episode_0138

#138

When I opened my eyes, the space beside me was empty.

I distinctly remember her falling asleep next to me earlier.

I got up and instinctively checked my phone.

The call with Manager Jeon had ended. According to the log, we had talked for about six hours.

Well, she probably hung up on her own after finishing work.

“Sa-rang~.”

No response when I called her name.

She should’ve come running, calling me “Papa.” Where is she?

She had been teetering on the edge, unsure whether to cross over, but as of yesterday, I could tell she had fully crossed.

Maybe after sleeping with a few other guys, she realized my dick tasted better.

I fucked her hard and filled her up inside, so by now, she should be obsessed with me…

But she was nowhere to be found, no matter how much I searched the hotel.

The shower. The balcony.

Nowhere.

“…She even packed her things.”

The clothes and bag that had been on the floor—only Sa-rang’s were missing.

She left without a word.

No. Well, I guess that makes sense.

She’s an idol, after all. It’s entirely possible she had a schedule today and left early.

Still, she could’ve at least left a message. Kids these days have no sense of…

“Huh.”

When I saw the chat with Sa-rang on my phone, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

[Sa-rang] Papa, I’m sorry. Let’s not see each other anymore.

…What the fuck? What is this bitch doing?

*

We’re unusually strong in the mornings.

Because idols often wake up early at dawn to go to the salon or travel for schedules.

One of my biggest tasks used to be going to the dorm at dawn to wake the kids up.

So I’ve always been used to the morning air.

I’ve driven down roads with little traffic many times.

But today… it felt different from usual.

I glanced at Sa-rang sitting next to me.

“Wow… So this is what it feels like?”

“It’s just the passenger seat.”

“But it’s oppa’s car’s passenger seat? Of course it feels different.”

“…What are you talking about?”

“It’s where Harin unnie used to sit. Originally.”

“…….”

She wasn’t wrong.

When no other staff were around, the passenger seat was Harin’s spot.

Sa-rang smiled faintly as she said that.

“I finally get to sit here.”

“…You like it that much?”

“Yeah. It’s the seat next to you.”

Sa-rang placed her hand over my right hand, which was gripping the gearshift.

“…This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“…….”

Instead of looking at her, I kept my eyes on the road.

Honestly, I still didn’t really understand Sa-rang.

I didn’t know what her true feelings were.

Just a few hours ago, she had been in another man’s arms.

Everything about her was a mystery.

The only thing I knew for sure was that what Sa-rang had wanted all along was to be loved.

In other words, she had a love deficiency.

After working in this industry for so long, I’d gotten to know the kids’ family situations well. But nothing about Sa-rang’s home life seemed particularly problematic.

Maybe there was something hidden beneath the surface that had made her this way.

Or maybe it was just her nature.

She became an idol because she craved attention and love.

And now, I was the object of that desire.

“…I finally won.”

“…?”

“Against Harin unnie.”

“Ah…”

What was Harin to Sa-rang?

Probably a mix of love and hate.

A reliable, talented unnie, but also a rival in love.

To me too… she was a child of love and hate.

The girl who completely abandoned me and went to Park Dong-chul. The girl who even declared she’d get pregnant with his child.

Even now, whether at the broadcasting station or anywhere else… she must be with Park Dong-chul.

Just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.

I should’ve been happy that Harin was sleeping with another man.

But now… it just hurt.

So this is what it feels like to have your lover taken away.

This is what it really means to be “stolen.”

Only now was I experiencing it for the first time.

Sa-rang must have felt something similar.

Now, I could finally understand a little.

When you lose love, you have no choice but to cling to whoever fills that void.

Sa-rang had clung to Han Myung-soo.

And now, I was clinging to Sa-rang.

That was the nature of our relationship now.

“So… what are you going to do now, oppa?”

“Hm?”

“ .”

Even hearing that name made my chest ache now.

The idol group I had spent two years preparing and four years leading.

The group that held my dreams and ambitions.

I had tried everything to protect it.

But seeing how much the girls were suffering… I thought they’d endure and understand to some extent.

But I guess I was wrong.

Harin, who had offered her body for broadcast appearances, had completely defected to Park Dong-chul.

Eun-chae, who had worked so hard to land a single commercial, was reduced to licking men’s assholes.

Se-ah was completely addicted to dick.

And Sa-rang… was just left with scars.

She endured it all for me, because I asked her to.

But that didn’t erase the pain.

Yet Sa-rang still said she loved me.

Even after suffering because of me, she was happy like a child just hearing me say I loved her.

And all this time, I had abandoned a girl like this…

I regretted it.

I regretted every choice I had made.

If only I hadn’t gotten involved in this from the start.

If only I hadn’t been led by greed.

If only I had endured a little more hardship.

Things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

“Pushover oppa.”

“Yeah.”

“Sandwich. Egg mayo. Hold the pickles and olives.”

“You always eat the same thing.”

“It’s delicious, okay?”

“Eat some pickles and olives. Stop being picky.”

“No way~.”

Her stubborn personality was still the same.

But this was the real Sa-rang.

The Sa-rang before she was hurt by me, by people.

Seeing her return to her old self was a relief.

“Try it, oppa. Egg mayo. It’s so good.”

“You always give me just one bite, and it’s too rich for me.”

“Would you eat it if I added pickles?”

“Then sure.”

“Then, sandwich. Egg mayo. Hold the olives.”

“…….”

I looked at Sa-rang.

She had her legs up, hugging her knees, watching me.

“Just for today?”

Only then did I realize—this was how she had always looked at me.

Real love was right here.

*

“Well~. PD Park, so this is the business you were talking about?”

“Not bad, right?”

CEO Noh Bi-ah, who had been scanning the business proposal on the sofa, set it down and looked at PD Park Dong-chul sitting across from him.

“But this—it’s framed as a project transfer, but it’s really tampering, isn’t it?”

“Ah, come on. We still have to call it a project for appearances, right? The public’s sensitive about this stuff these days. Though I don’t know why they care about such trivial things.”

“Let’s see… So they’ll appear on ‘Queen of Idols Season 2’… and debut as a project group while completely shifting the blame to you, PD-nim…? Well, it’s not like there’s no precedent, so the public will probably buy it.”

“CEO Noh, you’re launching a new girl group, right? We’re just trying to help out. It’s been ages since the generational shift—you can’t keep clinging to third-gen girl groups forever. But with the seven-year contracts these days, you can’t just drop them either… A lot of agencies are struggling with this.”

“True. When I meet with agency CEOs, they all say the same thing. ‘These girls are flopping, but we can’t cancel their contracts… We have to keep them for four more years, and we won’t even break even.’ Stuff like that.”

“So… we’ll handle the ‘recycling.’ You just focus on your new girl group.”

“…And the new group will get frequent appearances on YBC, right?”

“Of course. I just saw the candidates—they’re good. We’ll push them hard on music shows and variety programs.”

“ … Well, I was hoping they’d just disband on their own, but this… There’s some use left in them, huh?”

“Haha. Everyone has their uses somewhere.”

“But what are you planning to do with these washed-up girls…?”

Noh Bi-ah asked, genuinely curious.

Park Dong-chul took a sip of his coffee and smirked.

“There are a lot of VIPs who love the ‘idol’ title. The demand is there, but the supply… not so much.”

“Aren’t there plenty of idols? The agencies’ trainees alone—”

“Ah, sure, those girls are young and pretty, but that’s not what the VIPs want.”

“Then…?”

“Fame.”

Park Dong-chul snorted with confidence.

“Not just any young, pretty idol… but active idols who are actually in the field.”

“Active?”

“Yes. The ones on TV, with tons of fans, the ones people admire… That’s the essence of an idol, isn’t it? That’s what they want.”

“I’m not sure I follow…”

“To put it simply, they want to eat the shining rice cake that others can’t have… That’s what I mean.”

Noh Bi-ah adjusted his glasses, as if catching on.

“Ohh… So that’s it.”

“So we gather girls who were once famous or at least known. A survival show where washed-up idols try to make a comeback… The narrative works, and it’s good for TV. But the core is giving them that ‘active idol’ feel by putting them on broadcast.”

“Well, idols taste best when you’re fucking them while their TV performances play in the background.”

“And these girls are desperate enough to do anything. In Season 1, there was one who licked piss off the floor. The VIPs passed on her because her face wasn’t great, though.”

“ might not be much, but their visuals are decent… The VIPs will like them.”

“They’re already has-beens… Might as well give them one last TV appearance while satisfying the VIPs’ needs. No loss for you, CEO Noh.”

After some thought, Noh Bi-ah nodded.

“Interesting plan.”

Noh Bi-ah and Park Dong-chul laughed together for a while.

Just another day in the entertainment industry.