episode_0102

Pregnancy made me despise clothes.

All the clothes I’ve worn no longer fit me.

As time passed and my belly grew, even putting on clothes became difficult.

“Really…?”

“This is the part you can advertise, you know?”

“Well…”

A long flowing dress.

With a shoulder line that holds while the bottom widens to accommodate the growing belly, this type of clothing feels comfortable for me.

It’s both pretty and clearly indicates that I’m expecting a child.

“Where did your determination to capture all body types go? You should pose confidently even if you’re not feeling it.”

“Well… still…”

“I still think you look beautiful. Don’t you?”

“No… I mean, have you prepared yourself to be featured on the site?”

“…Well, I’m sure I have.”

Although several months have passed since I created my SNS account, I haven’t posted any pictures. It’s understandable since I’ve been pregnant.

In reality, I never really put much effort into managing it; it was just a simple hobby.

I consulted in advance about any large-scale photoshoots that might end up somewhere resembling a magazine spread and selected the prettiest pictures.

This time, I won’t do that.

Just a few… maybe a dozen pictures.

I’ll take some samples as well.

Who would say anything?

I’ve already confirmed that I’m the only pregnant model among them.

“If it gets tough in the middle, you must tell me, okay?”

“Yes. I’ll step out immediately. Standing for too long has been tough lately.”

“…Then why did you come out?”

She sighed heavily, then disappeared somewhere.

“Oh…”

“Today, just sit on the chair. Your posture… just do whatever is comfortable for you, Ji-hye.”

She brought a chair without a backrest and positioned it in the center of the camera.

This way, I’d be taken care of.

“I’ll… let the pretty clothes speak for themselves.”

“No. Just stay as you are. I’ll lower the camera.”

That’s how it shouldn’t be done.

“Ugh. I don’t like it. I came here today to help without getting paid.”

“…I’ll pay you.”

“Huh? Why is it turning out like this!”

“Oh. Why are you like this? Suddenly showing up and offering free service.”

There must be a reason for her visit.

Staying at home would only worsen my condition, and with my body feeling tense and knotted, stretching alone wouldn’t suffice.

The other sisters seemed unusually busy.

Even Soo-hyun, who always seemed so occupied every day… and even the mom who appeared to have the most free time suddenly disappeared somewhere.

It seems like she came because she had nothing else to do, but I’ll entrust her with that statement… and there’s nowhere else to go now.

No matter how much of a homebody I am, there are times like this occasionally.

“Ugh… Won’t you accept me either, Unnie?”

“…I’m a mom.”

“Ugh… Please take a picture of me. I really hate just sitting around doing nothing.”

“Don’t pregnant women need to stay still…?”

She responds with a strong fact when asked.

Isn’t she being too harsh today?

“Do you want to see me get fat? When I come back later, I’ll probably be super chubby, right?”

“Oh. There seems to be a shortage of plump women soon. You’ll fit right in.”

“…I hate you, Unnie.”

While scolding, I sat down on the chair, and the flash went off.

“Well. You still look beautiful. You might even look more beautiful now.”

Muttering words that could be taken as praise, she took another shot.

“How about giving a smile now?”

“After killing someone’s spirit and taking a photo, how can you expect me to smile?”

Today is truly an unusual day.

Seems like she’s a bit angry, maybe I should ease the tension a bit.

Smiling at the thought of meeting the baby, the older sister seemed satisfied and continued taking pictures.

“Alright. Let’s keep that pose.”

Feeling somewhat uneasy about my abilities, I tried to adjust my posture and facial expressions as much as possible.

Changing only the top part of my outfit made it relatively easy.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

“Hehe, you too.”

The only thing different from before was my physical condition.

As I sat resting on the chair, the older sister approached and handed me a drink.

“Oh… I thought it was coffee.”

“Do you think I lack that much sense?”

Indeed, actions speak louder than words; she was meticulous and caring in her gestures.

“Sigh… I’m sorry today. I had nowhere else to go, so I came here.”

“Really? That so?”

Unlike earlier, the older sister now smiled faintly.

Perhaps her anger has subsided.

“Anyway… thank you. Have you calmed down a bit too?”

“…Angry?”

“Huh? No? Earlier, you seemed quite annoyed, so I almost left without saying anything.”

After contemplating for a moment, the older sister burst into laughter with a ‘pfft’ sound.

“Should I ask about that? Why do you think I was angry?”

Could it be me?

But initially, there didn’t seem to be anything that would have made her so angry.

“I… don’t know.”

“Well… before you came, some scammer came by, and we had a chat. I brushed it off and sent them away, and then you showed up right at that moment.”

“I see…”

Momentarily taken aback by the word “scammer,” I shook my head.

It was the first time I had seen someone curse in front of me.

“I tried to hide it, but just when you arrived, making a fuss about being advertised, I got a little… irritated. I ended up telling you honestly, and I feel grateful for your sincerity, which helped me release all that pent-up frustration.”

So, it was indeed about me?

“Fine… I’ll be honest with you.”

“Yeah… honesty is key. Initially, I believed that simply taking photos was the answer, symbolizing my skills. But strangely, the more it grew, the more things turned out this way.”

She then went on to express her complaints and regrets, looking at me again.

“By any chance… is there anything else you’re hiding from me?”

“…Come on, surely not.”

Hiding something… well, there is one thing.

But at this point, it feels too late.

Rather than telling her, it might be better to show her my current state.

“I’ll accept everything. Whatever it is. You can’t deceive my eyes, you know?”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“You’re not going to be surprised?”

She seems to be dragging out the suspense.

Honestly, if it’s to this extent, I should just give up.

“What are you hiding that’s causing this? Since you’re willing to accept everything.”

But that’s not what happened.

At least establishing a baseline like, “If you’re hiding something to that extent, well… I won’t ask about it,” would have been helpful, showing curiosity but not forcing the issue.

Then I could have unburdened myself more comfortably.

“After hearing this, there isn’t a single person I know who wouldn’t be shocked.”

I gather my courage.

Carefully placing the empty drink can next to the crushed one on the floor, I politely clasp my hands together.

With her, everything will be fine.

It’ll be okay.

Everyone… was surprised, but at least they didn’t react with disgust.

*

Trembling lips, a heartbeat that grows louder in sync.

Even the thought of revealing my biggest secret to someone had me this nervous.

Just the act of speaking it out to someone already had me this tense.

I was calm until the moment of disclosure.

Would this newly formed relationship disappear as if it never existed, or would they see me differently, perhaps even with revulsion?

Would they find it repulsive?

The inside of my mouth was parched.

I closed my mouth and twisted my tongue around the ceiling, but the dryness in my mouth didn’t seem to go away.

“I-I’ll go. Forget about me.”

Did I say that for no reason?

My sister remained dazed, and I couldn’t handle this atmosphere.

“…It’s unexpected. So, you were originally a man.”

I tried to briskly get up and leave, but my hand was quickly caught.

“Heh. Where are you going?”

“H-home?”

My sister momentarily seemed puzzled, then burst into laughter.

“Am I trying to eat you or something?”

“Ah… Actually, I left something at home.”

“You should have been honest from the start.”

Excuses that come during a crisis retreated back into my mouth.

I wanted to push her hand away, but I didn’t have the strength to do so. Instead, my sister grabbed my hand with both of hers and guided me back to the chair where I couldn’t resist.

“…Shouldn’t you run away?”

“Yeah.”

The answer was short.

“…Please.”

“I haven’t said anything yet. Why are you already so tense?”

Feeling a burning sensation inside, I let go of her hand and lowered my head.

“…Sorry. Was I too much? Then let me say one thing. I’m not particularly interested. Whether you were a man or whatever, right now you’re a woman and even have a baby… You’re not transgender?”

“It’s an illness, a disease…”

“Well… but that kind of ‘illness’—”

“Exists. That’s why I have a baby.”

As if resigning everything, she said it listlessly.

Truly disgusting.

What a fool.

I should have gotten closer.

Or maybe I should have said it from the beginning.

“Well… you’re not okay, right? I’m not someone who leaks secrets, you know that, right?”

“…Right.”

“And… I took pictures for you, even made a wedding photo and sent it to you?”

“…Yes.”

“If I tell you honestly without any lies, not even a hint of your male appearance would show, and even if I knew you were a man, I’d just find it fascinating? Nothing else. So don’t shake like that. It seems like I did something wrong. I’m still your sister and the photographer who takes your pictures.”

As if a buried problem was unexpectedly solved, I felt slightly disappointed.

I thought it was to understand me, and the strange reaction was simply because I didn’t know how to react.

“…Thank you.”

“Thank you for telling me the secret. Did I pressure you too much?”

If I say I didn’t, it’s clearly a lie.

“A l-little.”

“Really?”

“…Quite a lot.”

To me, who is somewhat introverted and melancholic, answering such a forcibly sounding question is difficult.