episode_0085

“Um, um… ”

Dense facial features, flowing red-blond hair.

Amethyst colored eyes.

The slightly fresh eyes are gently curved.

A humming sound came out of her red, moist lips, adding a little bit of liveliness to the neat atmosphere of the room.

“Is Carlyle preparing for Alba…?”

Vita was rolling around on the bed.

There was no special meaning to Carlyle hugging the big stuffed animal I bought him at the aquarium on our first date. It was just a new habit that had developed naturally.

Vita herself didn’t have this kind of personality from the beginning.

Men usually don’t prefer dolls, so of course I’ve never had one like this in my room.

In any case, Vita herself had lived as a man for quite some time, and it’s not as if those memories have suddenly disappeared.

But now that I see myself as a woman, I’ve decided to accept it.

‘It’s not strange at all.’

So now Vita doesn’t feel awkward about seeing herself like this.

Well, it was a gift, and it was given to me by Carlyle.

These days, really.

You’ve really become Carlyle’s girlfriend, you’ve become his lover.

So now she realizes that she is truly just a woman.

It’s embarrassing, but I don’t particularly hate it. It’s something I chose myself.

‘I’m Carlyle’s girlfriend… ‘

If your thoughts reach this point.

My face is still flushed and the corners of my mouth are still slightly loose.

In a way, Vita left many things behind.

The identity I had as a man, a long-held identity.

Instead, the only thing I got was a seat next to that Carlyle guy.

But, it’s okay.

I have no intention of passing it on to anyone else. Carlyle Schultz is mine, and his affection is mine.

So Vita hugged the doll closer to her. It reminded her of Carlyle’s embrace and she felt regretful, but this was good as it was.

“You are mine now… ?”

Of course, words spoken to a doll would have no meaning, but they were directed at Carlyle Schultz.

The guy has his nose pierced through his own teeth. He regrets it later, but it doesn’t matter at all.

Because I will never let you go.

In fact, this was probably another point that Vita was satisfied with.

‘Even in a country with such shortcomings…’

I may be lacking in many ways, as a woman.

But Carlyle likes him. He has that belief.

So Vita was good.

I have never regretted the choice I made to not go back and remain a woman.

Carlyle always tries to be nice to her, so Vita feels grateful and tries even harder.

‘I’ll be a good girlfriend.’

So, my determination wells up.

Because I want to do as much as the other person does.

A kind and affectionate girlfriend, a girlfriend that men like. I’m trying my best to become that kind of girlfriend.

These days, I always pack lunches for Carlyle and am learning makeup from him, all because of that feeling.

Cooking is a hobby I’ve always had confidence in.

-You can consider it an honor. I don’t think there’s a girlfriend like her.

-Hmm, that tidy one…?

-Of course!

Although Vita always said that in a ticking tone, my heart would race whenever Carlyle would chuckle and pack my lunch.

You probably don’t know how much I worry about what kind of menu would be good and what the other person would like.

I actively learn about makeup through various channels. I ask my friend Sasha and even watch videos.

-I tried it after watching the video, is this how to do it?

-Oh, Bianca. I’m okay now, but…

Because he has so much willpower, he learns quickly.

You now know what eyeliner is, how important skin tone is, and the benefits of sparkling pearls.

Now Vita could understand what he was saying.

Makeup is a woman’s weapon!

I never wear makeup except when I’m dating. But I’ve gotten used to it, and even though I practiced, there were times when the makeup went on really well and I felt bad about just removing it.

So when Vita came to see Carlyle after finishing his part-time job, he left in the same condition.

At first, he was the one who teased me about my awkward makeup. He had a blank expression and his body was frozen.

‘Sat, it works…!’

Clearly, from then on, Vita became more confident.

***

-Can you do it like this? Now, look.

Even now, Vita is lying down and watching makeup tutorial videos on her phone screen.

Aside from makeup videos, Vita also consistently watches videos about girlfriends’ clothing and other habits that men would like.

“That’s so… bold.”

Still, I don’t think I can wear a T-shirt that exposes my belly button.

‘It doesn’t really suit me…’

I’m looking for a style that feels cute and pretty rather than mature. Because I know what kind of style suits my slender body.

These days, I’ve become quite interested in clothes. Clothes, makeup, and even cooking videos.

In many ways, my tastes have now become more feminine than masculine.

After all, I want to look pretty to Carlyle and hear his compliments.

‘Be honest with your heart.’

Vita was proactive.

Even though I feel a little embarrassed about myself like this, and even though I blush slightly when I’m alone in the room, I have no intention of stopping.

It’s not strange for a woman to try to look good to the man she’s dating, right? Even if you were a man, you’d probably constantly try to look good to your girlfriend.

In short, Vita is currently focusing all her energy on one person: Carlyle.

Just, good.

I’m doing this because I want to.

It’s not like the man I was when I was a man has disappeared.

Even Vita Shamal’s true nature of being extremely competitive and hating to lose in anything has not disappeared.

‘If you’re going to do it anyway, do it thoroughly.’

If she had admitted her feelings and decided to become a woman to Carlyle, then this would be the right thing to do.

Carlyle Schultz is a successful guy. He is such a successful guy, so she wants to become a successful woman to match him.

I don’t want to be intimidated by any other woman.

Carlyle Schultz is mine, and to confidently claim ownership, you have to be a heavenly woman who can’t be outdone anywhere!

[From the beginning, you were the only woman for me.]

I am grateful for the kind words the other person gave me, and it makes me try harder.

‘… I’m the same as you.’

Since it has come to this, it is for one man, Carlyle.

It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if Carlyle could become the best girlfriend he could be without regrets.

Hwaruruk-

So Vita’s will was ignited.

The competitive spirit is still there.

His innate competitive spirit has now gone in a different, perhaps even a slightly strange direction.

In fact, my school life is now coming to an end.

The career counseling session is over, and Vita has completed her applications to the top universities.

I heard that the university has an autonomous major system in the first year and that students decide on their major in the second semester of the second year.

‘There’s still plenty of time.’

Let’s experience many things and make decisions later.

Since I like anime and comics, I think I could go into the arts and physical education field.

I’m also interested in fashion, and I’ve noticed this recently while watching a lot of cooking videos. Vita herself really likes a lot of things and wants to do a lot of things.

Before meeting Carlyle, I couldn’t understand why I only cared about rank and grades.

In many ways, Vita has a lot to be thankful for in Carlyle.

By meeting Carlyle Schultz, I learned a lot and rediscovered values that I had forgotten. It was also a happy thing that I ended up going to the same university as him.

-Do you like it that much, Bianca?

-Yeah, okay…!

After hearing that fact from the other person’s mouth yesterday, Vita was thrilled.

Well, both Carlyle and Vita herself have excellent grades, so maybe it was a predictable result.

Carlyle was a science major, so he had other options.

After all, science has a wider scope than liberal arts. Depending on what major you decide on, you could end up going to a university in a different region.

‘Could it be because of me…?’

I don’t think that’s possible, since he’s a very opinionated guy.

So, instead, Vita felt good and laughed in his wide arms.

-It’s good because we go to the same school. Yeah, really.

Carlyle kept patting my head, which made me act even more spoiled. He even hugged my back and nuzzled my cheek.

Thinking back to yesterday, Vita’s face turned bright red.

“Why did I do that… ”

I have no self-control.

Even when I think about it myself, it seems like the aegyo is getting worse and worse as time goes by.

-Yeah, Carlyle…

They like being petted, and they naturally act cute. They even act spoiled.

Unlike when you are alone, your speech, behavior, and way of thinking all change, and you become more feminine.

No, I mean, I had to admit it.

As for Carlyle, as for that guy, there was no problem because he decided to become a woman.

‘This is really like a pet to that guy…’

Because it seems like he’s Carlyle Schultz’s pet.

Well, but…

If it’s a pet, of course you’ll always be cute to it, right? Will you only take care of it?

If you think about it that way, it doesn’t feel so bad. It’s really serious to have such thoughts.

Vita blushed and thought about meaningless things.

But what is love?

It’s a reflection I’ve been having often these days, without any particular reason.

-…I love you, Bianca.

When I heard Carlyle’s words, I answered with an overflowing heart for a moment.

And even these days, I sometimes say I love you out of habit, but I still don’t really know what love is.

‘What is the difference between liking and love…?’

I clearly like her, but she is too precious to me. I feel a little embarrassed to express it as love.

Maybe he’s still immature. These days, Vita sometimes finds himself thinking like this.

I vaguely feel that love is something that happens between mature men and women, that is, between real adults.

I used to think that I was an adult just because I was older, but I still don’t feel that way. In reality, I’ve just barely reached the threshold of adulthood, but it feels like I’m still a long way from that.

‘But if Carlyle is like that…’

If you say it’s love, it was just like that. Since he’s a mature guy, you can trust him and follow him.

To be exact, it is not a way of thinking that follows Carlyle, but rather a way of thinking that walks alongside him. It was he who acknowledged him as his life partner.

So if that Carlyle Schultz guy loves me, he loves himself too, Vita thinks.

‘So, love… ‘

This heart is love.

Uh, um.

Your face will turn red and you will realize that you are being bitten.

She said that she was currently in love with Carlyle.

When I realize it again, my body shrinks and my face feels hot for no reason. My emotions are overflowing and a part of my heart feels ticklish.

‘I love you, Carlyle…’

As I hugged the doll tightly and thought about it in my mind, I felt like something big had happened.

My heart, which had grown to its limit, and the heart I had thought of as such, is swelling even more with each passing day. Far from shrinking, it is growing even bigger.

I saw it at school, and I want to see it again.

I want to be next to Carlyle every hour. I don’t want to leave.

We’ve only been dating for a little over a month.

Already, the bitterness in my heart has become distant.

‘If we continue like this, later on…’

Aren’t you obsessed with Carlyle? Aren’t you unable to do anything without him?

I had that feeling and let out a deep sigh.

But the sigh that was followed immediately by a faint laugh was probably all love.

***

A maturing mind, changing habits.

However, not all aspects of Vita are feminine. Some aspects have changed, but not completely.

No one can determine the boundaries between male and female. It is simply the gender one is born with.

But if there is such a thing as universal taste, perhaps we can draw a line between men and women.

Men like robots and women like dolls, men are more rational and women are more emotional.

People universally distinguish between these parts.

If you look at it from that perspective.

Certainly, recent Vitas have become more feminine, but this change has been voluntary.

Because I want to be an active and proactive woman. Because I want to repay Carlyle’s feelings, and because of my unique personality of not doing anything half-heartedly once I make up my mind, I’m trying my best.

That doesn’t mean we’re going back to the past.

Carlyle Schultz became feminine, but now he is a woman.

Clearly, Vita’s past has a different corner. That past self has not disappeared and still exists with her.

“Wow, awesome… !”

Vita, who was looking at her phone, opened her mouth in a daze.

“As expected, Lala-tan… She’s so pretty, really.”

It’s not the kind of expression a celestial woman would make. Because it’s just a little bit and drool will start to drip from the corners of her mouth.

The fact that winter is fast approaching means one thing to nerds, in other words.

‘Comic Fest’ is coming!

Vita, a true fanatic, has never missed an event like this, which is like a festival for all the fans in the world. Of course, I will definitely participate this year as well.

-Hello, everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve greeted you. Today’s a maid cosplay!

Black hair, red eyes. Pretty and petite features. Eyes are naturally drawn to the maid outfit and garter belt.

However, this is the part that has changed. In the past, I might have been captivated by the sight of a garter belt. That may be a very natural reaction for a man.

Instead, Vita’s gaze was fixed on the sleek lines of her legs and her chest, which certainly looked larger than her own.

‘… I’m a little jealous.’

If thinking like this, and thinking as a woman, is a little different from the past, then it must have changed.

The famous cosplayer Lala, commonly known as Lala-tan, has been Vita’s favorite cosplayer for a long time.

Maybe it was Nathan.

I also saved him from the clutches of that punk whose name I’ve now forgotten. I remember stopping him because he kept making excuses.

-Thank you for your help.

-Oh, no…!

At that time, Vita came forward for no other reason. As a fan of Lara, he was much more nervous in front of Cosplayer Lara than when he was trying to stop Nathan, who was much bigger than him.

Vita’s favorite character, whom she regards as her best friend.

A cosplayer who became famous for cosplaying as Magical Girl Eve. She became an enthusiastic fan through that.

There are a lot of pictures and I got several autographs.

-Oh, there I am again.

-Ah, hehe… I’m a huge fan.

-Thank you for liking it.

It feels like I’m seeing a celebrity. Should I say something like that?

Vita was a huge fan of Cosplayer Lala. She had always liked her, almost like she was longing for her.

-See you at the upcoming Comic Fest in Eve! Get ready for the magical girl sortie-!

‘Magical Girl Eve Cosplay on Christmas Eve…’

Good, very good.

‘As expected, Lala-tan definitely has a sense.’

After checking the contents under the photo, Vita’s heart started pounding faster. She wanted to get excited.

Lately, even my favorite hobby has been put on the back burner.

Suddenly, I realize how much I have been paying attention to Carlyle.

Tiring- Tiring-

Suddenly the phone rang and Vita answered it.

-Senior, did you see that?!

The above voice is heard.

As a helpless nerd, Lu, who is his junior, is of the same ilk as him.

But even as Vita clicked her tongue, she also remembered her own voice.

-Then who am I! I’m already so excited.

Comic Fest is coming.

A festival where cosplayers gather, various secondary creative works are produced, and true nerds gather together.

-Even though it’s Eve, you’re going with me this time too, right?

-Yeah, that’s right…

Vita has always attended events with Rue, and of course I thought it would be the same this year. I never doubted this fact, but…

***

But as I was saying something, I suddenly remembered Carlyle’s face.

‘Oh, wait a minute… Why are you doing it on Eve of all days?’

The position has changed from before.

Of course, if it had been the previous Vita, I wouldn’t have hesitated even if I had done it on Christmas, but things are different now. More than anything, the time I spend with Carlyle is the most important.

And of course, even Vita, who is a complete novice in love, knows that Eve feels like she needs to go on a date.

So a thought crossed Vita’s mind.

‘Then, Carlyle and…?’

If you go to a comic festival together, it’s almost like a date, and since the guy you don’t get along with is just getting started with anime, it would be fun to take him along and look after him.

The corners of his mouth slowly turned up, but sweat began to form on Vita’s forehead.

-Did you hang up, senior…?

-Oh, no?!

-Why aren’t you talking?

-Um, um…

I feel quite sorry for that guy, but I like it when we’re alone together. It’s hard to show him a cute side while being too affectionate.

But why does it feel like a betrayal? Vita thought for a moment and then made up her mind. Although Rudo is a precious relationship, it is natural that Carlyle Schultz is the top priority. He is my boyfriend.

-… Excuse me.

Vita coughed loudly and forced her words out.

-I’m going to go too… but I don’t think I can go with you…

Hehe, there was a pause for a while as he awkwardly laughed and scratched his cheek.

He’s a quick-witted guy, so he’ll know what I mean.

-You want to go with your boyfriend…?

Vita just remained silent.

I feel like my face is getting hot for no reason.

-You’re going to abandon your beloved junior and go with your boyfriend?

-… … .

Silence is a silent affirmation.

-Wow, really… I can really feel it…

How could a senior do this to a junior? How could he betray me? Even from Vita’s perspective, he heard ridiculous things.

-You’ve become a female nerd, no, a popular kid…! Senior, you can’t even be called a true nerd anymore…!

Stop-

Vita hung up the phone for now. The other person had crossed the line, so there should be no problem now.

‘…What is female corruption?’

It seems like this guy, Lou, has read quite a lot of doujinshi. The relationship between Carlyle and himself is not something that can be expressed in such vulgar words.

‘That’s why you don’t have a girlfriend yet. Oh my, really.’

Vita texted Lou with a slightly indignant expression on her face.

-… It wasn’t an easy decision.

Actually, it didn’t even take 3 seconds to think about it.

-… Be happy, senior. It means to abandon your wife and live well.

Had she given up now? Vita paid no attention to Lou’s long-winded nonsense.

It’s okay, Lou.

There will surely come a day when you will understand.

If you have a girlfriend, of course it’s normal for the two of you to go on dates together.

After somehow dealing with that annoying(?) guy, Vita’s face brightened.

I was about to send a text to Carlyle, but then I slowly changed my mind.

‘Or, while I’m at it…’

A thought I’ve had all along.

I would like to see Carlyle working in person at least once.

Actually, Vita herself is thinking of working part-time during the vacation. She’s just curious about what it’s like to work part-time.

I’m also curious about the environment and appearance of part-time work.

‘Besides, it’s a cocktail bar… I wonder if there will be a lot of female customers…?’

If you think about it for a moment, you’ll realize why you don’t like it.

Anyway, Vita has many things to be curious about. Okay, no, since she is someone she loves, she wants to know more about them.

‘Okay, good.’

After preparing for a long time, he finally left his room with a lot of energy.

The time has come to check out the daily life of Carlyle Schultz that you didn’t know about.