episode_0104

[Episode 104] – Hand clasping

The moment I held hands with my mother.

Titania felt her mind turning white. I couldn’t remember the date course I had worked so hard to prepare for a week, and I couldn’t stand it because I was so worried about my mother’s hand touching me.

“So, where should we start? “Let’s go wherever you want.”

“Well, at first… there was an ice sculpture…”

“You mean the statue? “I guess I’ll have to look around a bit.”

My mother said that and started looking around. He turned his head a few times and looked around, and soon, as if he had found the way, he started walking one step ahead, pulling his joined hands.

Titania simply followed her mother’s lead. I had long since forgotten the date course I had set for myself. Titania took a step back and looked at her mother walking ahead.

The noisy sounds of people enjoying the festival could be heard all around, but strangely, they seemed to come from far away. Rather, it was hard to hear because it was drowned out by the pounding of my heart.

“Titania, look at that. “There are a lot more street stalls than I thought.”

“Yes… I see…”

Titania could not look where her mother pointed.

Rather, after seeing their joined hands, all the nerves in my body were focused on my mother’s hand, so I couldn’t look at anything. The warmth I felt from our skin touching each other was enough to make me forget the chill of winter.

What the street stalls were like, what the festival was like, right now was not the time to worry about such things. Because I couldn’t take my eyes off the hand where my palm and my mother’s palm were touching tightly.

When making plans for a date, contrary to his grandiose plan of hugging and receiving kisses, just holding hands with his mother made his face feel hot and ready to explode.

It was difficult for me to even wiggle my fingers because my mother’s hand was perfectly overlapping my palm. Moreover, my palms seemed to be soaked with sweat, so I wanted to wipe them off quickly.

‘Was it this difficult to hold hands with my mother? How should I let go? Should I take my fingers off first? Or, did you start by removing the palms of your hands that were touching each other? Besides, even if I let go, is it okay to hold it again? ‘Wouldn’t my mother hate me because of my sweat?’

I felt like my head was going to explode with stupid thoughts.

When people passing by see you, won’t they think you’re like someone you’ve held hands with for the first time in your life? This situation felt awkward enough to make me think that way.

Vivian stopped for a moment and slowly turned her head to look at Titania. So at that moment, Titania also had no choice but to turn her head and look at Vivian’s face.

The sunlight shining from the cloudless sky reflected the snow on the ground and sparkled like a sunbeam on the sea. My mother’s face, reflected in the glow of her eyes, seemed to shine brighter than usual.

“Titania, isn’t that what you were talking about?”

The place my mother pointed to was the ice sculptures lined up on a frozen lake. Around it, numerous people were looking at the statue, and children were playing innocently on the ice.

Titania responded with a small nod of her head. Then, my mother smiled brightly and slowly walked towards the place where the ice sculptures were lined up.

Titania honestly wasn’t interested in anything, ice sculptures or anything. Right now, I desperately wish I could just hold hands with my mother and sit somewhere quiet.

It was a festival that he had longed for, but he was happier and better being with his mother than that festival. I was so happy just holding hands and being by his side that I felt like my legs were going to give out.

With my knees shaking with happiness, I somehow managed to come down to the lakeside where the statues were, but the lakeside was so crowded with so many people looking at the statues that it was confusing.

Titania and Vivian stood in line and looked at the statues one by one, staring blankly at the crowd of people walking by. It seemed like it took a lot of courage to join that procession.

“There are too many people… what should I do? mother? “It will come a little later…”

“But what if there are more people later? “I can’t go back without seeing it… Titania, don’t leave my side.”

When Titania was at a loss for what to do in the face of so many people, Vivian put a little more pressure on her hand and pulled her towards me. At that moment, Titania’s body tilted towards Vivian.

Since there were so many people, Titania felt her head getting hot as if it was going to explode as she was hugged by her shoulders and told to stay close to me and not to fall away from me.

“Never let go. got it?”

“Yes, yes…”

“Then, let’s go take a look.”

Slowly, Titania and Vivian entered the crowd and began looking at the statues. Many of the statues placed in the lake were of high quality, befitting the reputation of the festival.

A statue with wings or a mermaid-like statue. Or, something like an ice slide sculpture for children. If I came here alone, I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off those statues…

‘Because now there’s something right next to me that’s stealing my attention…’

Even though she bumped shoulders with people every time she walked, Titania couldn’t take her mind off her palm. Meanwhile, Titania felt that now was an opportunity as there were many people.

It seemed like just holding on to my hand to keep from falling wasn’t enough. No, it was never enough. What do you do if you fall while holding hands? It was clear that the moment I fell from here, I would become lost.

If she becomes a lost child, she will ruin today’s date, which she was allowed to do with great difficulty, and will worry her mother. So, this was an action with a cause and an opportunity to make a profit.

Excited.

Titania looked at her hands with pondering eyes, then swallowed her saliva and finished her contemplation. As the throat throbbed, Titania’s fingers gently brushed the back of Vivian’s hand.

Excited. Excited.

As I loosened my fingers one by one, the distance between them began to widen little by little. As the winter wind filled the sweat-soaked space where their skin touched, Titania felt goosebumps rising on her hair.

Excited. Excited. Excited.

My heart was beating so hard that it hurt.

Titania began to interlock her fingers between her mother’s fingers, not knowing whether they were wet with her own sweat, her mother’s sweat, or whose sweat they were.

The delicate flesh inside the fingers began to rub and fit together tightly, as if they were finding their proper place. Their sweaty palms rubbed together, and then their fingers interlocked.

The delicate skin between my interlocking fingers burned as if it had been burned. Titania glanced at Vivian’s eyes and intertwined her fingers a little more, a little deeper.

Does your mother know?

The fact that this hand clasping is not just a child’s cute gesture.

It is an action that is imbued with deeper emotions.

The fact that I am intertwining my fingers not because I don’t want a child to be lost, but because I want to prevent you from leaving my side.

The long outstretched fingers intertwined and overlapped, and Titania’s hand and Vivian’s hand merged into one.

Titania smiled brightly as she looked at her hands that were glued together and could not be separated. It wasn’t even a kiss, it was just a hand cuff, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

Clearly, even though he clasped his hands first, it looked as if his hand, which was relatively small compared to his mother’s, was being eaten by his mother’s palm.

His wrist was also bent towards him, clearly showing who still had the upper hand. As expected, Titania laughed, saying that she could not defeat her mother yet.

Even though it was just a simple act of clasping hands, the entire process was vivid enough to remain in my memory, and it felt like time was passing slowly.

The lukewarm sweat pooling between fingers as they interlock. My mother’s fingers are tightening so tightly that there are no gaps. Everything was vivid and beautiful.

“Ehehe.”

“Is it so nice to be outside?”

“Does it show much?”

“You’re smiling like that, but I don’t know?”

Titania followed Vivian, who was laughing, and smiled.

No, my mother didn’t know. That you are not happy just because you are outside. The fact that I am happy not just because of the festival, but because I can be with my mother like this.

Titania was happy to be able to spend time alone with Vivian. I was happy, but at the same time, the passage of time made me feel sad.

As expected, one day was too short. I was just walking around with my hands intertwined, but when I came to my senses, I had already finished looking at the ice sculpture.

Honestly, I couldn’t even remember what I saw. There was no way he could remember because his gaze was always directed at his mother.

“It’s so amazing that I can’t believe it was carved out of ice. There are also experiential areas that children will enjoy, such as a slide. And again…”

Vivian seemed to like the statues on display and began to share her impressions one by one. Titania smiled as she took in Vivian’s appearance.

Things like cheeks turning bright red from the cold, or white steam escaping from the teeth. It seemed like it had been a long time since she had seen her mother happy like a child, and Titania felt good just looking at her mother.

As I was watching my mother talk, she suddenly stood still and started thinking about something. And, I quickly found out why. That’s right-

“Titania, don’t you want to eat something?”

Because my mother’s belly clock rang through her clasped hands. With a growl, my mother smiled and pointed to a street stall. That sight was so cute that Titania burst into laughter.

“Iknow, right. Because I didn’t even eat breakfast. “I suddenly became very hungry.”

“What do you want to eat? No, look around together and let me know if there is anything you want to eat. “Let’s eat as much as we want today without worrying about gaining weight.”

Vivian said that and headed towards the street stall, holding hands with Titania. Titania followed Vivian’s lead and forced her clasped hands to cross more deeply.

Did you say that human greed has no end? Titania felt the desire to have deeper skinship with her mother, not just with her hands, becoming more and more evident.

A desire to go beyond hands and become a little deeper with my mother. Titania swallowed down her boiling desire along with dry spit and followed behind her mother with a smile.