episode_0080

Shir’s screaming had stopped, but he was still crying.

“Mom… My heart hurts…”

“It’ll be okay…”

Heilang’s expression as he dried Shir’s fur with a towel was full of fear. Although there is a flint, it seems to have failed to start a fire due to the water flowing from the hand. My hands were already wet and so was the tinder.

“There may be a smell, but please bear with it.”

Heilang glanced at me. ···This was said to be volatile.

I spread the mosquito repellent I received from Julia evenly on the firewood, lit it with a candle, and the firewood burned in an instant────!

“Oh, it’s hot!”

It was attached to my hand!

When I wave my hand to turn it off, it starts to burn violently.

“I am so…”

Jules burst out laughing and held my hand tightly to turn off the light.

Cheek!

Water flows out of Jules’ hands, cooling his hot hands.······What a shame!

“Sihyeon. I would like you to tell me about Shir’s condition.”

At the priest’s words, Heilang looks in my direction.

There is a person who can see through a lie, that person’s father, and there is also Shir, who is involved in Juul.

I have no confidence in lying here.

I honestly told Heilang and the priest everything I knew.

According to Julia’s hypothesis, the wound on his chest was probably caused by me, so it could not be treated and he is complaining of chest pain. When I revealed this, all three people seemed to understand and move on.

It made no sense, but it made no sense in the first place because Shir came back to life.

“Shir. Does your heart still hurt a lot?”

Shir shakes his head.

“···It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“It doesn’t hurt?”

Shir looks at me with bulging eyes.

“···At first, my heart ached, but more than that, I was so sad that I cried.”

It’s sad. I’ve been like that too.

Let’s think scientifically. Does the blood contain hormones that make people sad? I didn’t know it because I was taking it, but Sur poured blood into my heart like a drug injection.

In general, it is natural that intravenous injection is more effective than oral ingestion. Could it be that the liquid flows from the heart to the brain? I remember the white chrysanthemum petals flowing out of my grasp.

──────What was that?

The petals were clean, without a single drop of blood on them.

Chrysanthemums are beautiful, but they are used at funerals. Of course, it’s like that on Earth, but it feels strange for no reason.

“It’s okay now…”

Shir jumps to his feet.

Heilang pressed it and made Shir lie down.

“Rest a little more.”

Shir shakes his head.

“No. I feel like I can do anything now. I feel like I can lift ten rocks like my aunt!”

······I was like that too.

That feeling is really vague. Should I say it feels like I’m laughing while crying…?

“When you drink the Holy Blood, you feel a strange surge of vitality. It doesn’t actually make you stronger, but it’s just perfect for overdoing things and getting upset.”

“Shir, I know you’ll get hit if you come out.”

My words became a wedge.

When Heilang glared at him fiercely, Shir turned his head away as if he had no choice. Why is a kid who just almost died so calm? Perhaps thinking that the situation had progressed to some extent, Jules stood up first.

“Sihyeon. You are resting here. After Shir, you are the one who got hurt the most.”

Jules stands up suddenly.

Only then did people’s eyes turn to my hands.

The skin was torn, but not that bad.

“It’s okay. It’s not that bad.”

I was about to get up, but Jules, like Shir, pushed me down and laid me down.

“This is why kids shouldn’t dig drainage ditches. Father, I’ll go out first.”

“Let’s go together.”

Juul left the tent first, followed by the priest.

“I will command the people upstream───.”

“Father, go downstream.”

─I am still correcting it.

─Don’t you know who made the correction? But let me correct it further…

The voice continues to fade away.

Nemstov and Hoz called Jul the White King, and Jul himself said that he spent his childhood with a root snake. This means that the priest may not be Juul’s biological father.

In the first place, white hair like that is only suitable for snowy fields, as the name suggests.

My father said that the Hosots, nicknamed the Snowy Barbarians, have white hair like that.

“······Thank you for saving my daughter. And I’m sorry. I’ll bring out the medicine, so just wait a moment.”

“No. It doesn’t hurt that much. I can just use this.”

When he showed his blood, Heilang, who had stiffened, eventually shook himself off and stood up.

“···Yes. I should go out too. You should rest here until the rainy season ends.”

“I will follow you soon. I wasn’t that tired…”

Heilang looks down at me with Jool-like eyes.

“I want you to stay with my daughter.”

······Let’s think positively.

If I leave, Heilang will remain in the tent and as a result, drainage work will be delayed. Because Heilang is probably more capable than me. In the first place, going out immediately to build a drainage ditch when his child is injured can be considered heartless to Shir.

But Heilang is the chief who represents the village.

I guess it can’t be helped. In that case, it is right for me, as someone involved to some extent, to stay.

“Yes.”

“Thank you. Take a good rest.”

Heilang leaves the tent.

So I was left alone with Shir in the tent. Shir… is staring at me with shining amber eyes.

“Sihyeon.”

“Yes.”

As the sound of Heilang’s footsteps disappears, Shir, who notices for a moment, sits up and looks at me.

“What did you do to me?”

What did I do? I ran forward like in the movies… No, I did something you couldn’t even do in the movies and saved someone’s life.

“He was dying, so I rescued him and saved him.”

It’s something I’ll talk about for the rest of my life.

I need to get down to the bone and use it as a saga until I die. Shir—── Shir shakes his head.

“Who is Shir?”

what?

“What, is there still any pain?”

He’s a weird kid.

So it must have been swept away by the water. What’s going on outside?

Since the terrain here is high, water does not leak, so the ground is dry and the outside is clearly visible.

Juul places a rock the size of his body around the river and plugs the surrounding hole with stones and pebbles. ······Why doesn’t he answer?

“Shir?”

I need to help you quickly, but can I stay here like this?

Outside, people were busy running here and there. Why on earth is it raining so much?

“What’s wrong? Do you have amnesia?”

What I did wasn’t bad.

That’s right, you saved someone’s life, right? What I did was definitely the right thing. So─── Shir hugged my back.

“Sihyeon. You don’t know my name.”

──────What?

“···Amor?”

Shir frowns.

With an expression so pure that it is abominable.

“What’s wrong?”

“···Who are you?”

“Your friend, Amor.”

Parr──!

My whole body was shaking violently.

“What did you do to Shir?!!”

Even if I tried to push Amor away who was hugging me, the difference in strength was too great to push me away. I’m just laughing because my struggle feels like it’s just a joke.

Amor’s eyes turn to my arm.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

Was it written? To Shir, like a ghost?!

······On such a topic, have you been pretending to be a saint in front of me in such an abominable way?! So then, everything you’ve shown so far has been acting?!

“Let go! Let go─!”

“Stay still. I will treat you.”

Shir bit his finger, and blood began to flow. The wound─── Shir’s wound healed just like Amor’s hand.

As Shir held me and applied blood to my arms, the wounds began to heal and the skin began to fill. ···Amor. What’s in there is Amor!

“My mom is very strong. You need to know how to manage your strength. Is it always like this?”

···uh?

“Shir?”

Someone I don’t know what is shaking their head and smiling like a shur.

“Amor.”

“Shir──!”

“Ha.”

Amor sighs.

“Okay. Let’s say it’s okay.”

···what’s this?! What is this?!

I must have killed Amor with my own hands…?!

First, I composed myself.

“···Why is Amor here?”

Amor sniffs and smells me.

“Sihyeon. Why are you suddenly using polite language? You called me Shir before, but why are you calling me Amor this time?”

I can’t figure it out.

Was it a joke? It was a joke…?

“Shir, don’t play around.”

As he hugged me from behind, I couldn’t see his expression.

What on earth does Shir have on his face?

“It’s a joke or something, and I’m doing this because I don’t understand.”

Shir hugs my chest tightly, rests his chin on my head, and warms himself by the campfire.

“My name was Amor, right? But suddenly my grandfather called me Shir. My aunt and Si-hyeon both call me Shir. And what is the ability to recover from this wound? me. I think I can transform into other animals.”

······It’s not Amor?

But it’s not just the name that’s mistaken. Amor told me.

‘No matter how much I smash my head into a pulp, the way to use my blood, my name, and how to polymorph will never leave my head.’

Called.

What on earth is this? What on earth is going on?

I need to find out.

“How old are you?”

“Fourteen years old. He’s the same age as you.”

Amor is 512 years old.

That means it could be Shir right now. No, it’s easy.

You must be able to see the situation clearly, both from afar and up close. Let’s summarize.

Amphityre said that Amor never dies, and that I do not know the weight of the name Amor. Julias had said that Amor was hanged 800 years ago.

I stabbed Amor in the heart with a knife, and he crumbled to dust before my eyes. The smell of the clear water that flowed from Amor’s heart resembled…

The sweet smell of the honey mushroom forest, said to have been blessed by the Earth Mother Goddess.

Flower in the heart! The Mother Goddess’ blessing has settled in Shir’s body!

Most of the adari fit, but there is one thing that does not fit.

Amphitier says.

‘You don’t know the weight of the name Amor.’

Why does the name Amor need weight? I guess this is just a blessing?

“What is so scary and complicated?”

“Scared?”

“You’re scared.”

Shir’s words shatter my thoughts.

“I feel like your feelings are reaching me.”

This is what Amor told me when I first met him.

I can feel my heart. Is it Shir? Or is it Amor?

“Ah, Amor? Shirya?”

“···I don’t know why they’re doing that.”

Amor – Shir hugs me, lowers his chin from my head to his shoulder, and looks at my face from the corner of his eye.

“I am Amor, the daughter of Heilang. Your friend Amor, your aunt’s slave.”

······It’s definitely easy.

I felt such blind, unfounded confidence. Shir simply forgot his own name. A puzzle in my head moves.

Julia also called the saint Amor 800 years ago. So, this means that the Amor I killed was actually one of the people whose name I forgot.

Is the name Amor handed down to those who received the blessing of the Mother Goddess? What on earth does the name Amor mean?

Fuck! Anyway, it’s the worst!

Never… never let anyone know that Shir is Amor! Amphitier had warned that Immortals were spreading their grip on the South.

If Shir is kidnapped by Immortal, he might end up trapped in the basement for the rest of his life, producing nothing but blood!

······This is not about saving Shir.

They forcibly brought him to this world and condemned him to hell.

“···Shir. You should never, ever ask yourself to be fooled.”

“Why?”

······Need to explain.

I don’t know what happened, but I am certain that Amor’s abilities were transferred to Shir. I brought up Amor’s story to Shir. Both Amphitier’s story and Julia’s story.

Although it was a serious story, Shir occasionally added a hint of admiration and expressed his admiration.

“It looks like that person named Amor felt your heart just like me.”

······As expected, my words seem to have been overlooked, and the focus is placed in a strange place. However, I feel reassured because I have the feeling that it is Shir and not Amor.

“You should never ask yourself to hate yourself. Understand? You have to hide your abilities and use them as invisibly as possible. Never use it openly.”

“Okay.”

When Shir agreed, a sigh of relief escaped.

I feel like I have somehow overcome the crisis. If this fact had been revealed in Heilang’s presence, he might have died.

“Okay. By the way, Sihyeon.”

Shir still hugged my back and rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Why?”

“Can you feel my heart too?”

Shir looks intently into my eyes.

···This bitch?

“Don’t be a dick.”

“What is chicken meat?”

“A creepy sound.”

Shir opens his eyes round and falls out, trembling.

They fell together and Shir’s body became entangled.

···My legs are heavy!

“It’s heavy! I wish it wouldn’t stick…”

“I hate it~!”

On a day of rest, it hung down like a dog, lightly brushing its head with its fangs set.

“Ugh-?!! Think about the weight difference! Kinda—!”

Nothing has changed.

That calmed my mind, but at the same time, I started to feel endless guilt. Because I was the one who ultimately threw Shir into the confines of hell.

Death is not the end, and because it is not the end, eternal life is a curse.

When the time comes, I will have to send Shir personally. But… that’s not the case now.

“I don’t know.”

“Huh? What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know. Do whatever you want.”

“Really?”

I feel anxious for no reason because of the question full of dark thoughts.

“No.”

I laid down with my back on Shir’s arm.

As soon as I stop resisting, Shir snaps at me like a snake. Although he is said to be 14 years old, his height is similar to that of a 17-18 year old child.

In addition, since they are naturally large, the difference in weight is also significant. In other words, you cannot win in a physical fight.

“I’m bored.”

Shir must have been itching and began to tighten his grip on me as if wrestling.

“It hurts.”

It’s not strange.

Hosotts of this age often cling to their friends and parents like bear cubs. Still, I hope you don’t do that to me.

“······The chest pain has all subsided, right?”

Shir nods his head.

This is unusual. Even though the wounds were inflicted by me, there were no wounds.

There was a lack of clues in the first place, and Julias also set a prerequisite for guessing based on insufficient clues. There is no need to accept that as orthodoxy.

“Shall I follow Seolrang and tell you what I experienced?”

“Yes. Let me know.”

“Let go…!!!”

As I was trying to sneak out, it suddenly tightened.

···Like a bear?!

“Surrender! Surrender—!”

“Surrender?! Sihyeon Lee! Don’t be pathetic and die with honor!”

This crazy bitch────?!

No matter how much I asked, Shir just smiled and ignored everyone. In the end, I was caught by Shir and had to tell the whole story of what I had experienced.

Shir chattered with admiration, but sometimes he kept his mouth shut, held his breath when he heard the story of me fighting, and exhaled admiration when he heard the story of me reviving someone.

However, when he heard the identity of the watchmen and the reason for their attack, he began to frown. When Shir heard of the watchman’s fate, he became even more angry.

Everyone likes refreshing things. In the end, the story that everyone was both a victim and a perpetrator is difficult for a child to understand.

That’s a story I don’t like either.

However, this is the entire story and reality of most events that occur in the world. I think about this sometimes. Could it be that there are no perpetrators in the world and everyone is a victim?

“It’s not fun.”

“···Right?”

It’s annoying.

That’s why I don’t want to know the world. Even if I try to find out about the world, it only makes me irritated. Shir’s arms became loose.

Ultimately, this happens because words do not communicate.

If they could just communicate, at least they wouldn’t have grown apart from each other by putting up a wall like this. I want to crush that annoying and frustrating wall.

“I’m going to sleep.”

“Okay. Let’s sleep.”

tired.

Shir stretches out his arms and pulls a blanket to cover himself. Now, when Shir starts sleeping, go outside and dig into the drain.

Chin!

······Shir grabbed my hand.

“Don’t go, stay next to me.”

“······.”

Shir’s hand holding my hand was trembling slightly.

“I’m still scared. I, I was swept away, and no one found me.”

No, I was watching.

“When I tried to stand on my feet in the water, I hit something. It hurt so much, I cried in the water. But the water was so thick that I couldn’t breathe… I was coughing in the water, and I really thought I was going to die.”

The more precious your life is, the more you know its value and the more you fear death. It meant that unlike me, who had once thrown away his life, his life was precious to Shir.

“I was screaming, coughing, and choking in the dark water, but someone held my hand. I don’t remember anything after that, but…”

Amber eyes stare at my face.

“How did you do that? I can’t even swim. Aren’t you scared?”

I turned around and hugged Shir.

“It’s scary. I also regretted going in.”

Shir hugs me tightly.

“Then why did you come to save me?”

Because I made you die. therefore······.

“To save you.”

“···Why did you try to save me?”

“Because you are my friend.”

“Then, why do you feel guilty about me?”

“───!”

Damn it! It shows on your face!

With a look on his face that seemed to have been confirmed, Shir burst out with a pure question.

“You’ve been feeling guilty towards me since a while ago. You saved me.”

······As Shir said, I am a sinner.

“I feel what you feel, I feel so anxious. Is something wrong?”

Because I put you through hell.

If I had behaved well, you wouldn’t have had to get hurt like this and you wouldn’t have had to have such a bad experience.

You, who have lived a miserable life because of me, and I, who gave you the gift of a miserable life, will have to put an end to it someday. Because monsters called Immortals will come after you.

Shir trembled and snuggled into my arms.

“······Don’t go.”

“I won’t go.”

Sorry.

I thought he was just being immature when he grabbed me like a joke and kept me from moving. But that’s not it, he felt my feelings from the beginning and was holding me back because he was afraid of me leaving.

Denial of reality: Dividing concentration by creating distance, or being playful.

This is a typical symptom of PTSD. What did I say when you asked me if you could feel my heart? Chicken flesh is growing? Are you giving me goosebumps?

With a light thought, I scratched my delicate heart.

Let’s never do this again. With that in mind, I hugged Shir.