episode_0085

The rain poured down heavily.

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The summer rain that falls late in August. It was an unwelcome guest that came late, after the rainy season had passed.

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– Swish—.

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And, the guest was not welcomed by Cesar Lee, who was running frantically in the cold rain.

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“Why is it raining all of a sudden? Damn it.”

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Despite his grumbling, Caesar continued to run, for his destination was not far away.

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A moment later, as Cesar turned the corner of the alley, he saw a shabby house that looked like something you would see in a backwater corner of a city. Cesar headed straight for it.

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Eventually, Cesar was able to enter the shabby house. He shook off the rainwater that had soaked through his clothes.

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“… It’s all wet.”

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The damp clothes clung to his body and made him feel uncomfortable, but he was able to bear it. Cesar walked toward the common entrance of the house.

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A large spiderweb hangs from the ceiling of the corner of the hallway, and a musty, moldy smell slowly seeps into Cesar’s nostrils. He also thinks he can hear a low muttering coming from somewhere.

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In a word, it was ominous. It was a four-story multi-family house that looked to be quite old. It made me wonder if anyone lived in a building like this.

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To put it badly, it was an abandoned house, and to put it nicely, it was an abandoned house where people had just lived and moved out. The difference between the two was that, to put it nicely, the warmth of people still remained.

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Unfortunately, the more I looked around this building, the more I began to think of it as a bad place. There was not even a hint of human warmth.

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Cesar let out a deep sigh and continued walking. The seemingly short but long hallway ended, and soon a wooden staircase appeared in front of him.

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The wooden stairs must have been shiny and shiny a long time ago. It seemed to have been made of wood of decent quality and varnished, but now it had lost its luster and was rotting. The hardened varnish was strangely unpleasant.

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– Creak. Creak.

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As he climbed the stairs, an ominous sound kept echoing. Cesar had to take each step with great anxiety, lest the floor collapse.

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“Damn… . What kind of buildings are these?”

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In this day and age when redevelopment fever is blowing especially in aging areas within the system, how can a building like this still survive?

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As Cesar climbed the stairs while grumbling, an old door appeared in front of him that showed signs of having been used by some people. Cesar paused for a moment and watched the situation beyond the door.

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“… … .”

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It was quiet. There was no sound. It felt like I had entered a truly abandoned house, not a building where people lived. Cesar knocked on the door, brushing away the cold shoulder.

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– Thud! Thud!

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“Hey! It’s me!”

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Even after knocking on the door, there was no sign of life. Cesar knocked on the door again with a puzzled expression.

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– Boom! Boom! Boom!

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“Lucio! Aren’t you home?!”

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Suddenly, a rustling sound was heard from inside the door. Cesar listened.

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– … come in.

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A weak and dry voice was heard. If a human were thrown into the middle of a desert, it would probably sound like that.

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Cesar grabbed the doorknob and pulled. The door, which had not been locked at all, opened smoothly. Seeing this, Cesar was even more shocked.

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“This neighborhood doesn’t seem to be very safe. What are you doing without even locking the front door… .”

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And, and….

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He was speechless.

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It was partly because I saw Father Antonelli lying on the living room floor in a haggard state, as if he were about to die, and partly because of the cigarette smoke that filled the living room.

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At Father Antonelli’s bedside stood an ashtray piled high with cigarette butts. Empty cigarette packs were strewn all over the living room, mercilessly tripping over Cesar’s feet as he walked. Cesar shouted in panic.

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“Cough! Cough! This is crazy… .”

“… … .”

“Hey! Lucio!”

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Father Antonelli made no reply. He simply lay in the living room, quietly smoking his last remaining cigarette.

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His eyes were as powerless as cigarette butts in an ashtray. If someone had pointed to him and said he was a corpse, Cesar would probably believe it.

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The last cigarette in Father Antonelli’s mouth had exhausted its heat, and at last a blank space had come over his mouth. His dry lips were cracked like a withered, withered tree branch.

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“…Why did you come?”

“Why are you here… . Gulp! Oh, let’s get some fresh air first and then talk.”

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Cesar approached the balcony on one side of the living room, pulled back the carefully drawn curtains, and opened the window. The cigarette smoke that had filled the ceiling flowed out through the window.

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It didn’t take long for the cigarette smoke that reminded him of a raccoon’s den to disappear. Dark, rain-filled clouds came into Cesar’s sight.

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“This is driving me crazy. Seriously.”

“… … .”

“You’re right. If you’re going to smoke like this in the house, at least ventilate the room before you smoke. The wallpaper is yellowing? You’ll have to ask the landlord for all the wallpaper later… .”

“Cesar.”

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Cesar turned his head. Father Antonelli had already risen.

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Father Antonelli’s gaze was over Cesar’s shoulder, beyond the open window of the balcony to which he stood with his back to, towards the dark clouds busily crossing the sky.

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He staggered to the wall of the living room, then slid down, leaning against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, perhaps because he had been trapped in a cloud of cigarette smoke that stung his eyes.

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… No. Could it be because of the cigarette smoke?

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Upon closer examination, it seemed that it was not the only reason. The corners of Father Antonelli’s eyes were bright red, as if he had been shedding tears for a long time, and he looked like he was drunk. In terms of being drunk on something, he was practically synonymous with a drunkard.

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Father Antonelli raised his head. At first glance, his eyes seemed to be directed at Cesar, but upon closer inspection, they were not.

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“I want to die. Cesar.”

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He was drunk on despair. A terrible sense of despair, and emptiness.

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Father Antonelli was drunk on something more toxic than any other drink in the world. He was in a coma.

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“I want to jump down like this and die.”

“…Lucio.”

“Do you know what’s funny? When you actually try, you end up giving up. You prepare a strong rope, decide to jump off the roof, try cutting your wrists or neck with a knife… .”

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Sigh. Arsenic rose to the corner of his mouth. Arsenic soaked in despair.

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“All failed. Do you think it’s because you’re afraid of death? No, it’s not.”

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Aaaah—!!

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Father Antonelli suddenly shouted. His shout must have echoed throughout the poorly soundproofed building.

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It was too light to be called a scream, and too brutal to be called a shout. It was closer to the end.

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“Helena’s face won’t leave me. Whenever I try to die, Helena’s face always comes to mind. I think I’m going crazy because of it.”

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It was the last word of personality. Father Antonelli had lost his personality.

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The level at which they treat themselves is below human. However, if you consider them as beasts, there is no warmth in their eyes.

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He was treating himself as an inanimate object. Something that didn’t think, didn’t have a heartbeat, didn’t breathe. Something closer to an object than a living being.

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As he looked at the sight, Cesar felt his heart sink. It was a relationship that had been made on the battlefield and was not long in coming. Except for Father Antonelli, most of the people he had met on the battlefield had died.

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He was in the same unit as Cesar, but was transferred to another unit a few years later. Still, the memories of those few years they spent together were completely engraved in his head. The unit he was transferred to was also a unit under the 101st Brigade.

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So, when I met him in front of the military court, I was secretly happy. He was a person I didn’t even know whether he was alive or dead. I was just happy that he was alive again and appeared before me.

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However, the Father Antonelli he knew had disappeared. Now, he felt like something else wearing the shell of Father Antonelli.

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“Lucio. That person named Helena… . I don’t know who that person is… .”

“… I don’t know. Ha.”

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Father Antonelli bowed his head. His hoarse laughter echoed through the chaotic living room.

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The shaking of his shoulders gradually intensified. It didn’t take long for his laughter to turn into a sobbing cry.

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“Maximilian von Adelheid. He said so too.”

“What did you say… .”

“Helena. Who is that? I don’t know her.”

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Father Antonella raised his head. Unlike a moment ago when he had been weeping, his eyes were still dry.

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“Is it okay if I don’t know? If I had known this would happen, I shouldn’t have known. Maybe I shouldn’t have known about the woman named Helena from the beginning.”

“Hey, calm down.”

“I made a slip of the tongue just now. How could I forget Helena? Helena is my precious… . precious… . Wait. Where did I leave off?”

“… … .”

“Huh, hahaha…! Isn’t that really funny? Because of one Helena, I’m living like this. I, a human being, can fall endlessly!”

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Father Antonelli laughed loudly. It was a laugh like that of a madman. Seeing his mentally unstable appearance, Cesar closed his mouth.

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He held his stomach and laughed for a long time, then he lowered his head and let his arms and legs hang down as if all his strength had left him. A hoarse voice came out of his mouth.

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“… I, the human being, may be one of the few who remember Helena. That’s why I couldn’t die. If even the few who remember Helena are reduced, then it’s really… .”

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Father Antonelli’s words were not finished. An expression came over his face that was heartbreaking to look at.

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Cesar went to the kitchen without saying a word, filled a cup with water, and placed it in front of Father Antonelli, who probably hadn’t had a drink in a long time.

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Father Antonelli stared blankly at the cup filled with water, then took it and began to drink slowly. The pace gradually became more urgent, and by the time he had finished drinking the water, he was drinking it in a hurry.

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“Ugh. Ugh… .”

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Suddenly, Father Antonelli began to sob. It seemed as if the liquid that had just entered his throat was being released as tears, and Cesar ended up having to bring him a few more glasses of water.

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“Are you feeling a little better now?”

“… Sorry, Cesar.”

“Yeah. It seems much better.”

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Looking at Father Antonelli, who seemed to have calmed down a little, Cesar let out a faint sigh. He wasn’t even taking care of a child, what was this?

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It was just a pity. Cesar looked at the pale face of Priest Antonelli and opened his mouth.

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“I came here because I had something to tell you… . I’m not feeling so well today.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“Well, I don’t care… . Shall we come back tomorrow and talk?”

“It’s okay now.”

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Cesar examined the complexion of Father Antonelli. He seemed to have regained some color, but he seemed to have come to his senses to some extent.

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“I was thinking about whether or not to tell you this… . I decided. You deserve to be with us.”

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Cesar’s expression hardened. Father Antonelli, seeing his serious face, asked back.

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“What does that mean?”

“Director Adelheid. Soon, we will hold a demonstration to officially condemn that human.”

“… Protest, you say?”

“Yeah. Actually, I recently founded a new organization?”

“… … .”

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Father Antonelli listened to the story in silence. Cesar’s story continued.

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“The name is short War Soldiers’ Association. Most of the members are retired soldiers. It’s still in the early stages of establishment, but the number of members gathered now is quite large. Roughly thirty people?”

“… The name is too extreme.”

“I know, damn it. It’s not just us who thinks that way, it seems like they’ve been following us lately. They’re probably from some intelligence agency or Adelheid’s inner circle who’s been eavesdropping on our plans like rats.”

“Cesar.”

“But if we use a name that is too bland, it will be hard to show our determination. Let’s just say there is nothing we can do. Do you think they will harm us?”

“That’s a naive thought. If it were that person… .”

“That’s why we have to show our determination. Lucio.”

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Cesar’s eyes shone strangely. His eyes, burning with an inexplicable passion, looked like the eyes of a revolutionary. Father Antonelli felt a sudden sense of unease.

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“Lucio. Come join us. If you join us, we will be more perfect.”

“… … .”

“Of course, I will respect your opinion no matter what choice you make. Think about it slowly.”

“… I.”

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Father Antonelli was unable to answer readily. Although he was frustrated, Cesar waited patiently for his answer.

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“I don’t know.”

“Lucio.”

“It’s too dangerous. Wouldn’t it be better to stop?”

“… You don’t know anything.”

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Cesar sighed and walked away. He took out a piece of paper and a pen from his bosom, wrote something down, and placed it in front of Father Antonelli.

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“Here’s the address of our military council office. If you change your mind, come by anytime. We’ll welcome you with open arms.”

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Cesar took another step, this time facing the front door rather than Father Antonelli.

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“Then, I’ll go. Eat something. If you keep going like this, you’ll probably have to do it today or tomorrow.”

“… … .”

“Lock the front door too. What if a thief comes in? Ugh. Well, there’s nothing to steal. Anyway, I’ll go.”

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With those words, Cesar left. Father Antonelli was left alone in the living room, staring blankly at the paper Cesar had left behind.

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– Gulp… .

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There was a sound of dark clouds moving. Father Antonelli turned his head and looked out the window.

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The dark clouds that linger. The tears of Damcheon that stopped for a moment, but seemed like they would pour down again at any moment.

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‘That day too, the weather was like this.’

The day I had tea with Priest Helena and received a request from her about the Academy.

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Suddenly, Father Antonelli remembered that day.

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… It was a day when even the weather was not to my liking.

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