episode_0099

My limbs hung limp and powerless, as if their circuits were cut.

It was hard to move, as if my body wouldn’t obey me, as if it had a will of its own and was rejecting me.

A strong pressure and burden felt on my shoulders, as if I were carrying a heavy load.

With focus already gone from my eyes, I wandered aimlessly wherever my feet took me, until I no longer even knew where I was.

Simply due to the fatigue and despair accumulated in my body, I plopped down and lowered my gaze, hanging my head.

And then, one drop, two drops, tears rolled down without me even realizing it.

Just as well, this was an isolated place where no one passed, so I could feel depressed without minding anyone else’s gaze.

Anyway, because of the magic placed on me, no one would perceive or remember the fact that I was here.

…After returning from the dungeon, I had caught suspicious circumstances regarding the person who took me in and raised me, Duke Axel Saan.

Because of that, while living as Princess Tiara Altareon for a while, I returned in the form of Meiru and investigated him.

By inversely using the recognition inhibition magic placed on me, I was able to learn a certain amount about the Duke without being detected.

And the result was unbelievably shocking.

First off… in the terrorist incident that occurred on the entrance ceremony day, there was help from Duke Saan Gongak as expected.

As it was an important entrance ceremony for the academy, he dispatched inspectors under the pretext of a preliminary investigation.

These were all trustworthy individuals guaranteed by the Emperor, but among the servants assisting them, agents of black mages were mixed in.

And the person who turned a blind eye to allow these agents to mix in, that is, the person who provided help, was none other than Duke Axel Saan himself.

Besides this, regarding the incident that occurred during the recent dungeon test… although clear evidence was not found, looking at his overheard remarks and the traces of torn and burned letters stamped with unpleasant seals, it was certain that the incident bore his mark.

Furthermore, as if it wasn’t over yet, ciphered letters still exchanged hands between Duke Saan and the black mages.

Witnessing all of this, the hole that had opened in my heart only grew larger without limit.

While following him, I was coincidentally able to enter a place where black mages were gathered.

It didn’t seem like the black mages’ headquarters, but nevertheless, there was a never-small number of people, and everyone’s eyes were shining with blind fanaticism.

They worshipped those who seemed like superiors as if they were gods, and if they wished, they would readily slit their own bellies and offer blood.

What made me most disgusted, more than anything, must be their cruel actions.

They killed animals, as well as other people, even including children, severely mutilated their corpses, and cast black magic.

And everyone looked at the horribly sacrificed corpses and let out bizarrely mocking laughter.

At that sight, I felt true terror and wanted to run away immediately.

….Crucially, Duke Saan, who was sitting nonchalantly and calmly in the center of it all.

Completely different from the warm appearance he usually showed, his indifferent and emotionless gaze completely shattered my feelings.

Even though I had personally found and confirmed such suspicious evidence, deep down I still held onto hope.

Perhaps he too was acting under duress due to threats or unavoidable reasons?

Because I didn’t want to believe the fact that he was an evil person, who took me in when I had no family or friends, including parents, and raised me without want.

Therefore, the investigation, which I had actually started wanting to find his innocence, instead became an opportunity to learn about all his disgusting flaws.

In such circumstances, a heavy despair and chilling fear that crushed my entire body gradually began to whisper to me.

Is there any need to stop them? The sweet whispers telling me to abandon everything and just run away.

Anyway, with the curse-like recognition inhibition magic, no one will recognize or remember me.

They won’t even know the fact that I turned away from the black mages and Duke Saan and ran away.

I don’t know what they will do to the world, but at least for a while, I might be able to live quietly by myself.

Or perhaps there might be a way to accept the unavoidable fate by willingly becoming their loyal dog…

In the first place, I am merely an ordinary person with no power, wearing the mask of a princess.

The fact that others don’t remember my true self? The fact that I can see through others’ emotions to some extent?

What use are any of those things?

Any longer… there is no reason… no motivation to resist.

Perhaps because I had been moving for a while without proper rest and witnessed many disgusting and dirty acts?

My worn-out body and mind gradually could not resist the sordid temptation and were only led by it.

And the point in time has now reached the present, returning to this dark and damp back alley.

“…Just… give up… everything…?

Such words popped out of my mouth without me realizing it.

Ah, maybe this really is… the limit…

In that moment, a stream of bright light stung my eyes.

“Meiru! Isn’t that Meiru?

I’ve been looking for you ever since I got out of the dungeon anyway!

What were you doing here?”

..! Now, in this situation, I ended up encountering the person I absolutely didn’t want to meet.

The only man in this world who remembers and recognizes me, Rophel Teufel.

Because I had been thinking weak thoughts just now, I was embarrassed and couldn’t properly face him.

“Uh…? Ah.. Rophel.. How did you get here..? No.. not that.. Hello..?”

“…? What’s wrong, Meiru,,? Are you troubled about something..?”

“Well.. sorry.. I just had some.. things to think about alone.

It’s nothing big, so don’t worry.”

Forcing a smile and replying, I hurried to leave.

Now that I had become so depressed, I was afraid of what I might show beside him, so I couldn’t even bring myself to look up at his face.

“Wait, Meiru. Can we talk just a little, just a little more?”

*Tuk*, and my hand was caught by him.

“It’s really nothing. I’m just not feeling well today. No need to worry…”

“Meiru.”

His hand gripping mine tightly wouldn’t let go.

…It was a somewhat stubborn action, unlike his usual self.

Such behavior of his, while truly upsetting, I was also grateful for.

Soon after, I returned and sat beside him.

“…What happened..?”

“…”

There was no way I could answer him.

He wouldn’t possibly believe the fact that Duke Axel Saan, the country’s chancellor, was playing a major role in the black mages’ terrorist incident targeting the academy.

Even if he were to believe it, having heard this, he would fall into great danger, unlike me.

“I see.. It seems it’s something you can’t tell me…”

He accepted my silence and replied as if he understood well.

And as if there was no need to push, he quietly placed his hand over mine and enveloped it.

…Cowardly.

“That’s right, now that I think about it, something like that did happen~..”

He started bringing up trifling stories, like how it was really a big deal in the dungeon back then, and what kind of funny things happened afterwards, and so on.

And with those trifling stories, my dried-up heart and will momentarily regained warmth.

…Truly cowardly.

Because it is clear that even this will soon collapse and grow cold again.

And this temporary joy is… cooperating in slowly eroding me.

Perhaps the reason I was able to forcefully endure until now was because of the happy memories I could gain when I was with him.

Paradoxically, his existence, like a single ray of light, was instead injecting me with false hope and causing me pain.

This will endlessly repeat forever… if I stay with him…

“Sorry, Rophel.. From now on.. From now on, don’t come near me.”

“..What are you talking about all of a sudden..?”

I… finally decided to reject Rophel.

I don’t know in what direction my life will flow from now on.

But no matter which way it goes, excluding his existence will be helpful to both me and him.

“Don’t pretend to know me anymore.. In the first place.. you don’t even really know who I am…!

You don’t know what kind of life I’ve lived, or what I usually do either…

Yet you always cling to me as if we’re close.. It’s really unpleasant…!”

Like that, I endlessly poured out words I didn’t mean.

..As expected, my heart is not at ease.

I know that breaking up with him in this way is not right, but I can’t help it.

No matter who he is.. he cannot soothe this pain and sorrow of mine forever.

Just as he injects me with false hope, I too will forever steal the light from him with my melancholic appearance.

Therefore, I… will be forgotten forever from the life of the only person who recognized me.

That is what I must have resolved.

But…

“…Still, you can at least accept my gift, can’t you?”

“A gift..?”

“It’s a ring, I made it myself for you.”

At those rather abrupt words, I was flustered.

“What..? What all of a sudden?

You don’t even know my size in the first place, how could you..?”

“Haha, why ask such a thing.”

Along with his gentle reply, both of my hands were enveloped and held by his hands.

And clasped together, they were warmly stacked, and I could feel his body temperature and touch just as they were.

Even though I had just resolved to push him away, I couldn’t shake it off.

“Like this.. your hands that I’ve held so many times.

There’s no way I wouldn’t know.”

Along with that reply, the ring he made himself was slipped onto my finger.

According to him, it was exactly the right size for my finger.

Along with that, the sparkle of the green gemstone reflecting subtle beams of light.

The rare gemstone, Metaphase, and its meaning, I know.

Its meaning originating from the myth of the mysterious giant tree, the World Tree, in the northern land of Northland.

‘Eternal Love’

“As you said, I still don’t know you very well, Meiru.

Although we meet and talk often, I don’t even know what kind of food you like, or what kind of music you like.

But precisely because of that… I want to get to know you more in the future.

We can cry and laugh together and build countless memories with each other, can’t we.

Like that, your existence… I want to engrave deeply in my life forever.”

“Wh..What are you talking about.. I.. I told you.. to stay away from me from now on..!”

“Yes, you certainly said that.

But it might sound a little selfish… I don’t want to give up on you.

At least not until you genuinely reject me.”

The green gemstone shining proudly on his finger, likewise, the man’s face smiling precisely at her.

Along with him, I felt a bright light warmly enveloping the surroundings, including me.

The single ray of light that had pierced the darkness had somehow grown massive and was brightly illuminating every corner of the back alley.

One drop, two drops. Again, tears rolled down.

It was not tears of sorrow or sadness.

It was clearly tears of joy.

Foolish.

Truly foolish.

No motivation to resist?

No reason not to run away?

Even though he, who looked at me and remembered me, was so close, I foolishly hadn’t realized it.

Reasons and motivations were overflowing and more than enough.

As soon as Rophel finished speaking, I jumped into his arms with all my might without realizing it.

And he too, without being flustered, opened his arms and hugged me with warm affection.

He accepted me with his broad chest, supported my waist with his sturdy arms, and quietly stroked my head.

No longer did the thought of rejecting him remain in my heart; it vanished completely.

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. Rophel..! I.. I was so anxious… so lonely…!”

Perhaps because my emotions were too overwhelming, I couldn’t even remember what I was blurting out.

But one thing, one clear fact, I could know.

On this day, I, Meiru, was accepted for the first time, and could accept.

Along with the fleeting love shining in the darkness.