episode_0078
by adminEven though I knew that my child was changing like that, there wasn’t much I could do. Even if I tried to recreate the emotions in my child, it was clear that he would throw them away.
It was frustrating that there was nothing I could do. But if I hadn’t, there would have been so much I could have done for the child.
If that were the case, there would be a lot I could have done for the child.
All I could do was hope that the countless emotions the child had left behind would move on.
The only thing I can look forward to is my daughter doing something. Other than that, there is nothing else I can look forward to.
“… Baby, tearing your emotions apart, yeah. That’s a bad thing.”
“Why?”
If the child doesn’t understand something, I can explain it to him, but that would be like me defining for him what the world is like.
Children are taught that it is right to suppress their emotions. However, they do not know what will happen if they do not suppress their emotions.
“… . Just, as you live, you will understand.”
“… … Huh?”
“If you kill your emotions and you can no longer exist as you are… . Everything you used to find enjoyable will lose its meaning.”
“… … ?”
Until I realized for myself what that meant, there was nothing I could do.
The trick left this space.
Now, there is nothing left, only water and the child, and it is just me and the child.
The emotions of a child seen through the mirror of a fake. Those memories made me look at the child again.
“Yeon-ah… .”
The child doesn’t answer when I call him. It can’t be helped.
I was the one who betrayed the child mercilessly. If I had given him the light, he would have gone wild. He hated it. For that reason alone, I didn’t reach him.
Without even knowing that I was in so much pain, without even knowing that I was writhing in pain.
‘Where is this? It’s dark.’
‘It’s hard, please, light-‘
‘Ahhhh!!’
As I watched my child grow up and suppress his impulses, the only thing I could do was to tell him that what he was feeling was right.
But the child ignored my words. They were unnecessary.
Because it’s trash talk that’s more useless than any other words.
“Ugh… . Ugh… !”
What is the great power of the gods? What is a god? What is… the protector of children… .
I had a mission to lead and protect this child with my abilities. But then what about that?
-Cardduck
My teeth were grinding out on their own. I became convinced that the child would never look back at me again. When the child wanted me, when the child thought he wanted to fight, there was nothing I could do but stop at that level.
Ah… isn’t it?
I am a spirit after all. A different power that has broken away from the power of the original.
If I tell this story to the original spirits, the original spirits will tell the other spirits. Then, this kind of thing will never happen again. Won’t it?
Other abilities had no ego and would gradually fade away as they died, so they would not know how to communicate such things, but not me.
“Yeah, that’s it. Then somehow… .”
It’s a clue that I’ve finally found. It’s a method and a power that I’ve finally found, somehow. If I can do this, if I can do that method, something like this kid won’t happen again.
Also, the original source that received the memories would continue to send the memories in fragments to the other spirits.
“Please. Please… … .”
Create a very small, faint light. Try to connect. Up there. Just me. By tearing off a part of me.
-Peee
There was a loud noise and I could see the child’s attention turning to me, but it didn’t matter.
I, I just want to keep this child, and the twins that will come next, safe.
Just barely, we reached the nuclear power plant.
“… . Hmm? That’s strange, isn’t it the strongest spirit? How did you connect it? ”
The voice of the nuclear power plant echoed in my head.
“Ugh… … .”
Yes, that would have been impossible originally. It would have to scatter to the ground and go through the process of returning to the gods before it could return as ‘power’.
“Hmm. Is that the child’s imagination? It’s more bleak than I thought.”
Dry words. I now realize that those words were like a child’s reaction to whether or not he should tear out his emotions.
Yes, that was the god of the original. I was just a separate being. Rather, I think that being this emotional right now might seem a little more novel to him.
“I would like you to look at my memories.”
“… Memories? Hmm. Well, to have memories of the summer, you had to hear it through the dead. Well, send it to me.”
The master called me from outside. It was clear that he had encountered someone inside, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he hadn’t yet completely torn apart the emotions that had come back to life.
… . I think someone said something like, ‘You’ll regret it someday,’ but that’s- no. No way. No way. I know that. It can’t be.
How often does that happen to me? I don’t have anything to spare. … Of course, yes, let’s admit it. I didn’t want to lose the fun of playing with the little rascal. But other than that, I didn’t have any other feelings.
There was no great sentiment coming to me other than the fact that I didn’t like it.
And conversely, that also meant that I had nothing to fear.
Because the only thing I was afraid of was what I said.
“… .”
But, if it disappears, what will I look at and live for? Will I become a real doll?
Such worries also popped into my head, but they were meaningless worries. I am already a doll. Isn’t it nonsense for a doll to hate being a doll?
“Okay, let’s go eat now.”
“Yes.”
I am led by the hand of the master who woke me up to go eat.
I felt worried glances flying towards me every now and then.
The reason, I couldn’t figure it out. It was just a thought that came to me because I knew better than anyone else that I wasn’t that great of a person.
Who would approach a filthy filth? To them, an illegitimate child is something like that.
… . Thinking about it, these gazes actually made sense. If someone has the ability and is not known for being a direct descendant, then they can only be an illegitimate child.
‘That kind of illegitimate child is caring for not only the direct line of the main character, but even the head of the family at the time. It’s strange.’
Whatever their reason for giving me the look, I concluded in my head that there couldn’t be a more reasonable reason than this.
“… .”
Did he care that I noticed those stares, or did he just want to end this time quickly? He gave the attendants a look and turned away.
Honestly, I didn’t really care either way. Except that I strangely missed those warm-looking arms.
What on earth did you see in your mind that made you think that way? I was clearly just killing my emotions.
This is not the kind of thinking an illegitimate child should have. It is not right for them to have this kind of thinking.
If it ever becomes known to my immediate family that I had these thoughts… . Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it.
As I continued walking along the road, shaking off the thoughts in my head, the place where I had eaten before appeared.
“Wow-you came!”
“Yes.”
Judging from the way they greet me so eagerly, they must have been waiting for me for quite some time.
When I thought about it, it was strange. What was so precious about me? I was curious. What kind of person am I to her, that young master of swindle is so concerned about me?
Madam and everyone else thought it was strange.
In contrast to the main writer’s house where work was done early in the morning when the sun rose, one place that had been lit day and night has been unusually quiet recently.
“Ugh… .”
The White Tiger Family.
The light of Baekho’s family, who had worked day and night with the sole purpose of finding their child, finally died down after Baekho collapsed from overwork after working through the night for several days.
That must mean he was desperate.
“Ugh… … .”
However, the strange thing was that Baek Han, who had never suffered from dreams before, was suffering.
“Ah-ah… .”
I don’t know what I was dreaming about, but something was definitely strange.
“Yeo-yeon-ah… . Lee Yeon-”
Why am I looking for my son who has disappeared and is nowhere to be seen? And on top of that, he is the strongest child and I don’t even need to worry about him.
“Eeee… .”
The dream he had was simple.
“Yeon-ah, no- Yeon-ah, don’t-don’t, don’t… . Please. Please… . Aaaah!!! Gasp, gasp… .”
He looked around, holding his head. It was too vivid to be just a dream. Baekhan’s hands trembled at the sight of it, which made him feel emotions.
“Hoo… .”
It must be because he’s anxious. It must be just that. He brushed it off and got up from his seat.
Until my son told me he had been through something similar.
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