episode_0134

#134

“……Why is Sarang there…….”

Ignoring my words, Han Myung-soo continued to smirk and catch his breath. After a while, as if he had finally calmed down, he spoke again.

“……She contacted me. Said she was struggling.” “…….” “You don’t even know how bad things have gotten for her, do you, Manager?”

I clenched my lips tightly. There was so much I wanted to say, but I couldn’t. Frustratingly, everything Han Myung-soo said was true.

Because I was too focused on Harin, I hadn’t been keeping track of how the other girls were doing…… I was a failure as a manager.

“How desperate must Sarang have been to call me?” “…….” “You know what, Manager? I don’t ask for much. I’m not demanding you turn them into world-class idols or even first-tier stars. Just steady activities and hard work—that’s all I wanted.” “…….” “But no matter how tough things get, you don’t just hand your idols over to other men. Is that what a manager does?” “……I—” “I know. I’m in no position to judge. But at least I don’t take advantage of them without any care or affection.” “…….”

I tried to speak but shut my mouth again. No matter how much Han Myung-soo criticized me, it didn’t change the fact that he was a hypocrite. He, too, had used Sarang’s vulnerability to get close to her. Close enough to…… sleep with her.

Han Myung-soo claimed it was all because he charmed her, but was that really 100% Sarang’s true feelings? Didn’t it occur to him that she might’ve just been grateful for his kindness in a desperate situation?

There was so much I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t. I might’ve if Sarang had been by my side. But she wasn’t. She was with Han Myung-soo.

“Manager, if this is how you’re going to be… if you’re just going to sell the girls for money, to squeeze more out of them… then quit.” “……What?” “Quit. As a manager.” “…….”

Fuck. My hands on the steering wheel trembled.

I know. I know I’m trash. I know I’m a failure who couldn’t even make one idol successful.

I know. I know all of it.

But I didn’t want to hear that from someone like Han Myung-soo.

“Sarang will be staying with me tonight.” “……What?” “I booked a room. She was crying and making a scene earlier, but now she’s passed out. I don’t know where her dorm is, and it’s too late to take her anywhere else, so I’ll look after her tonight.”

What the hell? Acting like some kind of saint.

“At the very least, you should know where your idol is, so I called to let you know.”

Talking like he’s some responsible adult covering for my incompetence.

“At least she’s better off with me than with you right now.”

No, she’s not. That’s not your real intention.

“I’ll contact you tomorrow when it’s convenient.”

I know Han Myung-soo’s true nature. I know that beneath this act of pure, selfless concern, he’s anything but.

There was no guarantee that nothing would happen to Sarang tonight……

The only reason he was acting like this now was probably because Sarang was right beside him.

Next to Sarang… pretending to care for her, pretending to scold me for her sake. Just to score points with her.

“……Tomorrow, you said?” “Yes. Tomorrow.” “…….”

I could tell instinctively. Tonight, Han Myung-soo would take advantage of Sarang again.

The thought alone made…… my pants tighten painfully, even though I didn’t want it to.

“……Understood.”

Click.

Before Han Myung-soo could say another word, I hung up. I set the phone down and started driving again.

Toward a place with no people. A dark place.

I sped in that direction.

*

“……He hung up?” “Yeah.”

Papa set his phone down and took a deep breath.

“Huu……”

His expression still looked angry. I was a little worried.

“Are you okay?” “No. I can’t calm down.” “I’m sorry. I should’ve been the one to call.” “You don’t need to talk to trash like that.” “…….”

Papa calling Oppa “trash”… Earlier, he’d even cursed at him.

This was the first time I’d seen Papa this angry.

He’d always been so gentle with me, so I thought he was just a soft-hearted person. But I guess he has this side too. Men are really hard to figure out.

Papa, Oppa… all of them.

“Are you feeling better now?” “Yeah… thanks to you, I’m a little better.”

I set down the drink Papa had bought for me. He said it was something like a calming herbal remedy—that it would help me feel better.

The choice was kinda old-fashioned, and the herbal taste wasn’t great… but it still felt nice knowing he cared enough to try.

Oppa… still doesn’t seem to care about me at all.

“Give me the bottle when you’re done.” “Okay. Thanks.”

I handed the empty bottle to Papa, who neatly tossed it in the trash. Then I flopped back onto the bed and burrowed under the covers.

“……It’s been a while since I came to a place like this with Papa.” “Last time it was a rundown place, but this one’s nice, right?” “Yeah. Even the bedsheets are different.” “I picked the best one I could find.” “Papa’s amazing. I just said I wanted to meet, and you got us a room like this right away.” “For Sarang, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.” “What’s with that?”

I knew it was just sweet talk to win me over. Logically, I understood that.

But it still made me happy.

Being comforted and helped like this… it felt good.

“Sarang.” “Yeah, Papa?” “In the end… it was because of him, wasn’t it?” “What do you mean?” “That…… thing you said you did.” “The sponsorship?”

Papa’s brow furrowed deeply at the word “sponsorship.” He clearly hated even hearing it.

“And the stuff with the other fans too.” “The photos you showed me earlier… and what happened after?” “Yeah. That too.” “Yeah… I did it all for Oppa.”

Papa bit his lip hard. He’s jealous. Cute.

I’ve only ever been the jealous one—I’ve never had someone jealous over me before. This is what it feels like.

Not bad. Actually, it’s kinda nice.

Thinking about it, isn’t it natural to be jealous?

If a girl sleeps with other guys, takes weird photos… of course you’d be mad.

But Oppa wasn’t like that.

“……So it was because of him after all.” “I’m sorry, Papa.”

It wasn’t exactly that he made me do it… more like I half-wanted to.

Not that I wanted to sleep with those men—I wanted something else.

Oppa likes watching women have sex with other men. He likes watching Harin unnie with other men too.

So I thought… if I showed him that side of me… Maybe I could win a little of his heart.

With that childish logic, I confessed to Oppa for the first time. I confessed… and promised to give him what he wanted.

I took photos with smelly, creepy otaku guys. I went to sponsors and even had group sex.

I thought if I did all that, Oppa would finally look at me. At the very least… I thought he’d get excited watching me.

I wanted to prove that I could do it too—just like Harin unnie. That I could do anything for Oppa.

But in the end… it was too much for me.

Sleeping with men I didn’t even like… was unbearably disgusting.

Of course, in front of the sponsors, I forced myself to smile and pretend to enjoy it.

But still, after all that effort… I thought he’d at least praise me. Tell me I did well.

That would’ve been enough. That’s all I needed.

But instead, Oppa left me behind and went somewhere alone with Harin unnie.

Where they went, just the two of them… honestly, it’s so obvious.

That’s when I realized. Ah. I really don’t have a chance, do I?

No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do to please Oppa… I’ll never get my turn.

The futility of it all made me cry all day.

I cried and cried until I was exhausted… and then Papa texted me.

He asked how my day was. If I was okay.

Those annoying check-in messages he always sent… for the first time, I was so grateful for them.

So I… met up with Papa. The moment I saw him, I hugged him and sobbed… and told him everything.

Papa got angry for me. He was jealous that I’d slept with other men for Oppa.

It felt… normal. Like the kind of relationship I’d always dreamed of. It was comforting.

“Sarang.” “Yeah?”

I looked up to see Papa had moved next to me. He set his phone down beside the bed and carefully sat beside me.

“I won’t ask… what exactly happened.” “Thanks, Papa.” “But……” “……?”

Papa’s face was red.

I had a pretty good idea what he wanted to say.

What should I do?

Well… honestly, I’d expected this the moment I followed him here.

“It’s okay, Papa.”

I pushed the covers aside and opened my arms to him.

“Do whatever you want with me.”

*

I parked in a secluded lot near a closed park. Turned off all the interior lights and leaned back in the seat, waiting.

Riiing.

The call I’d been waiting for finally came.

[Incoming Call – Sarang♡Forever]

I pressed answer and put in my earbuds.

I didn’t speak. Just waited.

After a moment, a whisper-like voice came through.

“…Do whatever you want with me, Papa.”

Listening to Sarang’s voice, I unzipped my pants.