episode_0132

.

With the words I wanted to say.

And the ones I shouldn’t have, carefully filtered out.

Sent.

“……”

I read over the Kakao message I’d sent to Lee Hayun one more time, then quietly sighed and flipped my phone face-down on the desk.

I’d been a little worried I might’ve made a mistake, but thankfully, nothing stood out as problematic.

And my excuse was reasonable enough.

It wasn’t like I went often, but PC bangs were places I occasionally visited alone to kill time when bored.

Besides, the sight of me gaming with Seo Woojin had only been special at first—now, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, right?

At this point, it was just… something mundane. Like boiling ramen for dinner.

Unless I suddenly sent a couple of suspicious messages out of nowhere, Hayu—

…No, unnie—would have a hard time noticing anything.

“……”

…Actually.

If I really twisted my words, she probably wouldn’t catch on even if I sent the most blatant text with my eyes closed.

But there’s no need to take such a risky gamble just to make a side dish that’ll last me a few weeks.

I’m not an idiot. Yeah.

Even if I just sat still, Woojin would keep making side dishes for me anyway…

“…Haaam…”

Break time.

The loud chatter nearby was grating, so I plugged my ears with earbuds and slumped over my desk.

Luckily, my seat was near the window.

Luckily, it was right after lunch, so even if drowsiness hit, it’d be natural.

Luckily, I’d spent all this time ignoring people who tried to befriend me.

Luckily, I was a self-imposed loner…

Even as I pretended to sleep with my face buried in my arms, no one cluelessly approached to bother me.

And thanks to that, I could lose myself in a single thought, surrounded by the soft scent of fabric softener.

“……”

Really.

Truly.

Is it…

Really okay for me to…

Be like this with unnie’s boyfriend…?

…Or something like that.

Just a trivial little worry.

132

Is This Really Okay?

It’s only now that I’ve started thinking about it, but—

Honestly.

All that nonsense I blurted out to unnie when she sneaked back home last night…

…Wasn’t that a bit too reckless?

The thought hit me belatedly.

Doing the math…

It took a full 18 hours after saying something weird to unnie for me to realize it.

The more I think about it, the more relieved I am. Seriously.

Lee Hayun—even when I suddenly asked her to let me watch them have sex, she just flusteredly stammered and let it slide without a fight, right?

If things had gone worst-case scenario,

even if it didn’t lead to her discovering my secret relationship with Woojin,

…she might’ve at least grown a little suspicious.

Phew…

Mistake. Big mistake.

I should’ve just pretended not to know anything last night,

then casually told unnie today, “I’m going to the PC bang with Woojin~” like I just did.

And then, coming home much later than her,

saying something like, “The game was fun~”

I got too ahead of myself.

…Ah.

Of course, hiding the fact that my legs had gone weak and shaky.

Yeah.

“…Damn it, Hayun, why’d you have to go and make such a hot voice… Tch.”

Grumbling under my breath, I buried my lips into the collar of my jacket pulled up to my chin and exhaled sharply.

Anyway, this is all Hayun’s fault for doing things that turned me on so much I couldn’t think straight.

Woojin’s a little to blame too, for calling me under the pretense of a check-up and then having sex for hours.

If Hayun’s ass getting pounded—thud, thud—by Woojin’s hips hadn’t sounded so damn hot…

If I hadn’t known exactly how it felt to be the one getting railed like that by Woojin…

If Hayun, reduced to nothing but a flesh onahole under Woojin, hadn’t spent four, five hours moaning cutely and calling him oppa…

“…Sigh.”

Not that I’d ever admit it out loud.

I know better.

No matter the reason, I was the one who couldn’t hold back and pulled the trigger.

But if I just owned up to it, wouldn’t that make me seem like a total pervert?

I mean, sure, while unnie was with Woojin, I listened to them having se…x on the phone and came so many times I lost count, so—

Okay, maybe I am somewhere in pervert territory.

But not a full-blown pervert.

“I’ll have to be more careful next time. No more reckless talk just because I’m turned on…”

Telling unnie outright, “You were out fucking your boyfriend until this late?”

That could still pass as just a clueless little sister. Fine.

But then telling her, “I’m worried, so let me watch you two have sex.”

Yeah. That definitely crossed a line.

Let’s never do that again.

I mean, unnie is kind of an idiot…

…which is true, but—

If I keep flaunting my tastes like this, it’s only a matter of time before I get caught, right?

I should only start being obvious once I’m sure unnie suspects something.

For now,

I’ll keep hiding it.

“…Why isn’t he here yet? …We’re running out of time.”

Tapping the ground with the toe of my sneaker, I checked my phone—it was already close to 6 PM, the time I’d promised to meet Woojin.

Weird.

Woojin isn’t the type to be late.

Is he nearby? Maybe he got lost?

Just as the thought crossed my mind, I turned my head toward the building wall and spotted a familiar face emerging from the crowd in the distance.

My first male friend.

And at the same time,

Unnie’s first boyfriend.

“……”

Before our eyes could meet and make things awkward, I gripped my phone and mindlessly tapped at the screen.

Opened a browser, saw a useless search history like “date outfits,” panicked and frantically closed it.

Checked Kakao even though I had no new messages, closed it.

Same with YouTube—opened, closed.

Just as a strand of white hair slipped from behind my ear and brushed against my cheek, a large shadow fell over me.

Like someone playfully mimicking the way I had my head ducked low.

No way some random passerby would suddenly do this, so…

Adjusting the black snapback on my head, I looked up to see a pair of eyes—bright and innocent—staring down at me, their owner bent at the waist with a grin.

…Honestly,

calling him sculpted might be a stretch, but—

He’s…

…kinda handsome when he smiles.

Too good to be left for Hayun alone.

“Hey. Jiyeon.”

“…What.”

“You saw me earlier. Why’d you pretend not to?”

“…What bullshit. I didn’t see you.”

“Really? Then… Oh. The place you said you’d wait in your text—it’s here?”

“…Yeah.”

“Why’s the building tucked in some alley? Hard to find.”

“……”

Is it because he’s tall?

Even hunched over like this, his eyes are level with mine.

…Giant bastard.

That means when unnie—who’s even shorter than me—gets close, her cheek barely reaches his shoulder.

About a 15… no, 20 cm difference.

Hmm.

Not sure if it’s a heart-fluttering height difference,

but it’s definitely a hot one.

Cute when she nuzzles his shoulder outside,

but what about in bed?

A curious height difference indeed.

“Still, the building’s cleaner than I expected for being in an alley.”

“What, do PC bangs have to be in crumbling buildings?”

“No, no. Just saying it’s nice. Why’re you so defensive?”

“……”

“Anyway, what were you looking at while waiting? YouTube?”

“Hey, asshole—don’t peek at my phone. …Pervert.”

“Pervert? If you were watching something weird in public, doesn’t that make you the pervert?”

“…Just don’t look, okay?”

Ugh.

This isn’t the flow I wanted.

Maybe it’s the habit of being rude to people for 20 years straight.

Instead of sweet, bright words like unnie, harsh ones just slipped out, and I bit my lip lightly.

At least over text, since he couldn’t see my face, it was fine, but…

No good. No good.

Gotta tone it down.

He got crazy turned on yesterday just because Hayun hesitantly called him oppa, right?

So instead of needlessly snapping, I should act soft and sweet like Hayun… girly…

…

…How the hell does she do that cringey stuff with a straight face?

Bleh.

“…Next time we have plans like this, come at least 10 minutes early.”

“It’s my first time here. Being a little late is expected. And I’m not even that late.”

“Showing up a little early is basic manners. Don’t you know that, dumbass? Do you do this with unnie on dates too?”

“Then how long have you been here?”

“…About 15 minutes.”

“15 minutes… That’s a long time to wait.”

“What’s so long about that? It’s basic, you fucking— …I mean, uh…”

In the end, soft and sweet was a pipe dream—I just ended up nagging at Woojin like usual and fiddled awkwardly with my snapback.

My stupid mouth that won’t change no matter how hard I try.

Woojin, who genuinely seems to think we’re just casually hanging out at a PC bang.

Because of that, instead of actually going inside, all I could think about was finding some way to derail things. My cheeks and ears burned at the thought.

After glaring at Woojin for a second, I yanked my snapback down low over my face and started walking ahead.

Forget bringing up yesterday and dragging him to a motel.

Forget acting cute and calling him oppa like lovesick Hayun.

Instead, while gaming, I’ll casually taunt him—”You can’t even game or fuck properly.”

And when he gets annoyed and snaps, I’ll give him a chance to prove himself…

…Yeah. This is better.

No need for me to force some cutesy act.

Huu…

“F-Follow me. It’s on the third floor.”

“Third floor… Oh, right. Do you come here often?”

“Not often. …Sometimes. When I’m bored at home.”

“Alone?”

“Well, yeah. Who else would I go with? Hayun? She… …Unnie doesn’t game. Says it makes her dizzy.”

“…Hmm.”

While adjusting my plan in real time, I heard Woojin sigh awkwardly behind me and glanced back.

What’s with that weird reaction?

He already knows I don’t have friends, so if he’s trying to tease me about it, I’ll just take it this time—

But why does it feel like he’s tiptoeing around me…?

…

…Ah.

Wait.

“Woojin. Were you just thinking about her? That… CZ girl.”

“…No?”

“No? What kind of answer is that? It’s written all over your face, so just spit it out. Goddammi—”

“…A little. Just a little. Happy?”

“……”

“You both like games, so… …I just wondered.”

“……”

“Why’re you staring? …Stop blocking the way and walk. You said third floor, right?”

Wait.

Is this what I think it is?

…Jealousy?

Ah. Now it makes sense.

That time he made me Discord call CZ while we had se…x.

When I said CZ’s photos looked just like him, and he visibly sulked.

All of that was jealousy…

…

…Can I use this?

To make Woojin act out even more?

“I don’t even know what she looks like—no, wait, I do now! But I don’t know where she lives, so how could we go together, you idiot!”

“It was just a thought. Just a thought.”

“Going to PC bangs together? As if—I’ve only ever gone alone! This is the first time I’m going with a guy, got it? Because I’m a friendless loser?”

“……”

“…Moron. Seriously…”

Now that I think about it, I’ve never gone with a girl either.

Whatever. Guys like this stuff, right?

First time with a girl. Being the one to take it… or whatever.

As proof, Woojin—standing two steps below me on the stairs—was making a dumbfounded face I’d never seen before.

…This—

If I play it right—

“Anyway, stop asking who I’ve gone to PC bangs with and just follow me.”

“…Got it.”

“Oh, you know how to pay at PC bangs, right?”

“Roughly.”

“Good. That’s a relief… Wait. Woojin, why’re you grinning? It’s creepy.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

“You are. I saw your dimples.”

“…Stop nitpicking and just go up. My legs hurt from all this walking.”

A motel.

Or—

Woojin’s place, where he fucked Hayun senseless yesterday.

If I can get there faster than expected…

I might just be able to

mark my territory.