episode_0152

…

The problem child of Hanseol Group.

Han Sua, that’s me.

I’ll make my statement now.

“Hngk… Ugh… Ughk…”

Yes. It felt good.

Studying.

TV.

Comics.

And all the other things my parents forced on me under the guise of “decent hobbies.”

Including everything I’ve tried in my twenty years of life…

…Having sex with a man

was the best feeling ever.

So good it made everything else fade from memory.

So good it drove me insane.

You know how they say,

once you’re deep into drugs, you lose interest in everything you ever loved?

After having sex, I think I understand why they say that.

Once you’ve tasted pleasure that immediate and intense, all the little joys in life just feel hollow.

Sitting on the couch hugging a pillow while watching TV isn’t fun anymore.

Imagining a prince on a white horse while reading sweet romance comics… Well, you get the metaphor. Even that doesn’t excite me like it used to.

And “making friends for the sake of the group’s image,” which was never fun to begin with, has long been tossed into the mental trash bin.

Instead, I’ve found a new hobby that suits me perfectly.

“…Hff… Hff…”

Masturbating.

Using my phone—which I only knew how to use for calls and texts—

to access adult sites (age verification required) and look up porn comics,

then shoving my fingers as deep as they’ll go

into the hole that’s already dripping wet,

with all my strength.

That’s become my daily routine.

…Ah, of course,

I’m still doing it right n—

…Ngh…

…now…

“What… do I… do…?”

The “appointment” is at 8.

There’s still 30 minutes left, so I can go at least four more times.

So I gulp down the saliva pooling under my tongue,

bury my face in the pillow,

and exhale hard.

Until my already flushed face

grows even warmer

from my own lewd breath.

“No… No… Hngk…… ……Nooo…”

Just how much slick is there?

As I push my fingers back into the sticky, squelching mess, my hips tremble like an idiot.

It feels good, sure, but there’s a way to make it feel even better.

Not holding back the moans slipping out, thrusting my fingers in deep.

The key is not stopping, even when it feels so good tears start rolling down.

Even when my breath comes out in ragged gasps, even when I start muttering “No, no” without realizing,

even when the walls of my pussy spasm as if begging, “Can’t we take a break?”

even when the wet squelching drowns out my moans,

even when my voice starts sounding more like sobbing than moaning—

I remember the scent of cum from last time,

imagine the cock that buried itself deep inside me,

close the door tight so I don’t disturb the housekeeper outside,

and thrust my longest finger

all the way…

…to the root,

scraping against the walls.

Just like Seo… Seo, the teacher did.

“…… Ngh… Ugh… G-Gonna… cum…… …Ngh…?!?”

Squelch, squelch—the sound of slick gushing out doesn’t stop.

My already sticky fingers, my palm, everything gets drenched all over again.

It’s a sight too embarrassing to show anyone else,

but this is my bedroom.

A space no one can enter without my permission.

Muttering words even I can’t understand, I scrape my fingers inside.

Lost in the afterglow,

Squelch, squelch, squelch—

Even as lewd noises escape with every thrust,

even as the sound of the sheets rustling and my own moans echo in my ears,

I keep masturbating.

Because sex is embarrassing.

“…… Haa… Ha…”

Ah, of course,

back then it was a cock,

and now it’s just fingers—there’s that crucial difference.

But this isn’t so bad either.

It’s like the difference between counting to 100 by ones

and counting to 100 by thousands.

Still, not bad.

At least this isn’t embarrassing, right?

If I had sex with my sex partner, the teacher,

I’d have to show him

my vulgar body,

my vulgar moans.

Trading pleasure for human dignity—that’s a fair deal, isn’t it?

Choosing pleasure here… is something only an animal would do.

Even if I am a Variant Awakener,

I’m not an animal.

“…Ahh…… …Felt… so good…”

Anyway.

Lately, the moment I get home, I lock myself in my room and just masturbate.

…Maybe it’s because I’ve been going through too many wet panties and towels.

The housekeeper must’ve noticed my obsession at some point, but thankfully, she doesn’t seem to care.

Well,

we’re both women, after all.

She must’ve had her own phase of being obsessed with masturbation too.

How could any woman dislike this kind of pleasure?

…Ah,

unless she’s a lesbian.

Well, I’m not a lesbian, so…

I love this pleasure.

“…”

When I pull my fingers out after climax, the slick, as always, drips down my palm.

A shameful fluid, unrelated to any man, produced solely by my own body.

After staring at it with a sullen expression for a moment, I carefully bring it to my lips.

…I figured, as a woman, I should get used to this metallic taste.

Like last time, when the teacher… held Yozora’s hips tight, thrust into her, then made me clean up with my mouth.

Turns out, I get chances to taste it more often than I thought.

If I get used to it…

Maybe one day, I’ll like it.

One day.

Yeah.

…That’s the end of my statement.

Don’t ask questions.

It’s embarrassing.

“28 minutes…”

Floating in the pleasant afterglow, lost in thought for just a moment.

Finally snapping out of it, I lick my fingers clean and check my phone.

7:32.

28 minutes left until my meeting with the teacher.

I gave up on showering properly around the 7th round of masturbation, so if I just wipe off the sweat and leave, I’ve got about 20 minutes to spare.

“…”

Huu, huu—after taking a deep breath, I start touching myself again.

If I meet the teacher with even a shred of lust left,

I might blurt out something stupid and ruin my plan.

152

I’ve never lived in a palace-like mansion, but I have lived in a decently fancy officetel before.

The one thing I still remember? That it had a wine bar inside—who puts a wine bar in an officetel?

Not like I was rolling in money or anything…

Looking back, it might’ve been because of shadowboxing. Either way, I was on the villain’s side back then.

What’s Seojin up to these days?

No news, so maybe he’s working as a sidekick overseas?

Or quietly treating rich folks and raking in cash under the radar.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

I’d love it if things stayed quiet, but there’s always the chance he’s snooping around, suspicious of the silence.

So, annoying as it was, I’d change residences occasionally, just in case…

“The rent here’s weird too.”

On my way to Han Sua’s place, I idly checked rental prices and let out a dry laugh at the absurd numbers.

Do they even know how many minimum-wage hours it takes to earn that?

Doubt Sua even knows this year’s minimum wage.

She probably gets that kind of money—no, dozens of times that—as “allowance” without a second thought.

Meanwhile, I’d have to do a few unpleasant treatments to earn that much.

Kinda jealous.

[Seojin] – Just arrived. Can you come down?

On the sidewalk beside lazily passing cars,

I sent Sua a short message and waited, hands in my coat pockets.

Normally, I’d smoke during downtime like this, but since I quit, there’s nothing to do.

Just watching people pass by.

At some point, a woman hesitantly approached me, so I humored her briefly before ignoring her.

Talking to someone alone? And with looks like that? Definitely a cult recruiter.

Guess these things still exist, even ten years later.

Rubbing the back of my neck as I watched her walk away,

I sensed cautious footsteps approaching and glanced back.

“…”

“Ah, Sua.”

“…”

“You came out faster than I thought. Expected you to take longer.”

As expected, it was her.

Han Sua, in the same plain clothes I’d seen in paparazzi shots, walking toward me.

A soft-looking pink knit zip-up,

loose gray sweatpants that probably cost barely over 10,000 won,

but with her looks, even that looks cute…

…Though, since she’s covered up to her neck, the outline of her breasts under the knit stands out even more.

Telling her “Your tits are fucking hot” wouldn’t leave a good impression, so instead, I met her eyes and spoke.

“The thing you wanted to talk about—can we do it here?”

“…Ah, well…”

“If needed, there’s a café around the corner.”

“…”

A few passersby, but it’s quiet enough.

Not ideal for outright sex talk, but whispering should be fine.

Either way, I know she’s about to say something like “I want to have sex.”

Just a matter of hearing it quickly or dragging it out.

Smirking, I waited for her answer—

Then, after gulping, she spoke carefully.

“…Teacher. I…”

“Yeah.”

Now that I look, her voice is slightly hoarse.

And… she kinda smells lewd.

Before I could dwell on it, she continued.

“I… I want to stop…!”

“…”

“…being sex partners.”

“…”

That was it.

No follow-up.

With a quick bow, Han Sua immediately fled back into the building.

Leaving me standing there, not fully processing her words.

Beep beep beep.