episode_0080

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Everyone carries their own void within them.

Some seek out those they can look down upon to soothe trivial insecurities, Others chase after affection they never received from their parents, And some hide behind anonymity to satisfy their secret desires.

That’s how they fill their emptiness.

This feeling— Sometimes, they call it love.

80

Han Sua’s void is loneliness.

Not the kind torn open by bullying or anything so severe— Just a small, pitiful void that could be filled by making a few like-minded friends. Honestly, calling it a “void” is an exaggeration. It’s more like a scratch.

After all, what doesn’t she have besides that?

Money.

In modern society, there’s nothing money can’t buy. And if there is, it just means you don’t have enough.

That joke’s been around for years.

Luckily, she was born with the status of a princess, so she’ll never lack money.

I never really cared why she was so desperate to make friends, even practicing conversations for it. Probably just because she’s never had any before, so she’s trying now… or so I casually assumed.

Using the hobby I heard about from Yozora, I played the role of the most ideal friend I could, Stayed by her side until she felt comfortable around me, And erased any more convincing “real” friend candidates from Han Sua’s life.

That was enough.

Eventually, only Yozora and I would remain by her side. At least until graduation.

That was enough.

If anything happened, she’d hesitantly come to me, And even if not, the only person she’d turn to would be Yozora.

That was enough.

Afraid of losing the friend she barely managed to make, She’d compromise significantly in the relationship.

That was enough.

This much was sufficient as a foundation for Han Sua.

“Haa…”

I tried to use only the softest words, but I wonder if it worked. It was fine to give it a shot, but this kind of speech really doesn’t suit me. I want to drop the act soon.

A chilly winter night.

While lightly stretching near Ichon Hangang Park, I plopped down on a bench to catch my breath. I took out my earbuds, which kept complaining about low battery, put them in their case, and pulled my phone from my coat pocket.

Unfortunately, there were no notifications.

About two hours had passed since I left Sua’s place, where she’d passionately talked about manga (honestly, I didn’t understand a word beyond the money talk). You’d think she’d at least send a “Thanks for being my practice partner today” or something.

I was planning to use that to keep the conversation going and build rapport, but to get nothing at all…

Well, disappointing, but it’s not a total loss.

I now know where Han Sua lives, Memorized the first three digits of her front door passcode (not sure if it’ll be useful), And confirmed that her bed—where she usually just sleeps—is the perfect size for a wild night of sex.

All that’s left is to someday watch her usual cold expression twist in pleasure on that very bed.

I was worried about messing up from the start, but it seems I had nothing to fear. Now, I just need to fasten the remaining buttons properly.

Once we get closer, she’ll probably start sending personal Kakao messages. For now, I’ll assume she’s just awkward.

Exciting… Wait, no. “Exciting” sounds too girly.

After listening to Sua’s three-hour manga lecture, I must’ve picked up some of that genre’s speech patterns. I was planning to drill all kinds of wrong ideas into her, but I ended up getting influenced first.

I’m looking forward to it.

Yeah, that’s a better word.

I’m looking forward to the day Han Sua pants and wags her tail beneath me.

Since there weren’t many people around, I put my phone back in my pocket, slapped my cheeks a few times, and stood up from the bench.

Just as I was adjusting my neck warmer—

A familiar-looking woman sprinted past me, her shoes slapping against the urethane track.

Pretty fast for an amateur. Especially for a woman.

A chilly breeze followed her, And just as I thought, “She runs well,” it shifted to, “Damn, those hips.”

Then my gaze lingered on the pale blue hair swaying near her waist.

It reminded me of a woman who’d visited the infirmary a few days ago.

The student council president.

A spy from the other villain alliance.

Baek Seo-yeon. That airheaded woman’s hair was a perfect match.

“Hmm…”

Weird.

Even before the regression, I frequented this course, but I don’t recall ever running into her in 10 years.

Maybe I just didn’t notice because I crossed paths with so many people? Or was I always holed up in the smoking booth during breaks back then?

If not… maybe it’s a butterfly effect.

My thoughts rolled around briefly, But she didn’t seem to notice me, continuing her run until she disappeared beyond the streetlight.

Despite the cold, she wore thin, fluttering outerwear, and the Nike leggings hugging her hips down to her ankles were quite the sight. Too bad I didn’t get a better look.

Should’ve focused on her ass instead of her hair.

Tch.

“Hah… Shit… Ugh…”

Right after my lukewarm imagination about her, a man wheezing heavily ran past me.

Guess he’s not in great shape.

I get that he’s trying, but his ragged breathing was grating. If he’s gonna pant like that, I’d rather it be a woman’s voice…

I scratched my ear, stood up, and started jogging slowly along the course again.

The cool night air brushed past my earlobes.

…Something’s…

Something’s off…

I’m not sleepy at all…

What time is it?

Feels like I’ve been tossing and turning for at least 30 minutes…

Ugh…

I fumbled around for my charger, grabbed my phone, and checked the time.

1 AM.

Exactly one hour since I lay down at midnight.

Normally, I’d be dead asleep by now.

But why am I still wide awake tonight?

Wriggling under the covers, I peeked my head out from the blanket I’d pulled over myself.

I brushed the messy hair tickling my cheek aside and sat up against the headboard like I was reading a manga.

My eyelids fluttered lightly, as if it were noon instead of midnight.

“…Weird.”

I was exhausted from initiating conversations all day, Then spent the evening giving Seo Woo-jin a masterclass on romance manga (which drained me completely).

After sending him off, I busied myself with self-praise, thinking, “For a first-timer, I did pretty damn well,” replaying our three-hour nonstop conversation in my head.

Later, I realized Woo-jin had been steering the conversation to accommodate me the whole time, so I dove into bed and kicked the sheets in frustration.

So I should be tired right now…

What’s going on?

“Hmm…”

Might as well drink some water to refresh myself.

I turned on the light, shuffled to the kitchen in my pajamas, and gulped down some cold barley tea.

The housekeeper must be asleep.

Normally, she’d ask if I needed a midnight snack if she heard me rustling around the kitchen at this hour.

Then again, it is her bedtime.

While I was here, I stole a few pieces of pork from the kimchi stew, licked my fingers, and headed back to my room.

But sleep still wouldn’t come.

Even after brushing my teeth, Even after splashing water on my face (not sure what I was going for with that), Nothing changed.

I wasn’t sleepy at all.

Like my brain was drenched in endorphins. (No idea what that means either.)

Even though tomorrow’s Saturday, I’d rather not mess up my sleep schedule…

“……”

And just like that, 20 minutes wasted.

At this point, the only thing on my mind is what happened earlier tonight.

How I enthusiastically lectured Woo-jin about manga when he showed interest.

Probably got too excited, and now my brain’s still wired.

…Well, it was fun.

Case closed.

Having identified the culprit, I plugged in my earbuds and opened YouTube, planning to fall asleep to some refreshing rain ASMR.

“……Huh?”

Right below the video—

Before a suspiciously lewd manga ad caught my eye, that was the plan.

“What’s this…?”

To put it bluntly,

A woman was half-naked.

If that were all, it’d be fine, but the speech bubble contained dialogue with subtle sexual undertones.

Judging by the art style and natural Korean, it’s probably a Korean work.

What the hell?

Usually, the ads are fun, but why this all of a sudden?

Because it’s late? Or because I’ve been searching for lewd manga lately thanks to Yozora?

The terrifying AI algorithm?

No idea.

I turned off the screen and closed my eyes quietly.

“……”

But soon, Woo-jin came to mind.

Woo-jin, who deliberately kept the conversation focused on pure romance manga for my sake.

And then, Woo-jin, whom Yozora called “Master.”

…A pervert with those kinds of tastes.

Pervert Woo-jin.

Didn’t I learn today that the best way to talk to someone is to discuss their hobbies?

There’s a reason terms like “male-oriented” and “female-oriented” exist.

So maybe glancing at this could help me understand men better for future conversations…

“…Ugh…”

As if.

I let out a sigh-like breath and pulled the blanket up a little more.

“……”

Under furrowed brows,

I cracked my eyes open slightly.

“…Since I’m not tired anyway. Just… just a little. Yeah.”

I already have a rough idea of what sex is like.

Thanks to Yozora’s “special selection” of 21 romance-turned-smut manga, I’ve studied enough to know:

It’s more violent than I thought, The… fluid is way stickier and more abundant than expected, …Pushing all the way in feels so good it blanks your mind, Women often end up wetting the bed with something like pee, And right after, they always drool uncontrollably.

…Oh, right.

And at the very end, the woman licks it clean. Yeah.

But Yozora’s recommendations were probably female-oriented. Male-oriented stuff might be different.

So this is just about understanding what men like, What that pervert who helped me today likes, And broadening my knowledge spectrum.

It might help when talking to men later.

Absolutely, absolutely not because I want to see lewd stuff.

I have zero interest in that disgusting reproductive act.

Really, I swear.

My extremely convenient self-rationalization complete,

I strained my ears to check for sounds outside my room, then cautiously turned on my phone screen again.