episode_0083

[Episode 83] – The beginning of self-awareness

After the dance was over, Titania ran around the large ballroom and quickly started looking for Vivian. Due to the nature of Marzouka’s choreography where partners change frequently, the partner changed several times after dancing with her mother, making it difficult to know exactly where her mother was.

The smile on Titania’s face did not fall as she ran around the ballroom looking for her mother. I never would have thought that my mother would attend the masquerade ball while disguising herself as a man. Titania burst into laughter as she remembered her mother’s cross-dressing appearance.

‘If you hate masquerade balls so much, isn’t your mother the one who enjoys them the most?’

To the extent that I could think of that, my mother’s cross-dressing was perfect.

Broad shoulders and longer legs. Moreover, the flattened chest was hard enough to be mistaken for muscle. It was probably a bandage or something, but the young ladies who touched it while dancing clearly mistook the bandage for a hard muscle. Because Titania herself did the same.

Titania chuckled and quickly started looking for her mother, saying that she would never have noticed if her mother had not spoken to her. After walking around the ballroom for a bit, Titania was able to quickly find her mother.

Finding my mother was a very easy task. That’s right…

“Hey, over there! Could you please do this one more time? “Where did you learn such dexterity?”

“Have you decided on your next dance partner? If you haven’t decided, please-”

“oh! It’s disgusting! “I was going to ask you first!”

“Are you really not saying anything to protect the concept?! yes?!”

Because he was surrounded by young ladies who caught everyone’s attention.

Among the daughters, I could see their mother looking a little perplexed and listening to their stories one by one. He was busy showing off small coin tricks and refusing invitations from young ladies to dance.

The moment Titania confirmed where her mother was and was about to enter the crowd, she saw her mother kissing the back of a young lady’s hand. Perhaps, the young lady had asked her mother for a favor.

‘It’s okay if we don’t dance together, so I hope you do the same thing you did before.’ The mother tilted her chin as if thinking for a moment, then grabbed the back of the daughter’s hand and pressed her lips to it.

“Aaaah! me too! me too!”

At that moment, scream-like cheers erupted from the ladies’ mouths. The young children were also busy showing their hands to their mother, saying they were so jealous. The moment I saw that cheerful appearance –

Titania felt upset.

The reason is unknown, but Titania immediately thought, ‘Maybe I attended the masquerade ball for no reason?’ Are people’s eyes focused on your mother rather than on you? No, absolutely not.

Because I don’t have the desire to show off. In the first place, she attended the masquerade ball to hide her status as a princess. It was actually happiness and joy not to be recognized by others.

By kissing the back of the young lady’s hand? I really didn’t understand this. ‘Why am I angry because my mother kissed the back of the young lady’s hand?’ My mother was just ‘acting’.

But why? Do you feel bad seeing your mother being popular? Shouldn’t we rather like it? No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out why, but Titania didn’t want to leave her mother like that.

So Titania-

“excuse.”

I decided not to let this situation go unnoticed.

As Titania spoke to the ladies from behind, the ladies recognized Titania and split into two sides like waves. The young lady next to her mother also took a step back in an instant.

The fact that everyone recognized her and her attitude changed even though she was wearing makeup and a mask made Titania even more upset. This wasn’t the masquerade ball he had expected.

Titania made her way through the crowd of ladies and looked up at her mother. At first glance, an emotion similar to relief was visible in the green eyes seen through the small eye holes in the wolf mask.

It was clear that those green eyes contained not only a feeling of relief but also an expectation that this situation would be resolved. However, Titania left her mother behind.

He spread his fan to cover his mouth, narrowed his eyes, and smiled seductively.

“Youngsik, could you please ask me to be your dance partner?”

Then, Titania held out the back of her hand to Vivian.

The ladies who saw the back of Titania’s outstretched hand began to murmur.

Who on earth is that Yeongsik, asking the princess to dance personally? He muttered so loudly that it was meaningless to whisper, saying that the princess had never personally requested a dance before.

Vivian, who heard the muttering, widened her eyes and was taken aback by Titania’s sudden action. Then, he gently nodded, saying he understood why Titania behaved like this.

Vivian believed in Titania, saying that this was the only way to get her out of this place. Clearly, there was no way out of this situation other than to become someone’s partner.

Vivian gently wrapped Titania’s hand.

Then, as a sign of permission, he brought the hand he was holding to his mouth and gently pressed his lips to the back of the hand.

As Titania felt her mother’s hot, soft lips against her skin, she felt the hairs on her entire body stand on end. It was probably just a normal kiss, but for some reason it was different.

What is it? How do you feel? Joy? moved? I don’t know what it was, but Titania felt something penetrating her entire body. That feeling felt like my heart was being squeezed, and for some reason, I started laughing.

When she glanced down at her mother who was kissing the back of her hand, Titania felt better, as if her bad mood had been a lie. So much so that it really sends shivers down my spine.

When Vivian lifted her lips from the back of Titania’s hand, the ladies around her sighed and cheered at the same time. There were lamentations of regret over losing Yeongsik and excited cheers of seeing something good.

When the exclamations and cheers ended, the ladies around Vivian and Titania began to disperse. In an instant, when only the two of them were left, Vivian smiled and whispered in Titania’s ear.

“Thank you, honestly, I was worried about how to get out…”

“So, why did you dress like a man?”

“…?”

For some reason, Vivian didn’t know what to say at Titania’s angry attitude, so she kept her mouth shut. Did he get upset because they made fun of him and called him a bitch when he was dancing earlier?

Or, was the masquerade ball more disappointing than expected? Titania’s expression began to become more and more wrinkled. He seemed disappointed or uncomfortable. Vivian gently lowered her head and whispered softly in Titania’s ear.

“Are you upset because I teased you? Or is it because the Masquerade was a disappointment? “You don’t look very good… Could it be that your mom did something wrong to you?”

“My mother didn’t do anything wrong to me. There’s no way I’d get upset because my mother was teasing me. “The Masquerade is… disappointing, but that doesn’t make me feel bad.”

“okay? “Then why is my daughter so dissatisfied that her expression is so dark…”

“yes? Me? “It must be my mother’s mistake.”

Titania said she had no idea what he was talking about and turned her head to the other side of Vivian.

It was clear that he was upset no matter how he turned his head so that I couldn’t see his face. Vivian tilted her head as if Titania’s sharp attitude was really strange.

As far as Vivian knew, Titania never sulked like this even when she was upset. Titania’s childish attitude was to puff out her cheeks and blow her nose. But my attitude now…

It was like watching a middle school girl go through puberty, and Vivian felt her blood run cold. Vivian was reminded of a story she had seen on TV or on the Internet long ago, about the hardships faced by parents with teenage daughters.

A daughter who suddenly becomes cold and her parents who don’t know what to do. In most cases, the problem was really trivial, and the solution was always a conversation with the child. Because you won’t know unless you talk.

There were many cases where parents left their cold daughter alone, thinking that she would get better soon, but as time passed, the relationship became distant. The daughter ends up crossing the line.

“Anyway, if I never come to the masquerade ball again, that’s it. Because I knew that it was a place where I couldn’t hide even if I wore a mask. Moreover, the problem is that Youngsik tries to force himself to dance with me because of his parents. What would you have thought if I hadn’t changed the song to Marzooka? Besides, the young ladies are also a problem. I guess you really don’t know that you’re wearing a mask, but I don’t know what it is about a mask that completely covers your face like your mother’s that makes you rush at me in the first place? If it weren’t for his mother, wouldn’t Yeongsik really have been offended? “You’re just rushing at me based on the mask and appearance, right?”

Titania gossips about the ladies like a rapid-fire gun.

Vivian thought that Titania’s appearance was really unusual. Maybe it was only in front of her, but Vivian had never seen Titania gossiping about others like this.

‘Oh, it happened about twice. Fran and Fiona…princesses.’

Titania never badmouthed or bitten anyone, except for Fran and Princess Fiona. No matter how much she disliked the other person, Titania simply responded with a smile.

“My mother is like that too. What does it mean for you to kiss your lips when the young ladies extend their hands like that? Youngsiks don’t tempt young ladies like that either. In the first place-”

Vivian, who had been silently listening to Titania constantly gossiping about the children and the ladies, burst into laughter as she thought she knew something. It was the ladies that Titania gossiped about a lot.

In particular, the ladies who came close to him and the ladies who kissed the back of his hand.

“Titania.”

“…Why, mother?”

“Are you jealous of the ladies now?”

“yes?”

Titania looked up at Vivian with wide eyes as if she was dumbfounded. Then, he glared at Vivian with wide eyes, asking why on earth he was jealous of the ladies, as if that wasn’t the case. Vivian, looking at Titania’s expression, just grinned.

“I see~ I see~ My daughter felt that bad when I kissed the back of the lady’s hand? “You felt bad because I didn’t take care of you and only paid attention to the other ladies, right?”

“No, mom, wait a minute, okay? “Am I jealous of the ladies?”

Titania, who was opening her mouth like a crucian carp, finally stuttered and asked her mother as if she were dumbfounded. He asked if it really looked like he was jealous of those ladies.

‘My, am I jealous? With the one where your mother kissed the backs of the ladies’ hands? ‘Why me?’

I really wanted to deny it, but…

Titania was able to understand why she was displeased when she asked her mother a question. No, my mother was right. It was only when I heard the name that I could clearly understand the intense emotions that seemed to be boiling inside.

The fact that this feeling is ‘jealousy’ towards the ladies.

Titania, who realized her feelings, instantly turned red like a ripe apple. The mask is red, the cape is red, and even the lips are red. Titania’s entire body turned bright red.

Amid such confused feelings, Titania suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Viola last night. The two of them lay in bed together and talked about love while reading romance novels.

‘Think carefully, Titania. Imagine if you loved someone. But that person smiles at people other than you and tries to become close to them. ‘What do you think?’

“Even if you say that, I still don’t get it…? “Wouldn’t they just do that?”

“It doesn’t have to be someone you love. Is there anyone you’re really close with? Or someone as close as me? What about pets? Imagine your pet wagging its tail at someone other than you. But that person is someone you really hate. how is it? “Can you feel it?”

At that time, Titania for some reason thought of ‘mother’ when asked by Viola.

A mother smiling brightly at others and sharing her love with others. When Titania remembered that scene, she remembered that she felt bad.

At that time, I thought I felt that way because I had no one to think of other than my mother. An unpleasant, stomach-churning feeling that immediately makes you cry. At the time, I was unaware of the discomfort that was welling up inside me.

But, I felt like I knew now.

Titania now clearly knew the name of the emotion that she could not define at the time.

That this is an emotion called ‘jealousy’.

However, this was not yet known.

Is this jealousy because we love each other as a ‘family’?

or not-