episode_0127

Lately, should I say I’ve been feeling good?

Thinking about it the other way, there was absolutely nothing bad to consider.

Sitting alone on my bed at night, I spent several moments in serious contemplation, but it was certainly not a bad position to be in.

My children had grown up and were making a name for themselves in the world, following their father. From a parent’s perspective, there was nothing to be disappointed about.

After marrying into the Hwaryeong family, there was still a certain framework of a family. The years had flown by so quickly that the memories were hazy, but I still remembered eating together at one table until our youngest, Soeun, turned eight and just started elementary school.

However, after that, they went their separate ways due to their intensely uncontrollable individuality. Whether it was a rebellion against my parenting style, which tried to unite them somehow, or perhaps my influence was weak due to my personality, as soon as they became adults, the children flew away like birds from a cage, trying to escape my grasp in any way they could.

With my husband also having passed away in this situation, there was no longer a central force to keep the children together by force. They immediately fought over the inheritance as if to soothe their resentment towards each other, and my heart was torn into a thousand pieces.

Sometimes, I grew so sick and tired of these daily routines that a desire to just give up everything and leave surged within me.

When I was thinking of giving up entirely, it was my third child, Doyeon, who appeared like a savior.

Unlike my daughters, who had all gone their separate ways, my seemingly good-for-nothing son was still near me. As always, he was a troublemaker who only caused accidents, and that always upset me, but from a certain point, Doyeon gradually changed.

The only son of the Hwaryeong family, who was deeply engrossed in alcohol and women. My most troublesome child, who wouldn’t even listen to a word I said, was now standing by my side, comforting and consoling me.

Doyeon even showed off his abilities with satisfying clarity. Although he inherited the least amount of assets, he defiantly protected his share that his sisters coveted and even expanded his wealth through investments. Because of this, he was kept in check by his sisters and was even forced to separate his company so he couldn’t use the name , but after leaving, he succeeded even more conspicuously.

When the incident occurred, I couldn’t do anything for him, but instead, as if it was a good thing, he used it as a stepping stone to spread his wings wider and fly towards the sky.

It was so bizarre that it made me wonder if he had intentionally hidden his abilities until now. I had spent half my life raising my family, and I didn’t know much about economics and management, as I had no interest in them, but according to experts, there was no other flowery language to add beyond saying he “worked magic.”

Even this much was a shock, like being hit on the head, but every time I heard news about my son, it was a continuous surprise.

『How have you been, Mom?』

Moreover, as time passed, even my daughters, who used to constantly fight with each other, gathered around Doyeon. I don’t know what method he used, but even Hwaryeon, that embodiment of pride, came to visit me with him, and later, Soeun even showed her face separately.

『It’s been a long time since we went out, Mom, right?♡』

Soyeon returned to exactly how she was before she went to the Philippines. She even acted cute towards me like when she was little, and it seemed her issues with her ex-husband were resolved somehow, as she now resides in Korea and lives quietly. Certainly, Doyeon’s influence must have played a part—a continuous series of astonishing changes.

Of course, the eldest, Seonmi, remained unchanged. She was always a cold and calculating child who only knew numbers and work, so I didn’t have high expectations, but these days, it seems she’s very conscious of Doyeon and is working herself even harder. I suppose she felt insecure about her position since Hwaryeon and Soeun sided with Doyeon. The value of the company that Doyeon established was already so formidable that it overshadowed the original name , so it seemed she was spurred on and pushed herself even harder.

Every time her photo appeared on her profile, her face looked tired from day to day; I just hoped she wouldn’t push herself to the point of harming her body.

Anyway, the current situation was like this. My relationships with my children were recovering, and even the eldest and third children were being praised for truly inheriting their businessman father’s blood.

As a mother, it should have been a situation where I could wholeheartedly support them in many ways, but,

「Can I visit today too?」

“…….”

I still felt uneasy. After checking Doyeon’s text message again saying he would visit, I felt somewhat troubled.

I had tried to find the reason for that unease so far, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know why, but for some reason, my heart was pounding and I felt nervous. A family that approached me comfortably like friends was the ideal picture and motto I desired, but no matter how hard I tried to come up with a reason why, nothing came to mind.

‘What on earth happened before…?’

These feelings had lingered since Doyeon visited with his younger sibling Chaewon some time ago. Only a blurry memory of being very drunk and in a daze, from alcohol that didn’t seem to wear off easily even after drinking, remained.

When I came to my senses, my body felt strangely stiff and achy. The blankets were drenched in sweat, but my mind was clear and I felt refreshed.

There was definitely something. I just couldn’t quite remember what that something was.

Tick-tock…

“Huuuh…”

A shaky sigh escaped me in the hotel VIP room where we always met. Why meeting my son made me tremble, or why he felt less and less like the Doyeon I knew and more like a different person… I no longer knew.

*

“Are you worried about something?”

“Huh…… Huh?!”

While I was zoning out, lost in thought, a greeting reached my ears. When I came to my senses, my son had already arrived.

He had already finished ordering, and the late-night meal we would share had arrived; he was cutting a steak, but when Doyeon asked with a worried tone, I vigorously shook my head left and right.

“No, no, no, no…!”

“Are you really okay? Is there something wrong with your health…?”

“You! Don’t look at your mother, who isn’t even close to being half a century old, like a grandmother.”

I chastised him, not wanting him to notice my hidden worries. Wiping my lips lightly with a napkin, I quickly changed the subject, not wanting Doyeon to detect my awkward feelings.

“Well… anyway, your company seems busy these days, do you have time to stop by here?”

“The busy ones are those receiving orders below me.”

After skillfully cutting a piece of steak and chewing it once,

“The project is expected to be a long-term battle, so it will take some time, but if this works out well, I think I can rise in one go.”

“? Rise? What?”

“That promise I made to you, Mom. The true image of Hwaryeong, dominating Korea, which Dad wished for before he died.”

“!”

After hearing that, the question mark in my mind straightened out into an exclamation mark.

“I’ve almost done it. That promise to revive Hwaryeong, even though the name has changed, I wonder if I can achieve it soon. Because the market capitalization is already growing to an extent that others can’t even dream of.”

After hearing that, I remembered. It was probably a promise I heard from Doyeon about a year ago. That nonsense I had snorted at and ignored. I thought he was just bringing any woman and getting drunk, spouting empty words… but in just one year, my son had truly returned in glory.

Doyeon’s words and actions were no longer empty bravado, shouting out just anything. He wasn’t speaking of absurd dreams like Don Quixote, but was steadily pursuing his own path with a goal in mind.

“Yes, that’s right….”

I was proud of such a son. My son, who had come to his senses even belatedly, had somehow become my pride and joy.

Clink!

The sound of cutlery being put down, as my appetite was gone.

‘Huuuh….’

But still, this emptiness in a corner of my heart remained unfilled. As I had wished for all my life, my only son had come to his senses and family harmony had returned, so why did such emptiness wash over me again?

It felt itchy. Not where I wanted it to be, but somewhere far away, I was scratching with my fingernail. I thought I would be satisfied with family harmony, but my increasingly greedy heart and body desired something more.

“Hmm… are you sick somewhere?”

“No, I’m not… I just don’t have an appetite.”

“Your face looks a bit worn out, too. Do you sleep well at night?”

“Oh, that……”

To be honest, I toss and turn every night. By the time I organize my thoughts, it’s past 3 AM, and my eyes only close for a brief moment before opening again.

At that, Doyeon gazed intently at my face. Just as I was about to tell him not to worry too much,

“…Mom.”

“Huh?”

Click, click…

“If you have worries, would you like to try one of these?”

Saying that, Doyeon pulled out a small pill container from his inner pocket. He shook the long, round cylindrical container once and offered me a pill small enough to swallow without water.

“What is that?”

“Sleeping pills.”

“S-sleeping pills? ……Do you normally carry something like that?”

At that, my son shrugged as if it was nothing special,

“When you travel around a lot, sleep is important.”

“Taking too many pills won’t be good for your body….”

“Nah, do you think I take them every day? I’ve been especially sensitive lately, so I only take them occasionally when driving long distances in the car or on planes.”

“…….”

If Doyeon said so, it must be true. Because Doyeon, who had suddenly matured and was taking care of me, would have no reason to lie to me.

‘Sleeping pills….’

Come to think of it, I hadn’t really thought about medication. Although I didn’t particularly want to rely on drugs, the days of suffering from insomnia were long, and today, my chest felt stuffy while my head throbbed severely.

Gulp.

So I immediately put the pill my son offered into my mouth and swallowed it. Since I could just sleep in the hotel room instead of going home, I quickly took it.

“I’ll be relying on you for this. I’m tired, so could you take me to my VIP room?”

“Yes, I will.”

My son seemed a little excited for some reason. Anyway, we decided to leave the dining area.

Next,

***

‘……Huh?’

My eyes didn’t open. Only my consciousness briefly returned in the darkness behind my closed eyelids. I somehow found myself sleeping soundly on a soft bed. Even without opening my eyes, I could picture myself comfortably settled down.

I wondered if it was the effect of the medicine. In my drowsily returning consciousness, I thought, ‘The medicine is really strong,’ but then,

Smack, smooch… suck… suck♥

‘……!?’

Something stirred from the realistic sensation I felt beneath me. In my daze, I couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality, but it was an ambiguous sensation that made me wonder if this was… a dream.

It was here that I finally realized. I had finally found the identity of the itch that had bothered me for a long time.

‘Right… I had a dream like this when I met my younger sibling and son.’

One sense of déjà vu I had missed at the time. I had a strong, itchy feeling that I had missed something, and there was definitely a memory of doing something with my deceased husband after a long time.

One memory that was mixed together in the dream. Time enjoyed with my husband, soothing my hollow loneliness.

A sweet and good dream I had felt for a really long time.

‘Mmm, is it the medicine… it’s a dream but I feel… I feel good…♥ My body is clammy with sweat, and I really feel it…♥’

This was the part that had been lacking all this time. Not just peace of mind that chanted ‘family’ like a religion, but a more dirty and sordid emotion. As the wife of the Handae chairman, I wished for this feeling, which I couldn’t complain about to anyone, to be soothed.

“Ahhh…! More… do more♥ It feels good down there…♥”

As a woman, the pleasure of her entire body being intimately sullied. As a widow, a naughty imagination she couldn’t tell others about.

“Aang, aang…♥ Yes, Seongtaek-ssi, more there…♥”

This dream filled that. My husband appeared in the dream and soothed the loneliness deep within me.