episode_0084
by admin―
Silence fell in the interview room.
“… ”
“… ”
The two people sitting across from each other through a transparent window looked at each other in silence for a while.
A relationship that once loved each other more than anyone else, but is now irreparably damaged.
Chewing over the despair and regret that blossomed within that relationship with her whole body, Tirissia Brouard tried to engrave the boy in front of her in her mind as much as possible, for as long as possible.
From childhood friend to lover, the boy who taught her what love is.
He was someone who truly loved him, and he was someone who truly loved him.
For Tirisia, it was not a thing of the past.
It was the same now.
Even at this moment, as we sit facing each other, my love for him fills my heart.
Just seeing the boy’s face makes my heart pound and my heart flutter to the point where I forget I’m in prison.
But the thin glass window that separated him and himself was reminding him that they were now incapable of touching each other.
Beyond the physical separation, there is a distance between him and his heart.
Now, I realize anew that I have moved further away from an area that can never be narrowed down.
‘Erto…’
Sending a longing look at the boy, Tirisia once again thought of another possible future.
Perhaps, this assumption makes no sense.
Nevertheless,
If he had not fallen into Kelg’s trap, wouldn’t this catastrophe not have existed?
If it weren’t for her fascination, she would never have loved any other man besides Erto.
If not,
If this was a result of his nature, would it have happened even if Kelgra had never existed?
Was he the kind of person who could have many other loved ones, and who would throw the person he previously loved into the trash can for that person?
I don’t know.
Tyrissia couldn’t figure it out.
Any unrealistic expectations about unverifiable possibilities are simply meaningless.
Reality was just telling us, coldly and clearly, one truth.
That she had betrayed Erto for another man.
That was it.
Any other possibility of a happy future has already been ruled out.
He had already committed a sin and had caused great harm to the boy.
It caused such a huge collapse that the boy’s heart was shattered and rebuilt into something completely different.
That fact is already irreversible,
Now all she was allowed to do was to apologize and beg for his help, even if he never turned to her again.
With the long road of atonement laid out before her, Tirisia finally opened her mouth to the boy.
“How have you been?”
“… Yeah.”
Erto also nodded, breaking the silence at her question.
His yellow eyes were filled with deep sadness and emptiness as he looked at the girl in prison uniform before his eyes.
“… I’m sorry, Erto, for not listening to you.”
“… No.”
Erto shook his head with a bitter expression at Tirisia’s apology.
“I don’t think your choice was wrong. Kelg was the enemy who caused trouble between us, and he was a villain who tried to overthrow this country. I think he deserved to die.”
“Huh… ? But, Erto didn’t want me to kill that man.”
When Tirisia asked in surprise at the unexpected recognition, Erto let out a light sigh.
“Yes, that’s right. But I also understood your feelings, both rationally and emotionally. Even so, the reason I stopped you was… I think it was my selfishness that I didn’t want to turn you, Tirisia, into a murderer.”
“That’s…that’s it.”
“But it happened already, and I don’t intend to blame or criticize you, Tirissia. I think it was well deserved. It’s just… a little sad that you have blood on your hands.”
“Erto… ”
Sadness came over Tyrissia’s face.
“I’m sorry, I made your heart heavier… ”
Erto simply shook his head with a calm expression.
“You don’t have to apologize to me, Tyrissia. Our relationship is over, and your choice is entirely yours. The sadness I feel is just a byproduct of my selfishness.”
But Tyrisia closed her eyes tightly and shook her head.
“No, it’s all my fault that our relationship has become like this… In the end, it’s all my fault. That’s why I have to apologize. I’m sorry, Erto… ”
“… ”
When she bowed her head and apologized, Erto looked at her for a moment before opening his mouth again.
“… Let’s stop talking about your actions so far. I came here today to talk about what’s going to happen next, rather than to judge what’s wrong with what’s already happened.”
“… Okay, I got it.”
Tirisia slowly raised her head, and Erto began telling her a new story.
“You already heard about the coming civil war from Celdianne, right?”
“Yeah… Erto Nega is participating in that war too… ”
“Yes, that’s right. I’m trying to stop this war with minimal damage.”
“Erto… I think you… ”
As Tirisia tried to say something, Erto spread his palm and interrupted her.
“Tirisia. This is my choice.”
“… ”
“I know it’s dangerous. But I want to use the power and abilities I’ve gained in the right places. That way… I think I’ll feel like what I’ve been through wasn’t meaningless.”
At those words, a moist aura appeared in her jade-colored eyes and Tirisia’s voice began to tremble.
“But… just in case… if I think that I will never see you again in the worst case scenario… I… ”
But Erto spoke to her without changing his expression at all.
“Even if that’s the case, nothing will change, Tirisia.”
For a moment, Tirisia’s expression hardened, and she asked the boy she was facing.
“What does that mean?”
“No matter what direction the future unfolds before me, today will be the last time we meet.”
“Huh… ?”
She leaned forward in her chair, doubting what she had heard.
“Does that mean…you won’t come see me anymore?”
“Yeah.”
“… ”
Tirisia, her face pale, stared blankly at the boy’s face with her mouth open.
What I felt there was a determination that was already extremely solid, a determination to move forward even though I knew that the path I was taking was full of thorns.
“The biggest reason I came to see you today is to say goodbye for the last time.”
“Erto… Don’t do that… ”
Tirisia shook her head to stop him, but Erto continued to speak with a bitter expression on his face.
“If I die in the war, of course I won’t be able to see you again.”
“No… ”
“But even if I survive, I have no intention of seeing you again.”
“Please… ”
“So either way, it’ll be the same result for you.”
“Erto!”
Tyrissia jumped up from her seat and shouted his name.
But Erto simply discussed reality with a calm face.
“… You know there’s nothing we can do. We can’t go back to how we were. So in order to survive, we have no choice but to forget each other.”
“No… No… I don’t like it… ”
Thud, thud,
The moisture that had been rising in her jade-colored eyes began to fall like drops.
Tirissia placed her palm on the transparent window separating herself and the boy, and forced a smile.
“I can’t forget Erto… How could I… The person I loved my whole life… Even if I say this now, you won’t believe me… But I still love you.”
Only then did the boy, for the first time, avoid the girl’s gaze and reveal the pain that was etched across his face.
“… I won’t condemn that feeling as a lie. But what can’t be done can’t be done.”
“Erto, I was wrong… Please give me another chance… Okay? I won’t force you to go back to how things were before right away. Just… Please stay by my side in some way and give me time to atone… Please.”
Despite her pleas, which included tears streaming down her face and her best effort to smile kindly at the boy, Erto shook his head.
“Tirisia… This is not only a path for me, but also for you. If you hold on to someone who cannot accept your heart, you will only hurt yourself more.”
“It doesn’t matter! That doesn’t matter!”
Tirissia lowered her head and screamed.
“No matter how much I get hurt… What matters to me is that I can stay by Erto’s side a little longer. Even if I’m rejected forever… It’s better than never being able to see Erto! Losing you is the most terrifying hell for me!”
“Tirisia… This is my last request.”
The boy let out a deep sigh and got up from his seat.
“You don’t have to reflect on the sins you committed against me in there. I hope you stop tormenting yourself.”
“Erto… !”
“But please, even if it takes a long time, forget me. I will try my best to do so.”
“Erto, I was wrong… I said I was wrong… !”
The boy slowly took a step back, looking at the girl pleading with her hands on the transparent window.
“That’s the only way left for us. We have to accept reality.”
“I don’t like it… ! I don’t like it… ! Erto!”
“Please stay healthy and don’t have any stupid thoughts, even if it’s for the rest of your life.”
“Erto… ”
“Then, I’ll end our last greeting here.”
As the boy turned his back on her, Tyrisia clung to the transparent window and called his name incessantly.
“Erto! Erto!”
“Hello, Tirisia. I truly loved you and was happy.”
Step by step – step by step –
The boy walks out of the interview room,
“Erto! Wait! Please stay by my side!”
The girl cried and reached out her hand towards his back,
“Don’t leave me! Erto―! I love you! I love you―!”
The person she loved never looked back at her again.
Empty.
The interview room door closes,
Tirissia was left alone.
“Sob… Sob… !”
dump!
Her body collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down her face.
“Ahhh… Ugh… Huhhhh… ”
Burying her face in her palms, she poured out with all her might the despair and regret welling up from deep within her.
“Eeee… Aaaah …
Who can be blamed?
It’s all your own doing.
Betraying Erto,
Killing Kelg, too,
Because I did things even though I knew the price.
If there was anyone he could blame and curse, it was himself.
Now is the real beginning.
Tirissia Brouard’s long journey of atonement.
I couldn’t tell what was waiting at the end of that road, or if there was even an end in the first place.
Tirisia had no choice but to take that first step with a broken heart.
A thin thread of hope―
Praying that it will come down to you someday.
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