episode_0084
by fnovelpia
The man in front of him felt like a mountain to Karl.
Rather than a solid structure created by human hands, it felt like seeing a spectacle of nature in its raw state, which was more wondrous, surprising, and sometimes even frightening.
There is no need for complicated rhetoric. The man in front of you is strong. Simply strong.
But the moment you personally realize the meaning contained in those simple words, you will find yourself paying homage to his immeasurable realm while accepting his sword.
If you think about the man in his daily life, this is impossible.
A pathetic neighborhood bastard, a bum who makes you sigh just by looking at him. In Kal’s eyes, that’s how the man in front of him is.
Until I picked up the sword… .
“How many times have you dropped your sword?”
The man suddenly asked.
“I stopped counting at around twenty times…”
“Then how many times do you think you died?”
“The number of times you missed.”
“Really?”
The sword was a death knell. When he spoke to me while I was struggling to catch my breath, I wanted to throw it all away. I wanted to escape the helplessness of the agonizing defeat. I had no idea when I would ever be able to overcome that man.
A man with gray hair roughly swept back speaks in a gruff voice, awkwardly speaking. The man, who is nearing his forties, looks at first glance like he is in his early to mid-thirties.
Although he was born a commoner, he was successful and thus was spared the ravages of time. I thought, “It’s good to be successful.”
Before Bing, I wasn’t interested in him. When I was Kim Se-jin, he was far from my interests.
The reason I indulged in this male-oriented web novel was solely because of the heroines and the main character. The empire, the war, the demons, etc… I liked the plot twists and turns in the world. Now that I look back, I wonder why I did that, and I regret it.
Because now I had to somehow become stronger through him.
In the wide underground training ground, a whistling sound of wind could be heard. Carl wondered if there was an open door somewhere.
Louis turned the wooden sword in his hand around and said.
“Disappointing? Is this all you can give up on?”
“You’re giving up?”
“Do you think dropping the sword means death?”
…I was going to say, “If it were you, it would definitely be death.”
“Come at me again.”
Louis took a defenseless stance with his arms wide open. That made me feel even more vulnerable.
fault-!
The sword charged without hesitation. He was already exhausted, but now was not the time to consider such matters. Impatience was spurring him on.
“…!?”
Although he had not expected it at all, Louis, who had been blocking several sword strikes, missed his wooden sword. With a whirring sound, his wooden sword flew far away.
“What are you staring at? Isn’t this your chance!?”
At Louis’s provocative urging, Karl gritted his teeth and struck again. It was a full-force strike, using up what little strength he had left.
But the sword’s blow did not reach Lewis. His posture was as vulnerable as it could be because he had made a big, hasty movement. Lewis was not a man who would miss such an opening.
widely-
It was a split second.
Louis dodged his opponent’s outstretched sword slightly, then pushed his opponent’s shoulder with the palm of his hand.
The sword fell forward due to inertia. It was a pitiful sight even to his own eyes, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that he was one step away from being overpowered by an unarmed opponent.
“Keuk-!”
Louis stepped on the fallen Karl’s wrist without hesitation. Of course, he controlled his strength, but it was enough to make Karl groan in pain and let go of the wooden sword he was holding.
“Even so, is the number of times you miss a sword the number of times you die?”
“……”
“The answer to the first question is ‘0’.”
… The answer that came to my throat was, “This is possible because you are the director.”
Karl Maynor, still not used to this body. He has adapted to the male body, but he is not used to his talent as a knight at all. In the novel, Karl was born with talent, as well as the will and personality to use it, but the current Karl is not like that.
Originally, I couldn’t live a life where I would become stronger and stronger like the owner of this body. I even had a feeling that I would never be able to recreate the scene in the novel where I was able to push back against the Unknown without the Holy Sword.
No, to be honest, I hated myself for still being so lacking that the grand title of ‘Master of the Holy Sword’ pales in comparison.
I didn’t think there would be much to do with dangerous objects like the Holy Sword. I thought it would just be full of fun things to do, such as attacking heroines. Even though the threat of the Unknown and the Rebels was real in the original, I ignored it. It’s human nature to want to be close to only things that I like and like.
I can still hear the wind blowing.
Louis said as he grabbed Carl’s arm and helped him up, who was lying down and only blinking his eyes.
“Aesong-ah, when I first saw you-”
“?”
I thought this guy was going to start saying something weird again.
“I wish you were different from us. I wish you had only good things happen, different from what we have experienced.”
“Does that mean I’m special? Then I’ll go astray. I’ll be drunk on false pride.”
“To divert the conversation, I’m not talking about the holy sword or swordsmanship. I’m talking about the look on your face when you first saw her, like you were willing to pay any price to save Alana. That’s a kid.”
“Isn’t it still cute?”
Louis chuckled softly and approached the tea table set up in the corner of the training grounds.
“Some people lose their chance before they even pay the price. It’s too late. That’s how they end up regretting the past.”
“……”
I looked closely at his appearance, wondering if he was still holding his sword, as he spoke so earnestly and uncharacteristically of Louis. That gentleman only looks serious when he is holding his sword.
“Because of that regret, some people’s lives change completely. They want to turn back, go back and fix it. They just realize that nothing will ever change, and they suffer and repeat.”
But Louis was holding a teacup instead of a sword in his hand. He took the cup off the shelf and poured coffee into it.
“I really couldn’t help it. It’s the past, right? I can’t change it. But… when I see something similar to the past, I get sucked into it.”
Karl didn’t respond and just watched Louis. I wondered if he was offering him coffee, but he was sipping his coffee alone. That was typical of Louis.
“I hoped you wouldn’t regret it. He probably felt the same way as I did. That’s why I couldn’t just watch. I helped you out of a sense of duty for the Empire, and because it was my job as the Director of the Information Bureau… but I just helped because I wanted to help. Otherwise, I thought I’d regret it again.”
Dalgrak – The sound of teacups clinking was heard.
“And in the end, you became different from us. You stopped making the same past we regret. You saved Alana, right?”
“… I appreciate it. Always.”
Suddenly, I felt like I was expecting a belated thank you. So I expressed my gratitude in the best way I could.
“Tsk tsk, we didn’t mean to hear such greetings. Rather, we were grateful.”
“?”
“Because I could feel it that way. I thought that the past that I wanted to change even if I had to turn back time had come back in this form. Unlike us, seeing you protected made me choke up.”
Only then did Carl vaguely realize what Louis was talking about. He was talking about the Duke of Maynor and the woman Louis had been in love with. As far as Carl could remember, the reason they had both risen to the top of the empire was because of her death.
Carl became curious as to what kind of woman she was that left such a strong impression on both of their lives.
“Do you remember what the Duke said back then?”
“Chris?”
Louis put down his teacup, crossed his arms, and looked at the knife.
“Future.”
“Hmm?”
“Now, don’t look back on the past and look to the future, he said.”
“… If you can’t even do that, what can you do to Aesongi?”
“Can you tell me more about what you said back then? I think you would know what I mean, Director.”
Louis chuckled.
“Yeah, I know. That guy is on the palm of my hand.”
“……”
I ignored it because it didn’t seem like that at all. I was afraid that if I tried to answer, I would inadvertently say, “That’s not possible.”
“Kal, protecting Alana once isn’t the end.”
“Are you saying Alana is in danger again?”
“No, at least not as we expected… It’s going to get a lot more complicated than that.”
“Is it because of the royal family?”
All the complicated things in this world are about royalty and the unknown.
“Well, it’s similar.”
“?”
“You’ll have to keep trying.”
“I’m still doing it.”
The knife shook out his tattered clothes, as if to prove the harsh training he had undergone.
“You don’t just have to talk about the sword, you always have to think and ponder. You also have to know when to throw it away. Until you know for yourself what is right and what is wrong.”
“……”
“But don’t give up. Whenever you feel like giving up, think of you. You who stood up to the Archbishop and the church. The boy who challenged the impossible to save the woman he loved.”
“Alana and that kind of-”
“I’m embarrassed.”
Louis pointed to Carl’s face.
“Your face is still red.”
Before I knew it, my cheeks were burning hot. I remembered Alana’s hand stroking my chin.
“Now she is the saint of the church, so I can only look up to her.”
“You’ll get higher anyway.”
I burst out laughing. I felt pathetic because of the self-destructiveness I felt from the knights at the podium today.
“Because we’ll make it happen. You gave us the experience of changing the past, so let’s make the future too. Because we’re curious.”
“……”
“And don’t forget. You are you. What you like, why you like it. What you ultimately want. Because no one can tell you that for you. In the end, you must never forget yourself. That’s the only way to keep going and keep moving forward.”
“Are you two living like that too?”
It’s the same answer I always give. I was curious too.
“Of course.”
Louis answered with a look of pure confidence that Karl had never seen before. Karl looked at him in silence, perhaps impressed by the sight.
“My past, stained with regret, sometimes torments me. A past that I couldn’t protect because I was weak. But thanks to it, I gain the strength to live today. Isn’t it amazing?”
“… Yes.”
“It’s all me. The weak me of the past that I hate so much, the me of the present that came here with regret as the driving force. In the end, it will lead to the future. Because I know very well what I want.”
“What is that?”
“You’ll find out someday.”
“Can you tell me now?”
“Tell the children.”
“You talk like a duke.”
“What? Don’t treat me like that guy.”
I wondered how he could be so sure. I guess it was because he felt different from the Louis I saw in the original — who I hadn’t noticed because I was so focused on the heroines. I also felt like I was getting to know Louis little by little.
Louis’ hand went back to his teacup. He grumbled that the coffee was gone, opened the door, and left the training grounds, leaving a message for the rest of the training to take care of themselves.
Footsteps could be heard climbing the stairs and heading towards the ground level of the safe house.
“I am myself.”
They say that knowing yourself is the hardest thing, but it was doubly hard for Karl, because he was another person in this body.
As of now, there is no past that I would like to change. There are no regrets that Louis or the Duke are experiencing. So let’s look to the future.
Chloe… That easy girl has already fallen for Unknown. Anyway, there’s no need for a sub-heroine like that. She doesn’t need one. She was just a sidekick and concubine for Alana, so it’s a loss to be depressed over losing one.
However, I decided to endure it because of the confusion that would arise from being a descendant of a warrior and a princess.
He didn’t want to hurt the woman who was the heroine. That was the last mercy of Carl Maynor, who was crazy about the heroine. That’s why he let her shamelessly wander around the academy.
The past remains the same, but — fortunately for Karl — the future changes.
If I settle for reality, I might really lose Alana this time. The natural development in the original where Alana became closest to the main character is no longer there. It’s because everything has become twisted. I keep thinking about it, but I still can’t get used to the changed development.
future….
Carl stands beside the saint Alana and dreams of a future where he will finally have her. That is all Carl wants, and it is his purest desire. He plans to keep several other heroines as concubines. He may even treat them as practice partners so as not to show Alana his clumsy side.
It would certainly be a perfect future.
“……”
But every time he thought of this future, every time he thought back on the goals he had dreamed of after his ecstasy, a part of his heart ached. An inexplicable bitterness tormented him.
A feeling of depression that borders on anxiety comes to him. Every time that happens, he tries to recall his memories. What is the problem? But it always remains unresolved. A strange feeling that he doesn’t know the cause or the solution.
The only way to relieve this discomfort. No, there is only one painkiller that can make you forget it for a very short time.
It brings to mind a black-haired woman smiling foolishly.
It reminds me of a woman with a haughty appearance who occasionally shows a silly smile that makes you laugh along with her.
It’s strange.
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