episode_0141

“Sister…!”

Rosie opened her eyes in the hospital bed and jumped up, crying out for the person she missed.

“Unfortunately, she is not here.”

Raoul, who was peeling an apple absentmindedly, didn’t even glance at Rosie.

In the silence, only the unpleasant crunching sound of apples being peeled filled the room.

“It’s okay. Right now, I don’t have the right to put what you’re giving me in my mouth…”

“What are you talking about?”

Raoul picked up the apple he had peeled with a knife and put it in his mouth.

“I never said I cut it for you.”

“…..”

“You always have a big ego in many ways. You interpret everything in the world the way you want and push that interpretation. It’s a bad habit, really. ”

Raoul took a bite of the apple with his knife, then picked up a piece with his fork and handed it to Rosie.

“You weren’t eating alone, were you?”

“You pushed that interpretation forward before the other person could even say a word about eating. I didn’t even say that I would eat it alone.”

“That can’t be helped…”

“Yeah. I guess it couldn’t be helped. Given the context and actions of the current conversation, I can’t help but think that way.”

Raoul looked at Rosie with cold eyes that showed no emotion whatsoever.

Only after seeing herself reflected in those eyes did Rosie realize that she was the one who had colored his eyes this way.

The eyes that must have had at least a little bit of light in them have become so empty.

“But if you had listened to me until the end, or if you had talked to me even a little, then this wouldn’t have been necessary. This apology, and the apology you want to make.”

“…..”

“Leila… is to me…”

Raoul’s hands began to tremble.

His hands were shaking not from the will to fight, but from personal emotions.

“To me… Leila was the wind, the salt, the light… She was someone who could not be defined by such strange words. This world was little Leila, and she was the reason I fought.”

The voice was sadder than any sound in the world, but Raoul did not cry.

Because the tree, which was already withered and dying, was barely able to keep its one tear duct from bursting.

Still, the saltiness felt in that moist voice that was leaking out made it easy to guess the cause of the moisture.

“I loved you… but I had to kill you with my own hands. Because it was a curse. If I had left it alone, Leila would have suffered incomparably great damage… and I was afraid of killing you.”

Raoul, who had been drifting in a whirlpool of unknown emotions, lowered his head.

Seeing Raoul like that, Rosie couldn’t escape from her feeling of guilt.

Because the strong Raoul who had saved him and killed countless assassins with his bare hands was now hanging his head in a pitiful and pitiful manner.

“I can’t forget the feeling of that day… I want to cut off this hand… But if I cut off this hand, I wouldn’t be able to protect you… You… Liesel… Mother… That’s why I didn’t cut it…”

Raoul laid aside all dignity and formality and spoke of his suffering like a child.

Like a child who fell and got hurt and cried childishly about a scraped knee, he honestly and crudely revealed the wounds in his heart.

“They wanted to make me, the sinner who killed Leila, die without any honor… even with my own hand cut off… and at the same time… They wanted to give me peace for losing my loved one…”

“But this damn fate won’t even allow that… I have to keep crying these damn hands… I want to cry too… But the only thing I can cry is these hands that killed Leila…”

“I… I… just wanted to be… normally… happy…”

For the first time, Raoul revealed his innermost feelings, his raw, unfiltered desires.

“I wanted to be loved by my father and mother… I wanted to joke around with my younger sister without any restrictions or discomfort… I wanted to meet friends without any restrictions or discomfort… That’s all I wanted…”

“Why can’t I have that natural happiness that most commoners can enjoy?”

“Am I really not allowed to even take that for granted…? Is it because of my birth…?”

Not all of Raoul’s sorrow was Rosie’s fault.

It was an undeniable truth that it had set fire to the heart of a person who was already rotting inside.

“Raoul Bergé…”

“Tell me, Rosie Nevermore. Considering all the help I’ve given you so far, I can give you a simple answer.”

His eyes were empty, but his voice was not.

The atmosphere was dry, but the emotions that were swirling around were not.

The fire was hot, but the hearts of those who warmed themselves by it were not.

“Am I a human who deserves to be hated…? What did I do wrong…? My only sin is fighting for this empire…? If the demons ask me about the slaughter I committed on the battlefield, I will gladly accept it, but why does the empire hate me…? Am I a sinner who deserves to be treated like that…?”

Rose couldn’t give any answers.

If he were to say yes, he would die like this. And that wasn’t the right answer. Raoul had done nothing wrong enough to deserve all that hatred. The only people who could hold Raoul accountable were the blood relatives of the demons he had killed.

But I couldn’t deny it either. After all, I was the one who hated Raoul the most in the empire. I was the one who made him like this, and I was also the one who was the source of this question. I couldn’t deny it, as if I was escalating the situation and then backing out. As Kyle said, I couldn’t just change the relationship as I pleased.

“Raoul Bergé.”

But I couldn’t keep silent. That would be running away.

In a contradiction where no answer can be found, Rosie had to make a decision.

“It’s funny that I, the worst sinner, am saying this.”

Rose carefully lifted Raoul’s face and held it up.

So that you can turn your eyes away from the dark and gloomy floor.

“Don’t ask that question to a foolish fool. You already know the answer. The resentment you are feeling right now is the answer.”

“…….”

“I did something that was against the truth… I did something stupid, not just bad. If only I had talked a little, if only I had looked into it a little more, if only I had been a little more reasonable… I was the one who chose the worst ending, missing all those what-ifs.”

Tears began to flow from Rosie’s eyes.

“It’s not your fault.”

“……”

“It was our fault.”

“I.”

Raoul said, deliberately pushing Rosie away.

“I hate you.”

“Yes, hate me as much as you want. I will entrust my life and death… my fate… and my future life to you.”

If Raoul wanted to give up everything and commit suicide, he would do so.

If I was told to throw everything away and wander, I would pack my bags immediately.

He would do anything if it would atone for his sins even a little.

“… I’ll tell you that after I kill the Demon King… but.”

Raoul stood up and looked at Rosie with slightly colder eyes.

“You’re still stupid. You’re only saying things that Leila would hate if she saw you.”

“Yes…?”

What on earth was the wrong answer this time?

“I said I loved Leila. And now you said something that Leila would hate. Still… you’re just pushing your own interpretation.”

So Raoul turned his back and left.

“… Ahh.”

I felt miserable.

It was extremely miserable to be alone and receive such one-sided hatred.

Being pushed away for no apparent reason was extremely painful.

“Ahhhh….”

For a long time, Rosie began to sob alone.

An hour later.

Someone came to see Raoul, who was having a late meal alone.

“… failed.”

Kyle looked at Raoul, reporting his failure in a flat voice.

“Do as you wish, whether you kill me or let me live.”

“I didn’t know there would be two people entrusting it to me today. I don’t have the luxury of worrying about others when my own is unclear.”

“Yes…?”

“There is something like that. By the way, if it were you, torturing Rosie wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“… I wanted to do that.”

Kyle clicked his tongue with a discontented expression.

“But I didn’t want to see a scream coming from that face that looked exactly like Leila.”

“… Yeah. Me too. I didn’t want to see those words coming out of that face either. ”

“Yes….?”

Kyle couldn’t understand Raoul, who kept saying things he couldn’t understand.

“Anyway, I failed, so if you tell me to die, I’ll die.”

“I can’t ignore that statement.”

Raoul’s two hands, vibrating violently, struck Kyle’s jaw and temple.

“Oh my god!”

Kyle let out a single scream after being hit by Raul’s often used secret technique.

“You’re thinking of molesting my sister and running away to hell.”

“Didn’t Raul tell you to die if you fail…? He said he would spare you if you succeeded…”

“I’m not that terrible. I just meant to say that I’d give you a pain that would make death seem like a joke.”

“It’s even more horrible…”

“My sister is not someone who would be easily taken advantage of, and you are not someone who would unilaterally take advantage of a woman. I guess you had feelings for each other.”

“No, if you think about it, I’m older…”

“I guess that means they both had feelings for each other.”

Kyle sighed at the voice that seemed to have a little more weight to it, and had no choice but to sacrifice his ego.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Make my sister happy. Otherwise I will kill her again and again.”

Kyle began to hum to himself.

The Berger family are a bunch of bastards.