episode_0128

128.

“Ah.”

When my stomach was pierced.

I thought to myself.

I’m going to die, I thought.

Well, it was only natural.

The middle of my abdomen was cleanly pierced.

Blood was gushing out from my stomach, and some of my internal organs were scattered around. There was no way I could survive.

The situation was so serious that I didn’t even feel much pain.

With such a severe injury, even with the help of a healer, I wouldn’t be able to escape death.

As I was preparing for death, my consciousness was fading away.

“Uh, ugh, h-hyuk, Jinhuk!”

The voice of a girl crying miserably echoed in my ears.

I struggled to open my eyes and when I shifted my gaze, I saw Soyeon’s face.

“Jinhuk! Jinhuk! Are you okay?!”

Soyeon, with her pretty face covered in tears, snot, and looking at me with concern.

Her tearful and pitiful appearance, looking at me with so much care, is still vivid in my memory.

She seemed to have been greatly shocked.

Of course, I expected her to be shocked, but I didn’t expect it to be this severe.

I wanted to say that I could come back to life by wearing a resurrection artifact, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

I couldn’t speak properly due to the severity of my condition and the fear of the unknown.

Fear.

Yes, fear.

As I was dying, I was afraid.

Afraid that I might not be able to come back to life.

I was afraid of saying that she could come back to life and then dragging her down even further, and I was somewhat scared of dying like this.

Death was a certainty.

Faced with imminent death, I could only become weaker, and my mind was filled with worries, fears, and thoughts about Soyeon.

I worried if Soyeon blamed herself too much, if she was going down the wrong path, if she would face a great disaster by seeking revenge. I was very worried.

Soyeon was the only person I could call family now.

So I hoped that Soyeon would be okay.

But the dead can’t do anything.

They can’t worry, advise, help, or do anything.

So please.

I hoped that when I opened my eyes next time, I could meet Soyeon again.

I hoped she would come back safely and wash away all my useless worries.

I hoped and hoped.

But.

When I finally opened my eyes…

“Hmm? What’s wrong, Jinhuk?”

“N-nothing.”

…Was it Soyeon from our kindergarten days welcoming me?

“What’s going on? How did this happen?”

I couldn’t understand the current situation at all.

Why was the Soyeon from my childhood suddenly looking at me with confusion?

Unable to suppress my confusion, I stared at Soyeon blankly for a while.

Her petite figure, smooth hair, delicate features, soft skin…

It was definitely the Soyeon from my childhood.

But why was she in front of me now? I couldn’t understand, I just couldn’t.

“Wait. My body is fine, right?”

I hadn’t noticed because I was in shock.

But now, I saw that there wasn’t a single scar on me.

There didn’t seem to be any aftereffects.

Was this a hallucination?

Even if a healing ability user helped me, it would be impossible, right?

“Where am I?”

I carefully looked around.

I was in a playground where children would play.

It was a playground that felt strangely familiar, so I pondered for a moment and suddenly realized that it was the playground where I used to play with Soyeon when we were young.

After waking up with my stomach pierced, I found myself standing in the playground where I used to play with Soyeon when we were young…

It was a realistically unbelievable situation.

Therefore, I realized.

I really had no choice but to realize.

“Could this be a hallucination, like a near-death experience?”

Near-death experience.

Why do people commonly say that?

Due to the imbalance of nerve hormones just before death, one can experience phenomena such as hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, lucid dreams, and so on.

Near-death experiences can manifest in various forms, but the most common one is meeting with loved ones.

For me right now, the loved ones would be my deceased parents and Soyeon.

I can’t know why they appeared in their childhood forms, but…

“If this is really like a near-death experience, am I really on the brink of death?”

Come to think of it, I vaguely remembered mentioning being taken to a healer.

The injury was so severe that it could have been fatal, but thanks to the healer, I was somehow still breathing.

But that wouldn’t last long either.

Healing such a serious wound is practically impossible.

Unless the resurrection artifact is activated to revive me, it would be impossible to meet the living Soyeon again.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

“….”

I raised my head at Soyeon’s words.

Young Soyeon was looking at me with a bright smile.

It was an innocent smile that didn’t ask for anything in return, so I could only stare blankly at Soyeon’s face for a moment.

Then Soyeon spoke.

“Jinhyuk, do you remember by any chance?”

“Remember what.”

I replied absentmindedly.

Since this is my hallucination or lucid dream, there was no need to talk to that Soyeon.

But I was slightly curious about what the Soyeon created by my subconscious would say.

“You saved me near this playground a long time ago~.”

“Oh.”

Come to think of it, that did happen.

“I almost got kidnapped by a strange man.”

“Mm.”

“You saved me, didn’t you?”

“It was lucky, just luck.”

Yes, it was luck.

The villain tried to kidnap Soyeon in a car, but unexpectedly, Soyeon resisted quite vigorously, and I also held onto the villain’s clothes tightly.

Thanks to that, the time was delayed more than necessary, and with the help of some adults who heard the commotion, we were able to escape unharmed.

“To be honest, I wonder if it would have been okay even if I wasn’t there at that time.”

Soyeon had quite good physical abilities since she was young, so even if she was alone at that time, she would have been able to hold out until other adults arrived.

“What are you talking about, Jinhyuk? That’s impossible.”

Soyeon shook her head from side to side.

“I was actually really scared at that time.”

Then she stared directly into my eyes.

“My mind went blank, and I was just trembling, unable to do anything.”

Soyeon’s golden eyes sparkled beautifully.

“You were shouting your heart out, trying your best to save me.”

She smiled brightly.

“Thanks to that, I was able to gather the courage as well.”

She firmly held my hand.

A warm sensation slowly emanated from my fingertips.

The sensation transmitted from my fingertips was softer than anything else.

“Come to think of it, you’ve been helping me since kindergarten.”

Soyeon, who held my hand a little tighter, looked at my face with clear eyes, then smiled brightly again.

“Like a hero. Yeah, Jinhuk, you’ve always been my hero.”

It was a fresh, youthful laughter that could only be felt from a girl of that age.

“So, I mean, Jinhuk, I like you.”

“Oh, um.”

“I really, really like Jinhuk.”

As if embarrassed, Soyeon touched her cheeks with her hands and giggled, glancing at me before blurting out a word.

“Jinhuk, do you dislike me?”

“…No.”

“Then do you like me?”

“….”

In response to the childlike binary question, I blinked my eyes but suddenly held back a bitter smile.

If I were to answer whether I like her or not, my response was already determined.

“I like you.”

Yes, I like her.

As a childhood friend and as my favorite.

But why did the conversation turn out like this?

I’m not sure, but well, I guess I should give an answer anyway.

“But why did you reject my confession?”

“Huh?”

What?

For a moment, Soyeon looked at me with a hint of tears in her eyes.

Rejection of confession? Is she talking about that time when we were drinking and you subtly expressed your feelings?

“Why did you reject my confession like that?”

“No, liking you was just as a friend….”

“Really?”

Soyeon cut me off sharply.

And then she stared at me blankly.

Soyeon’s eyes were questioning me.

Is what I said really true?

“Have you never once thought of me as more than just a friend?”

“….”

“Just liking me as a childhood friend, as a favorite, is that all?”

“….”

“Always saying you like me as a childhood friend, as a favorite, deliberately thinking of me in that way, it’s a defense mechanism. You don’t want to think of me as a romantic interest.”

“…You, no, forget it.”

I tried to say something, pursing my lips a few times, but eventually closed my mouth.

Certainly, before recalling memories of my past life, I had some feelings of liking Soyeon as a romantic interest.

But after recalling my past life, those feelings became somewhat blurry and I intentionally tried to suppress them as much as possible.

Because someone like me shouldn’t have such feelings for a protagonist like Soyeon.

Thinking that I would eventually be entangled with someone else, killing my feelings for Soyeon was the most sensible way I thought at the time.

“But why did you try to involve me with people like Siwoon and Daehan in the early days?”

“And you, why did you try to involve me with people like Siwoon and Daehan in the early days?”

“Well….”

The reason Soyeon tried to involve herself with Siwoon and Daehan in the early days of the academy was simple.

Soyeon is the female protagonist, and Siwoon and Daehan are the male protagonists.

Of course, I know that this world doesn’t just flow as simply as the contents of a game.

But it’s also an undeniable fact that many aspects of the game’s settings were reflected in reality.

“I thought they would suit you better than me.”

“In what way?”

“You know. Abilities, wealth, good background, although their personalities are a bit ambiguous, they’ll treat you as well as I do.”

Considering the original content, Siwoon and Daehan may not be the best connections, but there wasn’t much that went according to the original, and from what I’ve seen so far, they may not be good for others, but they would treat Soyeon well.

So as a friend, ally, colleague, I tried to involve Siwoon and Daehan with Soyeon.

“Above all, you dream of being the greatest hero.”

“So?”

The greatest hero.

It has been Soyeon’s long-standing dream since she was young.

If it were Soyeon, she could become the hero of her dreams.

And by the side of the greatest hero, there should be a person who matches him.

“They should be able to stand by your side.”

Different from me.

“I was able to help you with artifacts and original knowledge, but look at me now. This is how it turned out in the end.”

“……”

“Do you want someone like me lingering by your side until I die?”

“……”

Even if all the Rebellion members were safely arrested and they welcomed a happy ending, Soyeon’s life as a hero would continue.

As Soyeon grows into the strongest in the world, will I be able to survive the countless incidents and accidents she may face in the future?

And do I have the qualifications to stand by Soyeon?

In order to understand the subject, it is most important for a weakling like me to reach the level of the strongest in the world, like Ishiwoon and Kangdae.

Excluding artifacts, information about the future, and the original settings, what do I have? In a world teeming with villains and monsters, the most important thing is strength, power.

In that sense, I was endlessly weak.

No talent, no ability, nothing.

“So to them…”

“Lies.”

Soyeon pursed her small lips. Her quiet voice spread softly.

“It’s a lie, Jinhuk.”

“What?”

The smile that was there just a moment ago disappeared from her lips.

“The idea that Ishiwoon and Daehan will help me, that they will suit me better, that you being weak and by my side is burdensome, that being by my side is dangerous and unwanted, it’s all lies.”

Suddenly, a hint of sadness crept into her eyes.

“It’s all excuses and lies, Jinhuk.”

With a cloudy expression, Soyeon slowly raises her luck.

“You’re Jinhuk, just.”

Soyeon murmurs with a lonely voice.

“Am I not good enough?”

“No, what are you suddenly talking about?”

Soyeon’s random words furrowed his brow slightly. Not good enough? What does that mean?

“The actions you know about me… are they not good enough.”