episode_0087
by fnovelpiaHot flames. Heat enough to drive you to death.
The you I witnessed was clearly swimming in it, twisting your body as your instincts led you, trying to escape from that hot scene of slaughter.
I saw with my own two eyes the fire spreading to my body.
No bodies were found, as everyone inside the building was charred to a crisp, and even their clothing was burned, making identification virtually impossible.
“Uh, how….”
So, yeah. I thought you were dead. It was almost a miracle that you survived in that hot flame, and I stopped believing in miracles or luck.
“How, alive… .”
But how can you be alive?
My mouth twitched, speechless. I stared blankly at Cesar standing behind me. The finger pointing at him trembled.
When I said nothing, Cesar looked around for a moment, then carefully took off the mechanic’s hat that was pressed low on his head.
And then, I closed my gaping mouth. Cesar looked at me like that and smiled bitterly.
No, should I be smiling? His face was so horribly disfigured that it was hard to recognize his expression.
Cesar’s face was cruelly melted. Most of the skin on his face was melted away as if it was about to boil, and his left eye, once bright brown and bright, was dead white. His nose was no exception, melting away to the left, blocking one of his pores and preventing him from breathing.
Of course, the brown hair that had once shined as brightly as his eyes was no longer there. The only surviving clear brown right eye and the shape of his facial features that were really blurry were the evidence that he was Cesar Lee.
I looked at Cesar’s face, which had changed completely, and opened and closed my mouth several times. It was difficult to find words.
“As you can see, it turned out like this.”
Every time Cesar spoke, the skin on his face would tighten. It was hard for me to even notice the expression on my face as I looked at him.
I ended up keeping my mouth shut. I couldn’t bring myself to offer words of comfort, and it didn’t seem like the time to ask how he survived.
If nothing you say is going to help, it would be wiser to keep your mouth shut. As if he had sensed my intentions, Cesar forced the corners of his mouth to rise and sat down next to me.
“It feels strange since we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”
“three, Cesar.”
Cesar sat on the same bench as me, but a little further away from me, and it seemed so unfamiliar.
An expression as if he was afraid to approach me. A mouth that hesitated to speak. A passive attitude as he kept glancing at me with his right eye, the only one that was doing its job.
That attitude was something I thought I would never find in Cesar, the proud and blunt young man he used to be. There was only an awkward, long silence between Cesar and me.
Normally, it would have been a time to ask each other how we were doing, but the chirping of cicadas replaced that. Unable to bear the prolonged silence, I barely opened my tightly shut mouth.
“… Long time no see.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while. I don’t know how many years it’s been.”
Cesar’s voice was hoarse, as if he had phlegm, which was probably also a sore throat from the burn. I swallowed hard and continued.
“I thought you were dead.”
“I thought you were dead, huh… Hey, Lucio.”
Suddenly, Cesar asked with a distorted face.
“Do I look like a living person to you?”
He wasn’t angry. He was smiling in his own way. However, his badly burned face couldn’t keep up.
I slowly chewed on Cesar’s words, then nodded cautiously.
“Cesar. You are alive. You are talking to me like this right now.”
“That’s a very priestly answer… .”
A hat was placed on Cesar’s head. It seemed as if he did not want to expose his hideous appearance for too long.
“Lucio. I… . didn’t understand what you said that day.”
“What… .”
“That saying that means you can’t die even if you want to. You’re not afraid of death, but you can’t die because you think of Helena.”
I kept my mouth shut. Sure enough, I had said something like that.
Cesar’s empty eyes were staring at the floor. Following his gaze, the dried, twisted corpse of an earthworm, a common sight in the summer, was lying on the dirt floor.
“It was hot, stuffy, and I couldn’t breathe properly… I wanted to survive somehow.”
“… … .”
“And, survived. Unfortunately.”
Cesar laughed at himself. It was unclear whether it was a pessimistic view of his situation or a laugh at his own desperate survival.
“After I got burns all over my body, my life was hell. Every night, I couldn’t sleep because of the pain, and the sights of the battlefield that I tried to forget kept coming back to me.”
The dried corpse of the earthworm moved. An ant had discovered the corpse and bit it with its jaws.
“There were many times when I wanted to die. I often thought about giving up. Even when I tried to make money, there was no place that would use me after seeing my condition.”
The ant, who had been pulling the earthworm corpse here and there for a while, soon decided that it was too much for him to carry it alone. Watching the ant move away from the earthworm, Cesar continued.
“But I tried desperately to survive. So now, like this.”
Cesar burst into laughter, pointing at his own face. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him.
“This is how you survived until now, right?”
“… … .”
“I was lucky to get a job as a mechanic. Well, I’m still in the hospital though… .”
Still, isn’t it important that I survived? Cesar said, patting me on the shoulder with a pretended cheerful tone.
“It’s time for me to die. I have unfulfilled plans, so I can’t die already.”
“… The culprit is.”
As I opened my mouth, Cesar’s body froze. I asked in a trembling voice.
“Do you know who the arsonist is?”
“Haha… Lucio. Isn’t that a stupid question?”
Suddenly, Cesar’s expression changed. It was a distorted expression like before, and not a smiling face at all.
“Maximilian von Adelheid. That son of a bitch must have instigated it. It’s so obvious.”
It was a look of rage. Cesar was angry.
“After surviving, I tried to survive desperately. It was the same with searching for the culprit of the arson incident.”
“Is it certain that the culprit of the arson incident is Duke Adelheid?”
“There’s no hard evidence, but yes. I’m sure of it. Adelheid, that bastard wouldn’t leave behind such crucial evidence.”
“… … .”
The culprit of the arson. I had expected it to be Duke Adelheid, but in fact, even I wasn’t sure. Cesar was very sure.
“But at least I was able to get a small clue. It looks like an agent from the intelligence agency who was close to Adelheid committed the arson.”
“Information Agency agent… .”
“They must have gotten bribes. You dirty, dirty bastards. Adelheid, that bastard did it. ”
“Does the Information Department know about this fact?”
“I don’t know the details, but I don’t think that’s it. He must be someone Adelheid recruited separately. It would be difficult to do something so big in the middle of the system without any noise.”
Cesar’s clenched fist shook. It was unrefined, raw, living, breathing hate. It seemed as if Cesar had been consumed by that hate for a long time.
“That day, there were twenty-six members of the War Soldiers Association gathered in the office who had decided to protest with me.”
Yes. After the fire was completely extinguished, I heard that there were many corpses found in the building itself that was completely burnt down. At that time, I was desperate to confirm whether Cesar was alive, so I knew this fact well.
“They’re all dead. Not a single one is left behind, everyone who was gathered there.”
And then they all died.
“Screaming in front of my eyes, begging me to spare my life. I don’t want to die like this. Why do I have to suffer like this since I came into this world? While screaming like that… .”
The last image of them, charred black and screaming, with their mouths wide open.
“Everyone died. Lucio. I was the only survivor. ”
Caesar’s melted cheeks trembled. His right eye, the only one that had ever shone clearly, was now bloodshot and staring somewhere.
“But, the world has no news of my survival. Do you know that?”
“… Yeah.”
Yes. The newspapers were adorned with the phrase that everyone in the building had died, and even that was written in such small print that it was hard to read unless you read the newspaper carefully.
“After surviving many twists and turns, I found out that I was already dead. The country had been wiped of humanity.”
Cesar spoke in an angry tone. I could only listen in silence.
“Do you know how much I suffered? It wasn’t just physical pain. The emptiness of not being in this world anymore. The gaze of the world that denied my very existence. The gaze of society that treated me as a complete stranger overnight!”
“… … .”
“That was the most painful thing of all. Lucio.”
It is pain. The pain of a robber who cannot kill Caesar.
Tolerable pain may make a person stronger, but unbearable pain is a different story.
“But, yeah… . I didn’t die. I survived. I had to survive somehow.”
A normal person would choose death in that pain.
Caesar couldn’t do that.
“Aren’t you curious as to why that is?”
“… What is it?”
I asked in a nervous voice. Cesar burst into laughter in a thick voice.
“Kuhehehe… Of course, to get revenge. Lucio.”
Only then did I take my eyes off the earthworm on the floor and look at Cesar. He was also looking at me.
In the depths of his empty eyes, a primal anger burned intensely. It was not simply some old emotion.
“Adelheid. That bastard ruined my life. Of course, I should get revenge.”
“… If it is a corresponding plural.”
“Well, at least, I should make you experience the same level of pain as I did.”
I couldn’t say anything. It wasn’t that I chose to remain silent because I wanted Adelheid to be safe.
“…Cesar. That’s too reckless.”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.”
“Plan, what the… .”
“I can’t tell you the detailed plan. I’m sorry. Please understand my situation.”
“… … .”
Cesar’s expression was so determined that it looked like he was really going to do something. I looked at his face and barely opened my mouth.
“Why are you telling me this fact?”
“… Lucio. I have a few comrades who decided to join me. Most of them are comrades of the veterans who died that day. ”
Cesar, the anger burning in his eyes slightly subsiding, sighed and stood up from his seat. I, too, followed him and stood up.
“Actually, I wanted to draw you over to us, so I watched you for a while… . You were already living your own life.”
“… Ah.”
In the training ground of the Brittany branch school, the mechanic who had passed me by suddenly came to mind.
Cesar and I had already met before.
“I no longer have the desire to drag you in… . I just wanted to talk to you after a long time.”
“…Cesar.”
“Lucio. I hope you continue to live your life as you are now. I hope you don’t end up like me.”
“I am enough on my own for those who have lost their sense of life and are consumed by revenge,” Cesar muttered.
“But, Lucio, if you decide to join us, I will welcome you with open arms.”
“… … .”
“Can you decide now?”
I looked at Cesar. I couldn’t see him directly, but I was sure that my pupils were trembling without mercy.
Duke Adelheid. Join the plan to take revenge on that human. I heard the proposal and was troubled.
“I’m sorry, Cesar.”
In the end, I couldn’t join because my promise to Helena held me back.
When I bowed my head and apologized, Cesar smiled bitterly and patted my shoulder.
“… Yeah. I think I asked too much. I’m sorry. ”
“No.”
I couldn’t look straight at Cesar’s face. When I lowered my head, I saw a swarm of pitch-black ants moving a dead earthworm.
We stood like that for a while. Cesar looked off into space and sighed deeply, and I watched the corpse of the earthworm disappear into the distance.
So, how long did the silence last?
“Hoo… Sorry, Lucio. I think it’s time to go.”
Cesar said, pulling his hat down low. Only then was I able to raise my head.
“… Take care.”
“Yeah, you too, take care. Someday… . When the time comes, let’s meet again.”
The conversation was long, and the greetings were short. Since Cesar had decided to go his separate way from me, there was no reason for us to stay long.
I couldn’t figure out what the ‘plan’ he was talking about was.
“… … .”
I blankly stared at the back of Cesar, who was turning away and starting to walk away.
When we came to a crossroads and chose different paths, I thought how strange our fates were.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of Caesar’s slumped shoulders.
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