episode_0119

What did mom do? You killed a child? Does that refer to something? Or is he just telling it like it is?

In fact, all we had to do was accept it as is and assume that Veronica’s family was crazy. But I couldn’t overcome my curiosity and asked again.

“… Uh, how.”

Goosebumps appear all over my body.

I felt like my whole body was screaming that if I asked any more questions, my mind might be eaten away.

Maybe that’s why it seemed like I couldn’t open my mouth.

“How did you kill him…? ?”

“I had a fight with my dad. I don’t know… I fight with my dad all the time, swearing that I will get rid of him. Then dad, tell me too. Delete it or not, it’s up to you.”

“Wait, wait.”

I felt like I was going to get nauseous. What are you talking about?

What novel? No, reality is actually more harsh than fiction. Yes, isn’t this a story you might see on the news?

So this is something that someone is going through in reality?

In the end, I couldn’t let go of my curiosity and asked again, and Veronica’s mouth opened again.

*

It’s inside the house. And it’s in the room. It was a small house to begin with, so there were only a few rooms, and with two people in it, it became a bit of an uncomfortable space.

Because I had a younger sister.

As I was looking at the trash piled up in one corner, the trash from the triangular kimbap I ate yesterday caught my eye. What day is today? As I looked at the computer screen where my only friends were, I realized that three days had already passed since the date written on the triangle gimbap.

“… … .”

Okay. Originally, I was well aware that the expiration date refers to the period during which a product can be sold to a small store and is different from the expiration date.

Growling. I was hungry. But now that I was used to that hunger, the pain I felt for the first time didn’t exist.

I knew that even if I looked through the trash can, there wouldn’t be any food left. If something came out, they even licked the plastic, so there’s no way there would be anything left.

So all I had to do was turn the screen back on and start the game to do this or that.

At the bottom right of the screen, a clock showing 11 p.m. caught my eye. By the looks of it, was it already night? I turned my head and looked at the window, and there was black tape wrapped around the window.

So, although I had no reason to look outside, the lack of light coming through the cracks made me confident that it was night.

If I put on the headset, I would be able to focus on the world I was in now.

As I stayed like that for a while, the voices of my mom and dad fighting hit my ears, as if they knew that since it was a small house with no soundproofing, if you made a loud voice there, they would be heard right away.

“No, fuck, are you cumming inside again? Are you crazy? That’s two lines, you son of a bitch! Didn’t I tell you to wear a condom?!”

“What the fuck, I can’t feel anything when I wear a condom. What should I do, you stupid bitch, if it’s two lines, just get the fuck out of there. Ah, I did it before, but I can’t do it again? If you had just taken the birth control pill in the first place, you wouldn’t have had to pay a lot of money to take it.”

We fight again today.

It happens sometimes. This was the first time we’ve had a fight over having a child.

I also think it’s scary. Actually, hearing a story like that sent a chill down my spine, and I had some really mixed thoughts.

What if it was me who was on that boat? Those fearful thoughts made my body tingle.

“Don’t be damned, I guess it’s because I don’t know that when I take birth control pills, it’s based on my mood and condition that day, but it doesn’t hurt like this in the first place… The real problem is that I live with you. Do it in moderation.”

“ Ha, there is no baby who goes and sucks as you eat as you can, but you are hungry, rather than infertility on the subject that you have earned money or a few times. It’s a good harvest. It’s a good harvest.”

After the baby was born, mom and dad’s emotions only soured over and over again, and after that, I repeatedly moaned without even being able to put on my headset properly.

“Even if you said it was okay and said you would pay outside and didn’t do it with no-contact, this shit wouldn’t have happened.”

“ Just promote it, bitch, and spread the word about it! Stop raising your voice. Fuck, having a baby is something to brag about? If you’re going to do that, why don’t you just suck dick and go around kicking your ass?”

“Yeah fuck! I’m so proud! ”

scary.

“Boasting is a piece of shit, don’t you remember that a kid died because you guys were so fucking bully? Do it in moderation, motherfucker, if even one of us dies, we’re screwed.”

“Then it should have been reasonably cheap.”

“The first time, you were late to realize it, and the second time, you said you were going to try being a mother for some reason, and then you were really mean.”

In the first place, the reason I received my mother’s love was because it was my younger sister, and I was the unwanted child.

In that conversation, the words ‘It was too late to realize it’ broke my heart.

I felt like I was in tears. Well, it wasn’t that I wanted her to act as a mother. I wasn’t even hoping for the warm family scene you see in the video.

Even if it was just an indifferent assumption, it would be nice, but revealing things I didn’t want to know just made me feel bitter.

I put on my headset. After that, I turned the volume up to the highest level.

I turned up the volume in the hope that my ears would just be ruined like this. The singing voice hurt my ears. They say that sound is originally made from vibrations in the air, or maybe it was because of that, but the headset I was wearing seemed to be buzzing irregularly, or rather, in rhythm.

How much did it cost? The door swung open.

After that, someone hit me hard on the head with a fist.

“You fucking bastard. Do it in moderation and just make money. Play the fucking song loud and be damned. Do you even know how much it costs to eat?”

It was my dad. Every time my dad says something to me, he hits my head painfully.

I thought about matching the beat, but since my head wasn’t a drum, all I could hear was a thud, thud, thud, not a pleasant sound.

“Hey, look at that fucking hair.”

After saying that, Dad shook his hands and immediately left a bowl behind.

Ah, today’s meal. I thought today was a day where I wouldn’t give anything, but I realized that I might have such a lucky day.

My head was pounding because I got hit so hard, but I thought I would recover after eating.

Having a bowl means that it is Bibimbap Day, where you mix the rice you have at home with the side dishes of vegetables you have in the refrigerator.

“Hehe… ”

Why does my nose bleed when I get hit on the head?

After wiping it roughly with my hand, I picked up the spoon with trembling hands and put it in my mouth.

“Oppa… I’m hungry.”

“Ah, are you awake? Sorry, you eat too.”

I could say that it was delicious because the taste of red pepper paste was very spicy. Actually, I don’t even want sesame oil. Even though it was dry, it felt good because it was the first filling meal I had in a long time.

I put a mouthful full of it in my mouth and handed the spoon to my younger brother, who also eagerly started scooping it up.

After eating quickly, I had to fill my quota of games my dad was playing.

Actually, I was busy. Can not help it. Since I said I had no money, I thought I should earn enough to eat.

Of course, I could make more money than that, but I thought that this money would be used to kill a child.

May you gobble down rice endlessly.

The fifth child, who was born at home and died, was good to the eyes.

Incidents that were not known to the world and thus did not become public knowledge.

If you say that a child is not needed in the first place, it will be buried in that way.

In fact, it was a sight I wouldn’t have had to see if I had just stayed in my room all the time, but it seemed like that wasn’t possible in human life.

One day, I decided to go to the bathroom, so I sneaked out of the room while my mom and dad were sleeping, and the black plastic bag with the small arm sticking out of it didn’t go away from my memory.

“… Oppa, eat quickly.”

“… … .”

“Oppa?”

“No, you eat a lot… I’m full… ”

“… Oppa, I’m scared,”

My younger brother, who is relatively less hated, spoke to me like that.

I smiled bitterly as I stroked my younger brother’s head.

“It’s okay. Listen to this at least.”

“… What about your brother?”

“It’s okay.”

“Can I just be like this?”

“Trigram, it’s okay. Because my brother can play games without hearing any sound.”

I didn’t want my younger brother to hear Mom and Dad fighting again, so I sat down in front of the chair and grabbed the keyboard and mouse.

“Oppa, is this fun?”

“… no. Let’s just finish it and play a fun game.”

“Yes!”

Crack, crack. The sound of keyboard tapping was dissonant with the sounds of fighting.

thank god. I don’t think my younger brother heard the previous story. I just thought I woke up when my dad came to hit me on the head.

“Oppa, are you really okay without making a sound?”

“You play games anyway… It’s okay.”

“He said it wasn’t fun.”

“No, if you’re subtle, it’s fun to chat with people here.”

“… Can you make noise?”

“Yes. Look here.”

I continued the conversation little by little with my younger brother wearing the headset.

It was fortunate. If I were alone, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it.