episode_0128

(new)

When I saw my mother’s frozen expression, I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

It’s not that I had any other intentions.

The corners of my mouth literally went up, and a smile just escaped my lips, and that was it.

“… … .”

“Heh, heh heh… .”

It was also my laughter that broke the silence.

I just couldn’t stop laughing.

No, I can’t cry right now… so I just laughed.

“… Love.”

I don’t even recognize my son, and I stare at my mother, who is looking for love while looking at me.

“Yes.”

And I also answered, pretending to be in love.

“Have you been to the hospital?”

“… Yes.”

It was the 5th week.

When I think about it, it’s really strange.

Clearly, their menstrual cycles must have been quite different, but they got pregnant just a week apart.

I thought it might actually be even closer to reality.

“Love… .”

I was just thinking about random, meaningless things.

I look at my mother who is looking for me again.

“Oh my, you didn’t say anything until now… You were just suffering alone like that?”

Those were the warmest words.

Just saying those words warms my heart.

But that’s why I’m sharpening my blade this time too.

“… Huh, why.”

Even as I spoke, I felt like I was being too shameless.

“Why? What the heck! Where did the hospital go?”

“… Just nearby.”

Maybe that’s why, but my mom’s voice gets a little louder.

And then I was suddenly hit in the arm by a flying palm.

slap-!

“Ah, ahh… .”

“I hit you gently, don’t joke around. So, does our son know that too?”

“… … No.”

“Right? You didn’t know? Well, if you did, then you’re not a human being. I’ll just—”

“Oh, no! That, oh, oh… Oppa… is not at fault.”

I got hit once and my shoulders shrank for no reason.

And then Mom’s gentle expression from earlier disappeared.

The fact that it has become a little scary also played a part in this.

“Not my fault! I am me, but oh my… This goddamn bastard should have known! How can you say you didn’t know that until now? And it’s been 5 weeks already?”

My mother’s sharp eyes look me up and down.

And when he stares intently at my lower abdomen, my hand naturally blocks it.

“… I can’t live because of you guys, I can’t live.”

My mother taps her forehead several times, then starts spanking me again.

“And Shinsarang! If that was the case, you should have told me sooner! Were you planning to keep hiding it…?”

“Ah, that… yes.”

“I’m proud! I’m proud! Huh!?”

Snap! Snap! Snap!

“Ah, ahhh… It hurts… .”

“Then don’t hit me because it hurts! Do you think I’m giving you a massage right now!?”

I was beaten like that for quite some time.

It wasn’t terribly painful or anything, but it stung quite a bit, so it was a bit difficult to keep getting hit.

“Ah, ahh… Ah… Ah, ahhh… .”

“Does it hurt? Does it hurt now!?”

“Ugh… uh-huh, huh… .”

I thought I would get beaten more if I answered ‘yes’ eagerly, so I just took the beating in silence.

“Oh my, what should I do with these enemies… … .”

And then the beatings that had been going on ended.

Mom rubs her wrist and looks at me again.

“… … Are you going to give birth?”

“Ah, I, that’s… So, ah… .”

The simulation I had replayed hundreds of times in my head now made me shut my mouth as if it were broken.

There must have been family members who were against it, and I was thinking about running away from home, but when my mother asked me what I was going to do, I couldn’t even give a proper answer.

“… What, you didn’t even think about giving birth? You were just scared at a young age, so you just suffered alone? ”

“No… That, that’s right… .”

My mouth felt like it was drying up.

… Still, I clenched my fist.

And then I slowly pulled out the words that had been stuck in my chest.

“Ah, I, crow, crow… I, I… I’m gonna, I’m gonna have a baby… !!!”

The voice was too loud.

I was so surprised by my own voice that the back of my neck felt chills.

“… Shinsarang, you’re going to have a baby, but you’re speaking informally.”

“Yo… I’m going to give birth, yo… .”

“Ha!”

Mom gives a small smile as if she is amazed.

And then he crossed his arms and stared at me with his face pierced.

“Oh my!”

“Ah, ahh… .”

My body tilted back in surprise at my mother’s shouting.

dump-

And I don’t know how long it’s been, but I felt strangely relieved that it was the first time in a long time that I lay down comfortably.

“Ha! Are you going to sleep at least?”

My mother’s hand stretched out.

The hand grabbed my wrist.

“Ah… I want to sleep.”

Should I say that my stomach, which had been groaning, has gotten better? Anyway, I feel somewhat at ease.

“… Or something like that.”

“Ugh, uhh… .”

“Why are you surprised? Did I hit you?”

“Ah, hehe… .”

“Funny.”

My mother’s warm hands ran through my hair.

And then, not long after, I think I fell asleep really quickly.

*

(Shin A-reum)

I was very nervous.

And my gaze remained fixed on the room where Shindawoon and the aunt had entered.

“Sigh… .”

My legs start shaking and I start biting my fingernails, which I normally don’t bite.

I hesitate dozens of times whether I should just follow her into her room right now.

And after wiggling her hips a few times, she eventually sank back into the sofa.

“Sigh… … .”

I sigh again in frustration.

I closed and opened my eyes several times, feeling heavy, perhaps because they were dry.

However, my eyes were still so stiff that I had difficulty keeping them open.

“Sigh… .”

All that’s left is a sigh.

My chest feels even more stuffy.

“Ahh.”

At that moment, my fingertips felt tingly.

The fingernails that were biting are ripped sideways, tearing and lifting the skin.

A small drop of blood forms on top of it.

A tattered fingernail hangs down.

My sighs doubled at the feeling of being in such a miserable situation, and I take out a tissue and wipe the blood away.

And I looked at the protruding skin and thought about it.

Should I rip it off or not… I felt like it would bleed again if I did.

But, I was worried that it would be ugly to just leave it alone, so I was wondering if I should bring nail clippers.

Squeak— thud—

At that moment, the sound of the door opening and closing rang out.

My head naturally turns in that direction.

“… Oh, uh… Mom.”

“… … .”

The lady crossed her arms and stared at me.

Her lips moved a few times, but they never opened.

“… Is it love?”

“I’m tired. Go to sleep now.”

“Ah… That… Is it okay?”

“… He said he wasn’t feeling well. Just let him sleep.”

“Uh, yeah.”

The woman suddenly turned around.

And then he disappeared into the bedroom.

I was left alone in the living room again.

*

(new)

I had a deep sleep for the first time in a long time.

Looking at the clock, I didn’t sleep that long, but I didn’t feel refreshed or irritated at all.

“Huh, huh-huh… .”

And then I remembered what had happened just before I went to bed.

At first I thought, “Oh no,” but then I thought, “Let it be.”

“Ahh… I don’t know, I don’t know either… .”

It was before my father got off work.

And then I think, how dare you still sleep?

Clearly, if there was chaos in the house, it would have been overturned long ago, but the whole house was extremely quiet.

Squeak—

I opened the door because I was thirsty.

And as I go to the kitchen, I see Arami sitting alone in the dark living room.

“… … .”

It was quiet.

It was so quiet, as if he was asleep.

I walk slowly, very slowly, into the kitchen.

“Goddamn!”

“Ah, ahh… .”

I clearly had my eyes closed, but I must have thought I was sleeping.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Talk to me.”

“… Why.”

The gaze that scans me is not ordinary.

“Okay, let’s talk.”

He comes towards me with brisk strides.

And then he grabs my wrist.

“Ahh… I’m going to drink some water. And since it hurts, let me put this down… .”

The wrist that was caught felt tingly.

My face naturally frowned.

“Ah… Sorry.”

Just like before, and just like now, it seems like you don’t know your own strength.

“Gulp, gulp… huh… .”

The cool water went down my throat.

I feel like my mind, which hadn’t awakened yet, has suddenly awakened.

“… Okay?”

“Oh, wait a minute.”

I carefully placed the cup I had used in the sink, but Arami followed me there as well.

“… Me, the bathroom.”

“Oh, let’s go together.”

“… What should we go together?”

“What are you embarrassed about? Go.”

And this time I take the lead, arm in arm.

But somehow, the way his arm was wrapped around my shoulder gave the impression that he was supporting me.

“… What are you doing, over and over.”

“Ah, let’s go.”

“… … .”

For a while, I felt like the hand of that tall, beautiful woman was weighing down my shoulder.

“Sigh… .”

“… Why the sigh.”

“Heavy, arms.”

“Ah… Okay?”

And it’s a little more comfortable for your arms to float slightly in the air.

“… No, just… Ah, okay. Let go now.”

Before I knew it, I was in front of the bathroom.

“… Why, again.”

“Go in.”

“No… So, why are you following me?”

“… … .”

There was no answer, but he pushed my back and followed me into the bathroom.

“… What are you really doing?”

“Write.”

“… Are you crazy?”

“Me? Not me… ?”

He had an expression on his face like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

And he even gestures for me to use the bathroom quickly.

“Ah… Get out.”

“… Just write it. Are you embarrassed?”

“Huh… It’s not embarrassing right now.”

“Oh, I said it’s okay. It’s not like we can’t see things like this.”

Ignoring my words that it was okay, Arami finally pulled down my pants and panties.

“Sigh… .”

“I don’t think there is any, so write comfortably.”

“This is driving me crazy… .”

No matter how I looked at it, it was sincere.

Arami makes me sit down on the toilet again and stares at me.