episode_0119

“Raoul Bergé.”

It was a clear and calm voice that didn’t match Camilla’s true personality.

“Do you remember the day we first met?”

“It’s natural to remember. A timid girl who was completely different from you now was trembling.”

“… I remember.”

“Of course.”

I can’t forget. How could I forget the day I first met you? It was the first time I met someone my age. And…

“I never forget the name or appearance of a flower.”

“What the heck is that…”

“I mean, I never forget what I thought was beautiful.”

“This innately boned little bastard…”

“What word is that?”

I don’t have a very wide vocabulary. Maybe that’s the reason why people around me point out my poor speaking skills. I may be sloppy with my word choices, but I’ve never made anyone feel uncomfortable.

“Sigh, that’s enough. Even if I explain it now, it’ll just ruin the mood…”

“The atmosphere…”

I don’t know for sure, but it was a scenery that made me feel something warm in my heart.

Standing on the ruined castle walls, watching the sun set beyond the horizon, I felt like my emotions had changed, even if only a little.

What if this country had not fallen? Would I have met Camilla? Would I have been a great candidate for royalty in this country? Or would I have existed before them?

It’s ironic. Something that was a disaster to someone else has made me who I am today.

“Isn’t it a beautiful sight? But it’s also a sad sight.”

I never thought I’d hear the word sad coming out of Camilla’s mouth. Even though I grew up seeing and hearing just about everything, this surprised me a little.

Camilla was a woman who suited the battlefield’s cries. I thought that timid girls of that time would have been killed in the evening, but I didn’t know that her emotional side was still shyly alive.

As expected, people are two-faced beings. I’m probably no different.

“The sunrise we are seeing now must have been a treasure to that king. We may think it is beautiful when we look outside the castle walls, but the king must have felt the beauty when he looked inside the castle walls.”

“I agree, but… are you Camilla?”

“I’m seriously going to kill you. I read books too.”

“I wonder if most of these books are related to war or hunting…”

“Damn, you know me too well. At the same time, it’s frustrating that you only know that side of me.”

“You always talk about things I don’t know much about.”

“So you don’t like it?”

“Wouldn’t it be better than just talking about things you already know? There’s nothing more boring than just talking about the same old stories.”

Camilla chuckled and started poking my cheek. In fact, I wanted her to stop touching me because my whole body was hurting, but surprisingly, her hands, which I thought would be indifferent, were incredibly gentle.

Was it because she thought of my pain? When I think about it, it’s always been like that. Leila sympathized with my pain, but Camilla was always the one to bandage my wounds.

Of course, it would be a shame to wrap both arms in bandages even though you hurt your little finger without knowing the exact location of the injury.

But still, he always called me an idiot and bandaged me up.

“Camilla.”

“… I haven’t even brought up the matter yet. If you refuse me already, I’ll kill you and I’ll die too.”

“No. That’s not it. I’m just declaring it.”

I didn’t want to turn away anymore. I didn’t want to turn away from those who stood up for me. That irresponsible act of turning away because they were too bright was no different from what my mother did to me.

The reason doesn’t matter. What matters is the irresponsible act of turning away.

If the King of Ghosts looked at the world through the eyes of a ghost while wearing a helmet, I too might have looked at the world with a similarly wrong perspective.

If the King of Ghosts rejected the world because he was blinded by hatred, then I too would have rejected the world because I was blinded by disappointment and frustration.

I too was a ghost. I too was not human.

So now I too will take off my helmet.

“I don’t plan on looking away anymore. I plan on rejecting and accepting everything while looking straight into your eyes.”

“It sounds like you’re going to kick me cruelly.”

“I can’t just say I’ll accept it without knowing what you’ll confess. You might say, “Let’s fight until we die.” ”

“That’s surprisingly not bad… No, no. I’m not here to talk about such trivial things today!”

Camilla, who was so angry, seemed cute somehow.

The appearance of the proud and cool Duke Youngae, the appearance of the tomboy who gets angry so honestly, and the appearance of the warrior who sweeps the battlefield and turns the plains into a sea of blood were all cute.

To begin with, he was a year younger than me. Even though he was a year younger than me, he tried to act like we were the same age, and I found that cute somehow.

“Raoul Bergé. My eternal friend and honorable comrade.”

“Camilla Argos. My eternal friend and trustworthy comrade.”

“I have something to tell you.”

“I have something I want to hear from you.”

Camilla took a step toward me.

“The day I first met you, you changed my life for the better.”

“You have kept me from going down the wrong path until today.”

“Actually, I think I liked you from that time. That indifferent way that changed my life without a care. I realized that feeling later, though.”

“Actually, I didn’t fall in love at first sight or anything. I just felt sorry that such a pretty girl like you was crying. But that feeling changed later.”

I also took a step towards Camilla.

“Raoul Bergé.”

“Camilla Argos.”

“I’ll confess here and now.”

“Let’s listen here now.”

Camilla took another step towards me.

“I like it. I liked it. And I will like it. At first, I gave up because Leila was by your side. Then I gave up because I felt sorry for Leila. But what’s important is you and me. It might sound selfish, but.”

And then she took another step closer. Was it me who approached her? Was it her who approached her? Was this moment so ecstatic that I didn’t even realize it?

I don’t know. But the moment I found out, I felt like this romance would disappear. Sometimes, not knowing the cause is more beautiful.

“Raoul. I am not Leila. I can’t be your perfect half. I can’t be a perfect one. I can only be an imperfect two. And yet I want to be intertwined with you.”

“……”

“Because balance isn’t always ideal. Sometimes, irregular and random things are more beautiful. No, let’s throw away those artistic things.”

“Camilla.”

“Hoooo…”

Camilla took a deep breath and shouted with a determined expression.

“Camila Argos loves Raoul Bergé!!!”

There was a loud noise, as if thunder and lightning were striking.

It was closer to a warrior’s confession than a confession that Yeong-ae would make, but this is how Camilla should be. A modest and formulaic confession doesn’t suit her.

Of course, I would have found even such a confession cute.

“… With a voice like this, you wouldn’t say something stupid like ‘What did you just say?’ right?”

He wouldn’t be so shameless as to reject the confession of a woman who had shown courage.

And now I was not going to live as a coward who turned a blind eye to such feelings.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Of course I was. When I held this hand, everything I felt was just scary.

The gazes of those around me, the sadness and anxiety I would feel, the anxiety that came with the fading away of life, all of it was scary.

But if I hadn’t taken this hand, I too would have died as a ghost.

As if the King of the Ghosts had forgiven the Empire.

I, too, intended to confront this feeling head on.

“Camilla Argos. The time I have is not long. The space I can fill is limited. It’s like a small display case that can’t hold much.”

“… Yeah.”

Camilla looked somewhat disappointed.

“If you just thoughtlessly shovel decorations into that display case, it will end up looking ugly.”

“……..”

“So I want to fill it with beautiful and valuable things.”

And I held her hand.

“With the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen.”

“….Yeah. No, wait a minute… What, what…?”

“It may be an unsightly display case, but please fill me with you. Decorate it so extravagantly that it hurts my eyes. A treasure chest filled with treasures without any thought will be so beautiful that it will overwhelm me.”

I decided to take courage.

I won’t be a ghost who sees dead people and comes back to life.

You won’t live trapped in a net.

Because he showed me those words. As if to tell me not to be like him.

I too will accept that teaching and live like a human being.

I will love people like people.

At first, the goal was just to breathe easy. Now, it’s different.

You will be so happy that it will be hard to breathe.

“I like Camilla Argos.”

Leila is dead. What has moved me so far is not love, but delusion. If I loved her, if I was truly her other half, then I too should live as if I had died following her.

There will be no more such delusions.

I am Raoul Bergé. I am a normal human being, not a ghost.

“…… Are we really dating like this…?”

“I guess so.”

“Then everything that happens from now on will happen by agreement…?”

“What the heck is that nonsense…”

I couldn’t make any more comments than that.

Because your thrilling, intense, and sweet lips have blocked my lips.

Our lips parted and the thunder and lightning inside us began to rumble.