episode_0141

Throughout our trip to the mart, we were unusually quiet compared to our usual selves.

Siwoo, having seen a side of me that I didn’t want to show, was passive, and I was passive because I was afraid of making a mistake.

I thought everything would be fine if we understood each other well. That was my naive misconception of relationships.

When a couple in the midst of love is getting to know each other well, it’s good, but knowing too much can have the opposite effect. It wasn’t until our 100th day of dating that I realized this.

Yes, it was entirely my fault.

I should have pretended not to know. Instead, I thoughtlessly blabbered on, thinking I understood Siwoo’s situation without him saying a word.

I need to be more careful with my words. I should also develop the habit of waiting for Siwoo to organize his thoughts before speaking.

Even if we may have originated from the same being, we are different people now.

There are clearly areas that we need to understand.

I must not forget that.

Even though our hands used to be tightly intertwined despite the heat, it’s been a while since they’ve been in our own pockets.

It felt awkward. Not holding Siwoo’s hand made me feel unnecessarily anxious.

As someone who knew of his death three years in the future, I couldn’t help it. I was always at ease when he was by my side, but even a little distance made me uneasy.

Since we couldn’t be together every day, I had to compromise in my heart.

“So, what are we making?”

Once we passed through the air curtain at the entrance of the mart, Siwoo spoke to me for the first time since leaving the house.

“Pork.”

“Pork? Sounds good.”

At least Siwoo’s taste hadn’t changed, so I didn’t have to worry too much about this part.

If I paid more attention to the small details in our relationship, there wouldn’t be any discord between us.

I need to be careful. Otherwise, I’ll end up breaking another pot for Aclert.

I picked up thinly sliced pork shoulder from the meat section and added various vegetables to the basket to stir-fry with the pork sauce.

Although there are plenty of products for single households these days, I had to consider a larger portion due to price comparisons.

After all, isn’t stir-fried pork easy to make and store in the fridge for later?

I decided to make enough to bring happiness to Siwoo for a few days.

After filling the basket with enough ingredients, I paid for them, bought some snacks and drinks, and headed back home.

It had been a while since I had time to cook.

“Can I just watch?”

Siwoo, recalling the seaweed soup incident, hovered nervously beside me as I started preparing the vegetables.

I felt even more anxious as he wandered around. He might end up cutting my finger.

“It’s okay, just stand still or lie down and rest.”

“I… I’m just so anxious.”

“I won’t make the same mistake again! I read the recipe carefully this time! I even watched a video!”

Despite my attempts to reassure him, Siwoo’s expression didn’t relax. He continued to watch me as if I were a child left alone by the riverside.

Well then, I’ll have to show off my knife skills.

Even if my body has changed, my skill in handling knives remains the same.

Although Aclert exists as a separate entity, her talent in swordsmanship that she left behind also lives within me.

No matter what vegetable it is, maintaining its original shape in front of me is impossible.

Chop chop chop.

As the cheerful sound of the knife and cutting board clashing continued in a steady rhythm, Siwoo, who had been watching, began to move busily at my side.

I saw him preparing something and noticed a large candle and a lighter that had rarely been used for emergencies.

Click. The sound of the lighter igniting the candle echoed.

As the hood turned on, the small candle flickered gently.

“Hmm. I realized I had forgotten about it.”

“I’m not sure if it will be helpful.”

“It probably will.”

Living alone and hardly cooking, I came up with a strategy to prevent onion tears, even though I had never tried it before.

I first laid out onions sliced to a good size for stir-frying on the pan, then added an appropriate amount of green onions and a little bit of green chili next to them.

As if Siwoo had been waiting, he carefully placed the thawed pork on top without clumping it together.

Our eyes were red with preparation.

Of course, being quite sensitive to this kind of thing, my eyes were much redder and tears flowed freely.

“I knew this would happen.”

“Uhhhh….”

“Does it hurt your eyes?”

“It does, but I can bear it. Is it the power of the 초?”

“It would be better to use a gas stove, but we can’t do that with an induction stove.”

I laughed as I looked at the candles that helped protect our eyes.

“This is unexpected. Even the candles we were going to use in case of a power outage have found a new purpose and seem to be happy about it.”

“Come here. Let me wipe away your tears.”

“Thank you.”

Siwoo gently dabbed my eyes with the tissue he brought.

Although my eyes still stung, it wasn’t unbearable.

I covered the pan with a lid and turned up the heat.

We had to wait for about 5 minutes.

During that time, I brought up the things I couldn’t say earlier because I was being cautious.

“I’m sorry for being so clueless earlier.”

“…… No need to apologize.”

“But, it seems like I didn’t consider your feelings at all as a boyfriend.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Still, I felt uncomfortable, so I had to address it and move on.”

Siwoo felt quite relieved as we went grocery shopping together and drank the small coffee we bought at the mart.

That’s why he didn’t really want my apology.

“Don’t apologize. That’s part of your charm too.”

The flames of anger in my heart blazed fiercely.

Honestly, Siwoo, who was so clueless, shouldn’t have said that.

That’s why my heart raced even more.

“Of course. It was a bit much to be so casual.”

“I’m sorry….”

“No. It’s okay. You mentioned it as if you were guessing what I did, saying something about my wild nature.”

“What? In the end, it was all my fault.”

“It’s not about fault. It’s just that it was a bit… like that.”

“That’s what it is.”

“Anyway, don’t apologize.”

Siwoo burst into a hollow laugh as he remembered what happened earlier and looked at me.

“It was fun. Even that.”

Even such a ridiculous incident was a good experience for him. Siwoo said it was okay because he was with me.

The flames in the hearth blazed so fiercely that they seemed to pierce through the chimney.

Because you like it so much, I can’t stop.

I’m willing to do anything if it’s something my body enjoys when I’m with you.

I keep wanting to do more beautiful things….

That’s right. I started cooking out of the blue.

With a single-minded determination to give you a good experience.

I’ve experienced everything there is to experience while going out, but I’ve never cooked quietly in the same house, in the same kitchen.

“Should I make it more fun from now on?”

Siwoo was about to say it was good, but he swallowed the words stuck on the tip of his tongue.

“I hope it’s not as fun as this morning.”

“It won’t be. I told you. The morning was my mistake too.”

“… Okay.”

It was nice to see that he trusted me, as shown by his actions.

He knew that I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

That trust felt good.

I was happy that Siwoo was my boyfriend.

And Siwoo would be happy to have me as his girlfriend. Yes.

You can tell without asking.

“It’s time to relax now. You just have to stir-fry.”

“… Okay. I’ll be here watching.”

“Aren’t you bored? Watch some YouTube or something.”

Since stir-frying takes time, he said he would watch something fun while waiting.

He connected the Bluetooth speaker at home because he was afraid I might get bored, and played a piano piece.

The intro was so familiar to piano majors that it was almost boring.

But for ordinary people, it took about a minute before they exclaimed, “Ah, this song!” and started clapping their hands to the music.

It was Chopin’s Waltz, Op.64 No.2.

The original piece of the impromptu arrangement played during the second piano battle in that problematic movie that traps ordinary people in the trap of prestissimo.

The left hand played the waltz, while the right hand sang a mournful melody.

The melancholy of life felt in Chopin’s performance was fully captured. Following the waltz-like yet not quite waltz-like tones, my feet naturally stepped to the rhythm of 3/4 time.

As the short intro passed, a familiar section followed, with the rhythm of the pounding beat accelerating along with the intense emotions.

Although I was cooking, when I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them again, I found myself in mid-19th century Europe.

People dancing. And the melancholic Chopin in between.

The ballroom he described was a place where light and darkness coexisted.

The dominant minor chords throughout the piece made me question the deep sadness that had permeated the maestro’s soul.

Is your heart burning, maestro?

What has set your heart on fire so intensely?

Has something happened to the one you loved?

Or is it because the love you desired with someone hasn’t progressed as you wished?

I want to know your inner thoughts.

I want to know if I have understood correctly.

The interpretations so far have been a world of only two colors, black and white.

But now, it sounds different.

Perhaps because I have experienced love before—

“Hey. Hey!”

Siwoo, who had been standing quietly behind me, suddenly rushed over and lifted the frying pan from the induction stove.

Beep. The induction stove turned off.

Only then did I realize that the burning smell was not coming from the maestro’s heart.

It was the pork I had carelessly burned while enjoying the music.