episode_0119

One month felt like a year.

Partly because it felt like a long month until the remaining half year to become an adult.

But in reality, it was for another reason.

Siwoo and I wandered around aimlessly.

To the point where blisters formed on our feet.

It felt like we had done everything we wanted to do in the month of July. Our range of activities was wide.

Siwoo was proactive and took the lead.

I don’t know if it was helpful that I said I would follow wherever he went. But at least he didn’t look to me for approval when making decisions.

And that was good.

Instead of hesitating, he clearly expressed his opinions, and he was prepared to persuade me with a “let’s do it together” rather than worrying about how I would react to his decisions.

Did he worry?

I did push him a bit, but he was very proactive.

He knew I wouldn’t refuse when he suggested going somewhere. And he knew I would say “okay” when he suggested doing something.

“This is really fun. Right?”

“Should we buy it?”

When we finished our trip to the aquarium, I couldn’t just ignore the stuffed Beluga. It was because of the commotion that happened in the dolphin tank.

“Never mind. This kid doesn’t like it.”

“You seemed to really like it, why?”

The only Beluga in the aquarium seemed to mistake me for a mermaid and kept following me around, making loud noises.

The loud noises attracted everyone’s attention. Someone even said the Beluga’s cry sounded like a canary. It was so loud that you would need fifty canaries to make the same noise.

He would only stop crying if I turned around to look at him, and even after I left, he continued to make noises, so the caretakers probably had a hard time.

“He wants to take it home. Should we take one with us?”

“….”

If I had to choose, I probably would have found him annoying. So I brought him home.

“Are you okay?”

“You’re the one to ask.”

The next place we headed to was a theme park.

There were only two theme parks near Seoul, so we visited both over two days.

Both of us were not fans of heights, but for some reason, we decided to ride every ride that day.

“I don’t think this will be okay.”

“I’m the one to ask.”

“This kid’s language skills are deteriorating.”

“It’s not like that…”

“You crazy.”

It was good to be brave. It was nice to be able to hold Siwoo’s hand tightly throughout the ride.

“Aaaahhh!!”

“Aaahhh!!”

After screaming our lungs out and coming down with our hair in disarray, I felt disappointed. I didn’t know this ride would be so scary, so it was too late to regret it.

As we paused before leaving, we looked at each other with relieved expressions and asked with our eyes.

Are we going to ride anything else?

“We decided to ride it.”

“…Okay.”

But we came all this way, it would be a shame not to ride anything.

Other people ride roller coasters together to feel the thrill. We held each other’s hands tightly to survive.

We realized that the boundary between life and death is not as far away as we thought after riding three different roller coasters.

Humans are easily killed and are weak and insignificant.

“I never want to ride again…”

“Agreed.”

“Are you feeling okay inside?”

“…Ugh.”

And I realized.

Siwoo’s stomach was weaker than mine.

“You weren’t okay.”

“Now I feel alive…”

“You didn’t even throw up on the roller coaster ride.”

“Wow. Just thinking about it is terrible.”

I said something ridiculous, but we both laughed so hard afterwards.

No matter what we said, we couldn’t help but laugh, how could we not find joy in that?

It was painful, yet enjoyable. Truly ironic.

I began to vaguely feel that maybe I was becoming addicted to Siwoo.

Without him, my days were dull.

With him, my days were fun.

Like turning a switch on and off, it felt like emotions were being ignited and extinguished.

It was astonishing how one person could change me like this.

And Siwoo felt the same way.

“Seeing each other every day could get boring. It feels strange when we don’t see each other.”

“…Yeah. Have we had a day recently where we didn’t see each other?”

“Not really. Almost.”

He said he was too busy to come. He might have had personal matters to attend to.

Siwoo never skipped our walks. He was confident that he could meet me if he came to see Strelka.

If he didn’t have any other plans, our walks would drag on. During the school break, he wanted to spend more time with me.

Understanding his feelings perfectly, and not wanting to let go of the relationship, our walks continued to stretch on.

Strelka became more excited as I played with her for a long time. She started to feel that a 30-minute walk was too short at some point. Look at her now.

— Bark!

“Let’s run more.”

“…Thanks to you, my stamina has really improved.”

“What about your knees? You should be able to pedal.”

“I still have my knees. I’m not in my forties.”

Siwoo energetically threw the ball towards Strelka running ahead, gesturing to me and started running towards the grass field.

Normally, I would have already been exhausted and lying on a bench, but now I followed Siwoo without any hesitation, getting used to this routine.

Fast yet not too fast, but the most memorable month of July in my life passed like that.

One day, leaving two weeks until August.

I visited the studio of Channel Larxissimo for the rehearsal of their hidden camera content.

“Welcome, sir. Have you practiced enough?”

“Yes. I practiced until last night.”

“You seem really confident…”

“But we still need to practice. It’s a showdown with the pros!”

How many times in one’s life would they have a showdown with a professional pianist? It would be few and far between.

It was like a situation where an amateur about to debut was facing off against a pro gamer 1:1. The amateur was given a champion to handle like a master to balance the game.

But I filled that balance with classical music. It was a situation where I had a significant advantage over the professional pianist.

“But Min Chaewon is no ordinary opponent. She won’t lose easily.”

It was just a coincidence, but I realized her true career the moment I understood it.

Why she was so capable of expressing her own color. Why she felt so out of reach like someone in an unreachable realm.

It was obvious.

While I might have been able to compare with her on the piano, when you added up the time she spent playing other instruments, Min Chaewon was an unbelievable senior to me.

She played like cherry blossoms in spring. And it was like the essence of music born from the memories and experiences of Min Chaewon that came every April, her birthday.

That’s why her arrangements sounded so beautiful. It felt like the goal I should aspire to.

From when I was 6 years old until I was 23. The black performance I had built up for 17 years felt like a drop of ink falling into the sea of performances that Min Chaewon, who was already in her twenties, had built up.

Spreading widely, she could darken the entire water, but it couldn’t affect her performance as a whole.

“Siwoo is a genius.”

And as Min Chaewon became more remarkable, Jung Siwoo became an even more remarkable person.

Despite his humble career compared to Min Chaewon’s unfolded and connected achievements. Siwoo began to regain his lost color with just a simple heart flutter and sweet tickle.

“I can’t lose either.”

As Jung Siwoo moves forward.

I, too, must lead him from the front so as not to fall behind.

Beyond just a senior in life, I have now become the senior in our musical career.

To me, who excludes everything that can block the way, Yoon Gwancheol is nothing more than a small hurdle.

Brushing aside minor obstacles, I will move forward. No one will hinder me and Siwoo’s path anymore.

“Oh, the pianist you’re facing has arrived. Shall I go greet them?”

I nodded and got up from my seat.

Who could it be? Who would have the audacity to claim to be my opponent.

It’s the first time I’ve confirmed who my opponent is in Daejeon, but as an amateur, I couldn’t help but feel more nervous and jittery.

It’s meaningless to pray for the weak to be caught.

The world of professionals is ruthless, and only the strong survive.

No matter who the performer is, they will have been recognized by the public and the industry as a better performer than me.

Come on in.

I will sincerely treat you—.

“Tada. I’m pianist Jo Jinyeol!”

Jo Jinyeol.

The senior of seniors who graduated from Hanyang University three years ago.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Jo Jinyeol.”

The role model I must surpass, who placed second in the 2020 Chopin Competition and will challenge the 2025 Chopin Competition.

He was right in front of me, with a warm smile as if anticipating our confrontation.

In a complex state of joy and bewilderment, I lost my composure and raised my voice while bowing deeply.

“Ah, ah… Hello—!!”