episode_0110

I lost everything. From my beloved parents to my precious friends who were like family.

Every day was hell. It was difficult to even breathe, and every time I took a step, I felt like I was walking on a thorny path.

A cursed human who caused his parents to die and his friends to leave.

No one ever talked about me like that, but I called myself that.

I blamed myself for their leaving. I was no different from the sinner who drove them to death.

I didn’t try to contact anyone. I didn’t want to hear anything, I didn’t want to see anything, I didn’t want to say anything.

“….You can lean on me.”

It was my girlfriend who supported me as I collapsed. The warmth that was delivered to me who was thinking about death every day, struggling and crying in pain.

“Black…Ugh…”

“It’s okay… You can cry.”

It was so cozy and warm that I cried like a child. She quietly hugged me.

Then, the thoughts that were swirling like crazy in my head, the looks that appeared out of thin air, and the criticism and swearing directed at me quieted down.

Thanks to my girlfriend, I was able to barely overcome it. It was really hard and every day was a pain, but I was able to survive because of her.

“You…you won’t leave me…?”

I clung to her. It may look ugly, but it couldn’t be helped. Because now all I had left was her.

“Of course… How could I leave you! So, you can rest assured!”

Your smile shines more brilliantly than the sunlight on a summer day and is warmer than the wind on a spring day. That was enough for me.

My life started to get better little by little. I began to come out of the room I had locked myself in, and began to face the world.

“……Ugh.”

Of course, the world was so scary and cold. It felt like I was going to collapse and collapse at any moment.

All people’s eyes seemed to be on me, and they all seemed to belittle and criticize me.

“It’s okay. Take my hand.”

However, when the warmth beyond the joined hands was conveyed. I was finally able to move on.

One step. We moved forward slowly, one step at a time. She supported me. It’s okay if it’s not fast.

Just moving forward is enough.

One day I asked her. Why are you being so kind to me, who has nothing and is ugly?

A person like you is too much for me, so why do you stay by my side?

If she had left, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it any longer, but her sacrifice and laughter were so brilliant. I asked her because she was so bright, unlike me, which was dark and cloudy.

I asked her, shaking off the fear and fear of being abandoned and being left alone. Because she was not someone who should be tied down to someone like me.

However, the open sea and the sun on the horizon that I have always seen. And with her back to the stars that had begun to fall, she spoke to me.

“Because I love you.”

When I looked at her smile, which was more brilliant and brighter than the sun shining behind her back or the stars embroidered in the sky.

“Thank you… Wow. For loving me like this…”

“…Are you crying again? This crybaby…”

He ran to her and hugged her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t reject me either and hugged me.

I made a promise that day, on that cliff where the stars were pouring down.

I will protect this woman at any cost, even if it means burning my body. That it will make everything you want come true.

Our happy daily life continued. Whenever I was left alone, I would play games that I loved since I was young to get rid of loneliness.

“Tell me too! I want to do it with you!”

“….Really?”

“Yes! Because anything I do with you is fun…!”

Thankfully, she played the game with me, probably because she felt sorry for me playing the game alone.

“Profit… This is difficult….”

“It was like that at first… I was like that too.”

“Puu… You’re so good at it! I seem to be good at almost all games!”

She started playing games for me at first and seemed to have fun with it too, so we played a lot of games together.

A game where you use water balloons to pop, or a game where you drive a car and use boosters to cross the line.

Whether it’s a ravine to protect your parents’ safety or a battlefield full of bullets and bombs.

If I were to recall the most fun thing… Well, it was an RPG game that felt like we were going on a trip just the two of us.

The beginning was very easy, but the difficulty became more difficult after the middle part, and it was memorable because the Three Great Heavenly Kings below him were much stronger than the Demon King.

They must have been a Death Knight, a Witch of Despair, and a Beast of Anger, respectively. I still remember when I worked with her to reach the ending of the game.

Any place I was with her was a blessed place, and the time we spent together was nothing but happiness.

I gradually began to look at the world, and before I knew it, I could no longer feel the voices and gazes I had been hearing.

In fact, she was a child who lost her parents like me. I remember when we were drinking together and emotions were running high, she told me a story with tears in her eyes.

She felt the same pain as me and was in pain. We were able to endure each other’s pain by empathizing with and sharing it.

In this way, our relationship became stronger, and it has now developed to the point where we are considering marriage.

“Cough…Cock….”

“Oh my… the cold lasts a little longer. Are you okay?”

Our happy daily life continued. Although she had a bad cold and was coughing for a long time and didn’t seem to be feeling well, I was a little worried.

Our happy life just like that –

“Cough, wow….”

Sigh-!

“Uh….huh?!”

“….Oh. Me… why am I like this…?”

One day suddenly. She collapsed, vomiting blood. I immediately picked her up and headed to the emergency room, treated her for a long time, and completed the examination.

“….Are you a guardian?”

“Yes…yes! There won’t be any big problems, right…? Please…”

“……”

“Doctor…Teacher?”

The doctor’s heavy expression. And the trembling mouth made me anxious.

“After examining the patient… we found a large tumor on the pancreas.”

“Yes?! What is that…”

“…It is very likely that it is pancreatic cancer. That too… I think I’m currently past the 4th stage.”

-I’m sorry for saying this. The current situation is not so good… I think you need to mentally prepare.

“Ah….ah….!”

How can the world be like this? Why… it had to be her.

It felt like the world hated me. Why did the angels who remained around me have to go through this?

Time passed. After completing all tests, I entered the hospital room where she would be.

She was sitting on the bed and quietly looking out the window. I couldn’t stop crying.

“……sigh…sigh…”

She must have heard me, and turned her head towards me. Her face looked so gaunt.

Her eyes, which were always full of life, were losing their shine, and her flowing black bob hair was empty in some places.

“I… pancreatic cancer is terminal. And I don’t have much time left to live.”

“Ugh…Keuhuh….Ugh….”

“What should I… do? Am I going to die…?”

Tears flow from her eyes. She tries to pretend she’s okay, but her mouth is trembling, and even then, she thinks of me.

It made me so sick.

The world was hateful. Why do you take away the angels who were just staying by my side so mercilessly?

If there is a God, please answer. Why did it have to be them and not the insignificant me?

“I…I’m so scared…”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…!”

We hugged each other tightly. The tears didn’t stop flowing.

From that day on, I visited her every single day. He supported her as she coughed up blood and gave her everything she needed.

When I looked at her in pain, my heart felt like it was breaking.

Still… I tried to smile. I hope she can hold on with some hope.

One day. She asked me to bring her a wig. The black bobbed wig she always wore.

“How about me…?”

The moment I looked at her face looking back at me with the wig on. I thought I was going to stop breathing.

“So….pretty. Yes… it’s so beautiful.”

Because it was still so beautiful. Because she was so pretty that I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

However, her condition gradually worsened. The cycle of vomiting blood became shorter, and she became more emaciated by the day.

Her eyes, which used to sparkle more than jewels, lost their vitality. Now, every bone in my body was visible.

One day. When I heard her voice calling me, I quickly ran to the hospital room.

“Cluck…cough…!”

“…It’s okay. I have…”

“…..Ah. Come here…”

I approached her, trying hard to hold back my tears. She raised her trembling hand and placed it on my cheek.

“….my….love. I love you…”

“…Yes. I love you too… more than anything else. So…”

“Because… I love… you. I was happy…I was…”

The smile she smiled at that time was the same as the smile she smiled when she looked at me from the beautiful cliff.

Bleep-

“……Huh?”

Cradangtang-!

“…Hurry and bring the defibrillator! And…!”

“….Please come quickly, quickly!”

With a smile so beautiful it takes your breath away. Doctors and nurses rushed into the hospital room.

Bleep…

And after a while. A doctor in cold sweat approached me while I was in a daze.

“The patient… passed away. We did our best, but in the end…”

“….Ah…..”

BEEE-

With a cold resounding sound. My angel is gone.

After that day. I locked myself in my room. There was no one left for me, and it was obvious that if he came near me, he too would die.

I was glued to the game all day.

The voices that sounded like they were splitting my head, the stares that seemed to dig into me, and the guilt that felt like I was dying would subside when I played games.

I was immersed in myself in the game world, not in real life. I am erasing the real me and thinking that the me inside that monitor is ‘me’.

The means of escaping from reality were gnawing at me and killing me, but it didn’t matter. Because after they all left, I wasn’t alive even if I was alive.

I just lived because I couldn’t die. One day, I lived like a wreck every day.

I suddenly saw an unfamiliar ceiling.

And… all the memories that have continued since that day come to mind.

Memories from the Scar mercenary group. Memories from the Frost Estate. Days in Espilia.

….It was so fleeting. However, the ‘I’ who faced them had already died and disappeared a long time ago.

“Ha…Haha….”

Look at the magnificent scenery before your eyes. Why… couldn’t I think of it?

Why on earth had I forgotten this scenery, with stars pouring down, the sun on the horizon, and the waves crashing gently?

I take a step forward. Because it felt like my family, friends, and girlfriend were looking at me from beyond that vast horizon.

“Status…Window.”

[I@:Be!@%! / !@% : &&! / M!@% / Status: ^^&!(]

[Unique ability^!@$: Person^&(!@$(???): You can (@!& your alter ego. Person^(!@*$ $ The power is ^!@$, and you^!@#$ can be the body of God!@#$.

I feel the pain(!@$&)_of the pain$)!@#$! If you have an alter ego$)@!(#4, you can use 4%)#*!@$_!]

[^@# With the death of body 1, %)@!*$_!@]

[minute%)#*! As, sa%)#!@$ability.]

[@#)@!#8, $)!@)$*1]

Status window. You too… you had a really hard time. Now it’s broken and I can’t call you anymore.

Take one step further. My legs were shaking and it felt like a huge wind was hitting my body, but I was okay.

My hand is stretched out. Because that warm sunlight felt like their hands reaching out to me.

“…I’ll…go now.”

One step.

Now, if I take just one more step, I can finally reach my angels.

….Thank you everyone. hi.

There won’t be anyone left who will remember me anyway.

Now all you have to do is take one more step. Then I-

Tadadadadak-!

“I finally found it… my leader…!”

“Venice…! I’m here…!”

“Owner…! The smell of the master…!”

And then. I stopped walking when I heard all too familiar voices coming from behind me.