episode_0117

I once heard a saying that wasn’t quite a proverb.

『If you grill pork belly a thousand times, you’ll succeed in life!』

Naturally, it’s just a metaphor.

At first, I wondered what nonsense it was, but the meaning that saying tried to convey was nothing special.

“So~ it’s not about how many times you grill and flip the meat, but that the *occasion* is important. You idiot. If grilling meat led to success, then all the part-timers who grill meat would have succeeded by now, wouldn’t they? Right! So! The point isn’t that! It’s about opening your heart to your bosses, colleagues, and subordinates! Huh? Developing human relationships through deep conversation! Huh? Something… like that. Oh, you don’t have frie— Hey, hey~ put that down, why are you being scary? Ahem. Anyway, that’s not it. The meat is just an excuse, that’s the point.”

Advice that wasn’t quite advice from an acquaintance I used to work with.

He seemed to be reciting something he’d picked up somewhere, but at the time, I didn’t quite understand. I was too young then, and it was a time when I had no capacity to pay attention to my surroundings.

As time passed, I gradually came to understand the meaning of that saying, but by then, I had become so accustomed to spending time alone that it held little significance.

…Anyway.

In that sense, last night’s drinking session was an enjoyable and beneficial time.

It was a good time, even if thought of simply as a time for a change of pace.

It was meaningful, even if considered a venue for slightly serious conversations.

You could say we fully enjoyed the beneficial functions of drinking culture.

Delicious snacks and a moderate buzz had the power to soften hardened hearts. Coupled with a comfortable and gentle atmosphere, honest and candid conversations became possible.

When we spoke our hidden thoughts, they listened earnestly.

When we asked and answered about each other, they listened attentively, not dismissively.

Proper conversations soothed wounded hearts and became an opportunity to break down the walls that had unconsciously existed between us.

And the four people who had the drinking session became a little more comfortable with each other.

By the end, we were even swept up in a pledge to become sworn brothers.

It would have been perfect if we had ended it there on such a good note.

‘Such weak men.’

The three people, excluding me, just *thud*! fell asleep in that good atmosphere.

They had directly felt immense tension in their bodies, and the unconsciously accumulated fatigue, coupled with the alcohol, seemed to have overwhelmed them.

In the end, I dumped the three into Hyuk hyung’s room and cleaned everything up myself.

It was already dawn then, and now, after a short nap, I woke up.

“…That’s upsetting, Seonghan.”

“……”

“This Choi Deokman doesn’t miss out on drinks anywhere, you know…”

“It’s not that we did it on purpose…”

“What a shame…”

The dining room where everyone gathered for breakfast.

Because of the lingering smell of alcohol, our secret drinking session was exposed.

The grandfather, who was vehemently expressing his regret about being left out, seemed genuinely disappointed. He seemed like a true liquor connoisseur, still smacking his lips at the thought of alcohol even now while eating. And it seemed the same for everyone else.

You could tell from how both men and women’s eyes sparkled at the mention of alcohol.

The problem was that I was the only one bearing the brunt of those gazes.

‘…I feel like I’ve become the sole traitor.’

I smiled wryly, recalling the three people sprawled out in the room.

The two elders seemed to have resolved things well, their expressions noticeably brighter than yesterday.

No shadow was visible on the grandmother’s face.

It seemed grandfather had put in some effort overnight.

Understanding the grandfather’s efforts, I spoke lightly.

“Shall we all have a drink together this evening?”

“Really?!”

“It’s raining outside, and we don’t have any urgent tasks.”

As November drew to a close and the season shifted to winter, the rain continued relentlessly. It made me worry about how cold the coming winter would be.

Could it be evidence that the world has stopped and nature is recovering?

The dust-free, clean sky was pouring down rain unseasonably.

I wanted to avoid working in the rain if possible. Just in time, we had also finished clearing out all the supplies the thugs had hoarded.

It also made me think we could spend a few days leisurely right away.

The impact of a single, thoughtless remark, thrown out with that feeling, was enormous. So much so that the earlier thought of ‘why are they craving alcohol so much in the morning?’ became meaningless.

Even grandmother mumbled about what she should make as a snack.

Only after setting that promise could we eat.

I quietly emptied my rice bowl and looked around at the people.

‘They’ve improved a lot.’

Over the past few days, during which we had made round trips outside to get supplies, everyone’s condition had visibly improved quite a bit.

The companions who had suffered from body aches clearly seemed to have recovered completely.

Young-cheol seemed fine except for the injury on his head.

Byeongsu, who had suffered the most, was also recovering quickly. Seeing him eating a small amount at the table with us now, it doesn’t seem like it will take long until he fully recovers.

‘That’s a relief.’

At one point, I truly thought he might not make it, so it’s a relief he’s safe.

Certainly, a doctor’s strength and ability are necessary and precious.

And one cannot ignore the will to live and the care from those around them.

Without Bomi’s continued care, even at the dinner table, it’s questionable whether Byeongsu could have endured.

Thinking that, I emptied bowl after bowl of soup, bothering grandmother a little.

During the meal, I continued to observe the group.

Lieutenant Lee… no, Lee Sohee’s group also seemed to have no major problems.

Their significantly improved physical condition, indicating they were receiving appropriate treatment, was sending positive signals. Though the man with the injured side would have to be careful for a long time.

‘…Why does the child look even thinner?’

A problem appeared in an unexpected place.

The girl, Miri, seemed to have gotten thinner while I wasn’t paying attention.

No, she was definitely more emaciated.

Perhaps because of that, even now, leaning almost into her mother’s arms, she had no energy.

Having observed that, I approached the child’s mother after finishing my meal.

Although the people and the child’s mother looked puzzled, I casually brushed it off.

Seen up close, the child had no energy, like a listless puppy.

Looking at such a child, I carefully asked.

“Is your child sick?”

Perhaps my question was unexpected, the child’s mother blinked her eyes.

Soon recovering her composure, she answered in a small voice.

“Oh… she’s not sick.”

“……”

“Well, she hasn’t been eating well lately…”

At the worried words of the child’s mother, I looked for Dr. Jang.

Dr. Jang, who happened to be nearby, heard the situation and shook her head slightly.

“I don’t think it’s because she’s sick. It might be because she received a great mental shock…”

Even doctors aren’t omnipotent, after all.

She briefly gave her medical opinion, and I listened quietly.

In short, it wasn’t a good situation.

I once heard that it’s much better for a traffic accident patient to have clearly visible injuries, like a broken bone or a wound, than to have no outwardly apparent abnormalities.

I don’t know if that’s true or not.

It’s a saying that invisible wounds are just as dangerous.

Though different in nature, the child, who had no noticeable external injuries, was mentally struggling. Dr. Jang’s careful diagnosis stated as much.

“Everyone has been so caring, and I’m just so sorry. But I truly don’t know why my child is like this…”

Seeing her tear up slightly, it seemed she was suffering greatly mentally. While other sick people were visibly recovering, her precious daughter was only getting worse, so I imagined her heart must have been breaking.

“It seems the food isn’t to her liking.”

“Th-that’s not it.”

When Grandmother suddenly appeared and spoke worriedly, the child’s mother waved her hand dismissively.

I thought the same.

Grandmother’s food was delicious and full of effort.

It seemed she had gone to great lengths while I was out and about. She had tried making various things to feed her, but the child’s reaction was unenthusiastic.

I listened to the story quietly, looking at the child.

It’s not a pleasant feeling to see such a pretty child in this state.

After pondering what to do, I moved.

I didn’t know if it would work, but I had a hunch.

First, I went down to the basement storage and rummaged for ingredients.

“Here it was.”

What I found was commercially available pancake mix.

Then I selected and took out fresh milk from my inventory.

I went back up to the reception room and sat down in front of the child.

“…Oppa, what are you doing?”

“Because there’s something I want to make for you.”

The child’s mother was flustered by the sudden bustling.

And the child stared blankly at my actions.

An awkward situation where everyone’s gaze was concentrated.

I started cooking in the comfortable resting area instead of the kitchen.

I placed a small frying pan on a portable container burner and busily moved my hands. And then I spoke quietly.

“Shia. Pretend to help and talk a little.”

“Huh?”

“Try to lighten the mood so the child can relax.”

“Ah~!”

Understanding my words, Shia immediately squatted down beside me.

Then she began to chatter away, helping to make the batter. Not to be outdone, the child’s mother also chimed in, comforting the child.

I moved my hands in sync with them, as if showing off to the child.

‘Oh… there’s a reaction.’

Though her eyes were still blank, I clearly felt her gaze shifting.

Conscious of the child’s weak, curious gaze, I lit the fire.

On the pan placed over the fire, I put good butter to melt.

The savory aroma rising as the butter melted tickled my nose.

Gently pouring the prepared batter, I slowly grilled it.

As the sweet scent slowly began to rise, the child reacted.

Whoosh – Flip!

As I flicked the gently shaken pan, the cake elegantly flipped in the air.

Soon, I placed the finished pancake on a plate and offered it to the child.

“……”

There was no reaction, but the child was clearly aware of the pancake in front of her.

Sensing the atmosphere, I opened the honey pot I had received as a gift, right in front of her.

I scooped out a large spoonful and conspicuously placed it on top of the cake.

Gulp-

I clearly heard the child’s gulping sound just now.

A peculiar light appeared in people’s eyes.

Especially the child’s mother and grandmother’s eyes widened.

‘Has it cooled enough by now?’

The pancake had cooled slightly while waiting for the child’s reaction.

Amidst the silent fuss, I cut a small piece of the pancake and placed it in the child’s hand.

Fortunately, it wasn’t hot, and the child took the soft piece of cake.

But she still didn’t put it in her mouth.

Watching that, I spoke softly.

“I got this cake, and this honey was a gift from a market lady.”

“……”

“You saw big sister here and I worked hard to make this, right? It’s okay to eat this.”

At the words ‘it’s okay’, the child flinched.

“It’s okay to eat it, and it’s okay for it to be delicious.”

“……”

“No one will say anything.”

“……”

“Miri isn’t doing anything wrong either.”

At my words, the child’s body stiffened as if her breath had stopped.

And the child’s mother and Dr. Jang didn’t miss that change.

“Look.”

I tore off a small piece of the pancake with my hand and put it into Shia’s mouth.

I also fed a piece to the child’s mother, who was watching breathlessly.

“See? Mom and big sister are eating it deliciously.”

At my words, Shia acted sensibily.

She chewed daintily, showing the happiest expression in the world.

The child’s mother didn’t miss it either, repeatedly saying ‘it’s delicious’.

After dipping a small piece of pancake lightly in honey, I slowly brought it to the child’s mouth.

“It’s okay for Miri to eat it deliciously too.”

At my words, the child’s mouth trembled slightly.

“Trust Uncle.”

After a moment’s wait, the child brought her own mouth to the pancake piece and ate it.

Chewing softly

“It’s warm and sweet, isn’t it?”

“……”

“It’s natural for people to do that. So it’s okay.”

Hearing my straightforward words, the child soon began to eat the cake she held in her hand herself. Slowly, very slowly.

While people watched breathlessly, the child slowly ate the pancake.

“Drink some milk too. Here.”

When I offered her the milk poured into a pretty cup, she didn’t refuse and took sips.

As the pancake gradually diminished, people felt relieved and admired.

The child’s mother wiped away tears as she watched her daughter eat.

Soon, the child completely finished the small pancake.

At that sight, people let out small exclamations of admiration.

Grandmother, especially, looked at the child with a warm smile.

“It seems like it’s not enough?”

“Hmm…”

Hearing grandmother’s words, it seemed so.

I glanced at Dr. Jang, who nodded and offered advice.

“It would be fine to make them small and give them to her. Eating too much suddenly might upset her stomach.”

Nodding at the doctor’s advice, I stepped away.

“This time, grandmother will make it.”

At my words, Grandmother, who quickly snapped to attention, smiled and skillfully grilled the batter.

It was definitely completely different from what I had grilled.

It was clearly the same ingredients and the same batter, but the shape and feel were different.

It wasn’t an illusion that it looked fluffier and more delicious.

Indeed, a true master is significantly different.

The delicious-looking pancakes that Grandmother carefully grilled went entirely into the child’s mouth.

And a moment later.

Perhaps feeling full, the child blinked her eyes and soon fell asleep.

“Phew~”

Only after seeing the child peacefully asleep could I finally relax.

I had encountered a similar situation before.

So I tried it just in case, and it’s a relief it worked out.

Seeing the child, who had eaten a little but felt full and fallen asleep, put my mind at ease.

And it seemed I wasn’t the only one.

The child’s mother, holding her sleeping child dearly, was shedding endless tears.

Unable to move for fear of waking the child, she greeted me with her eyes.

I gave a small nod and quietly rose from my seat.

‘This should be enough to earn their forgiveness, right?’

The gazes of the people, who were looking at me softly with sparkling eyes, were fixed on me.

Feeling burdened by those gazes, I quietly slipped away.

I was feeling a bit sorry to everyone for having been caught drinking among ourselves.

Instead, I did a big good deed first thing in the morning, so maybe they’ll overlook it.

Thinking that, I went out to the entrance and quietly took out a cigarette and lit it.

A cigarette after a successful task felt quite good.

…It might have been even better if it weren’t for the cold, pouring rain.