episode_0101
by fnovelpia
How much time has passed?
Standing in a strange place.
Yeah, there’s no other way to describe it than by saying it’s a strange place.
I’ve been standing in this strange place for a while, blankly.
The sword… I don’t know how long it’s been since he left.
Memories and information are pouring in, things beyond my ability to perceive are churning through my head.
I can’t even refuse the storm of memories that is forcibly coming at me even though I didn’t want it.
When a piece of information comes in, I know it.
When ten pieces of information come in, you learn more.
When you know a hundred pieces of information, you become confused.
Knowing a thousand… ten thousand pieces of information is torture.
Knowledge is not power.
Information that cannot be used, memories that cannot be touched, only bring helplessness and pain.
Knowing too much is poisonous and eats me up.
In this strange place, I learn about things I didn’t do, things I didn’t say… things about myself that aren’t me.
No, I don’t know exactly, but countless things are filling up my head.
That’s why I can do nothing but groan as the country is consumed by the poison.
This moment when I can’t even move a finger… .
It’s so painful and sad.
gray.
A space filled entirely with gray comes into view.
It means that your five senses are slowly returning.
I welcome the grayness in my eyes, as if I were begging to be taken out of this hell. Anything would be better than the flood of information that seems to hit my brain directly.
“Ah… Ugh… Ugh… .”
Even if I shout or scream, no sound comes out properly.
Just like a broken wind-up doll, all that comes out is an unpleasant sound.
“ka… .”
Like a newborn baby searching for its mother, I desperately called out someone’s name.
Likewise, the words of a proper person do not come out.
In this strange place, I have acquired an almost omnipotent amount of knowledge.
Actually, it’s not knowledge, it’s my memory… .
However, as I regained my senses and became more conscious, my memories started to blur again. To be honest, it was as if all the memories I had painstakingly shoved into my head had evaporated.
In the end, I suffered and ended up like this.
My legs are shaking, my tears are flowing, and my voice is not working properly.
My consciousness fell endlessly from the heavenly realm where I felt I could do anything to here.
The sense of omnipotence that I had momentarily grasped disappeared in an instant.
I don’t even remember what that omnipotence was or what specifically it could do.
… Well, I guess that kind of thing is fine.
There is just one person I want to see.
Even if I lose everything, even if I forget that I am a country, it is like an instinct that is imprinted somewhere. It just desperately calls out one person’s name.
“Ah… Ahh… .”
Even though it was difficult to pronounce his name, I tried to call him again, as if this was the only reason I had to live.
But trapped here, I only felt the weight of eternity, my voice did not reach him, and he did not return.
So the longing became suffering, and the suffering became resignation.
That’s how I was being consumed by the gray world.
Again-
I hear a sound that I shouldn’t hear.
It’s the sound of footsteps.
Then someone else’s voice was heard too.
“Poor thing.”
I can see her hair as fine as silk.
“No matter how desperately you scream, he won’t listen.”
“!”
It was a face that seemed to have been carefully sculpted by God with good intentions. The luxurious and elegant face was looking at me with pity.
I looked at her with a stiff posture.
I looked at her jet-black hair and turquoise eyes.
I should correct this. It must have been created by the devil, not God.
Otherwise, such a fascinating human being would not exist.
It is clear that the devil created it to tempt humans.
A pair of wicked eyes that shook people’s hearts looked at me.
He spoke to me in a voice that was sweet yet deadly, full of sullenness.
“Oh, are you hurt? He won’t listen… Isn’t that terrible?”
I saw myself.
The breathtakingly beautiful woman smiled, but I had no idea what her smile meant.
It was the same person… and even though they had the same face as me, I couldn’t tell them apart, so I was nervous.
A woman who looked the same but somehow seemed colder approached me.
Her cold impression and the distant, seemingly unapproachable distance made her look even more beautiful.
“Hand.”
“?”
“Give me your hand.”
Even though he clearly knows that my body won’t move, he holds out his hand first as if teasing me and speaks.
You crazy bitch… I can’t move-
… ?
“Right.”
The arm that had not moved at all began to move. When I placed my hand on top of hers, she enveloped me in pitch-black magic.
“What, what is it… How… ?”
Before I knew it, I was able to speak. I looked at her, blinking in surprise.
Beatrice, Trixie Green… .
No, me.
“Long time no see.”
“… That’s right.”
“Theo… Is this your first time here?”
“……”
I thought back to the Dahlia mansion where I first met her. That was the last time.
The day I lost Theo, awakened to my powers, and committed my first murder.
“How far have you seen?”
“Just now?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know, I forgot everything. I don’t even want to remember.”
I’m serious.
The memories that have evaporated do not come to mind at all, but the remaining discomfort and gloomy feeling tell me that they are not very good memories.
So, it was actually fortunate that I forgot.
In response to my answer, the woman who looked exactly like me put her finger to her lips, as if trying to suppress the laughter that was about to escape.
Pabat- With a sound, a black flame appeared from her hand. The dark fire flickered over the ring on her finger. It was a simple gold ring on her ring finger.
No way… a wedding ring?
Just as I was about to wonder who the man wearing the exact same ring might be, she shot a black flame into the air.
Flash-
The world filled with gray was dyed in brilliant darkness.
A darkness as beautiful as the night sky filled every visible space.
As I was taking in the impressive sight, he spoke to me.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
“… Yeah. Beautiful.”
“It’s our power. It’s ours alone.”
As she said, it is our strength.
The power of the royal family, magic, darkness… I don’t know how to express it properly. What is certain is that only that power saved me.
There was no light or god. No matter how much I prayed, no one listened.
Thanks to that, I finally gained my strength after losing my younger brother… after giving up on everything.
With that strength, I came this far.
“The gray of the border cannot drive away our darkness.”
“I see… .”
He nodded as if he understood. I didn’t understand exactly what he meant, but I thought it meant that we were stronger.
“There’s no need to cry out his name pathetically.”
“Who, who cried out!”
My face turned hot.
“Who are you? It’s you. Shall I tell you what it was like? I’ll follow along, since we happen to look alike.”
“No!”
Kuk kuk- I tried to recreate the frozen look I had for a while while laughing. Before my dark past came back to life vividly, I hurriedly stopped her.
“But I know how you felt.”
She smiled. Her eyes were just like the ones I sometimes see when I look in the mirror.
“What, what do you know? Don’t get me wrong.”
I looked around in a hurry.
“Your feelings for Carl Maynor, the thrilling waves of emotions that go between heaven and hell… I know how we feel.”
“……”
“Only I know, that this emotion, purer and clearer than the snow in midwinter, is our true heart.”
No, that won’t happen. I’m not serious.
I just… somehow… while struggling in the world of this novel, I somehow ended up with the main character and fellow possessed person… .
Because feelings, sincerity, and such burdensome concepts don’t fit between us, and I just approached you to use you out of necessity… So don’t look at me with those eyes that say you know everything.
“Beatrice.”
“!?”
To my bewildered surprise, she suddenly called my name. My name and her name… .
“I once wanted to live as Beatrice de Dahlia.”
“Huh?”
“… I wanted to remain an ordinary noble lady of the Academy, not Princess Trixie Green.”
“Oh, no. We don’t deserve that… .”
“That’s right. No. Isn’t that the worst? You’re a worthless life that deserves to die, and you dare to throw away your revenge and duty.”
But the one who really felt the sting was me.
Sometimes, whenever I felt bored or depressed, I would overlook the happiness that I shouldn’t have.
Another me with the same face but a different vibe seemed to see right through it and scold it.
So I felt ashamed, miserable, and hopeless, as if my shame had been discovered by none other than myself.
“What do you want to be called? You have to choose in the end.”
“I, I… .”
“Say it.”
“… It’s Tricky Green.”
That’s a lie.
In fact, I want to throw off this burden. I want to shake it off freely.
I want to scream and cry. I just want to ask the author why he gave me this fate, why he put me in this world.
The turquoise eyes that were looking into my eyes smiled.
Her eyes seemed even brighter in the dark space.
“That’s amazing. But did you know that?”
“?”
She closed her eyes slightly and opened them again.
In that moment, a cold shadow fell over the smiling face.
“Kal hates Tricky Green. More specifically, the princess, Unknown… .”
“Ah, I know, something like that.”
“I don’t know.”
Her eyes, which could not be called affectionate, but were not aggressive, glared at me. She spoke with a face that was neat and pretty, almost cold. As if she was frustrated.
“You, at this time, are just ignoring me. In the end, you will incur the hatred of the sword.”
“No. Later, somehow… …take off your mask, and talk nicely… .”
She didn’t frown. She just looked at me with a complicated expression.
Thanks to this, I was able to realize that even though I was talking nonsense, I was just denying reality.
“Take off your mask?”
“Yeah.”
“Ta-da! The princess who is going to destroy the church, take Chloe away, and soon slaughter her colleagues at the Information Agency is me, you say?”
“… .”
“Can you hug a sinful woman like this? If I say, “I just need you,” will he accept it?”
“That, that’s it.”
A nightmare I’ve seen before came to mind.
Even though the content of the dream was slightly different, the face of the sword that looked at me with the same gaze of hatred…
In the end, I’m going to die by the sword. I think so. That’s why I keep having nightmares like this. Premonitions of things that will happen in the future.
“On the other hand, Karl likes Beatrice de Dahlia. The academy noble lady we’re playing.”
“… Really?”
“Yeah! Would you believe I would lie to myself?”
For a moment, the colors brightened. It felt as if a rope had been lowered down.
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