episode_0092

[Episode 92] – My person, mine

Immediately after Morgan left the room, I got goosebumps all over my body and couldn’t move for a moment.

How on earth do you know? I hid Snow White on the third floor before I met Morgan? Were you sure from the moment you asked that my body was emanating the criminal’s magic? What would have happened if Morgan hadn’t treated me favorably?

As those thoughts lingered in my head, a bitter taste formed in my mouth. Was my bravado, in Morgan’s eyes, just a child’s play? Now I understand why Morgan called me ‘Baby~ Baby~’ instead of Vivian.

All my actions would have been nothing more than childish pranks to Morgan. Just like a child telling lies in order to deceive adults, wouldn’t I have looked that way in Morgan’s eyes? Even though she looked so foolish, I thought she wasn’t a great witch for nothing.

I laughed out loud, rubbing my goosebumps on my arms. Really, the only way to express this case is that I was lucky. The reason why Morgan lets Snow White go so easily is because she can easily find her if she wants to.

‘…He’s really someone I can’t get my head around.’

With that thought in mind, I quietly walked out of the lounge. I looked around to see if Morgan had really gone, but I couldn’t see him, and the ballroom was quite quiet, perhaps because the ball was over. The only sounds were the sound of people rushing out and the sound of carriages moving busily in the distance.

‘…Maybe I made you wait too long.’

Unlike the young ladies returning home after the dance, I headed further into the building. To take Titania and Snow White back to the inside of the common room on the third floor. I was worried about whether Titania and Snow White would be okay with each other, but it seemed like nothing much would happen.

That’s right, if something had happened, Ainsel would have come to tell us. If the two had fought or something, it was clear that Ainsel would have come to tell them. However, if that isn’t the case, it probably means that the two are quite close. With such a light heart, I slowly headed to the 3rd floor lounge.

The moment I opened the door to the third floor lounge where Titania and Snow White were hidden, I couldn’t help but be a little embarrassed. That’s right, Titania was the only one in the room with her legs crossed with a sullen expression on her face.

“…? Titania? Why are you alone? “What about that princess?”

“…I just went back because my mother was coming home late.”

“…what?”

As I was left speechless out of embarrassment, Titania sighed with a pouting expression. Then he muttered in a low voice, ‘It’s still a long way away…’ What did the two of you talk about? I’m not sure of the exact details, but one thing is certain: Titania didn’t seem to be in a good mood.

Did you see Morgan walking past the window? Or did I really come too late and go back? Both seemed promising and my head started to hurt. So I asked to talk to him… but he ignored that and went back, right?

‘I listened to Morgan’s boring stories for hours for someone else…!’

I let out a sigh without realizing it, feeling so angry and sobbing.

Did he really have no intention of talking to me at all? Was he just hiding here for a while to avoid Morgan? After barely holding back my anger, I sat down next to Titania and leaned my head on her shoulder, as if I was exhausted.

“Uh, mother?”

“Do you mind if I stay like this for a moment? “You’re so tired today.”

It was a really, really tiring day.

Because I was dressed as a man, I had a hard time breathing because my chest was tied up with bandages, and my head was itchy because of the wig, so I thought it was crazy. On top of that, I suddenly met Snow White and the Great Witch, so I felt like I had used up all the stamina I needed for almost a week in one day.

My head was itchy so much that I took off my wig and leaned back, burying my head in Titania’s shoulder. Titania’s upper body tilted slightly under my weight, but she soon straightened her back and supported my body.

After I closed my eyes for a moment, Titania asked me.

“Well, if you’re really tired… would you like me to give you a knee pillow? “There is still time…”

“Knee pillow?”

“Because my mother often did it for me… I wanted to do it for you today…”

Knee pillow… To be honest, the tired urge to lie down on the bed right away rose like a chimney. Anyway, even if I went back now, I had to remove my makeup and wash up, and I was going to be tired for another few hours. If only for a little while before that…?

“…Then, can I ask you a favor?”

“Well, of course! “Quickly lie down here!”

I burst into laughter at the sight of Titania patting my knee, telling me to lie down quickly. Then just for a moment. Thinking of lying down for just a moment, I gently laid my head on Titania’s lap, who had her legs neatly together.

I couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that this was my first time receiving a lap pillow from Titania. Titania is all grown up too. Now the day will come when I will receive a knee pillow from Titania.

“Others will be shocked when they see it. “A queen is lying on a princess’s lap to rest…”

“It’s just us here, don’t worry about everyone else. Besides, who says what to say when a daughter offers to give her mother a lap pillow?”

It was nice to see Titania smiling beautifully down at me. Yes, people who say things like this must be strange. I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling drowsy, and surrendered myself to the comfortable feeling.

“I’ll just close my eyes for a moment, so let me know when it’s time.”

*

Titania was really worried that if she continued like this, her heart would not work anymore.

Even small touches like this, which I normally didn’t think about, became a huge stimulus and I was really embarrassed. When my mother suddenly buried her face in my shoulder, I thought my heart was going to drop because I felt her scent.

‘Really… if we keep going like this, it’ll be hard to hold hands with my mother.’

Titinia sighed so softly that Vivian couldn’t hear, then lowered her head and looked intently at Vivian’s face lying on her lap. Then, she gently touched the end of Vivian’s curly golden hair and smiled really happily.

Soft and fair skin, dense and plump lips, dark and clear eyes, and eyelashes closely embroidered along the eyelids. It’s really pretty and very lovely. My mother’s face, which I had always seen, looked even prettier today.

Thinking that such a beautiful person was both her mother and the person she loved made Titania feel happy, as if she had filled her mouth with something sweet. But behind that sweetness, there was always a bitter taste.

Titania learned clearly today that the true nature of this bitter taste is jealousy. While I loved my mother, I also hated that she cared about other people.

Even if it is, for example, the same being as yourself. He only wanted his mother to pay attention to him, and he wanted those green eyes to always be focused only on him.

However, Titania knew very well that there was no reason or way to force her mother to do that. That’s right-

‘My mother is mine, but she is not mine.’

If the love as a lover that my mother spoke of was really ‘a selfish desire for that person’s everything to be directed only to you’, then there was no doubt that you loved your mother as a lover.

Titania escapes from her mother and family (her people)

I wanted to make my mother my lover (mine).

So, I hated my mother who tried to give affection to someone other than herself, and I hated my mother who tried to care about others. I was selfish and wanted my mother’s emotions, heart, and love to be directed only to me.

‘If I tell my mother this feeling, will she hate me? Or should I accept it?’

Titania, who was still thirteen years old, knew that she should not share these feelings. She also vaguely knew that this love was a little wrong in the first place.

However, I had no intention of giving up. All I could do for now was wait. All I had to do was calmly, little by little, approach my mother with this mindset. Because I had a lot of time to spend with my mother.

‘Because it’s not like my mother is running away.’

*

next day.

After successfully(?) finishing the masquerade ball, Titania and I were able to return to the castle late at night.

Since Titania had promised me that she would never attend a masquerade ball again, I felt fortunate that there would no longer be an event like this in her life.

‘It’s not that the social world is bad, but there is no need to go to a ball that is such a symbol of decadence.’

Titania was so tired from the all-day carriage journey that she fell asleep without even eating dinner as soon as she arrived at the castle. Since I said I didn’t sleep well last night, it was a natural result.

I looked down at Titania, who was sleeping peacefully in my bed, and smiled at the inevitable smile, and then I changed into my negligee. That was the moment I closed my eyes next to Titania.

“Wow… are you really sharing the same room until this age?”

I was startled by the voice coming from the terrace, so I jumped up and looked toward the place where the voice came from. I wondered if I had to wait another three years or throw a ball and trap him with food to see him again…

“…You really came to the bedroom.”

“You want me to come visit you? why? “Are you now ashamed of letting a stranger into your bedroom?”

When I came in, Snow White was looking at me with a sly smile on her face, leaning against the door leading to the terrace and giggling. The words that came up in my throat as to why I went back without waiting yesterday, but I quickly swallowed them.

Then, Snow White, smiling, motioned for him to come closer to her.

“Let’s talk.” That’s why I came. But what are we talking about here…”

When Snow White opened the terrace door wide, the slightly salty smell of the sea passed by her nose. ‘Smell of the sea?’ When I suddenly raised my head and looked at the terrace at the smell of the sea, it turned out to be the palace terrace where I often enjoyed the breeze. It wasn’t.

Beyond the terrace where the small table was placed, I could see the night sea with white foam rising. As if there were no boundaries between the sea and the night sea, all the stars in the sky shone with the waves as if they had fallen on the sea.

As I looked at the scenery, I saw a small cabin on the beach. At the same time that I could see smoke rising from the chimney of a small cabin, I could faintly hear the sounds of children squealing.

I looked down at the cabin blankly, thinking I knew what kind of cabin it was and whose laughter it was. Then, Snow White smiled and sat down at the table first and looked at me.

“Come and sit down, Vivian.”

*