episode_0092

“Ah, it’s hard… ”

Vita returned to her room.

After roughly taking off the clothes that were hanging around, I lay down on the bed.

I buried my head in the soft pillow. I ran my hand through my hair and thought for a moment, but no solution came to mind, so I let out a long sigh.

You can’t see my expression, but I feel like I’m crying.

Actually, I’ve been feeling very depressed lately.

Vita grasps the necklace that Carlyle gave her, which is hanging around her neck, with her hand. And like the necklace, she hugs the doll on the bed that Carlyle gave her as a gift.

Still, my mood doesn’t get much better.

‘Carlyle is a bad guy…’

My head is full of complicated thoughts about the other person, so I bite my lips slightly.

When that guy is in front of me, I want to hit him hard. But really, I just want to hang on to him.

If I hold onto that Carlyle guy and start crying, and cling to him and tell him not to go, will he change his mind?

I don’t want to do that because I have pride and I’m not reckless, but I feel like I’m reaching my limit.

There is no other reason why he has been deliberately cold to Carlyle and has continued to act pouty.

The things I cherish and the happy memories have become something that I can’t let go of. That’s how precious Carlyle has become to me.

So, why?

So, it’s hard to understand. Actually, I understand it in my head, but I don’t want to understand it.

Do I have to go? Can I just not go?

‘I’m Carlyle without you…’

It seems like it would be really difficult.

I don’t know how to get through each day, but I feel like I’m losing energy.

Not just a few days, but half a year? It could even be a year. Vita’s eyes started to darken.

The future is really far away. I might not be able to concentrate on anything because I want to see it.

The low laughter ringing in Carlyle’s ears, his wide, warm embrace.

A strangely good smell, and even the small but affectionate considerations typical of a gentleman.

There are many memories of the two of us lounging around together, hugging and watching anime, or walking around the schoolyard together while holding hands. Didn’t we also laugh at meaningless small talk while having lunch?

-What, why are you laughing?

-No, it’s just that. You’re so cute.

My face always got hot when I heard those words from my partner. It was embarrassing, but it definitely felt good.

-… I was originally cute?

-Bianca, you. You’ve become so arrogant lately.

-So be nice to me.

I’m sure I’ll miss even that meaningless chatter. It’ll be hard without Carlyle by my side.

But what about the opponent?

‘… aren’t you like that?’

Meeting Sasha and Emily helped me feel better, but honestly, it didn’t help me at all.

“Haa-”

Vita sighed again.

Yeah, that’s right.

I know very well that others cannot help me with this problem in the first place.

Since I, as his girlfriend, couldn’t even solve it, and his partner was stubborn, I guess I just met up with a friend because I was frustrated.

It’s already been a year.

It’s been a while since I started dating Carlyle. To be exact, it’s been a year and two months, so it feels like we’ve been dating for quite some time now.

How much love have we had together all this time?

We hardly ever argued, and we hardly ever fought.

Even on campus, I stuck with it and never let it go.

-Carlyle, over here-!

-You haven’t had lunch yet?

-Yeah, I didn’t eat. I just kept waiting for you.

Hugging someone without caring about what they think, or linking arms with a big smile.

‘What do you think about me?’

Vita has always been like that.

Because I have a unique sense of self-esteem, I have made a firm decision to be honest about my feelings.

‘But I was once a man… I know very well.’

Most men like women who are good at expressing themselves.

So Vita tried to express it to the other person. Wasn’t he the only one who made her make that choice, that made her a woman? So she always spoke shyly when they walked around the school together, arm in arm.

-… Good, Carlyle.

-What do you like so much?

-Just you.

I didn’t try to hide the fact that I was Carlyle’s girlfriend and that Carlyle was mine.

I was just showing off.

Because of that, we were unintentionally branded as a cringey couple at school.

***

It was actually intentional to block out any potential attackers who might be after a handsome boyfriend.

‘No one knew this, right…?’

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t trust Carlyle.

Yeah, absolutely.

Carlyle and I secretly get along well. So we rarely fight, and I always like the other person, so I really don’t know what to do. It’s been like that for a year and two months.

Vita always liked that boundless affection and longing for her. She could tell just by looking at Carlyle’s eyes.

When Carlyle’s hand stroked my head, I couldn’t help but smile. When I was hugged by his wide arms, I didn’t want to leave.

‘So I was once a man…’

Just a girl now.

Vita had no regrets about this choice.

Rather, I was honestly satisfied that I could be next to the other person, next to Carlyle Schultz. I was just happy, and every day was enjoyable.

That’s why I was even more upset.

“You don’t know what luck is… I always tried hard… ”

Because I love you more than anyone else in this world.

I guess the reason I talk to myself for no reason is because I feel sad.

How could he abandon himself and his cute, hard-working girlfriend and go study abroad?

There is a sense of not being able to keep up. Naturally, in order to decide on a major and complete the major courses, I have to stay here. That makes me even more upset.

Why am I so upset? Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m not that bad to him, even though he’s become my whole world.

Really, do you really need to…?

Is it really necessary to do that?

I really don’t want to be separated from Carlyle.

If the other person was the same, wouldn’t there have been no other way besides studying abroad? Vita kept repeating this thought to herself.

“Really, you bad kid… ”

So it was only a few days ago that Carlyle Schultz, now a somewhat bad boy, revealed that he had been studying abroad. It was while we were having dinner at a nice restaurant.

Carlyle, who had been silent for a long time, spoke.

-I’m going to study abroad.

If it’s short, it could be half a year, and if it’s a little longer, it could be a year.

-Huh, studying abroad…?

How shocked he was. At the time, Vita could not understand it at all.

-A, all of a sudden…?

After that, Carlyle gave a long explanation, but the atmosphere that evening ended up being ruined because of the confusion in my mind.

-Tell me, Bianca.

-… No, I don’t want to. Don’t contact me for the time being.

I was so confused and upset at the time that I said that, and since then, we’ve been in a cold war. Of course, Carlyle has kept in touch.

Text the first day, phone call the next day.

Vita tried to ignore everyone, but couldn’t bring herself to do so, so she answered the phone every time, but mostly stayed silent.

I was really upset. But Carlyle kept quiet and told me everything he knew.

-Sorry, Bianca. It’s the department’s curriculum, and I’m the top student…

-I also recently found out that I have to go a semester early to graduate early.

-What should I do with the fact that my boyfriend is too cool?

Even though he threw his weight around, Vita couldn’t respond at all.

It would be right to be happy that my boyfriend was doing well, but I couldn’t do that at all.

‘I know, I know…’

I hate my childish self.

It feels like I’m Carlyle’s girlfriend holding him back, and it’s both absurd and uncomfortable.

I am aware of it myself though.

As expected, he didn’t want to be separated from Carlyle, so he wanted the other person to make a different judgment, even if it was childish but at the same time desperate.

Thorazine secretly hoped that Carlyle would find another way to respond.

But after a few days, Vita quickly realized that this attitude of mine meant nothing.

I can’t do this anymore.

Because it’s harder for me.

If you keep pushing Carlyle away, it will be harder for you.

I feel like I’m going into withdrawal symptoms.

I felt a strange loss of energy thinking about the embrace and caress of Carlyle. I thought about it every night.

Since it is not a minor matter, it is unlikely that the guy will stop studying abroad just because he keeps getting upset.

Yeah, that’s right.

I still hate Carlyle, but I also feel sad about it.

This doesn’t seem to be the case.

‘Yeah, no.’

This is not the time to be proud. This is not the time to be resentful.

If all goes as planned, Carlyle will be going abroad to study next month, so every day is a waste. Even this moment is a waste.

Vita decided to meet Carlyle first.

Let’s talk to each other, let’s say it one last time.

Of course, it is unlikely that the other person will change his mind, but I have come to the conclusion rationally that I must send Carlyle away now.

-Be honest with me.

-Try to act cute a lot?

Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s just be honest, like my friends say.

‘Let’s just hang on…!’

Vita, who had made up her mind, hurriedly got dressed again. She quickly opened her phone to contact the person, but suddenly a text message arrived.

Tiring-

-Bianca, I have something important to tell you. Can you show me your face today?

-A cafe near your house.

The location will be announced soon. It’s a small cafe in the neighborhood that we went to together once before.

-I’ll wait until you come. Or I can go. If you give me permission.

The fact that the porridge is perfectly matched also has this meaning. Vita immediately replied with an angry emoticon and added more.

-Wait, there.

I really can’t help it. I can’t help but feel my heart flutter.

I was trying to contact you, and since you called me right then and there, I had a feeling that I had gotten in touch with Carlyle again.

“Then what are you going to do, you bad boy… ”

As she says this, Vita checks herself in the mirror. She doesn’t even notice that her own lips are smiling.

‘This is good enough.’

Vita put on her shoes and left her room.

***

Carlyle waited for his opponent.

It was definitely the first time in the past few days that I received a reply right away.

Yes, now. Isn’t it possible that Bianca has sorted out her thoughts?

There is no turning back from your decision to study abroad.

It’s the department’s curriculum, and it’s also the right thing to do for my future.

‘I’ve been trying to convince you about that for the past few days…’

In fact, from the beginning. Bianca must have understood it in her head from the beginning.

Carlyle also fully understood that the other person might be upset with him.

‘Yeah, me too. I guess I was upset.’

It must have been so. The irony for him was that his originally planned study abroad trip was brought forward due to his good grades.

-To graduate early, I have to go one semester early.

-Oh, is that so…?

Even the professor in charge was taken aback by his own words, so Bianca’s reaction was not strange.

-Tell me, Bianca.

-No, I don’t want to. Don’t contact me for the time being.

I should have taken a little more time and informed them in advance.

Bianca Shamal’s reaction is not childish. It’s just that she was suddenly told that she was going to study abroad next month, so she couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

It was Carlyle’s own fault. He was so busy with his research and assignments that he failed to take care of his own circumstances in advance. He was somewhat careless.

But it’s a good thing that Bianca eventually gave in.

Okay, when will you come?

Carlyle himself has been suffering from a thirst recently.

I missed my girlfriend.

Cute and innocent, very charming and affectionate.

Because I love myself more than anything else.

Bianca Shamal says, she really loves him.

No one can possibly know how overwhelming it is to see her pretty amethyst eyes filled with affection for him.

When his small and soft body, compared to his own, is held in his arms.

-I like you, Carlyle.

When a clear and pure voice always whispers in your ear, no one will know how much your heart is filled.

To be honest, I was dying to see it.

Torajin’s girlfriend won’t meet him because she needs time to understand. And he hasn’t been able to meet her for the past few days because he’s been preparing a gift to console her.

‘It’s only been a few days…’

What if I go abroad to study? Carlyle sighed.

Fortunately, the place I’m going to study abroad is only a day and a half away.

‘Weekends might be a bit tough, but I’ll try my best during the holidays…’

Carlyle was determined to make time.

Carlyle, who was waiting for his partner on the street in front of the cafe, soon felt someone running towards him and hugging him.

Warak-

Literally.

Bianca ran and hugged me. Even though it was the middle of an alley, she ran and hugged me without worrying about what anyone was thinking.

“Can’t I just not go…?”

In an instant, you can feel the fresh fruity scent and soft body.

The voice was so sad that Carlyle paused for a moment at the attention of those around him, but soon raised his hand and patted the other person’s head.

Bianca also gradually strengthens her arms around him. The short woman’s head keeps rubbing against his.

I miss this so much, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

“You know, Bianca.”

“… I’ll call you honey too. Oh, oppa too…! I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Carlyle was momentarily taken aback.

“Huh…? No?”

Bianca Shamal always calls her by her first name. I once told her to call him by his first name or by his older brother. Half to tease him, half to be honest.

It was almost a year ago.

When they went to their parents’ house together, they found out that Bianca Shamal was actually born early. In fact, strictly speaking, Carlyle himself is the older brother.

-Call me oppa just once.

-Are you crazy…?

Of course, Bianca immediately refused, saying she couldn’t do it because it was too much of a hassle. But now it was different.

“Huh? Honey. No, Carlyle.”

With a somewhat sad look.

I feel embarrassed too, and my face turns bright red, but I speak desperately.

“I really can’t not go… ?”

Carlyle had no idea when Bianca Shamal had become so desirable.

‘What is this…’

The destructive power was so much greater than I expected that I was surprised for once.

I almost nodded without realizing it, but Carlyle tried to wash his face dry and spoke to the other person.

“… That, Bianca. This is so unfair.”

“So, the answer.”

Bianca Shamal falls with a silent and slurping sound.

“I just had a really hard time… and even this doesn’t work?”

“It was dangerous, but… ”

As Carlyle burst into laughter, Vita quickly struck the man in the chest with her fist.

It’s annoying, really.

I’m dying from this annoying behavior.

“Don’t call me that again. Oppa, honey… ? Don’t even dream about it anymore.”

“No, Bianca… ”

“Bad guy, bad kid… You said you would take responsibility.”

“I’ll take responsibility, of course. That’s why I’m going.”

Anyway, I can’t speak.

‘I know, I know…’

The fact that the other person is really serious about the future.

I’ve already heard several times about Carlyle’s intentions for studying abroad, so I’m too weak to hit him at the moment.

“First, let’s go home.”

When Carlyle hugged her again and patted her head, Vita quietly hugged him and responded with a mumble.

“Then why did you call me here?”

“I have someone I left in charge of. Come to think of it, it’s hard to talk in a cafe.”

And Carlyle goes into the cafe for a moment. What he later comes out with is a bag of moderate size. It is more like a case than a bag, and it has some kind of soft cloth wrapped around it that you can’t see.

Vita asked curiously.

“… What is that?”

“I’m asleep now.”

The appearance of lifting cautiously looks suspicious.

“What the heck, really.”

“I’ll show you when I get home. It’s a present for you.”

What kind of gift is it?

Vita snorted.

No matter what Carlyle has prepared, my heart will not be at ease.

‘I don’t need gifts. I just need you…’

Although he was still in a daze, he bit his lip slightly but still did not shake off the other person’s hand.

Honestly, it’s really warm and makes me feel safe for no reason. It’s not that I don’t like it.

‘… I’m too weak for this guy Carlyle.’

Sighing deeply, but still holding hands, Vita continued walking. Soon, she entered her home with Carlyle Schultz.

That Carlyle guy has been here dozens of times. Maybe a hundred times.

So, the other person first hangs his clothes on the table and then sits on the sofa in the living room.

“Come here, Bianca.”

Vita didn’t mind Carlyle, even though she hated him. It seemed like he had something prepared, but honestly, she wasn’t expecting much.

Perhaps no gift will be able to relieve this feeling of regret and resentment.

“Look, just once.”

But after Carlyle lifted the cloth covering his bag, Vita’s eyes widened at the sight of a small brown ball of fur peeking out from inside.

***

It’s so tiny and cute.

The fluff, which is almost brown, looks soft.

Vita was speechless at the sight of the puppy sleeping soundly, breathing heavily, oblivious to the world.

“What is this…?”

Carlyle speaks with a smile.

“I want to raise a puppy.”

Yeah, definitely.

I remember saying something to the other person a month ago without really meaning it.

-You know, Carlyle. Should I get a puppy too?

Since I turned into a woman, for some reason I can’t stand cute things. It’s gotten worse as the days go by.

-Look, isn’t it cute? It’s so cute and small. Like a cotton ball.

Because there is a clear tendency to do that compared to men. That day, Vita was just exclaiming in admiration while watching the toy poodle puppy in the video.

I wanted to raise one, but I never actually raised one because it was a different area.

‘I’m sure there will be a time when I want to raise one… but…’

And then, right in front of him was a puppy of the same breed as the one he had seen in the video.

“So, small… ”

Vita couldn’t take her eyes off the puppy.

A ridiculously small and cute toy poodle.

I can’t take my eyes off this cute little puppy that I feel like I need to protect and just want to pet.

“How is it, cute…?”

Vita nodded slowly to Carlyle’s question.

It was so unbelievably cute that I found myself holding my breath without even realizing it.

Swish-

Vita reached out her hand slightly to pet the puppy, then paused for a moment. She met Carlyle’s eyes and spoke without realizing it.

“… Oh, what should I do? It’s too cute to touch.”

“Then just touch it.”

“No, that means… ”

While talking, Vita suddenly came to her senses.

‘Oh, wait a minute… ‘

Isn’t this the way it should be? Shouldn’t your feelings be resolved by this?

‘Yeah, something like this…’

But it’s so cute. It’s so cute that I can’t ignore it.

“So, cute… ”

So, Vita became increasingly unable to control her facial expressions.

Gradually, his voice became excited and his cheeks turned red.

“I want you to raise this…?”

“Okay, raise it. It’s almost vacation anyway.”

Luckily, school is almost over. It’s a pretty relaxed time to raise a puppy.

“But when the semester starts… ”

“Even if the semester starts, it won’t rain that much. The school is close enough.”

Vita nodded slowly at Carlyle’s words.

“I’m worried that you might be lonely.”

“Ask Emily.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

My friend Emily has been raising dogs for a long time, so she will definitely be of help.

Vita hesitated for a moment, then spoke in a small voice, unable to take her eyes off the puppy.

“Still, it’s only to this extent… ”

“One more.”

Just when I was about to say that I was not feeling well, Carlyle suddenly offered me something.

It was a rather stiff document that had been taken out of her bosom at some point. Vita’s body froze as she looked at the words written at the top of the document.

“Marriage, registration form…?”

Carlyle’s signature is already in one corner. If only he could sign it…

Before I knew it, I was being held in his arms. My whole body was wrapped in Carlyle’s wide, strong arms.

“Bianca.”

At the same time, a low, hot voice comes down towards my ear.

Carlyle Schultz was overwhelmed.

In fact, at this very moment, my heart was beating so hard it felt like it was broken.

It’s fortunate that he didn’t notice that my fingertips were shaking slightly when I just handed him the documents.

Carlisle whispered softly, holding Bianca Shamal in his arms, holding his girlfriend in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Bianca. But I think it’s right for you and for me to study abroad.”

“… Is that for me?”

“Because I said I would take responsibility.”

I made that promise.

“This is absolutely necessary for both of us.”

Carlyle is an adult who wants to succeed and be a man who can take care of his family.

In fact, he knows that Bianca Shamal will live well even if he doesn’t do this. He already knows in his head that even after he goes abroad to study, it will be more like living together by helping each other rather than taking responsibility.

But Carlyle wanted to be honest with himself.

Bianca Shamal is not someone I need to protect, she is more like a partner to go through life with, but I still want to protect her. I want to have the ability to always rely on her.

“They say that if you don’t study abroad, the school won’t let you graduate, but you still have to graduate.”

Tsdam- tsdam-

Carlisle made the comment as a light joke, patting her head and chuckling.

“I’d be so miserable if I didn’t see you, Bianca, for a few days that I’d want to die.”

Bianca laughs at my joke as if it’s ridiculous, but her face gradually turns sad.

“… Then you don’t have to go.”

“Because it’s something that has to be done.”

He speaks to his girlfriend as if he is comforting and soothing her as she whines.

“Wait, Bianca.”

“I know, me too. But really, I… ”

“… I’ll give you confidence.”

Carlyle Schultz said, “I even brought the marriage papers to reassure the other party.

Before going abroad to study, the two will become legally married. But it doesn’t stop there.

“When I return from studying abroad, let’s get married.”

Vita’s head was dizzy at the sudden declaration.

“Let’s get married.”

Carlyle Schultz said.