episode_0099

There’s something my brother always tells me.

Sometimes serious, sometimes playful.

Words that are always full of sincerity.

Our Ye-eun doesn’t have to be good at studying.

I hope you grow up to be good and healthy.

But what am I doing?

It’s obvious that my brother is angry because of me.

My parents are worried about me and my brother.

I feel like everything is a mess because of me.

What on earth should I do from now on?

I was sitting on the bed, quietly thinking.

Last year when I was busy playing with my friends.

I remembered what my brother had said to me when he came into my room.

My brother’s expression was more serious than usual, so I listened to what he said.

I know it’s good to hang out with friends, but you shouldn’t put that ahead of your family.

It will only be a short time with friends. Of course, some friends may become lifelong friends.

If you think about our family, there’s a very high chance that it won’t be what you think.

When I heard that, I wanted to confront my brother right away, but I couldn’t.

My brother’s expression was more serious than ever.

At least my brother never talked nonsense to me when my father wasn’t around.

Did my brother at that time know that the same situation would happen now?

Of course not.

When I first asked why my brother was avoiding me, I should have given him a proper explanation.

I didn’t answer, which made my brother misunderstand, and in the end, I ended up crumpling his school uniform on my own.

Although it’s true that at first I pretended not to know so as not to bother my brother.

I knew full well that it was my fault and not my superior brother who was in this situation.

Like my brother said, I should have prioritized my family over my friends. But at some point, I stopped prioritizing my family.

I promised myself to apologize sooner rather than later.

I heard my mother’s voice calling me, asking if it was time for dinner.

When I went into the kitchen, I saw the family already sitting at the table.

My brother didn’t even look at me because he was really angry. He didn’t look at me once until we finished dinner.

I promised myself to apologize, but after dinner and as I was going to my brother’s room, I was afraid to talk to him.

What if my brother doesn’t accept my apology? Does he already hate me?

I wanted to apologize, but when I actually stood in front of the door, I didn’t have the courage to knock.

In the end, I failed to apologize to my brother on the first day.

The next day I went to school and told my friends.

Actually, I didn’t fight with you. I was just worried that you guys would act friendly to you.

My brother treats me kindly if I’m his friend, but I hope you don’t take advantage of that.

To be honest, I wish kids who don’t know me wouldn’t pay attention to my brother.

I finally feel relieved.

I was fully prepared to become estranged from my friends because of this incident, but more than anything, I couldn’t forget the angry look on my brother’s face.

I regretted not doing this a long time ago, and realized once again that what my brother said was never wrong.

***

I’ve already become estranged from some of the kids, and I don’t regret it at all, but I still need to apologize to my most important brother.

I just couldn’t find the courage.

Today, I was lying in my room, thinking about how to apologize, when I heard a knock on the door.

“Yeeun-ah. Can I come in?”

As soon as I heard Sae-ah’s voice, I opened the door.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I think I know why my sister came.

“I heard that Ye-eun avoids Jae-hoon. The Jae-hoon you know would never have done anything wrong to Ye-eun first, right? Won’t you tell me?”

As I heard my sister’s soft voice, I told her everything that had happened.

And I want to apologize to my brother, but I’m scared to actually apologize.

“Yeeun-ah. Jaehoon will forgive you right away if you explain to him why you did that and sincerely apologize.”

“Why? I didn’t even pretend to know you, I even crumpled your uniform and kept avoiding you?”

“Um… Ye-eun. Do you know what Jae-hoon values the most?”

“Computer?”

“Pfft! The reason why you can’t touch the computer is because the computer is mining or something like that. The thing that Jaehoon values the most is his family.”

“Family?”

“Yeah. Mom and Ye-eun. And dad too.”

“But I want to apologize, but I’m scared, so I can’t do it.”

“Why?”

“Whenever I see you, I keep thinking about your angry face and I feel like I’m going to get angry.”

“Then, how about apologizing without looking at Jaehoon’s face and writing a letter?”

“Write a letter to your brother?”

“Yeah. But you still have to explain the reason. Even if it’s brief, wouldn’t it be okay to just apologize directly and write down the reason?”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Thanks, sis.”

“Okay. I’ll tell Jaehoon well. Don’t be too late. Okay? ”

“Yeah.”

My sister smiled, patted my head once, and left the room.

I was able to sleep a little more comfortably than yesterday, promising myself that I would definitely stop by the stationery store tomorrow to buy some stationery and write a letter and apologize.

***

I came out much earlier than usual.

On the way to school, I stopped by a stationery store and bought some stationery. I must have arrived too early, so I started writing a letter in an empty classroom.

Somehow I ended up avoiding my brother and ended up doing this and that and even crumpling up my school uniform.

I’m really sorry and I will never do this again. I didn’t want to be distant from you, and I really regret it every single day.

I want to continue to get along well with my brother, and I’m really sorry that I don’t have the courage to say it in person, so I’m writing this in a letter.

I folded the letter carefully and put it in my bag. I waited for the evening to come, thinking that I would apologize and hand over the letter that evening.

After school was over and I was in my room eating dinner, when my parents were out of the living room, I knocked on the door to my brother’s room and heard his voice telling me to come in.

I didn’t have the courage to look at my brother’s face, so I bowed my head and apologized.

“Oppa. Sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m just sorry for everything.”

“So why is that?”

I was surprised by my brother’s emotionless voice and couldn’t answer.

“…..”

“Okay. Go out.”

I left the room without giving him the letter I had put in my pocket to give to him.

It was my fault. I shouldn’t have cried, but I did.

My brother has never once spoken to me like that.

Not having the courage to go back into the room, I pushed the letter into the gap under the door and headed to my room.

I promised myself never to disappoint my brother again.

***

Even though Ye-eun apologized and left, I couldn’t understand her at all.

An apology is an act of receiving forgiveness for one’s mistakes.

Rather than just saying sorry, you should at least explain why you did that.

I thought that I raised Ye-eun well in terms of her character when she was young.

Could it be that my education was wrong?

After tossing and turning for a while and not being able to fall asleep, I got out of bed to drink some water.

An envelope left in front of the door?

The only person who can give me a letter is Sae-ah.

I took the letter out of the envelope and opened it. It was full of stationery.

As I sat back down on the bed and started reading the letter, I realized why Ye-eun had pretended not to know me.

And why did you have to wrinkle the school uniform?

Eventually, I realized that it was because I resembled my mother and had been maintaining my appearance consistently.

I didn’t know I was that popular at school.

When I actually read Ye-eun’s letter, I understood why she was saying it.

For Ye-eun, who was only in her first year of middle school, everything must have been burdensome.

It would have been difficult to speak firmly to your friends, and not everyone can draw the line with strangers.

It’s possible for me because I’ve regressed, and it probably wouldn’t have been easy when I was in the first year of middle school in my previous life.

At some point, I started to feel suffocated whenever I saw Ye-eun, so I started treating her coldly.

Thinking that it was all for nothing, I went out to the living room and drank some water.

As I lay down on the bed, I was able to fall into a comfortable sleep, thinking that I had indeed raised my younger sibling well.

***

The awkwardness with Ye-eun got better with each passing day, and after almost a month, we were able to be friendly with each other like before.

As my relationship with Ye-eun improved and I started going to school without any worries, a battle between three electric heaters and an air conditioner broke out in my room again.

Soon after, the last summer vacation of middle school arrived, and I went on a summer vacation or a fishing vacation with my in-laws.

In the room where the dazzling 3 vs. 1 showdown unfolds, I also have a date with Sae-ah and Oh-sun-do.

Summer vacation is over soon.

As I was going to school again, the season of 3 vs. 1 competitions came to an end and Chuseok was approaching.

The Chuseok holiday, which was no different from the one we experience every year, has passed, and it is now the season when the three heaters can do their part.

Mining, which used to be done only with central processing units (CPUs), has now become unnecessary as the profit is minimal no matter how much you mine with the introduction of graphic cards (GPUs).

Rather than saving on electricity bills, I replaced the hard disks of three computers with the hard disks I had purchased in advance and put them in the safe, since it would be more profitable to buy coins once the exchange was established.

Families who were satisfied with their improved computers were able to trade in their high-performance computers for the ones they had at home.

As winter came, my homeroom teacher asked me if I was thinking about applying to a foreign language high school, international high school, or private high school.

When I told my homeroom teacher that I had no intention of going to high school, she was shocked.

As I was going to school like that, the last winter break of middle school came.

Another Christmas party was held at home.

It was a happy and joyful Christmas for everyone, with the ladies receiving watches as a group gift using Grandpa’s card and Sae-ah and her older sister getting matching couple padding.

Soon, it was 2011 and I was 17 years old.

Now that I graduate, I can take a year off from school.

The day I had longed for, hoped for, and hoped for has finally arrived.