episode_0083
by adminThe child is playing.
Have fun in the bathtub.
And with a very bright expression.
The sight of them playing quietly seemed so enjoyable to us, and we liked it.
Well, it was true that the child seemed to have finally regained his original appearance.
Who could say anything? No one could say anything. To the child who was now free to play as he pleased.
Jujak must have been so impressed by the sight that he ran ahead of Choi Jin-ah, who could be seen as the mother, and picked up the child.
Choi Jin-ah was… frozen. The child had suddenly returned to normal and was not in her right mind.
I was so moved that tears welled up in my eyes and I sat down on the spot.
Yeah, exactly like that.
That much, the sight of a child expressing his emotions like that… … .
And to her, who was seeing it for the first time, it really seemed like it was proving them wrong.
Is this nonsense? No, it was beyond that level.
It didn’t matter whether the young Zhujak was holding the young Baekho and laughing or whatever.
The most important thing was that the child had already changed so much and was moving around among them without any problems.
I tried to calm my mind by wearing a mask and getting up, but that didn’t work on her.
To that extent, this was a touching event for her.
I was sorry. It was so heartbreaking. There was no way to stop the tears from falling from my chest.
If it weren’t for them, that child who would have grown up normally wouldn’t have become like them.
The young magpie looks at me and notices that I am crying.
Lee Yeon slowly comes out of the water and looks up, grumbling.
That look, that behavior. Everything about it. It’s cute. It’s lovable.
I hate myself for the family that prevented me from growing up normally.
“Baby… . I’m sorry, Mom… ?”
He quietly pulls Yeon into his arms and pats her back. Yeon doesn’t say anything and gently licks her cheek.
She cried even more as the child acted as if it was okay and as if he already knew.
Water. The thing that hugged me the most warmly and cozy.
The first thought that came to my mind when I saw it was, ‘Wow, it’s water.’
Pure admiration.
It wasn’t just that, but that was the first thing I felt.
And the warmth that the hot spring water brought gave me a strange sense of elation.
It was strange. I had clearly buried all my feelings. But why, why was I feeling this way?
Even though I had such doubts, I felt like the water was calling me.
It was as if he was saying, ‘If you come inside me and play, it’ll be like that.’
I knew better than anyone that it couldn’t happen, but it felt that way. It was stupid. It was stupid.
Even if you think about it, there is no answer. Because you haven’t learned why emotions come back.
Well then, wouldn’t it be better to do what you want to do right now?
Once I got into the water, I felt like I could just relax normally.
-with a plop.
My body moved before I thought.
As soon as I entered, my body felt drowsy. I was feeling that feeling again. It was strange.
As I was quietly immersing myself in it, the things I had killed came back to life.
These can’t be killed. They can’t be completely eliminated.
I felt it completely, in my arms.
Then why did they tell us to kill our emotions? I didn’t understand. There’s no reason to kill our emotions.
Why me?
What on earth is the reason?
I thought about it a lot, but no answer came to mind.
That’s just how I was taught and raised.
No one told me that was wrong.
I didn’t even think to ask.
Because the only people I could see as parents were the person who taught me this method and the head of the household who wasn’t like a father.
Even though I knew these questions were meaningless, I couldn’t help but ask them.
In that case, wouldn’t it be right to just focus on this feeling you get in the water?
My body naturally shrinks. I didn’t try to use my abilities.
It just seemed like the power turned on automatically according to my emotions.
“… crunch… .”
I didn’t like it one bit, but what can I do? I can’t get rid of the reaction that comes naturally.
It slowly rises above the water.
I looked around and saw only two people looking at me with surprised faces.
But more than that, I wanted to swim slowly through this.
As before, when I was locked in there, this was a place full of warm and good memories for me, full of water.
“That’s right… ….”
It was comfortable. I knew that the situation would look strange to anyone who saw it, but it was so comfortable that I couldn’t help it.
The moment you feel like you’ve fallen into your own world and are about to start swimming in the water.
It was at that moment. I heard someone splashing into the water and hugging me tightly.
…a warm embrace. I thought it would be perfect for me, a small person like always, to be held in that embrace.
It was impossible not to know. It was the embrace of a master craftsman.
A sobbing sound was heard several times.
Something felt strange. Why on earth was she sobbing? What did I do?
No, is it because of me? Are you just happy?
Although I didn’t understand anything, being in the water and in the arms I usually liked, the emotions that came up were enough to make me feel warm.
… I shouldn’t have let my emotions rise, but no matter how many times I killed, this was happening, and I didn’t know what to do.
She was holding me, and it must have been a while. Whoever it was, I heard the sound of someone crying, like the person who brought me here.
… I felt strangely uneasy.
I wondered why that person was crying. Strangely, I felt like I had seen him somewhere before.
That person was the one who brought me here, the one I was supposed to serve. Something was off.
Why does it bother me this much that that person is crying?
Chalbak. He walked out of the water. I had no reason to care about him, nor should I care. But still.
Something inside my heart felt uncomfortable.
Quietly, very quietly, I approached her.
-Lick.
She licks the salt from her flowing heart. She doesn’t know why, but she is sad now.
If I were by your side even just a little, things would get better, right?
I didn’t know why. I thought she would feel that way. Was it because of the way I’d acted up until now?
He liked that I was cared for and looked after. He also hated the fact that I had lost my emotions.
So, is that it?
As the various pieces in my head began to fit together one by one, I felt like I had figured out why she was crying.
But that didn’t make any more sense.
She and I have no relationship.
What’s the big deal? It’s better than being sad and hearing bad things about your family.
I continued to lick carefully.
If you do that, it will calm down… .
But words completely different from what I expected reached me.
“… . I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Mom… . Yeon-ah… .”
The words she was spitting out flew at me, as if she was saying things she had been holding back.
It hurt. My heart ached.
Why?
No, actually, I may know the reason. It’s because she claims to be my mother.
I wish she were really my mother, but that can’t be the case. I’m an illegitimate child.
If she didn’t like the way I was treated, she could have definitely used her position to stop it-l… .
“… That’s right.”
Let’s stop. Whatever she thinks about me, whatever our relationship is, I shouldn’t think about such things.
It’s a useless thought, and even if it were true, to me it’s poison.
It’s no different from poison to the holy grail.
Even if I figured it out, if she really thought of me as her son, if I really was her son or not… .
I was already an illegitimate child, and overturning that was like overturning the country.
‘If I overthrow the country, I will surely die.’
The king, the dragon, is stronger than any other divine beast. That is an unchangeable truth.
It wouldn’t have been right to turn the country upside down like this. I can’t question the method they chose. That’s the position.
“… . I’m sorry… . I’m sorry… .”
… The woman who claimed to be my mother continued to cry. I hated seeing her, but I didn’t want any bad news to be delivered, so I just licked away the tears she was shedding without saying a word.
Meanwhile, on the Knights’ side.
“Tsk. Is this a dud too?”
After finishing my research on the family of the master, I was indignant at the fact that this too was a waste of time.
They didn’t have much time left. It had been a week since the king had ordered them to come here.
The most successful guard in the royal family. That is an unchanging truth and fact.
However, that is only half true.
Why?
Because they have a duty to obey the king’s wishes and everything he says.
The king gives an order and wants it to be resolved in seven days.
If the knights are looking for someone, they are crazy people who think it is their job to do so.
Of course, it makes sense since it takes 7 days to contact me.
That said, if he couldn’t make it happen himself, he’d be a little cussed out… Most of the locations he pointed out were actually close by, so if he couldn’t do it, it was a common thing for him to get fired from the guards.
Every king has done that.
Of course, yes. In terms of rationality, what he or they are doing may be right. No, it may be right.
But it was bad. It was too bad.
Because they just cut you off for not doing your job properly, even if it meant just a few days of pay cut.
“Fuck… .”
It’s been six days now since they came down here.
There are countless villages within the territory of Jujak. It would be easy to go to a place that was close and had a well-paved road, but there were not only such places left.
If we were to divide the group, there weren’t that many people here.
Just enough people to catch one person, plus a few more people to search more thoroughly.
Now, there really was nothing left for them but gambling.
That moment when I thought I was wrong.
A knight opened his mouth.
“I, Captain.”
“Why is that?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now… If you were the captain, where would you hide?”
“Where are you going to hide? What do you mean?”
The captain couldn’t help but be taken aback by the unexpected remark in the article. In the first place, what was the point of asking such a thing now?
Now was not the time to ask twenty questions.
“If you have time to talk nonsense like that, you should probably look somewhere else.”
“My point is, if it were me, I’d hide in a place where there are lots of people.”
“… . A lot of people go there? What is the reason?”
He began to listen carefully to what his agent was saying, in case there was something unexpected.
“Think about it. They say trees hide in the forest. Isn’t it the same for people? The capital is the place with the most people, but if you fall behind, it’s the place you’ll fall behind first.”
“… Well, that’s right. Isn’t that obvious? The capital is the biggest and widest. ”
“We are also looking around to see if they are really hiding, like the darkness under the lamp. However, the opponent is a veteran who has been in battle for a long time. I think they must have known this kind of psychology.”
“… … . Then, she wouldn’t have hidden under the lamp. However, people… . They have to hide among people… . The next place to go is, if not the tourist attraction, then-”
“It’s just a town with a lot of people.”
The captain said with a sly smile.
“Well done, Captain.”
Now it seemed like there really wasn’t much time left to catch the white tiger.
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