episode_0086
by fnovelpia
The Imperial Academy Library boasts a vast collection of books.
Not only in the Empire, but in all of the world, there is no place where more knowledge is accumulated than here. No wonder magicians from all over the world come here to study.
After finding all the books the professor had told me about, I placed them on the desk in the corner of the bookshelf.
The third shelf where I was sitting contained books published when the Great War had ended and the era of prosperity was just beginning.
Every bookshelf had desks and chairs placed throughout so that one could read or study without having to leave the space.
There were seats in the center of the bookshelf, but I chose a corner. Each bookshelf was as big as a library, so if you went all the way to the corner, it was like a maze.
It was also a great place to be without being disturbed.
Well, I was just trying to read a book quietly, but looking at the corner where no one comes and goes… it seemed like a good place for a couple who are deeply in love to secretly show off their affection.
Why, there must be? Thrill seekers… Men and women who make provocative noises that should not be heard in a quiet library. The stimulation provided by the special environment of the Academy Library encourages them to go on risky adventures… and they cannot control themselves.
I used to see it often in the university library before Bing. By chance, while studying late at night.
Every time that happened, I thought of Yeong-hee. If we become lovers, someday we too… .
Usually, the man pushes the woman against the bookshelf and confines her. The woman naturally turns her back to the bookshelf.
With a relatively large body and strong arms, like a predator. It would have been nice to see the difference in height between me and Younghee.
A woman knows that if she leans against a bookshelf full of books, the weight of the bookshelf will not cause it to fall over.
But the anxiety that may arise. The worry that you might slowly back away and push the bookshelf too hard, causing a big commotion, or that you might get hurt, will make your heart beat faster.
I wish Yeong-hee had been like that too. I was pushing her, and she was backing away, reaching a dead end, and finally her last line of defense was collapsing. It was definitely good, but the moment when I finally denied the cries of reason that it shouldn’t be in a place like this.
The signal sent by the melting eyes and the reddened cheeks. It was a sweet surrender.
… The moment we kiss like that, our relationship will advance to the next level.
A precious memory that will be cherished for a lifetime. I will capture that memory in the smell of old paper and dust mixed with bookshelves that wafts from the library. So that I can recall it every time I smell that same smell and come to the old bookshelves of the library.
But Younghee isn’t here.
My arms are no longer the strong, thick arms of a man, and my shoulders and back are not as large and broad as they once were.
For a knight of the College of Knights – which is to be expected since he was originally a wizard – he has slender arms, smooth, slender shoulders, and a straight, thin back, so he can’t do that.
Yeah, I can’t do that rough stuff anymore, like cornering my prey.
Rather the opposite… .
Just like Yeong-hee in the picture I had imagined, like prey backing away in a corner. Only the woman’s body and mind were left behind.
Since humans are creatures of adaptation, I am somehow adapting to this world without Yeong-hee… to this body. Otherwise, I would go crazy.
If something like what I imagined in this bookshelf happens… .
Swish-
I closed my eyes briefly and thought about it.
If something like that happened where I was in Younghee’s place, what I see in front of me with my eyes closed is a blond man shining like the sun.
A man looking down at me with eyes the same color as his hair, eyes that were burning and blazing. I looked at him with a strange excitement, as if I had always looked up to him… as if I was used to looking up to him.
You look down at me with an intense gaze, as if you won’t let go of that image of me, as if you will keep it in your eyes, as if you are trying to scare away my eyes that are wandering around without a place to go.
My eyes shake as I look at you like that, and I can barely look you in the eye while trembling here and there.
Close your eyes and keep imagining.
Your trained arms will pass over my shoulders, blocking the sides of my head… imprisoning me like impenetrable bars. I will be confused, anxious, worried… and yet anticipating. What will happen? What will happen next? How will it change me?
I will wait with fear and excitement for your decision.
When you finally make a decision… .
I’ll have to follow your decision, making excuses like the sound might leak out or the stranger in the bookshelf might hear me.
The sight of me being drawn to you. As the heavy breathing approaches, my hair becomes whiter and I open my eyes. My body feels hot as if I have turned on a hot heater. My heart is already pounding.
It’s more burning than hot. I used a little magic to cool down this heat. I used a cold spell with little mana so that no one would notice.
wickedness-
I put a small ice cube made on my palm on my forehead, like someone with a fever reaching for a wet towel. In a sense, I’m trying to cool myself down from something worse than a fever.
… .
As my heated body slowly calms down, my consciousness returns to reality. Here, to the bookshelf.
I look around to see if anyone has seen me. I already feel the mana of the area, and I know that no one is there. But I feel anxious.
I felt a sense of guilt over something that never happened, thinking that I might have been caught while I was intoxicated by my thrilling imagination, and I burned that as fuel for my excitement again.
“After… .”
After a deep sigh, I regained full consciousness. I burst into laughter at the absurd and strange imagination.
Of course, when I’m alone, I get lost in useless sentiments. It’s a bad habit that I developed after being possessed. If not, why is my heart so empty that I can’t stand being alone?
It could be a defense mechanism to somehow fill the melancholy feeling of having a corner of my heart cut out. So I don’t know. Why do I get caught up in these feelings, why can’t I live as calmly as I used to?
After losing Theo? After becoming Beatrice? I can’t even pinpoint the exact timing.
One thing is certain, you are the one who fills my emptiness.
Whenever depression creeps in, the only thing that somehow pulls me out of that swamp is thoughts of you.
Yeah, only when I think of you.
knife….
*
After my wild imagination ended, I was still sitting at the bookshelf in the dark of night.
I’ve already gathered all the books for the professor’s errand, but I still can’t leave because I have my own things to do.
In the corner of the bookshelf, the desk where I sat was filled with thick books. On one side were old, thick books needed for potion research, and on the other side were historical books and research papers written during the dawn of peace.
The book I am reading now was also written at that time.
“The Imperial Family – About the Cradle of Forbidden Love”
The title is intriguing. I guess the author likes things that are quite provocative. Taboo? Are we some kind of demon group?
It was unpleasant for me as a person involved, but it was still interesting, so I chose it.
One thing I have come to realize while living in this world is that very few people have any real knowledge of the royal family and the imperial family. Even in the study of Dahlia Mansion or the Academy Library, it is not easy to find books containing information about us.
Most of the books were nothing more than tall tales, ghost stories, and conjectures. Books written with the sole intention of writing books that would be widely read… .
However, there was some income.
Because the clues that misinformation and delusional stories were rampant allowed us to know that there were very few people close to our royal family.
“There were no other people besides the followers?”
I even hypothesized that our only communication channel might not be with our subordinates. So I read the book without much expectation.
“?”
… Those who serve the imperial family are shrouded in mystery. Their hierarchy is strict and solid. Only those who are called ‘affiliates’ can stay by the imperial family’s side and assist them. Other members may enter and leave the palace, but cannot form direct relationships with the imperial family. … (omitted)… .
… The process or method by which they were selected has also not been revealed. The empire has continued to prosper since the coronation of the wizard Green, but the royal family, who are the real owners of the empire, have hidden themselves in their own world. They live a life as if they are cut off from the outside world in the small world called the palace.… (omitted)… .
… The only place that ordinary citizens like us can reach is the imperial administration. That alone is a great position, but it is easy to think that we will never have the opportunity to meet the descendants of the Green Emperor, the masters of the empire we serve. They should be walking around the great nation they have built and being admired, but they are silent. The only voice of the royal family that we can hear is the occasional message that comes through the retinue.
…(syncopation)….
It seems like a somewhat useful book, given that it talks about the family.
The author of this book is presumed to have been a person of some social elite. The writing contains a desire to meet the royal family and bitterness about the reality of not being able to do so.
But you don’t have anyone to meet besides your family? You live locked up in the palace?
No, even though the palace is spacious, it might be stuffy compared to the outside.
Our royal family has been hikikomori for generations…? If it were me, I would walk around the imperial palace every day and smile at the hospitality of the subjects… .
I closed the book, expressing my doubts about the incomprehensible actions of my ancestors.
widely-
“Hwaaam~”
I stretched and yawned loudly. It was not easy to sit in the same spot and read a book. Boredom was creeping in.
I’ll read the rest slowly later, and I should go back to the dorm and rest.
Rustle- I organized the books on the desk. I couldn’t take all these books with me, so I tried to put them away using the magic tool’s spatial magic.
“!”
I felt a presence and looked back. There, I heard a familiar voice.
“Be, Beatrice? What are you doing here?”
When I turned around, there was a beauty with a bob cut exposing her forehead. Her red lips, contrasting with her blonde hair, were open as if she was surprised.
Yes, she is beautiful.
I hate to admit it, but it’s true that she’s pretty.
I looked at her with a trembling expression and said.
“Reading a book?”
“You want a book?”
“Why, I can read too?”
She came closer with a clanking sound. The library lights were shining on the gold epaulettes on her shoulders. It seemed to show off her superior first class even more. It was just my imagination.
“What book are you reading at this late hour…?”
“……”
I quickly placed the potions book on top of the stack of books so as not to show my surprise to Daniela who was suddenly approaching me, and so as not to let her see the book about the royal family. Her eyes passed over me and settled on the book I had placed there.
“[The relationship between potion making and alchemy]…? Beatrice, why are you reading this book… .”
“Read, you can read it.”
“You’re a knight, right? Isn’t this the kind of book that only wizards read?”
I was wondering how to explain to Daniela, who was looking at me with surprise, that I had become the assistant to the potions professor. Suddenly, I noticed the book tucked into Daniela’s arm.
“Ouch!”
“?”
Daniela noticed my gaze and hurriedly hid the book behind her back. It was as if she was hiding something she didn’t want anyone to see.
“What? Why are you suddenly hiding it?”
“Oh, it’s nothing!”
“It’s nothing, but it’s suspicious. Are you reading a forbidden book?”
“That, that, that’s a forbidden book!? That’s absolutely not the case-”
Daniela’s cheeks turned red. As I looked at her, something came to mind. Daniela from the novel. And thanks to her extremely flustered appearance.
I had a guess. So I reached out and snatched the book she had hidden behind her back.
widely-!
“Ouch! Oh, no!”
“Shhh… .”
Although it was late, he put his finger to his lips as if to remind her that it was a library, and told her to be quiet. Even though I was the one who made her scream.
“Please give it back…, Beatrice.”
I looked at Daniela, who was asking me in a whispering voice, and held the book up high so that she couldn’t reach it. Since she was a wizard, she couldn’t take the book back from me by force without magic.
“What are you hiding so preciously? Let’s see… .”
“……”
At this point, I was sure that my guess was correct. I felt delighted at the sight of this heroine who was as innocent as a snail, and looked at the cover of the book in my hand.
“Summer of being subjected to the slave prince”
There, I saw a novel title that was very famous, so many people had read it that it was sold out in every bookstore on the continent, but no one could confidently say that they had actually read it.
It was a shocking novel that was often covered in the newspapers. I also knew about it thanks to that.
Anyway, the important thing is that it is a subversive book.
It is a book that is extremely against the norm for a butler’s daughter and a noble lady of the Allied Nations to read.
So, if you get caught, you’ll be incredibly embarrassed and ashamed.
“Daniela… .”
“That, stop.”
Before she could say anything, Daniela trembled with shame, and her pale, pretty face turned red because her face was ripe enough to burst.
“Do, my younger sibling asked me to do it… .”
“You don’t have a younger sibling, right?”
It’s not that I didn’t read the original before Bing. I just got halfway through. I do know that Daniela is an only daughter.
“My roommate asked me to borrow it… .”
“Where are the roommates in the first class dorms?”
Daniela, who had been making excuses that were not even worth mentioning, finally started to cry. She was angry because she felt like she had been caught by the shameless villainess Young-ae. She was embarrassed because her secretly developed tastes had been discovered.
“Hipp-”
“……”
But isn’t it better to be caught by me than by Karl?
Well, that guy would already know since he read the original.
That the polite and cautious young lady who was expected by the Allied Forces was secretly building up her impudent desires.
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