episode_0098

I look back on my memories again and again.

Where on earth did the misfortune begin, and what went wrong?

Even God probably doesn’t know.

I can’t think of an answer. But I keep thinking about it. I know that no matter how much time I give it, I won’t be able to find it, but I keep thinking about it.

Hoping someone will save me… … .

*

My first memory was my parents’ funeral.

I don’t know for sure, but the atmosphere around there was very heavy. Some people were crying, some were silent, and sometimes even laughter could be heard. While everyone there was depressed, Seraman was just quiet as usual.

That’s because at such a young age, they can’t understand what death is.

‘… … .’

I only vaguely felt that they were good people. They might have been the kindest and most virtuous people in the world. However, I couldn’t recall any feelings because my memories of living with them were vague.

Perhaps only time will allow us to understand.

But it wasn’t just the passage of time that made Sera realize the reality of her parents’ death. It was the change in the atmosphere of the kindergarten she had been in while attending the funeral.

The person was not new.

It’s not like the teacher has changed.

It’s not like anything has changed that much.

The kids there were just jealous of their friend not having to go to kindergarten, so they were just playing little pranks.

It was a simple prank, just stealing a toy that Sera had.

If I had just gotten angry at that time, the misfortune might not have happened, and maybe if I had just cried, everyone might have been embarrassed.

If he had just acted like a normal kid, nothing would have happened.

But Seo-ra didn’t respond at all. She just stared blankly into space with a blank expression.

‘What, what are you?’

The children looked at Sera strangely. Maybe because she was still young, she found her appearance strange. So they all felt uncomfortable. And naturally, they started to harass the girl little by little.

At first, the intensity wasn’t that strong. To someone who didn’t know, it would just seem like a game. However, as time went by, it gradually caused Sera a lot of pain.

Adults didn’t step in and stop them. They only scolded them when they thought they had gone too far, but the kids would just keep bullying them again anyway.

I thought Sera was okay. I thought she wouldn’t mind being teased like that. But time only teaches us the feeling of pain.

A small but definite awl pierced the girl’s chest.

And yet, we always lived together.

‘… … .’

One day.

Sera, who had gradually become accustomed to the bullying, entered the empty house as usual. The atmosphere felt heavy for no reason.

That day.

Just like that funeral back then.

Even though I couldn’t hear any crying or even that peculiar breathing sound, I felt that way strangely.

The only guardians who cared for the girl were her grandfather and grandmother. She had no relatives, and no one she knew. So the two of them went out to work to earn money.

So the only family I had left was my older brother, who was also out at a young age looking for a way to make money.

They were all good people, but apart from that, Sera was always alone.

It’s time to get used to it now. With that thought in mind, I put my bag down on the floor and climbed onto the bed.

The only soft bed in the house. Naturally, the owners were the grandfather and grandmother.

I thought to myself childishly for a moment, “I’m the master until someone comes anyway.”

When I lay down on the bed, I could feel a soft and fluffy sensation that I had not felt often. Sera was dazed for a moment, then wrapped the blanket around her entire body like a bug. Then she closed her eyes.

I felt a moment of peace. It really felt like there was no one around me, and for some reason, it felt comforting.

I hope that continues.

But I could tell that it was impossible. As the thought suddenly occurred to me, I held my breath for a moment without a single error.

‘Why doesn’t it work?’

I can’t be happy?

Everyone wants to be happy. And everyone has an ideal life that they want to live.

So, in this empty place, I asked for the first time with such emotion. There was no answer, but I could feel it.

Sera hugged the soft blanket tightly.

The soft sensation enveloped me a bit more.

‘What the hell is the problem?’

The kids in her class once said that Sera, who always had a blank expression, had no emotions. In reality, she never got irritated or even expressed her dissatisfaction. Not even to her family.

But no matter how emotionless she seemed to live, Seo-ra wasn’t a psychopath. She was just an ordinary girl who could be anywhere.

More precisely, she was the girl who should have been.

The funeral home incident came to mind. Just like now, it was a situation where I could feel a heavy atmosphere somewhere.

It wasn’t a very detailed memory, but I could remember the person next to me.

My older brother stood still, wiping away tears. It was as if he had known that misfortune was about to strike. Looking around, the atmosphere was similar.

Maybe he was the only one who didn’t realize it at the time.

Memories of bullying by kids came to mind. Those unpleasant people who pretended to be friends and poked you in the waist or head. Those who openly hit you with their palms. The most annoying of them all were those who talked badly about you.

A tangled web of misfortunes comes to mind, starting from nowhere.

The emotions I felt back then suddenly rise to the surface.

Seo-ra wanted to organize her thoughts neatly, but for some reason her head was in disarray. Something was tugging at her, and she felt extremely sick.

‘What did I do wrong?’

At that time, he did not cry. He may not have understood the emotion, or he may have just held it in. He himself does not know what the answer is.

‘why…….’

Imagine yourself being happy. There, your brother is smiling and happily going to school, your grandma and grandpa are just playing with you at home, and in the middle of it all, your mom and dad are always working hard together and comforting you.

A story that may or may not have really happened.

‘parents…….’

Only then was I able to recall what I was lacking. Then, I felt like my headache had completely disappeared. I felt like something inside had been sorted out. However, I felt like an even more unpleasant sensation was coming.

Without realizing it, strength entered my fingertips.

He opened his mouth in a trembling voice, unusually suppressing his anger.

“Mom… Dad… … . Why… … . Why on earth… … !”

They are people I don’t even remember. But I know better than anyone that they are the ones I need the most. That’s why I hate this situation right now.

It was as if all the emotions I had been holding back were bursting out. Only then did I fully understand the situation at the funeral.

It was only then that Yoo Seo-ra realized the depth of her parents’ death.

“I… … didn’t do anything… … . I just stayed still… … . I really… … . I really stayed still… … !”

I think about the beginning of all misfortunes. But I still can’t understand what the fundamental problem is. I just curse why I’m the only one in this situation. When I imagine a happy situation, tears well up in my eyes.

“Why… … only me… … . I… … I just… … . Just… … .”

A small voice echoed throughout the house. Sera cried without anyone noticing, and even screamed shamefully.

But the more I did that, the more my heart ached. I just lay on the bed with tears streaming down my face.

Maybe I’ve been holding back my emotions so that I wouldn’t be like this. Because this situation feels so damning and I feel so helpless. That’s why I’ve been putting all my emotions away in a box in the corner without anyone knowing.

That’s what it was.

That’s why I held back.

“Mom… … . Dad… … .”

Tears are flowing.

Now, an unavoidable emotion was rushing towards Sera. Since she couldn’t avoid it, she just wrapped the blanket around herself tighter.

CLANG!

I was so surprised that I stood up in surprise.

At some point, the door suddenly opened, as if someone had entered the house. Seora, who was flustered by the sudden situation, immediately got out of the blanket.

My brother was standing there.

“Brother… … .”

For a moment, he looked around, not understanding the situation. Then, the first thing he saw was the bed he had soiled.

“Mi, sorry… … . I’ll suck it myself. Sorry… … . Sorry… … .”

I tried to stand up from where I was standing, holding back tears. I was planning to pack the blanket and sheets and do the laundry, but my brother came over to me without saying anything.

I wondered if he was going to scold me. I closed my eyes slightly at that thought.

But there was no pain, and instead, I felt a warm sensation like a blanket.

When I opened my eyes, my brother was talking to me with small tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry… … . I’m sorry for not caring for you. I’m sorry for not taking care of you. I’m sorry for you. Everything… … I’m sorry.”

I could hear a faint but trembling voice. It was hard to understand what exactly he was sorry about. All I could hear was an apology.

“If I… … . If I had more power. If I had. If I, I… … !”

My brother kept mumbling something. Maybe he knew the root cause of this misfortune, unlike me. If not, why did he keep apologizing?

Sera tried to keep her expressionless face as usual.

But, maybe it was the aftereffects of the emotions I had let out earlier, but for some reason, more tears flowed down.

So the girl also opened her mouth.

“Why… … . Why… … . Oppa, why… … . Why me… … !”

I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I just kept talking because my mouth wouldn’t close. My brother responded to that and apologized even more. He kept saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” and hugged me tightly, continuing to apologize.

Even though there was no back and forth conversation, just the act of expressing sadness made the two connect.

I don’t want anything.

I just want to be happy with my family from now on.

I want to end this suffering now.

I made that wish.

Together with everyone, I want to live the happy life I imagined.

It wasn’t long before Grandma and Grandpa returned and saw the sight.

That day.

At that time, the whole family was in confusion and grief over this misfortune.

I ended up becoming an Awakened One with a crimson light called Yuseo.

*

“So… …Our Sera has become an Awakened One?”

“Yes. And that’s a pretty high B-rank awakening. Maybe this is luck. Your family doesn’t have money right now, right?”

Everyone bowed their heads at those words.

“That’s okay. If you become a hunter, we can support you enough.”

“Support… …you say?”

“Yes. Things like tuition, food, and things like that. Of course, if the grades don’t come out well, it’s hard for us to support you, but I heard that the student’s grades are pretty high.”

“Yes… …. Our Sera is good at studying.”

“Then, if you get good grades at Hunter Academy, you can get a lot of support. Of course, the standard isn’t that high, so it’s possible.”

At those words, the whole family looked at Seora. Everyone was confident that Seora would be able to get good grades. However, the problem was the lifestyle she would have to live there.

Of course, if they receive support, the household situation will be somewhat more comfortable. However, if they are hunters, they are in a profession where their lives are threatened by monsters as they go around the gates. So it is natural that Sera would get hurt, and after graduating, there is a possibility that she might die.

In fact, the hunter mortality rate is quite high.

There are many good points, but I couldn’t help but worry because my life was at stake.

“Seora, what do you want to do?”

I thought about my brother’s question for a moment.

Actually, I don’t really care what happens to me. But I felt burdened because my whole family was worried, and I started to hesitate for no reason.

I feel like my head is hurting because of the sudden choice I have to make. However, I am not as confused as last time, and I have already expressed my frustration to my family.

Sera’s choice was very simple.

“I want to do it.”

She answered her brother with sparkling eyes.

“I will do it.”

As soon as he heard that answer, Grandpa said right away. Grandma slapped Grandpa on the back with her palm, saying, “Why are you suddenly applying when we haven’t even discussed it properly?” Grandpa shouted along, saying, “If you’re going to do it anyway, wouldn’t it be better to apply right away?” At that situation, my brother gave a slightly confused smile.

Looking at that sight, Seo-ra had one desire.

He said that he would somehow become stronger and become happy.

Of course, only his future self knows that this will be another path that will make Yusera unhappy.