episode_0079

Slice!

With a single stroke of the knife, I sliced through the chunk of meat in front of me. The cool sensation of the blade parting the flesh made my wrist tense.

“Put the knife in there and cut downwards firmly.”

“Like this?”

“That’s right. You’re good. Young man, have you cut meat before?”

“Haha…not really.”

At Grandmother’s compliment, I gave an awkward laugh and kept my hands moving.

Right now, Dong-woo and I were preparing food to eat with the others. The menu was ginseng chicken soup, one of Koreans’ luxurious meals and excellent for restoring vitality. Of course, Dong-woo and I would eat the meat, and the rest would eat the porridge.

The sudden immersion in cooking was, none other than, for health reasons. The group was slowly recovering from their body aches. But they still couldn’t properly control their bodies. They had regained consciousness, but their bodies felt drained, lacking any strength.

“Ugh…. I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to move….”

For Jihyeok hyung, who had strong willpower, to groan like that, it said it all. Byeongsu-ssi and Young-cheol-ssi, who had suffered severe bruises all over their bodies from beatings. The two men literally wailed and couldn’t get out of bed. Shia and Bomi-ssi were much better, but still grunting slightly. Grandfather was sweating profusely but remained silently lying down. As for CEO Choi, should I say he groaned gracefully?

It would be fortunate if it ended here, but their outward appearance was terrible. Their cheeks were slightly sunken, and their skin had lost its luster. Everyone said they were fine, but… Seeing their trembling bodies, it was impossible not to know how physically exhausted they were.

So, to help them recover even a little, I prepared a meal. Grandmother, seeing me clumsily making a mess in the kitchen, quietly joined in. When told she should lie down, she waved her hand dismissively instead. “An old person like me gets sicker if they just lie still.”

She insisted on doing the kitchen work, which made me sweat nervously. In the end, we compromised a moment ago that she would only supervise from the side. Grandmother sat on a chair, staring intently. I felt as if her sharp, master artisan’s gaze would pierce through my back.

However, Grandmother didn’t say much, except when I was preparing the meat. She just seemed to be leisurely watching. Actually, there wasn’t much to cooking. Among the ingredients I’d swept up at the mart, there was chicken and a ‘samgyetang ingredient kit,’ so all I had to do was put everything in and boil it. Put a large pot on the fire and simmer it thoroughly, and it’s done.

I dusted off my hands and turned around, and Grandmother was looking at me with a warm expression. “You brought all these ingredients, didn’t you, young man?”

“…Yes. While I was out.”

Except for the first few times, the others had said nothing about the food I had procured so far. They simply cherished it, thanked me, and ate it deliciously.

“Thank you, Seonghan.”

“Huh? You’re saying too much.”

I chuckled lightly at her unexpected words. “They don’t say it, but everyone is grateful.”

Scratch scratch—

Her words made me feel awkward, so I tried to act indifferent. “When I was young, food was very scarce.”

Watching the pot clatter and boil, Grandmother quietly told her story. “It was commonplace for babies to starve to death because their mothers couldn’t eat and didn’t have milk. It was an era where it was hard to even give a baby gruel because you couldn’t borrow a handful of rice. People back then were truly…. It was a frightening, selfish, and harsh time.”

Grandmother’s experience was from decades ago, but it was also an experience I had. I had experienced daily life where fistfights erupted over a single rotten potato. I sympathized with Grandmother’s memories, spoken in a low, somber voice.

“I thought those hungry times were over, but even worse times have found us. What a bolt from the blue this is in my old age, truly….”

“…Grandmother.”

“That’s why I’m truly grateful and sorry to Seonghan.”

I silently listened to Grandmother’s story and words of gratitude. Grandmother, who had lived through an era of suffering caused by hunger, seemed to understand the gravity of food in the current situation.

“I have nothing to give but these small dishes made by my old body, so I feel ashamed.”

“Oh my, you’re saying too much. Grandmother’s cooking is something to be truly grateful for.”

I smiled broadly, dismissing the awkward atmosphere. Grandmother just offered a slight smile in return, saying nothing else. After a bit of small talk, she seemed to grow tired and went into her room. Dong-woo followed her to look after Grandmother and Grandfather.

Left alone, I turned down the burner’s flame and went outside. I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. The acrid cigarette smoke deeply permeated my lungs. The scent of tobacco calmed my mood.

I mindlessly raised my head, and the sky was full of dark clouds. The dark clouds were capriciously sprinkling rain. It would seem to stop, then start raining again, repeating continuously. The wind and raindrops against my skin were quite cold. Beneath the trees swaying in the wind, fallen leaves lay thickly.

‘…It’s a good thing there aren’t any ginkgo trees.’

Fully bloomed yellow ginkgo leaves are beautiful, but once the season changes, they’re nothing but a nuisance. If you accidentally step on a fallen ginkgo nut, you’ll suffer from its pungent smell. A while ago, when I was scouting and walking around the streets, the ground was heavily soiled with leaves. With no one to clear them, the fallen leaves scattered like trash made the lifeless streets even more desolate. In some ways, they seem similar to zombies. Filling the streets and causing annoyance with their terrible smell. The difference, I suppose, is that ginkgoes don’t harm humans.

As winter approaches, trees lose all their leaves and prepare for the cold. The leaves, unable to withstand the cold, fall to the ground and rot.

‘Could it be that all of humanity will just die off…?’

Perhaps because of my body growing cold in the chill, negative thoughts filled my mind. As I gazed at the desolate fallen leaves, feeling my cigarette burn down.

‘…Why the hell did these bastards suddenly appear?’

A sudden question. At least leaves fall from trees, but zombies just popped out of nowhere. There’s no effect without a cause. There must have been some trigger.

I took a deep drag from my cigarette and exhaled slowly. ‘If only I could know what the cause was.’

To hole up in a suitable place and endure. This was my original plan, but now I’m thinking a bit differently. What if it could be solved by smashing them? I felt willing to step up.

The reason was nothing special. My mind changed because of the actions of the Capital Defense Command. The reason electricity and the internet hadn’t been cut off yet. Propaganda that the military had protected several key facilities was slowly spreading through the internet. At first glance, it might seem like they did their job, but…

“…They should have protected the people first.”

These assholes got their priorities wrong. I don’t know complex or difficult things well, but I know simple ones. The military as an organization exists for combat and mission execution. For that, they are given the authority to arm themselves with weapons. And the direction these guns and swords are pointed is toward enemies threatening the nation and its people. Protecting property is a lower priority. Facility defense was prioritized over saving their own citizens from an unknown enemy. They protected property over lives. That was the behavior of a private organization, not a state one. That actually happened, and as a result, we are using electricity. I couldn’t be happy about the infrastructure still being partially intact. The politicians who wielded power in the nation’s core ran away. The military, responsible for the nation’s defense, lost its essence. Even if war and national governance are games of numbers, they crossed the line. That’s why I feel there’s no possibility that those high and mighty people will resolve the current situation.

‘If it were me….’

If it were me, I would have blockaded the Gangnam area and, as part of that, destroyed the bridges. It’s hypothetical and based on rumors, but combining everything, the origin can be presumed to be Gangnam. Although, considering Lee Deokgyu’s words, an outbreak in Gangwon Province could also be suspected.

Anyway.

From the start, if they had accepted a certain degree of bleeding, there was a possibility they could have succeeded in initial defense. Bleeding means money, property. They would have put a price on every major bridge and building, calculating property loss. And it’s clear that would have become an obstacle to armed suppression. No need to look far. Even in normal reality, it was commonplace to see people glare and get veins popping in their necks over petty cash and minor disputes. The behavior of shifting blame and stubbornly clinging on was common. Given that they succeeded in facility defense, the military doesn’t seem entirely powerless. In the end, these bastards and those bastards are all the same. The end of a large organization that has lost its foundation and essence is predetermined.

‘Either everyone dies together, or they splinter apart.’

Currently, the latter is highly probable, and factions likely have divided. The reason for thinking this deeply might seem a bit forced, but there is a basis. There’s no need to look far. Social structures as densely intertwined by academic ties, regional ties, blood ties, and money as in our country are rare. If there were signs and a trigger, it would have happened at any time.

…The military is no exception.

It’s an organization with high maintenance costs, to the point of being called a money-eating hippopotamus. It should be an impartial and righteous group, but it can’t help but be sensitive to gains and losses for its own existence. It’s impossible for them not to be entangled with vested interests.

‘Damn it…there’s nothing I can trust.’

It’s a life lived alone anyway, but this reality is just too much. As one thought led to another, I recalled the moment just before meeting Sergeant Kang’s group. The broadcasting station building I saw from the top of a passing building. The movement of the military, with traces of heading in that direction. I had only realized it now because I lacked information and was late in judging. The events were already unfolding. If I told someone, I’d be cursed at to stop writing fiction, but since I’ve already experienced it, my tarnished past memories are just regrettable.

“Should I step up a little…?”

I was someone who lived like a docile loser unless provoked. I just wanted to earn a lot of money and live well, like a normal twenty-something. The life I desired was absolutely not some destroyed dystopia like this.

『With great power comes great responsibility.』

That famous last testament of Uncle Ben. I don’t want to move because of some burning sense of justice or responsibility like that either.

‘With great power comes even greater bother.’

That’s my pure, unadulterated experience. Despite that precious experience, I decided to step up just a little. If it can be solved with force, then just a little. What if it’s beyond my capabilities? Then I’ll just live peacefully and quietly in the shelter. Fill the storeroom with food, and the rooms with beautiful women. I’ll clear my head, strengthen my body, and live without worries. Before aspiring to such a decadent life, just a little more.

‘Let’s try to step up just a little. It won’t be too late to disappear afterward.’

When I had made up my mind, there were several burnt cigarette butts at my feet. I sighed and stood up, and what met my eyes was a clear, sunny sky. Looking up, the dark clouds were rapidly fleeing across the sky. Instead of the retreating dark clouds, pure white, cotton-like clouds approached, and the clear blue sky began to show. Like a lie, sunlight poured down onto the shaded ground. The place illuminated by the sun was the path leading out of the shelter.

“…What is this, are you mocking me or something….”

I could only laugh at the familiar and absurd sight.

「Han-nim. You can do it. I believe in you? Hehe~」

“…Damn it….”

The forgotten girl’s voice echoed in my head. I violently shook my head to get rid of the unending echo. Only after struggling for a long time could I finally calm down. With eyes that somehow felt cold, I looked at the path once more.

“Oh, right!”

Remembering the dish on the fire, I rushed inside. I worried if it hadn’t burned completely. Whatever it is, food first for now. They say even Geumgangsan is best after a meal. [A proverb meaning ‘it’s hard to appreciate beauty on an empty stomach’.]

First, I’ll take care of the others. Heading to the kitchen, I organized my thoughts. Nothing complicated or difficult. Try it once, and if it doesn’t work, then stop. And I don’t get the order wrong. That’s enough.