episode_0104

#104

“Oppa Hogu. There’s something I need to tell you……”

“……?”

What is it? All of a sudden?

The atmosphere shifts in an instant.

“…That person you introduced me to last time… You know, the uncle you said was my fan. Do you remember him?”

How could I forget?

She’s talking about Han Myeong-su.

Just hearing his name instantly brings back the memory of eavesdropping on Sarang and Han Myeong-su’s four-hour-long phone call.

Just thinking about it… my pants still feel tight on one side.

“……I remember.”

“Mmm. That’s a relief. I was worried you might’ve already forgotten.”

“I’m not *that* forgetful.”

It’s not like I could ever forget that memory—or the fact that the recorded call logs remain untouched on my phone.

Of course, this is a secret from Sarang.

But why?

Why is Sarang suddenly bringing up Han Myeong-su now?

“……What about him?”

“Mmm~. You’ve met him before, right? That uncle acted like he knew you too.”

“A few times, yeah.”

“I see…… Hmm. So that’s how it is.”

Sarang nodded a few times, as if everything made sense now.

“Um… Oppa Hogu. What I’m about to say next—don’t freak out too much, okay? And… I hope you won’t hate me for it.”

“Something bad happened?”

“Bad…? Well… I don’t know if I’d call it that. Mm… I’m not really sure.”

Sarang gave a slightly bitter smile as she turned to face me.

She sighed deeply, as if she’d made up her mind, before finally speaking.

“I… actually slept with him that night after our date.”

“……….”

I already knew.

But knowing and hearing it directly from Sarang’s mouth… felt entirely different.

“When I say ‘slept with,’ I don’t mean just sleeping, you know. I mean… we had sex.”

“……….”

I didn’t know how to react.

Should I be shocked? Should I be angry?

Unable to grasp my emotions, I just stared blankly at Sarang.

“You’re not as shocked as I expected. I thought you’d scream and get mad.”

Well, that’s because I already knew *all the details*…

…Not that I could say that.

But more than that, I couldn’t find the words to respond.

Why…?

Why is she telling me this *now*?

I had no idea what Sarang was thinking.

“It wasn’t… forced, was it? You weren’t… pressured into it…?”

I already knew the answer, but…

I asked anyway, just in case there was something I didn’t know.

What if, like Se-ah… she was taken advantage of?

“Mmm~. No, nothing like that. You know better than anyone that *I* wouldn’t just stay quiet if something like that happened, right?”

That much was true.

“Then……”

“It just… happened, I guess? The mood took over? Mm… Things just escalated that way. We were talking, and then…”

“……”

“Oppa. You look *so* serious right now… *Hmph.* I’m sorry. I know this isn’t something I should be telling you. That it’s not appropriate. But… I gathered *so much* courage to say this. Right now.”

“…I see.”

“You know… I really, *really* liked you, Oppa.”

“……!”

…Did I hear that wrong?

Startled, I looked straight at her.

Her eyes weren’t teasing.

Her lips were pursed, and her expression wasn’t her usual bright smile.

She looked at me with utter seriousness as she continued.

“Since forever… No, since the very first time I saw you. I was *so* young back then. Around middle school? I was just a trainee then, and you were a rookie who’d just joined the company. We barely saw each other, but… every time we passed by, I’d always greet you enthusiastically. Do you remember?”

“……I… remember.”

She was the only one who’d call out to me *so loudly* and run up to greet me like that.

“When I passed the audition and found out my manager would be *you*, Oppa Hogu… I cried so hard at home that day, you know? I was so happy. ‘I’ll finally get to work with Oppa Hogu. I’ll see him every single day.’”

“……”

I never knew.

I just thought she was naturally outgoing and hardworking.

I never imagined those feelings were directed toward *me*.

“So… even when things weren’t going well with , it didn’t matter to me because I’d still get to be with you as long as we kept promoting. That’s what I thought. But then…… Oppa got a girlfriend…?”

“……You mean Harin?”

“Yeah.”

The grip on my arm tightened slightly at Harin’s name.

“I saw the two of you talking once. You looked *so* good together. Your chemistry was just… perfect. And Oppa really seemed to like Harin unnie too… So… ‘There’s no way I can win against her.’ ‘Harin unnie… is someone I can *never* beat.’ That’s how I felt.”

Her hand trembled slightly.

“I wanted to give up and move on… But then *that* was when you introduced me to *him*. You said it was for work.”

Without realizing it, Sarang had stopped calling Han Myeong-su “*that uncle*” and had started referring to him as “*that man*.”

“But you know… *That man*? Maybe because he said he was my fan, but he treated me *so* well. He paid attention to every little thing, cared about everything I did… Even the smallest actions were filled with thoughtfulness. Of course, *you* take care of me too, Oppa… but that’s just because I’m your assigned idol, right?”

“Yeah… That’s true.”

I’ve never treated Sarang with anything beyond professionalism.

“So I… I was heartbroken and wanted comfort. And there *he* was. A man who liked me and treated me *so* well. So……”

“So…… You did it?”

“…Mhm.”

Sarang nodded again.

“I’m sorry. It was my first time… I wanted to give my first time to *you*, Oppa… But things turned out differently.”

Her expression… had been a bitter smile this whole time.

I had no idea how to respond to her.

Both to being confessed to like this…

And hearing that the girl confessing had given her first time to another man……

I didn’t know what to say.

But.

But there was *one* thing I could feel in my heart.

A sense of guilt alongside the warmth of being loved.

The fact that a girl who liked me had been held by another man…

Stirred a strange excitement in me.

“You know what? After that… I kept in touch with him.”

“……What?”

*This* part…

I was hearing for the first time.

“And *a lot*, too… Almost every day. Just small talk, though. ‘Did you sleep well?’ ‘Have a good day.’ ‘How was your day today?’ ‘You worked hard.’ That kinda stuff. Super basic, right? But…… I don’t know… It just feels different. Because they’re words I *don’t* hear from you…?”

It almost sounded like she was blaming me.

But I…

I have to maintain boundaries between idols and managers.

So there was nothing I could do……

“That’s why… Actually, yesterday… I met him again.”

“……!”

She met him *again*?

Without telling me?

That means……

“Last night… I snuck out for a bit to see him… We talked… And then……”

“You… did it?”

“Mhm.”

Another nod.

Her face faintly flushed red.

“While we were, you know… doing it… I realized something. That I… ‘Ah, I think I like this man even more now…’ That I like him even *more* than you, Oppa Hogu.”

“…Sarang-ah.”

“Kinda weird, huh? No matter how you look at it, I’ve liked you for *so* much longer. But in less than a week, I started falling for another man… And one old enough to be my *dad*, too… I was so confused. I couldn’t even tell *myself* which one I liked more.”

“……”

“But anyway… There’s no way I can beat Harin unnie. On top of that, I already gave my first time to someone else… Someone like me could *never* win against her. So… I figured I’d just give up completely and start dating *him* instead…”

*Gulp.* She swallowed hard, glancing at me.

This expression…

It was the same one I’d seen before.

The same kind of look Eun-chae and Harin had given me.

“Is Harin unnie… good at it? Serving the CEO.”

“……Huh?”

“She looked like a totally different person… I thought it might be acting, but she was *so* devoted that it couldn’t just be that. Like she was putting her whole heart into it.”

Sarang reached toward my body, slipping her arm around mine and pulling it against her chest.

I should’ve pulled away.

But my body froze.

“I could barely even *speak* to the CEO because he disgusted me so much… But Harin unnie didn’t even care about the smell, clinging to him like a bitch in heat… Does she *have* a boyfriend? I couldn’t believe how hard she was going at it. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Why… Why are you telling me—”

*This?*

I already knew all this.

But the content wasn’t what mattered to me.

What mattered was… *why* Sarang was telling me this.

Unaware—or perhaps fully aware—of my thoughts, Sarang continued without hesitation.

“[Did you know, Oppa? That Harin unnie was like that?](#)”

I couldn’t say yes.

“[…But I think you *did* know.](#)”

“…Huh?”

“It’s weird, right? *You* were the one who cleared the way for her to ‘serve’ the CEO. And last time, when the PD got mad about the wardrobe malfunction, it was just you and Harin unnie left behind, wasn’t it? You said nothing happened, but… Now that *I’ve* had sex too, I recognize the look a woman has after doing it… That’s *exactly* how Harin unnie looked.”

“……”

“And you don’t even smoke, right? But Harin unnie’s body *reeked* of cigarettes that day. *So* strongly. I *remember*—there was an ashtray with cigarettes by the PD’s seat. Which means……”

“Stop.”

“I’m sorry. I’m quick to notice things, aren’t I? If I’m wrong, then fine… You *know* I’ve got good instincts, Oppa. ……Was I wrong? Doesn’t feel like it.”

“……Stop it.”

Ignoring me, Sarang pressed on with full confidence.

“Let me sum it up. Either… you don’t really care about Harin unnie at all and just see her as a tool to hand off to other men… Or—”

Once again, I was exposed.

The desire I never wanted uncovered.

“[You actually *like* watching Harin unnie get fucked by other men.](#)”

For the first time, Sarang’s faint smirk sent a shiver down my spine.

*Swiish.*

Resting her hand on my thigh, Sarang pressed herself against me.

Only then did it hit me—

Why she was telling me all this.

Sarang was smiling now—like she’d seized her chance.

As if… she’d finally grasped the opportunity.

“[Which one is it?](#) …Oppa Hogu.”