episode_0108

“…..Ah! I’m here, so don’t worry too much. Because I will always… be by your side.”

Your smile that was by my side whether I was having a hard time or laughing.

A light so brilliant that it was too much for me, who was quite ordinary.

“Thank you… really.”

For me… just having you is enough. Because now the only thing left by my side is you.

Hair blowing in the spring breeze, and a smile warmer than the spring sun. I follow behind you as you hold my hand and move forward.

***

Flashing.

“…………………..”

How many days has passed this time? I escaped from a long, long, seemingly never-ending dream world.

Raise your upper body from the soft bed. A lukewarm wind blows outside the open window, and the sounds of summer insects can be heard.

…Is it summer? It’s already… summer.

After the day the third clone died. When I fell asleep, I couldn’t wake up for a while.

At first I slept all day, then two days, and the time I spent sleeping became longer and longer.

…I guess I’ve been asleep for weeks. I’m sure it wasn’t this hot before I went to sleep.

I look down at my hands blankly. I look down at my fragile body.

Even though he had been asleep for several weeks and had not eaten or had a bowel movement, nothing had changed.

…..why.

Why only you…!

porridge…..

“…………!”

Rattling…

I start hearing voices again. In one corner of my vision, I see monsters coming out of the dark shadows and trying to devour me.

I crawled under the blanket, covered my entire body, and prayed desperately to a God I didn’t even believe in.

“….Please. Please let me sleep… please…”

I prayed and prayed again. Please help me escape from this reality, which is more terrible than this nightmare and hell. Please grant me the rest called sleep.

why…? Why were you the only one who survived?

We left like that… How come you’re still alive?

…..I hate you.

“No….no….!”

All too familiar voices begin to be heard beyond the blanket. It felt like they were going to rip off my blanket and devour me at any moment.

You were the only one who survived… and you forgot about us?

“Hee…Hee hee…!”

A voice comes from right next to my ear. I was so startled that I got out of bed.

Neither my bed nor this house is safe anymore.

Where on earth am I supposed to go? Where on earth should I go… How can I not listen to this crazy voice?

Jump-! Crash-!

“Heo-eok…Heo-eok…!”

Immediately kick down the door of the house and run out. As for the destination… I don’t know. Any place would be better than this place.

My heart felt like it was going to explode, and my weak legs were so sore that it wouldn’t be surprising if they broke at any moment.

But I couldn’t stop running.

Why only you… only you…!

It’s because of you that we died… Because of you…!

I hate you… I hate you…!

Because I know that if I stop walking now, those creepy voices coming from right behind me will devour me.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…!”

Without even thinking about wiping away the flowing tears, I just ran, embracing my blurred vision.

Bye.

“Ugh..Ugh…!”

However, as I ran without even checking what was ahead, my foot broke.

…no. If things continue like this, that voice and that shadow will be me…!

An extreme feeling of fear began to creep through my entire body. I couldn’t even breathe properly.

However, the moment I looked up from where I was sitting. I felt the fear and fear I felt just moments ago disappear in an instant.

“……Ah.”

Because the place where I sat down was the cliff that I always looked for, with beautiful stars and a wide horizon.

Beyond the clearer view, the sun has just begun to set, showing off its beautiful light across the horizon. And because I saw stars and the Milky Way starting to shine brilliantly above it.

And then. The moment when I looked at the horizon and stars that were so beautiful.

Suddenly, a scene in my memory began to appear.

***

“…..Ah. how is it? This is a place that my mom and dad have been visiting often since they started dating.”

“You too…”

The father spread his arms out as if he was proud, and the mother blushed as if she was embarrassed.

However, I was completely blinded by the beauty of my parents, whom I had always loved.

“Wow…..”

When I parked the car and got out, I still can’t forget the view I saw from the cliff as the sun began to set.

An endless sea. And the sun lightly touches the horizon and emits beautiful light.

And, the stars embroidered in the sky as if looking down on them all.

The image I first saw when I was very young remained vivid in my memory even now, even though time has passed.

My life wasn’t that special. I studied like everyone else, ate like everyone else, and lived like everyone else.

The only thing that was a little unusual was that I didn’t approach my friends first because I didn’t want to increase my personal relationships.

So, I had few, if any, acquaintances other than my close-knit friends who felt like a second family.

My family was also really ordinary. My mother who was a housewife, my father who worked at a company, and even me who was an ordinary student.

Because it was so ordinary, it could even be said to be special. Because we were extremely happy and loved each other.

….okay. How great it would have been if I had progressed my whole life like that.

“….Son, eat some of this…”

“I don’t eat it!”

Puberty came to me too. I went through a period of extreme rebellion, forgetting about my small wish as a child to be filial to my parents without hurting them for the rest of my life.

Puberty was truly magical. Even with just the slightest factor, my emotions exploded and suddenly subsided.

That day was the same.

“…I didn’t go!”

“Son… But we always went together…”

“Only mom and dad go! Because I don’t want to go!”

“….Whew. I understand.”

For the first time, I refused to head to that beautiful cliff, which was an annual event for my family.

The reason was extremely childish. I got angry because my parents didn’t seem to listen to me.

I rejected my parents just for that reason, just for that reason.

Squeak… Boom. Beep.

In the end, my parents went to the cliff alone without me.

My mother and father tried to scold me, but instead of getting through to them, I think they felt pitiful when they saw me becoming even more of a mess.

“…Ha! It’s really annoying!”

At that time, I was very young and faithful to my emotions.

Because I often just blamed my parents without even thinking about the frustration and verbal abuse I gave to my father and mother.

“Ai… I need to play a game.”

Tooru…. Tak.

-hello?

“Hey, let’s play a game! Come in quickly!”

-…Wasn’t today the day you were going somewhere with your parents?

“Oh, I don’t know! Just come in!”

Without realizing that I had driven a nail into my parents’ hearts with my reckless verbal abuse and emotional remarks.

I just focused on this moment.

Time passed so quickly.

When I was doing something that wasn’t fun and I didn’t want to do, time always felt slow, and when I was doing something that was fun and I wanted to do, time passed quickly as if it were accelerating.

“….Mr….”

It was late, and I felt an inexplicable sense of guilt as I looked at the clock.

Isn’t that what emotions are during puberty? Your emotions may explode for a really trivial reason, and they may subside for a very simple and trivial reason.

I certainly didn’t feel any guilt until my parents left the house, and I didn’t even try to remember what I had said.

Suddenly I felt guilty. Actually, I knew it too. I’m going through puberty, and my emotions are so fluctuating.

Actually, I didn’t want to say that to my parents either. How could that be? These are the people who raised me and supported me with love.

For some reason, my parents came home late, and I felt sorry, so I called them.

Toorururu…

Toorururu…

I can’t answer the phone, after the beep…

“…What is it?”

My parents didn’t answer the phone. Both mother and father.

If it were normal, if I called you, you would have answered within 3 seconds.

I felt a little anxious, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Well, I guess you’re busy driving. Or maybe you can’t hear because the surroundings are noisy.

Toorururu… sweet.

Ah, you finally answered the phone. I guess I should apologize.

“…Mom! I…”

-The person calling, what is your relationship with this person?

“….Yes?”

I looked down at the phone, wondering if I had dialed the wrong number, but the person I was talking to was clearly ‘Mom’.

However, the voice was neither my mother’s voice nor my father’s. The voice I heard for the first time asked me what my relationship with my mom was like.

“Um…me?”

-yes. Victim… What is your relationship with this person?

“Ah…it’s my son…”

-…………

The voice on the other end of the phone remained silent. At that moment, I felt like time had stopped.

-…I’m sorry for contacting you like this… I think you should come here quickly.

“Yes…? What is that…”

The location shown in the text message that arrived on the phone. I think I was out of my mind after seeing that message. Because I still can’t remember how it went.

-Ugh… Ugh… What should I do… What should I do…!

-….brother..

-Sister…Sister…!

-Oh my, oh my…!

After coming to my senses, I arrived at a small funeral home.

Aunts, uncles, and grandmothers all gather together and let out wailing cries.

Until then, I thought I was dreaming. This… is ridiculous.

however. Beyond the small portrait, when I saw my mother and father in the family photo I took together before I reached the peak of puberty because I was not prepared.

I felt that warm smile beyond the photo, that voice smiling at me.

Grumbling.

“Ah…ah…”

Only then did I shed tears. I felt as if my throat had been hung, and I couldn’t speak, and my mind went blank.

This is a dream. It can only be a dream. I tried to deny reality, saying it had to be that way, but it wasn’t a dream.

That I can no longer look at my parents, their warm voices and smiles.

The last goodbye I had with my parents was an irritated rant.

It was so painful and painful that it felt like it was torn apart.

At least I could have said that I loved you and that I didn’t mean it.

A feeling of guilt was weighing down my entire body. I felt like I couldn’t even breathe properly.

According to the police who arrived later, my parents were driven away by a drunk truck driver while driving toward the cliff.

The truck driver completely crushed my parents’ chair and ran away, crashing into the guardrail of the cliff and falling, killing them on the spot.

“Uh…Mom…Dad…”

I looked at my parents’ faces beyond the portrait, blamed myself, and cried.

Just like that, I lost my parents, whom I loved so much, so suddenly, overnight.

Our family looked so warm and together in the portrait photo.