episode_0101

There were many reasons for the attraction, but it was not clear what those reasons were.

The reason could be anything, so the reasons for liking it were different.

There were times when I was attracted to people because they had aspects that resembled me, and there were also times when I was drawn to people because of aspects that I did not have. Therefore, it is correct to say that there is no standardized answer to a subjective problem.

I hope that our tastes are similar, our tendencies can be a little different, and even if they are conflicting, it is human psychology that we can say that it is good if it is attractive to us because we do not have it.

Maybe that’s why I started liking Veronica.

My house was wealthy.

He had sufficient financial resources and received ample support.

But there was no interest or love in that support.

Should I say that both dad and mom are workaholics? I was so focused on work that I never came home properly.

There were times when I was obsessed with working overtime, and there were times when I went on business trips and didn’t come back because I was working all the time. I go on overseas business trips and local business trips.

Considering that they didn’t even suspect that they were cheating on each other, it seemed like they had no intention of loving each other but got married to avoid the harsh gaze of those around them despite their mutual agreement.

And it seemed like he left me as proof of that.

I was lonely. I grew up with the help of a nanny from a young age, but before I knew it, I was alone again in a house that couldn’t have been so terribly cold.

Because I couldn’t make friends, my cold side was never filled.

From private kindergarten to high school.

The school I went to with great support couldn’t have been that competitive.

There was no such thing as a friend to soothe the crushing loneliness.

classmate? Everyone was just competition, not someone to build friendship with.

Most of their conversations during break time were about their sexuality, their parents’ salaries, and their home’s wealth.

Most of the time, he was bragging about where he lived in an apartment measuring a few pyeong, what company his father worked for, how much he earned, and what kind of car he drove.

After one or two conversations, a group was formed.

If you fell below average, you were marginalized and ridiculed, and if you were above average, you were likely to become the object of envy. Of course, their situation was different because they were not only objects of envy, but also envy, and sometimes children who were inferior to them tried to cling to them.

Yes, I have never encountered the friendship that I only saw on TV or in other cartoons.

Instead of friendship, they divided themselves into weight classes and then banded together to create a pyramid.

Because I didn’t like being alone, I once went inside part of the pyramid and stood at the top.

It was a truly strange situation.

If I had gone to another school, this situation wouldn’t have happened.

No, was it the same there?

I’m not sure, but I just had a subtle feeling.

In the end, no one was truly close.

Just as similar weight classes are grouped together in martial arts, the same was true for this group.

Once you leave school, can you really call a relationship like a stranger a friend?

I ended up never making any real friends.

I tried to get out of the extremely cold house and meet other people.

Since I had enough money, I started looking for other relationships from the moment I became an adult. I wanted to move around, spend money, and meet different people, and I was able to see that there are many different types of people.

As if to let me know that I had chosen the wrong school, I could see that people of similar weight classes were not just gathering together.

So, I thought that if I did well, I could make friends in this society, so I tried hard to make connections with people.

However, you gradually realize that the atmosphere of the people you are flocking to will change.

I am not a person who is driven around based on my weight class, but because I have something they want from me.

I stayed away from men who were openly targeting my body.

After that, when he pretended that he had no money, the person who was targeting his body got tired of it and left, and the person who was targeting his money realized that there was no sweet water and left to find another target.

Then, even if you want to pretend not to know, you will realize it.

The world was harsher than school.

Of course, the world I entered into may have been wrong from the beginning, but I thought it was already too late for my world to change, and in the end, I held on to money to adapt to that world.

All it takes is money. If you order expensive alcohol, even if it’s a woman, it’s bound to follow.

Because I told you that once you fawn, you can afford expensive alcohol.

Even women older than me get in front of me when I hit them with money.

That was the taste of money, the scent of a woman who did not pollute my body.

When I spent that money to hug the woman, I felt her body temperature for the first time.

The warmth that I couldn’t easily feel at home was like a drug, so I became more and more addicted to it.

Even though he was a woman, he hugged a woman. Because it was safe, there was nothing dirty, and there was no need to pollute me.

But gradually the relationship became estranged.

A relationship built on money could only be resolved through money.

However, as people’s greed grows, what could have been solved with a small amount of money suddenly had to cost a lot of money, and I quit because I did not see a good reason for it.

It goes away again.

Everything felt vain.

If I hadn’t lived like this from the beginning, wouldn’t I have been able to live in this cartoon-like world, and would I have been able to have a really fun time talking about being friends on that TV? I also thought of such meaningless what ifs.

However, knowing that it would not come true in the end, I gradually tried to escape reality.

What do you do when you have a lot of money? In the end, no one truly cares about me.

Maybe I was wrong from the beginning. Because my parents, who grew up without interest and love and only saw a life of living with money, were all I saw as an adult, and because I was placed in such an environment, I felt like I had adapted to it without being able to escape.

So, to escape reality, I turned to games.

It was really nice because everyone was honest in the game. I was able to see his true intentions, and even those intentions, except for a little bit of cowardice, seemed to be directed at me, so I thought it was attractive.

After that, I was dragged into this world, and I became a man, Kylon.

And then I faced Veronica, who had been dragged into this world just like me.

At first, I was glad that she was from the same country as me in this dark world of the game, but at the same time, I felt sorry for her because she was possessed by a saint who suffered due to the game’s setting and had to receive a narrative of salvation.

Yes, until then, I was a person who really didn’t care what happened. I just thought that we were in a relationship where I could enjoy it more and at the same time I could open up about my hometown.

But the more I learned, the more I felt a very subtle feeling.

Okay, since when did it start? I liked her smile and was drawn to her vibe.

And from the moment I learned about her past through hypnosis, I realized.

I saw how she was so distressed by what she had experienced at home that she ended up tearing and modifying her memories. I heard the voice of the woman who grew up alone at home, not with love but with drying attention.

I felt sympathy for that sight.

And that sympathy was also sent to me.

Because she was similar to me in that she did not receive any attention or love at home.

I was drawn to it because it was similar. I was moved by the thought that I felt so sorry for her.

And after looking at it closely, I became attracted to the idea that it was a little different from me.

Unlike me, who had lived a self-centered life, cutting out other things in a self-indulgent manner, the sight of her trying to be for someone else and just smiling behind my back was enough to captivate me.

Of course, I’m a little less sociable and tactless, but that’s not a drawback because other things stand out so much that it doesn’t matter.

She had nothing.

Like me, he grew up without love or attention. Furthermore, I lived without even having the things I had.

She had no money or freedom.

But even when she came to this world, she sacrificed herself. I gave up having it.

How can you not feel anything when you give up your own pleasure, give up your comfort, and jump into the battle line?

Over and over again, my attention was focused on her, who lived a life similar to mine but different from mine.

I couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

I felt really bad about waking up as a saint with a painful story, but even so, I felt like I knew why she woke up as a saint.

Who could say she is not a saint after seeing her giving up, giving up again, and giving up again to move forward?

I felt bad that she was giving up again when she never had anything, so I wanted her to have something.

But because she had never had anything, in the end she had nothing to desire.

I never wanted love or attention. So in the end, I selfishly started loving myself first.

She didn’t know what life she had led. Because I had already locked up the painful memories somewhere and tried not to bring them out.

So, I had to just say it was good without being able to bring up that memory.

From Veronica’s point of view, it could be said to be a sudden and vague confession of love, and although it could be seen as a feeling that moved on suddenly, it was still good.

I just kept quiet because I didn’t want her to be tormented by the memory.

I started loving selfishly.

Because I felt so sorry for you, pitied you, and wanted you to have more, I wanted to give you something, and for that, I wanted to love you.

Veronica was a loner.

It’s okay though. Because I’m lonely too.

So, right now, when we’re together, I hope you’re not alone.

Thinking like that, I hugged Veronica.

The warmth was more passionate than before, so I felt like all the cold past was melting away.

It was so cold when we were alone, but when we were together, it was so hot that even I felt like I was melting.

When I hugged her, I felt like I had become one with her.