episode_0078

“Thankfully, things were resolved more easily than I thought.”

I let out a sigh of relief and took a big bite of the skewer. After sweeping the inn and gathering information, I planned to move west immediately. This was because I had heard that Noah’s organization, Nest, was located there.

Just as I was about to leave, there was a rumble from Jess’s stomach. It dawned on me that it had been quite a while since we had eaten.

We couldn’t starve the kids any longer, so we had come into a skewer restaurant quite far from the inn and piled up skewers like a mountain, eating away.

“…I wonder if I can win without mixing in pussy with a sword even once.”

Recalling the massacre-like scene at the inn, I took another bite of the skewer.

“Eating so carelessly after killing so many people… I seem to be adapting well to this darker world than I thought!”

Having lived in a world where the concept of “death” was as light as a feather, I didn’t think much about it, but anyway, I seemed to be adapting well.

“Jess, don’t eat the wooden skewers. Add 50 more skewers here!”

“Yes, sir!”

Chyaak, chwarruk!

Because Jess had such a good appetite, the shop owner had to sweat and grill meat tirelessly. At that moment, Iris swallowed the remaining meat and said, “Oppa, who is this person Noah?”

“Oh, come to think of it, I haven’t told Iris about him, have I?”

I put down the skewer I was holding, took a sip of water, cleared my throat, and began to tell her about the past.

The time I met Noah and the children when I was held as an experimental subject, the time I was rescued by a dark magician named Mia by chance, and the time I was half-kidnapped by Jiso and met Iris.

I lied and said I only did cooking and odd jobs because I was worried she would be concerned if I mentioned being experimented on. It wasn’t that agonizing of an experiment, but Iris was a worrisome child, so I deliberately kept it brief.

“I’m going to meet that person.”

“Yeah, I want to help.”

“Then I’ll help too. Because it’s what you want.”

Iris, who closed her eyes into half-moons and smiled, looked so cute that I couldn’t help but pat her head, making her face light up beautifully.

“Hu-hing! Ao! Ao!” (Master! Me too! Me too!)

Jess ran towards me with a skewer in his mouth and pushed his head toward me. His ears, which were sticking out, were drooping as if urging me to pat his head quickly. As I raised my hand to pat his head…

Snap! Clang!

A sharp dagger flew towards me, but Iris deflected it with a swing of her sword. The deflected dagger split the nearby table in half.

“Tsk, he’s quite skilled, more than I expected.”

A man’s voice echoed from a dark corner of the building, where the dagger had come from. It was the same location. A man covered in a black robe laughed and spoke with a mixed tone of amusement.

“For now, retreat. But next time…”

The man who said this began to fade away as if melting into the shadows.

“Ugh… People of that dark and annoying type are really troublesome!”

People who wait for their opponents to relax, then suddenly appear, launch a clumsy attack, and disappear!

When I’m using the bathroom, struggling to put on clothes, or hopping around because my toe hurts… just thinking about someone appearing in such situations and annoyingly throwing swords makes me exhausted already.

“I can’t have such a dreadful experience!”

Even if I tried to summon my dark magic and attack right away, the man would disappear faster. How can I catch that man who has already vanished 70%?

Instinctively, I lifted the wooden skewer placed on the table and threw it with all my might towards the man, saying,

“Jess! Fetch!”

“Kyah!”

With his eyes wide open, Jess, who had been growling warily at the man, suddenly turned his eyes into big circles like a puppy and ran towards where the skewer had flown at an incredible speed.

“Ugh…!”

The speed was almost as fast as a truck driving on the highway. The reason for comparing it to a truck… is because the grim man flew away as if he had been hit by a truck.

Bang! Squeak! Thud!

The man who flew, crashing into the building wall, foamed at the mouth and lost consciousness with his eyes rolled back. He looked like he would die soon.

The owner of the skewer restaurant, who had been grilling skewers like a pile of mountains, grabbed his head and sat down on the floor.

“Oh… My traditional skewer restaurant that I’ve maintained for five generations… the legacy my mother left me… I was going to pay off all the debts and confess to her…”

Seeing the desolate skewer restaurant owner spewing clichéd remarks without hesitation, I felt like I had done something terribly wrong. Sweating cold, I approached him.

“Um…”

“Master, I’m sorry. I was indeed a useless guy! Ugh…”

As I tried to hand money from my pocket to the crying skewer restaurant owner…

Thud!

“Hey! Store owner, come out!”

Clearly, the store door, which had been wide open until we entered, had closed at some point, but now it seemed to have flown off due to the kick of a strange man.

“If you borrowed money, you should pay it back!”

“Oh, are you doing well, pussy? There are plenty of skewers piled up, aren’t there?”

I silently looked back and forth between the two gangster-like men and the person who seemed to be pinned to the wall, possibly an assassin.

‘No… Is no one paying attention to the fact that someone is pinned to the wall?’

This was clearly something that only happened in a comedic world. I realized this fact in an instant.

‘Ah, a power has been used! But why?’

It was clear that the power had been activated against the person threatening me. This meant that the gangster who was casually ignoring the collapsed man and the skewer restaurant owner spewing clichés was threatening me.

‘But to say that… hmm…’

The gangsters only threatened the owner of the small restaurant and didn’t even bother with me. I was confused in the situation, not knowing what was going on. One of the mumbling guys turned to me and shouted with his mouth wide open.

“Hey! Isn’t that guy the one we saw on the wanted poster earlier?!”

“What? Oh! You’re right, you’re right!”

Wanted poster?

The guys who had fallen for the gag filter kindly explained.

“They said he’s the crazy guy who messed up Deviatan’s operation and ran away… Heh, even though there was a warrant out for him, he was having a meal in Deviatan’s territory… He’s really something, isn’t he?”

“That guy’s bounty was clearly 10 gold coins, right?”

“Haha.. We’ve hit the jackpot! And if we sell off the girl next to him, our pockets will get pretty fat, won’t they?”

After hearing their story, I realized why this situation had occurred.

‘When Deviatan’s guys threatened me… it triggered authority throughout this area!’

My pupils began to shake like crazy.

‘Could it be that everyone here has become immortal?’

As I thought about this, the gangsters menacingly approached me, ready to swing their fists.

“Crunch!”

“Back off.”

Jess revealed her fangs and tore into the neck of the man who rushed at her, while Iris spat curses and slashed another man’s throat.

Crack, thud!

“Oh.. they’re not immortal.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked at the neatly dead bodies of the two men. I had almost made Deviatan’s guys invincible.

“Oh, wait a minute.”

I felt my brain buffering at the sudden realization.

‘That means… acting like residents of the gag world but having finite lives, right?’

At that moment, I could sense the downfall of Deviatan.

“…Guys, let’s head to the western zone as quickly as possible. This place seems too dangerous.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright! Juin-nim!”

Jess hugged my waist and nodded. Iris, with her ears perked up, looked at me with bright eyes, and when I petted her head, her tail wagged wildly.

“Let’s go, Iris.”

“…Okay.”

Reaching out to Iris, who was staring fixedly at Jess, she smiled widely like a blooming flower and took my hand.

Jess tried not to let go of my body, but gently persuaded me to let go for quick movement, and reluctantly let go with a sullen face.

Putting down the skewer fee and the broken furniture fee on the table, we left the skewer house.

***

“Ouch! Oh, darn it! Get lost!”

“You should get lost! Oof!? You’re, you’re falling!”

The buttocks of the two sturdy men, shaped like bowling pins, stuck together like glue.

The two awkwardly struggled and eventually fell over. They remained fallen and began rolling down the steep road.

“Wow!”

“Cough..! H-help me!”

With a rumbling ominous sound, they started rolling and smashing all the items in boxes from another store.

“Oh no! Our store’s items!”

“Wh-who the heck are you!”

The shop owners belatedly came out and cursed, trying to find the culprit, but the culprit had already rolled far away and couldn’t be found.

“Eek… Hofin! It’s you!”

“Ha? It’s not me, it’s you!”

Normally, they would have had rational conversations, but with their eyes turning, they began cursing each other and soon started fighting, throwing items that fell to the ground.

If this were a comedy world, it would have been funny, but this was a dark fantasy world, so blood began to flow in an instant.

“Hey, miss, how about having a drink with me?”

“No, thanks.”

A woman working in Hongdeungga snickered and hit the man’s face with her bag. As a result, the man’s neck turned and he fell over.

“Wow…”

Lian looked around and said,

“What a mess.”