episode_0122

The protagonist used to be a successful branch manager at a securities company. However, after the company sold bad bonds and faced a crisis, he ended up losing everything. Already sending his wife and son to study abroad in Australia, he had to endure the pain alone.

And now, just when he needed his family the most, a call from his wife came at this moment. It wasn’t a question asking if he could delay his planned return this week, but rather an announcement.

Struggling with his mental pain alone, the protagonist suddenly, while looking at a family photo, decides to leave everything behind and head to Australia where his family is.

And there, he encounters a shocking truth. A strange Australian man in the house where his wife and son live.

Yes, his wife was having an affair. The protagonist’s mental anguish in that moment was vividly conveyed beyond the screen.

-Sob!

A single blink in his teary eyes caused hot tears to stream down his cheeks.

-Pat, swish.

The author, Lee Young-woo, sitting beside him, quickly handed him a handkerchief.

“Sob!”

Without even questioning why he still carried a handkerchief in this day and age, he accepted it and wiped away the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Despite his efforts to wipe away the tears, they continued to flow.

-Sniff!! Sniff!

Before he knew it, tears and even snot were dripping onto the handkerchief he unintentionally grabbed.

Oh, I’m sorry about this.

Anyway, before his crying escalated, fortunately, the scene changed.

As the protagonist pondered over his wife and the reasons behind her choices, he found himself both understanding and regretting deeply. His emotional turmoil resonated with me even more as it felt like my own reflection.

Goose Dad. A term referring to fathers who sacrifice themselves for their children’s education by sending their families abroad and living alone in Korea for financial support.

To be honest, it could be said that they are the epitome of a father who dedicates himself to his family but receives no reciprocation.

Once a social issue that caused conflicts, now somewhat resolved with various solutions, there exists another Goose Dad of this era.

If the movie had only highlighted the victimized side of these fathers, I might have watched it more calmly. However, as the protagonist regretted every moment he spent apart from his family, his remorse was portrayed so poignantly that it shattered me.

“Sob, sniff!”

Despite desperately holding back tears due to the surrounding gazes, honestly, it wasn’t in my nature to hold back. In a situation that even made author Lee Young-woo flustered with my outpouring of sorrow, I couldn’t help but stand up and leave the theater.

“Sob, I’ll calm down and come back.”

With those words, I left immediately.

And outside the theater, near the emergency exit stairs.

“Sob! Sniff!”

Desperately trying to suppress my tears, the image of the protagonist from the movie kept lingering in my mind. His regret and remorse intertwined with my past, making his emotions of regret and remorse naturally resonate with me. The tears just wouldn’t stop flowing.

-Whimper! Whimper!

The phone had been ringing continuously.

It was author Lee Young-woo.

But with my eyes swollen from crying and my makeup smudged, I didn’t want to show my strange face, so I simply left a message saying, “I’m calming down. Please wait a bit,” and avoided the call.

And so, I was left alone, quietly trying to calm the tumultuous emotions and sadness within me.

-Click!

“Heuk, heuk! Ms. Doyeon!”

The door to the emergency exit stairs creaked open, and the lights flickered on. The stairs brightened up, revealing the figure that had just appeared – none other than the author Lee Youngwoo.

“Well, author?”

He had clearly been running around, his shirt soaked with sweat and his breathing heavy. But as he saw me, he walked towards me with a relieved expression.

– Plop.

He plopped down next to me.

“Haa, haa.”

Just looking at him, struggling to catch his breath, I could sense a faint unpleasant smell of sweat. But it didn’t feel uncomfortable, as it was a sign of his sincerity in coming to find me.

“Heek! Why… are you here? I was in the middle of something…”

“Haa, haa. I, I’m sorry.”

Strange.

Running around and sweating so much, struggling to catch his breath, and yet here he was, not scolding me or blaming me, but simply apologizing.

This… was odd.

“Heek… why are you apologizing?”

“Hak. W-well…”

He was truly a peculiar person. So kind to the point of being… strange.

“I’m sorry.”

“Haa, hoo. No, I’m more…”

And so, we went back and forth apologizing to each other for a while.

Then suddenly.

“Haha, hahaha.”

Author Lee Youngwoo let out a chuckle, finding something amusing.

“Phew, hahaha!”

I found myself laughing too, not even knowing what was so funny, as we looked at each other and started laughing like mad.

“Uh, D-Doyeon. What’s with that face?”

“What? What do you mean?”

I opened my phone and switched to selfie mode, revealing my messed-up makeup. Even though it looked like a disaster, it somehow seemed beautiful. Anyway, it was a funny sight.

“Phew! And what about you, author?”

His face was flushed, his hair disheveled. A stark contrast to his usual dapper and refined appearance.

I turned the phone towards him to show his face.

“Phew! It’s a mess.”

Another burst of laughter.

In the already echoey emergency exit, even the slightest sound would reverberate, making the laughter even more chaotic.

“Haa… it’s funny, isn’t it?”

He regained his composure and asked.

“Yes, phew.”

“Thank goodness.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“It feels genuine.”

And indeed, after laughing heartily for a while, all the sadness and worries from before seemed to disappear, leaving only laughter.

“Oh, I see.”

Even after trying to calm down for nearly 10 minutes on my own, it didn’t work. Having another person there made all the difference. Indeed, humans are social animals.

“Can I ask you something?”

He said to me.

“What is it?”

“It’s… strange, isn’t it? Getting so emotional over a scene that’s not even that sad. Well, not completely unrelated, but too immersed. The identification is too…”

He had mentioned the concept of identification before. It was one of the theories applied to movies, commonly referred to as immersion. It refers to the audience’s immersion in the characters. A vicarious experience where the character’s experiences feel like our own. He had told me that this was called identification.

In other words, why was I so immersed in the main character, the protagonist, the father crane? That’s what he was asking.

It was strange enough to think about.

A wandering husband. Divorce caused by him.

This was probably the extent of what he knew about the story of Jeong Doyeon.

Here, I hesitated.

Should I tell him? The fact that I was originally a man, not a woman?

I decided to consider him as a friend. If I truly believed that, then telling the truth would be the right thing to do.

But at the same time, I was afraid.

Will he still consider me a friend even after I reveal the truth? No, I don’t know if he even considers me a friend now.

But even if he knows that I am a man, will he not despise me?

Perhaps. He was the first friend I made after becoming a woman. He didn’t know I was a man named Jung Dohyun. So revealing my true identity to him will greatly influence my future actions.

If he comes to hate me for who I am.

I might find myself reluctant to make new friends and continue to isolate myself.

The people at work, they couldn’t hide the fact that I was hiding, and since they already knew my identity without me having to reveal it, I had no choice but to leave it to their judgment. But author Lee Youngwoo is a bit different.

At least I have two options: to tell him about my situation or not.

Whatever the outcome may be.

So what should I do? What is the right choice?

Of course, being honest is the ‘right’ choice. But no one can guarantee that the result will be what I want.

Just because you try hard doesn’t mean you’ll always be rewarded. Just because you live a good life doesn’t mean things will go well.

Making the right choice doesn’t always lead to the right outcome.

But the risks of not making the right choice are greater. That’s why I had to choose. Based on my judgment. Taking full responsibility for the choice I make.

“I, I…”