episode_0119

Time flowed on again. A year had already passed, and it was January 6th.

Fosao went out early in the morning, and Tia, left alone, looked out the window. Today, the sky was unseasonably bright with sunlight, unlike winter.

Whoosh. When she opened the window, a gentle breeze flowed in.

A smile naturally formed.

It felt as if spring had arrived incredibly early.

Smiling broadly, Tia came to me.

“Ritsu! The weather is so warm today!”

She chattered on, speaking into my deeply sleeping ear.

“I feel like there will be good news. Hehe. I’m excited~.”

Until now, Tia had spent her days trembling with anxiety and cold.

As if telling her to rest comfortably today, the sky sent good weather as a gift.

Naturally, Tia, who loved going outside, was delighted.

Although she couldn’t leave Fosao’s house, just strolling around the yard for a bit seemed to make her happy.

As if welcoming a long-awaited guest.

For the first time in a while, she cleaned, did laundry, and even picked out dry grass.

She giggled as she told me stories about catching bugs.

That idle and peaceful day passed so quickly that every moment felt regrettable.

Already, the warm sun was setting, and the cold winter night was returning.

Tia sat blankly in front of the fireplace.

Just as she was dozing off, lulled by the warmth of the flames.

Clank. The general store’s door opened.

Fosao, who had left early that morning, had returned.

Tia stood up and greeted him warmly.

“Uncle, you’re back?”

“Ah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I also picked up some medicinal herbs and bought cooking ingredients.”

“Thank you. I’ll make good use of them.”

“Ah. Th-that… And this… Is this the ‘letter’ you mentioned before?”

Fosao pulled something out of his bulging pocket and showed it to her.

It was a bundle of paper sealed tightly with wax.

Her red eyes widened.

Although no name was written on the letter, its luxurious material, visible at a glance, revealed who had written and sent it.

The court physician.

A reply had come from that person.

“That’s right!”

Tia cried out, filled with joy.

She had a feeling good news would come today. So it was to receive this letter.

The overwhelmed girl bounced around, holding the letter.

“The reply came! Uncle!”

“Th-that’s right……”

“Ah… Aah…”

Her overwhelming joy soon turned into choked sobs.

This letter contained very precious words that would prove and repay all the hardships Tia had endured until now.

In Tia’s eyes, as she rushed towards me, was an indescribably complex emotion mixed with the feeling of “it’s over.”

That culmination, a mixture of happiness, sadness, liberation, and guilt… was all contained in a single glistening tear.

However, even those complex emotions would vanish the moment I awoke from my sleep.

There were still unresolved matters, and things Tia would undoubtedly have to apologize for.

At any rate, for her, at least my waking up was more important.

Because all this devotion… could never be achieved without desperate love.

Tia, with a sobbing voice, took my hand.

“Now I’ll wake you… Ritsu.”

Rip. Trembling fingers began to open the letter’s seal.

Fumbling, she untied the bound golden thread.

Slowly, with a sharp knife, she melted and cut away the hardened wax.

With a soft snap, the seal was finally broken.

Rustle. Tia unfolded the letter.

“Haaah—.”

For a moment, she held her breath.

Her hope-filled eyes began to read the tiny, finely written characters.

[I am sorry, but such a disease cannot be cured. I do not know what you want from me, nor do I wish to know, and I will not reply to you in the future. Deal with it yourself.]

The letter contained only two lines.

“……”

Tia flipped the letter over.

Nothing was written on the back.

She rubbed her tear-filled eyes and read the letter again.

It was the same.

In a hastily scrawled handwriting.

The court physician had crammed his anger into just two lines, rejecting her.

Not a mere rejection, but a very fierce and hateful one.

“……Huh?”

A short question, born of incomprehension, burst out.

Tia’s expression was covered in confusion.

The question “Why?” seemed to take precedence.

Had she said anything rude in the letter she sent? No. She had written a formal and respectful letter, as she had learned in Deseo.

Even if she had made a truly big mistake as a commoner who didn’t know aristocratic etiquette, the court physician was not someone who would get angry like this.

Because he was someone who had worked day and night to save Ritsu, a mere commoner boy, and had warmly comforted a grieving Tia.

But this reply contained a terrifyingly cold and unfeeling rejection.

As if he didn’t want to exchange even a single word. It was even sharp.

She wondered if it had been accidentally sent to someone else, but that wasn’t it either.

This neat and tidy handwriting was undeniably the court physician’s.

The content of the letter also spoke of a ‘disease.’

It wasn’t mixed up or anything like that.

Tia didn’t understand.

But I knew.

This ‘letter’ filled with rage was one sent to Fosao.

When Fosao was in Deseo, he had written a letter to the court physician, harassing him and provocatively demanding that his venereal disease be cured.

The angered court physician had sent such a reply.

That’s right.

Fosao had kept that letter hidden until now, and had just given it to Tia.

To prevent Tia from waking me up.

To completely crush the last hope Tia was desperately holding onto.

And to make the broken Tia his own.

He had… pushed this pitiful girl, standing on the edge of a cliff.

“Ah……”

Tia, holding the two-line letter, stood blankly for a moment before collapsing onto the floor.

She raised her head.

Reflected in her red eyes was my face, deeply asleep with eyes tightly closed, as if dead.

Tia… now had to admit it.

That there was no cure that could wake me.

“Aah…. Aah…. Ugh…”

With her legs giving out, Tia crawled over.

And then she clutched my face and wailed.

“Ritsu… Ritsu… I’m sorry……”

The girl’s desperate cries echoed through the general store.

“Ugh… Haaah… Ugh…”

It was a miserable cry, as if all hope had been lost, enough to take one’s breath away.

“Ti-Tia!”

Fosao entered.

The culprit of this wicked deed grabbed the crying Tia’s shoulder.

“Wh-what’s wrong…?”

Tia roughly shook off his hand.

In front of Fosao, who hesitated and recoiled.

Her desperate wails did not cease.

*** * ***

Tia’s lips began to crack.

Her apple-colored lips, once full of vitality, turned pale white, and the ends of her dry lips tore, forming scabs.

Her hair became frizzy, making it impossible to tie it to the left.

Dark shadows hung under her eyes, and her arms and wrists quickly thinned, becoming gaunt.

Tia… seemed to lack even the strength to hold the sword she so loved.

In fact, her muscles had disappeared long ago. It seemed she could no longer display her swordsmanship as she once did.

Her daily routine hadn’t changed.

She still made medicine, fed it to me, and managed the fireplace to maintain a suitable warmth.

During the remaining time, she would just crouch like this and watch me.

“I will… never give up….”

Even after hearing from the court physician that there was no cure, Tia didn’t give up.

She stood up with a firm resolve to find the method herself.

Clatter. Tia, opening the drawer, stopped abruptly.

The medicinal herbs were running out.

Tia went out to the living room.

“……Uncle.”

“Huh?”

“The medicinal herbs are running out.”

“Ah, i-is that so?”

“I need them.”

“……Alright. I’ll t-try to get them next time I go out.”

“When is ‘next time’?”

“Probably… the d-day after tomorrow?”

“No. I need them right now.”

“N-now? But there’s a d-deal the day after tomorrow… Couldn’t I get them then?”

“…Ritsu is suffering.”

There was no strength at all in Tia’s voice.

Perhaps because of that, every single word sounded even more ominous and chilling.

Fosao, terrified, flinched but grumbled in protest.

“But… Ti-Tia. I’ve been… a l-little bit down lately too. The medicinal herbs are too ex-expensive… I hadn’t said anything, but… I’ve spent all my m-money buying medicine. I can’t even buy food ingredients…”

“……”

“So, I’m r-really sorry to say this, but……”

The wretch spoke as if doing her a favor.

“Th-the court physician said there’s no answer… So maybe… you sh-should just… give up……”

“No!!”

A sharp voice burst out.

“I can… never do that.”

Tia drew a ragged breath.

Even shouting just now seemed to exhaust her.

“If there’s no money for food ingredients… I’ll starve. So please buy more medicinal herbs.”

“Wh-what are you saying, Tia! The living… must live! [a proverb meaning one must carry on living].”

“Without Ritsu, I might as well be dead.”

With even her remaining hope stripped away, Tia’s voice was filled with venom.

Fosao was afraid.

If she wouldn’t eat… did that mean she would starve to death?

Hearing such nonsense, it seemed he thought Tia might actually do it.

“I-I’ll go buy the medicinal herbs right now! Don’t starve yourself…”

Clank. As Fosao hurriedly left for the lower village, Tia leaned her exhausted body against the wall.

But soon after, she slid down and collapsed onto the floor.

She had said she wouldn’t eat, but in truth, she hadn’t eaten in a long time.

Tia took out the letter again and read it.

[I am sorry, but such a disease cannot be cured. I do not know what you want from me, nor do I wish to know, and I will not reply to you in the future. Deal with it yourself.]

Since receiving this letter, she hadn’t been able to put anything in her mouth.

Crumple! Tia frantically crumpled the letter in her grasp.

She crumpled and crushed it with such force that it became flat and almost invisible.

It was surprising that she still had such strength left.

“I will save him… I will definitely… save him.”

She gritted her teeth and chanted that vow to herself.

But Tia’s voice grew increasingly hollow.