episode_0153

It could be said that human memories are vague things without a framework.

Even if everything is said and shown, in the end, it is human memory that determines whether something is important or not and keeps only the important things in one’s mind.

That’s why I can say that my memory is not correct.

After repeatedly talking and listening to other people, I started to feel like my head was becoming more and more strange.

I don’t remember anything, but others knew about my past. And I just looked at the story through them.

What do I know and what do I not know?

Without being able to clearly draw the line, I cast my gaze in confusion beyond.

I wonder if everyone hates me, and where on earth should I belong?

Even though I searched hard for the fragments of memories left over from the past, I could not find the answer.

Reality, and again reality. But there is no room for me.

It felt like it was squeezing me.

This is what I hear when I feel like there is no place for me anywhere.

When I thought I had lost everything, when I thought there was nothing left in front of me.

‘Let’s go to a place we’ve never been before, see the scenery, eat delicious food, and take a walk.’

The moment those words passed through my head, the mountains I had only seen through the screen seemed to be drawn, and the sea seemed to unfold. I felt like I could see something amazing if I went there.

It seemed like they would sell a lot of things that looked delicious.

‘Go see the cherry blossoms, play with the sea water at the beach, and watch the autumn leaves change color. At the end, we will also see our first snow together.’

It didn’t just mean one or two meetings.

A voice filled my heart, saying that it would be nice if you were next to me, that we would be together when spring blooms, summer melts, fall falls, and winter falls.

At first, I thought it was just a confessional comment to seduce someone, but that wasn’t the case anymore.

I knew very well that my place was there and that my heart wanted me to run to its side.

‘Since we don’t know what’s out there, I think it would be a good idea to go on a trip and see what there is out there.’

Yeah, I wanted to go somewhere too.

I always wanted to escape this hellish life.

So, please take me away.

I prayed earnestly. Please hold my hand and run away somewhere.

Take me, who has lost my place in reality and here, somewhere, far away.

Close your eyes gently.

I’m just waiting for you to get me out of here.

Until then, my role was to preserve what little of my heart was left.

*

“Didn’t you hear? Get out of here.”

He fired sharply. Veronica, or rather the goddess, was glaring at me with a cruel expression on her face.

Yes, that’s the difference between real and fake. The real Veronica doesn’t make that kind of face.

The moment you reach this moment, you probably asked me why you didn’t keep your promise. And he probably got tired of crying and left me.

But that’s not the case, and he shoots at me venomously and gives off a vicious vibe that makes me feel like he’s going to kill me. The appearance was so ugly that the corners of my mouth went up.

A room that can sleep two people. Life blooms there. But it was all meaningless. My heart felt empty after losing Veronica here, and if she was already dead and gone, there was no reason for me to run towards the ending of this world, so I became irritated.

“… What do you think will happen if it continues like this? You won’t even be able to find a bitch called the Pope, and you’ll lose miserably to the devil, right? Nothing you wish for can come true.”

“What is that? I never wanted anything like that?”

“What?”

“Pope? I was just trying to find a way to punish the king who harassed Veronica. Do you think it has any meaning? Actually, you don’t need it. Devil? I challenged Veronica because she wanted to go home, and even if I couldn’t go home, it would be dangerous to live in this world, so I tried to get rid of it.”

I sat down on Veronica and slowly got up. Then I got down on my hands and knees and used cleansing magic to cleanse my body.

I climbed back onto the bed and roughly sat down.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I won’t fight.”

This was the only way I fought.

By not fighting, I was only expressing my resentment towards this man called God.

The time limit in Time Attack, which can be called game over in a game, is now fatal to her.

“… Are you crazy?”

“Without Veronica, there is no reason to go back. And there is no reason to hope for a peaceful life here. Even if I go back like this anyway, I might live with an empty heart knowing that I left Veronica behind.”

Life without Veronica. In fact, I don’t know if I can endure it without any problems.

But knowing Veronica, living the life I left behind, and living the life I made when I killed her because of my mistake, seemed more devastating than anything else. So it seemed like it would be difficult to endure with sanity.

“… I won’t do anything.”

I said calmly. I won’t do anything for this world.

“So, you can either become the Pope or do whatever you want. I don’t understand why they covet a mere human body.”

“Do you think I can survive as a human in this world with a mind like yours?! You are a being who has the same perception as me… ! In the world I created, you have an equal perspective as me, not as a human, so why do you harbor regrets about that!”

I sighed.

In the end, it almost made me angry because it sounded like he needed someone who was his equal.

Veronica, who had been hurt by something like that, was disgusted by the fact that she had hurt her again by pretending to give her a chance.

“Fuck… Do you think I look like a kind of person to you?”

I don’t know. Now, to cool off, I tilt my head back and lie down on the bed.

This world was fake. The fake, with the real disappearing, was only showing that everything was an illusion in the end.

Sadness welled up.

And on the other side, anger was rising.

“Do you know why I brought that in?”

Are you talking about Veronica? If so, the word ‘thing’ should not have been used.

But that bitch didn’t seem to care about that, so she jumped up, bared her teeth, and screamed.

“… Because I was destined to fall behind anyway! Why do I expect so much from you for allowing me to live here for a while… ! You are no different from any other human being, no different from the creatures I created. In the end, you have the same perception as me, but the essence is not the same.”

The emotion was slowly disappearing from the voice.

“I did this because I thought I would not find a being like me in what I created, but in the end, it is nothing more than a creation. The creators are different.”

The venomous gaze disappeared, and all that remained was the gaze quietly looking at Hana.

“… I have no intention of being with someone like you, and I won’t go any further than this unless you give Veronica back. Even if the devil destroys this place and kills me, that won’t change.”

“Abominable. I put things of the same trend in my creation to prevent them from entering, and I put them away to prevent them from developing feelings for me, but I never thought they would open their hearts so quickly.”

It was a calm voice, but it seemed like he knew the day was coming.

It was not the time to lie in bed. In the cold atmosphere, without realizing it, we stood against each other across the bed.

“… It’s stupid. In the end, are you content with nothing more than a trivial puppet show? You really have no intention of living a life outside the theater?”

“You’re saying there’s no need for that and just go away? No, if I kill you too, will Veronica come back?”

“This body is a body that never dies. How are you going to kill me? If you cut off my head and give me Veronica right away, wouldn’t it look nice?”

“Crazy bastard.”

It was like being held hostage.

That’s why I could kill her, but I couldn’t.

I had no idea that I would be able to win against a body that came back to life no matter how many times I killed it, and I couldn’t help but fear that if my words came true, I would cause serious pain and trauma to Veronica.

But it’s okay. If you weren’t going to give it back, I could just hand it over without a fight.

Day after day, day after day, all I had to do was spend the remaining money profligately and wait for destruction by the devil.

How to kill the goddess was a problem I had no idea about.

“If the world is destroyed like this, what do you have to gain by saying such incompetent things?”

The sight of Veronica speaking calmly in her voice was eerie.

Those eyes, which were focused but seemed empty, seemed truly foreign.

“What do you get? No. just… ”

I’m just doing foolish things because of the loss of Veronica.

When it comes to foolishness, there is nothing greater than humans.