episode_0079

I thought over and over again about what kind of life I would spend with my sister and what I should do with her.

As always, it is a story related to human relationships, and since it is meant to twist that, the answer can be said to be hidden in a place that is quite difficult to find.

Time passed by indifferently, and I had completed the physical examination and was about to enlist.

In the meantime, I definitely mixed up with my older sister several times, but rather than the intricacies of going to the military, what if my relationship with my older sister becomes distant due to that, and what if I end up building relationships with other people? This worry made me distraught.

I should be the only older sister.

My sister shouldn’t have any friends, let alone other men.

I can’t communicate comfortably, and I have to be able to see the world only through me.

You can give me permission to do anything, and whatever you do, just stay under my control.

I wanted to know where, when, and what my sister was doing.

However, as a human being, you can’t have something like CCTV installed in your eyes, so in the end, I just hoped that they would do as I told them.

So, while the second semester passed by in vain, I thought a lot.

What on earth should I do for my sister to stay by my side?

I wanted you to do as I said, and I wanted you to do everything I told you to do.

To do that, I thought about what I needed to do.

But in the end, my long absence caught up with me.

I couldn’t tie my sister down to the end.

“… … .”

I felt like I was going to sigh, but I held it back.

This was because I now knew very well that continuing to whine in front of my sister was not a good idea.

Because I wanted to be someone I wanted to rely on rather than someone I had to rely on, I thought over and over again about how I could make my sister more mine.

“What do you want to do, sister?”

“… Well, since there’s nothing to do after you leave, I guess I’ll just prepare for the retake. I’m already tired of architecture school… ”

I heard that there are some people who come back to study after studying in the first place and wonder if this is what I came for, so I wonder if I am that type of person, but my sister was not that type of person.

Because of the twists in my previous interpersonal relationships, my current sister was suffering because there were too many things to worry about.

After I was discharged from the military, I was scared that it would all fall apart and I would return to my original life.

Then, I wonder if this relationship is over.

“Really? Let’s just rest some more and then go back to school with me.”

“… Is that so? No, I don’t think there’s any need to build it. Because there are many other courses.”

It seemed like my sister was already thinking about the future a little bit.

As always, the downside was that no matter how hard I tried, it ultimately didn’t work for someone with some degree of independence.

A sigh came out of my mouth.

However, I felt like it would just go away if I let go, so I had no choice but to come up with a solution after such a long time.

A house where neither mom nor dad comes often. That’s why my mom and dad didn’t really know what my sister and I were doing in the first place.

So, I guess there is no way to know whether my sister is living a good life or being reckless.

So in the end, there wasn’t much for me to do, and at the same time, I knew it would work quite effectively.

Even if I go to the military for a short period of time, unless my sister changes drastically from the beginning, I will be able to hold on to her for a while, so I should probably start taking action from the middle, to capture the times when she might become distant from me.

When I get a night out, I invite my older sister nearby, and when I go on vacation, I spend time with my older sister, and so on…

Will it be okay?

I might be throwing my sister’s life into the abyss.

It might be the same as ripping clothes off at a clothing store, right?

I asked myself.

are you okay.

The more your sister’s life becomes irreparably twisted, the more at ease you can feel.

If no one chooses your sister, so much the better if everyone has a label to keep them away from you.

I answered myself.

The snowless winter chilled my heart.

“… I think it would be okay for you to not have to go to college.”

“Why?”

“Just. I think my sister is not good at talking to other people.”

“… is it. No, I thought it would be okay if I was just going there to study… ”

It seemed like my sister was still dreaming of going out into the sun.

When I saw him waver for a moment but eventually try to find his own way, I realized that he was a really great person.

After all, he came in much easier than I did, and in the meantime, there were people at the top who were good at studying and were arguing over scholarships, so it would be fair to say that he was a great person.

I liked that older sister, but in the end, I liked the older sister I had in my hands better.

Rather than having an intelligent, knowledgeable, and generally sociable older sister fall into the hands of someone else, I preferred my older sister to be ignorant, lacking in principles, unable to become friends with anyone, and ultimately feeling left alone and left out.

That’s right, only then will my sister stay by my side and try to erase her loneliness.

Because they cannot even tell whether their choice is right or wrong, they will leave all judgment to me.

“No. If you’re going to do it, why don’t you go back to school when I’m discharged?”

I planned to keep it close to me as much as possible.

I couldn’t let him go because he would be completely distant from me if I went to another school.

Then my sister was worried.

It seemed like he was thinking of the kids he had some trouble with.

Of course, we rarely run into each other even if we are just one year apart, but I guess they are afraid of meeting once in a while.

If it’s a woman issue, kneel for 2 years? Then it’s okay. I was able to think that.

However, on the other hand, if a problem occurred with a man who did not go to the military, he would have to take two years off like me, and the same gap would exist next time, so it was clear that he would run into an extremely difficult situation.

“… … Umm.”

“Think about it for a moment. Honestly, I didn’t feel the need for my sister to go to another school. If you repeat the exam at the university you got the best at and go to a worse school, you won’t have anything to say to your mom and dad, and your relatives will look at you even more strangely.”

When I brought up the attention I would receive from my family, my sister closed her mouth and moaned.

In the end, my sister had to pay attention to the opinions of those around her in order to do something, so it was a natural reaction.

The reason I was thinking about going to college again in the first place was because of the stares I would face once I went to college.

“Isn’t it okay to just change the grade anyway?”

“… Maybe something like that.”

My sister nodded slightly, perhaps feeling a little cold.

I took advantage of those words and pushed my sister even further.

“Think carefully. Anyway, all the girls can go up to the 4th or 5th grade, and even those who didn’t go to the military will finish the 2nd grade and start the 3rd grade at most, but if you start from the 2nd grade again, you won’t have to face anything.”

My older sister seemed to be a little annoyed and tilted her head slightly as she continued to think.

I shrugged my shoulders and said to my sister.

“Sister, it’s better to do whatever you want. But when I think about those around me, I think what I said was the best. What does your sister think?”

“… That, that. Umm. You said when you were going.”

“I am in February. I will go in then and come out in August or September of the following year. What.”

My sister hesitated for a moment and nodded.

“… Ah Okay. I’ll think about it carefully.”

“Yes, okay. No matter what you say, choosing your older sister is the most important. You know what I mean?”

Although I say that the choice is up to my sister, the mood has already shifted toward listening to what I say.

It was a situation that had no choice in the first place, so there was nothing I could do.

My older sister is the type of person who cares a lot about what other people think, so she probably wanted to run away from that university.

However, when I moved to another university, I realized that it would be difficult to handle the attention and notice of those around me if I moved to another school with a good school and good department.

My sister couldn’t run away anywhere.

After worrying over and over again in an unavoidable situation, you will eventually face the fact that there is no other way than the way I told you, and realize that what I said is right.

Perhaps after much thought and deliberation, my sister will decide to go back to school with me.

The fact that my older sister was going back to school was not in my plans.

While I was in the military, I was planning on getting my older sister pregnant while I was there for a short period of time.

Then, it would be perfect if I were discharged when my stomach was full and I needed someone’s care.

My older sister may have suffered for a while because of the attention of those around her, but it was okay to just stay at home.

If someone asks whose kid it is, just say you got it from a stranger in college.

I push my sister’s life into a hole and create a situation where she can no longer look at me. That was the answer I had been thinking about and wondering if it would be okay.

“Okay, thank you.”

“No. My sister is having a hard time, so it’s only natural to tidy things up.”

I smiled while looking at my grateful sister.