episode_0098

A chilly temperature. Only pitch-blackness remained in the room. Though it had been a vibrant, bustling space just a short while ago, dawn had somehow arrived, plunging it into complete stillness. Through the faint darkness, only a candle flickered precariously. Perhaps it was autumn outside the window. A landscape resembling a dying season. On the ground, where even the slightest starlight did not penetrate, a single rose bloomed forlornly. Its petals looked as if they would wither at any moment.

“……” After the treatment ended. The girl, left alone, had been tossing and turning in her blanket. Although a long time had passed since her surroundings fell silent, the voice still lingered in Rose’s ears. It was a few words spilled by the snake. -You are afraid. The chilly voice dug into her wounds. Her heart churned loudly. She slowly raised her body from the bed. As she stood on her weak legs, a sudden dizziness struck her head hard. The girl seemed to stumble without any resistance.

-Will that be enough for you? Words that pierced unusually deep. The words, embedded like thorns, wouldn’t leave, constantly causing an annoying pain. Yet, the auditory hallucinations stuck in her consciousness only grew worse. -Princess Charlotte will be saddened. -Because she cherishes you. -What will you do if she truly leaves? The treacherous tongue spoke. Of the lonely fate of being left all alone. -If that happens, truly no one will be left by your side.

When she heard those words. Elize felt her breath catch for a moment. ‘My sister… is leaving?’ The only person who sought her out on this lonely star. Someone who hid tenderness behind sleepy eyes. A foolish person who, despite being wounded by sharp thorns every time, never gave up on her ailing younger sister. Such a person leaving. ‘……That’s what I wanted.’ She mumbled to herself with effort. As if it wasn’t a problem. Because she had wanted this outcome from the beginning.

Elize knew. How devoted her sister was to her. Though she wanted to act spoiled, she knew it was simply not allowed. For reality was cruel.

-At most, one year from now. Five years ago. The terminal diagnosis she received at a young age. Despite the Little Prince’s every effort, Rose’s premature death was as good as a predetermined end. That day, the younger sister saw her older sister’s tears for the first time. -My sister… is struggling because of me. The girl realized belatedly. How much of a burdensome weight her existence, always only receiving, was to her sister. Her sister’s suppressed sobs were especially distressing. As if she had ruined the sister who had always shone so brightly. Feeling guilty over her sister’s tears, Rose could no longer stay by the Little Prince’s side. She had run away.

-I have to distance myself from my sister. So that her sister wouldn’t hurt. So that she might even hate her. So that even if she closed her eyes tomorrow, no ugly mark would be left on her sister’s kind heart. Rose decided to push the Little Prince away. -It’s all… because I’m bad. It was foolish. Because she was young. She chose to sever their relationship to avoid causing pain. Rose’s thorns had such a reason. However, what she overlooked was that her sister’s devotion could not be stopped by something so trivial. The Little Prince kept approaching, even as her fingertips were cut repeatedly.

-Please, just leave me alone. The younger sister trying to push away. The older sister trying to hold on. Their terrible relationship worsened over time, eventually leading to the present. The one year she had heard from the doctor had long since passed. But. It didn’t sound like hope. Rather, it was merely an extension of hell. Rose was like a slowly wilting petal. Her condition, once it began to worsen, never improved, and with each passing day, the pain of the curse tormented her cruelly. She was just barely surviving each day, clinging to life.

-Cough, cough…! The curse made everyone suffer. The younger sister screamed daily in horrific pain. The older sister’s eyes welled up with tears at the fact that there was nothing she could do. Even amidst this, neither of their stubborn wills showed any sign of breaking. The girl, chewing over old memories, soon mumbled to herself with self-derision. “I… I did everything to push her away.” It should have been a relief. Just as the snake had said. If he persuaded her sister to turn her back on her, Rose would certainly feel much more at ease. Yes. That’s certainly how it should have been. “Why then?” Is she so tormented now? Though it was the person she had pushed away for several years, thinking that she would truly disappear made her head ache. Her throbbing chest made it difficult to breathe. “Haa… Urgh.” The reason was simple. Just as the rose in the fairy tale, what she hid behind her thorns was love. Just as not everything pointed is hatred. Not everything round is love, and sometimes even hatred can be round. In the girl’s case, it was thorny love. So how could she be happy? The current situation must have been far from the true feelings she had hidden between her petals. She merely bit her lip in alienation.

‘My head hurts.’ She felt choked. Clasping her constricted chest, her thoughts now drifted in a deeper direction. It was a fundamental question. ‘Why.’ Why did it have to be her, of all people? A curse from God. An incurable disease that afflicts only two or three people in a century. What sin had she harbored at birth to bear such a heavy punishment on her back? The deep shadow asked. ‘Did it have to be me…?’ Simultaneously, memories of her unfortunate life and a sense of revulsion began to creep up. It was sharply-honed hatred. Ten years spent neither living nor dying. The time she was abandoned by her father, lost her place in the world, and continued a horrific struggle with illness. She was terribly lonely. ‘An outcast.’ She had no intention of denying it. No. Rather, she agreed. Because it had been such a life from the beginning. Looking back on the past years, no one had stood by her side. The girl often thought. Rather. Shouldn’t she have never been born?

“Cough…!” A sudden cough erupted. Her vision blurred. She thought it had been quiet for a while, but a seizure was clearly flaring up again. Elize fumbled through a nearby shelf. *Thud.* What her fingertips grasped was none other than a pocketknife. The girl unwrapped the bandage around her wrist, then immediately pressed the blade against the exposed skin. Immediately after, her flesh was cut. *Slice.* A new mark was carved over countless scars. A stinging pain colored her entire arm, and soon after, the pain of the seizure subsided. It was a temporary measure. *Drip, drip.* Life dripping red. Dark crimson roses bloomed on the floor.

“……” The girl was silent for a moment, then began to move the knife again. She calmly traced lines on her soft skin. An indescribable sense of liberation. The wounds stung and burned, but the pain-relieving effect was sweet enough to warrant it. She carved line after line, as if possessed. -Do you truly wish for such an end? Just then, the auditory hallucination resumed. She bit her lip tightly. Soon, Rose unwrapped the bandage from her other arm as well. As she fearlessly painted with the ‘flower sap’, transparent droplets fell onto it. They were tears.

‘When will it end?’ When will this miserable breath finally cease? With such thoughts, she recklessly applied the knife. Drawing long lines on the white canvas, and as droplets of blood beaded in the crevices, she felt as if the seizure subsided for a moment. Because of this, she couldn’t escape this addictive pain. As if it affirmed a brief respite even in her trash-like life. *Thud.* Her legs gave out. Elize, slumping where she stood, numbly repeated the same action. Petals falling in a steady rhythm. Soon, the surrounding floor was filled with beautiful roses. The girl looked at the garden she had created, and then, as if overcome with even more emotion, she sobbed out tears. Even amidst that, her eyes were dead. “H-hic… Urgh.” Drowning in a distant fragrance. Her vision blurred.

-I don’t have any desire to live. In truth. She didn’t want to die. She hated the agony of her insides being torn apart, the seizures that came every dawn, and the hemoptysis that stained her sleeves red. She wished the pain would stop. But she knew it was impossible. Because as long as she bore this curse, she couldn’t escape it until she died. Droplets of dew fell one by one. *Slice, slice.* The sound continued for a while. Her appearance was a mess. Perhaps thinking her arms were sufficiently damaged, she now reached for the bandage wrapped around her neck. Just as she was about to touch her neck, covered in blood.

“Your Highness.” *Wrap!* Arms embraced her from behind. She struggled in her bewilderment, but the firm body held Elize tightly. A gentle voice whispered in her ear. “Shh… It’s alright.” Familiar hands. The boy who had been teasing and taunting her for the past few days. When she turned her head, dull blonde hair came into view. “It’s all alright. Because I’m here……” The warmth enveloping her shoulders. Rose, who had been filled with coldness, slowly lost her strength as if melting into the embrace. *Clatter!* In the end, she dropped the knife. “Good. Just like this.” The snake continued to stroke her hair. It seemed to be waiting for her to calm down. As if accepting that intention, Elize soon stopped resisting. Only then did the boy draw a smile on his lips. “Rest comfortably.” The two of them sat there for a while. Leaning on each other’s warmth, slowly dispelling the chilly air.

***

After a short while, when the agitated atmosphere had settled. We sat facing each other. It was a distance so close their breaths mingled, but no awkward atmosphere flowed between them. It was merely physical contact for treatment. I was applying bandages to her scarred arm.

“……” Elize extended her arm silently. Her wrist was truly a mess. It was impossible to tell how many years she had been doing this, but countless marks remained besides those freshly carved today. The parts where scars were concentrated had even changed the texture of her skin. I swallowed a bitter taste. I carefully wiped away the spreading red blood, then spread disinfectant over the countless lacerations. Rose didn’t even blink, despite it surely stinging quite a bit. Having lived with the curse for nearly her entire life, perhaps ordinary pain no longer evoked any reaction in her. She seemed like a broken doll.

“Your Highness.” “……” Her green eyes gazed this way. Although her focus seemed to have drifted, I didn’t mind and persisted in speaking to her. Because she was surely listening.

“As your primary physician, I will speak.” There was much to discuss, one way or another. “Didn’t I tell you not to hurt yourself?” “……” “I understand your reliance on the pain-relieving effect. However, it’s not good for your mental health and negatively impacts your body’s recovery.” Words delivered like an earnest warning. As she took in every word of the nagging, it wasn’t long before I brought up the main point I had postponed. Their gazes met appropriately in the air. Her blinking green eyes. Perhaps due to exhaustion, her usual venomous gaze was gone, leaving only a deeply submerged look. I was seeing through the longing beyond those pupils.

“Your Highness.” I needed an opportunity like this. A moment when she was mentally shaken, when her sharp thorns had lowered. “I will ask you one last time.” My face moved closer. After sharing a brief gaze, I took the girl’s chin and lifted her head. A distance where I could feel her breath directly. Unspoken breaths mingled between our lips. As I positioned myself almost touching, a smile suddenly bloomed on my lips. I asked directly. “Do you not wish to live?” This time, a proposal she couldn’t refuse.