water. I wanted to escape this sea of light.

As soon as I had a purpose, my foggy mind cleared and my thoughts began to return to finding what I needed to do.

The consciousness that had been drifting aimlessly in the vast sea gradually finds its proper place. Beyond this unconsciousness, to the dam where I can exist as myself.

Because I must not lose myself here. Because I still have countless relationships to remember.

It’s been a while since I resisted, which may have been pointless.

I found one true light in the darkness in the form of light.

A little sparkle. Although it existed so far away, I could instinctively know that that faint twinkle was true light.

That one had the same light as this pure white space, but the color was different, so I moved my arms and legs countless times in search of that light.

The great sword he was holding in his hand was already lost a long time ago. A great sword of purity bound to me by a long bond.

That great sword may exist somewhere in this mire of the midnight sun, but I will probably never find it again.

After feeling empty for a moment, I left it behind and kept swimming.

“Wow!”

As I felt the distance from true colors gradually getting closer, I suddenly saw the scenery change.

The space filled with false light disappears and proper vision comes into my pupils.

“Ha, hahaha.”

Was this what it must have felt like for a creature to come to land for the first time after a long period of evolution? I wonder if this was the scene I saw when I first came out on land, free from the limitations of being an aquatic creature.

I don’t know the truth, but I think he definitely felt the same way as me. Light is something that we cannot help but long for.

“… .”

The corners of my mouth, which had been filled with joy for a moment, stiffened. Because I found a familiar greatsword lying at my feet.

The moment I discovered the clear, true light, I let go of my sword and started swimming. But what exists here?

“It was fun to watch. It was a nice sight to see myself doing all kinds of things in the same place.”

“What about you?”

“Huh, do you think it’s bad taste?”

When I turned around, there was a man. He was an elegant-looking man with pale yellow blond hair who looked as if he were made of melted gold, and wearing clothes of indescribable luxury.

“Who are you? No, are you really Alexstras?”

“Ho, it looks like you have figured out the situation. Well then, thank goodness there is less time to explain. Because you shouldn’t exist here for long.”

“No, Alexstras is dead. He was killed by Dimostra. That damn guy can’t exist in front of me.”

“… Hmm.”

It was a strange question and answer. I suddenly felt as if my intelligence had gone down dozens of levels.

Why did you think that guy was Alexstras? No, and why did he talk alone and come to his own conclusion?

I felt like my mind was being torn apart. The sudden tsunami of information rushed through the folds of my brain, causing my eyelids to flutter in spasms.

“Think slowly, Northmund. You know everything now. There’s nothing to worry about because it’s just something unexpected and out of order.”

He gave a subtle warning to the guests that they should not stay here for a long time and told them to take their time and think about it.

Feeling a little annoyed, I lowered my head and saw a great sword lying around below, so I held it in my hand.

“I see.”

Realized. The sea of light in which I swam is divine. Yes, the power of the great being.

A state in which the body of a great being itself is floating and shaking aimlessly.

I managed to escape from that existence by maintaining my sanity and not becoming part of its image.

With that conclusion in mind, I stared at the blond man in front of me.

“Yes, you are right. Is it getting organized little by little?”

“Then the reason I got out was… .”

“That’s right. A great being has already lost its will and remains only itself, or to put it simply, a shell without an ego.”

“… And I was able to escape because I was also part of God?”

“Hmm, it’s a little different.”

The blonde man shrugged.

“It is not just because it is part of God that it is safe, but because it is part of God, it should be seen that its body responded. Because you had the will to get out of it, your original energy, or to put it simply, divine power, responded to your will.”

is it. That’s why Alexstras and that fucking devil in the back can be so relaxed.

I was really scared just by the energy I could see outside of God’s imaginary world, but it turned out to be easier than I thought.

To use an analogy, was it that I was already the owner of the car keys and all I had to do was sit in the car and start the engine? And Alexstras and Dimostra tried to take the car keys from me.

“Ha, actually, you almost made a mistake because you were scared at first. If you do it wrong, it might not be recognized as you. If you had done that, there would have been a rejection reaction and you would have been scattered inside.”

Feeling a little embarrassed, I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the person speaking.

Still, we arrived. The method was clumsy, but in the end, I reached the final destination of my journey.

In the end, it worked out well, but I still wasn’t very happy. On the contrary, I felt a little shuddered.

What on earth was that divine power that seemed to be sinking into the thick tar of light?

Did it mean the very nature of being a great being? In the end, does it fit the nature of a loner who wanted to give up everything and run away into delusion?

“You know that is spitting while lying down, right? You haven’t forgotten that you were born from that god in the first place.”

“… By the way.”

“Ah, I know what you’re trying to say. Why am I called Alexstras?”

“Um.”

I waited for the guy to open his mouth to answer the question, but even after waiting for a long time, instead of opening his mouth, the corners of his mouth were only slightly raising.

It seemed like he had no intention of answering. No, you don’t feel the need to answer?

So rather than asking again, Da thought deeply about why he wasn’t answering.

After a while, a rough outline was established.

“Yes. Perhaps you were a little disappointed because Alexstras ended too easily. And you created this image yourself. I realized that if the demon archduke, the leader of the demons who commands all the monsters, would probably have this image.”

“… no way. This is too noble style. I don’t feel like he’s the devil.”

“Well, isn’t this the style of high-ranking demons that often appear in subculture? At least it is undoubtedly true that you embodied me in this image. Stop admitting it, Northmund. In the first place, you have criticized great beings countless times, saying that you are a hikikomori who escapes to strange novels, but in fact, you are also a being from that god. The nature is the same.”

“… .”

“Now then, come to your own conclusion. Why am I talking in front of myself? I want to hear it once.”

Just as he didn’t answer my question, I didn’t answer his question.

But I felt like I knew it at first glance. Judging from what I have said so far, I know that he also knows the truth.

That means my guess was correct.

“You got it right. I am a being that you created for yourself in order to absorb great beings and not lose your sense of self. I created the being I am in order to sequentially accept the information you know, or the information you will learn from now on.”

“Hmm.”

“Yes, actually, you are talking to a wall right now. You are talking to yourself. Everything I am saying right now is what you are saying yourself. I’m like a ventriloquist dummy. You’re just using my mouth to speak.”

“… Are you saying it wasn’t something I created?”

“It will be a bit different from the commonly thought definition of creation. To put it simply, you are playing two-player chess by yourself. And everything I just said is just a recitation of what you thought I wanted to say. Alexstras is not alive. What you see before your eyes is just a ventriloquist doll. Northmund is the one making that voice.”

“… .”

“I guess I have nothing to say now. Looks like I’ve already roughly figured it all out.”

I nodded slightly. I don’t need him anymore. Because everyone realized it.

And I have to go back. This world will not be destroyed, everything will be maintained again, and the same order will be created again.

It takes some time to do that. Because the absorbed power is not yet complete. I was a little taken aback by how he suddenly became such an enormous being.

“Are you planning on making any changes to your world? Do I really need to use my own mouth to say this?”

“… That is.”

“That’s right, you can do anything because you are God. For example, pretending that the heart extraction live broadcast around the world never happened. Seeing as how he made me say it, I guess he was really worried about it. ”

“No, that is.”

“Or, change the fact that he was from the Duke of Grandis.”

“… Stop, there is no time to fool around.”

He giggled and spread his hands exaggeratedly, and I gritted my teeth.

In fact, it was a matter of serious concern. This happened at a very inconvenient time. I was embarrassed too.

Now that I think about it, it was ridiculous because that devil had customized me with a strange personality.

I was sick of it.

As he was waving his hand to destroy the doll, which had now exhausted its usefulness, the guy’s expression changed.

‘Huh?”

He was talking with his eyes. I realized that too and my expression hardened.

What he will say, or rather, what I will say through his own mouth… .

What the doll named Alexstras will say cannot be dismissed as nonsense.

I bit my lip when I saw his empty eyes reflected in my pupils. It tasted like blood, chewed by sharp teeth.

“… Now I have to tell this story for the last time. Northmund.”