episode_0076

“Ugh… Quitting the job.”

“…But there are only a few days left… Can you wait a little longer?”

“Ugh…”

A weary body with a scruffy beard, movements strained by exhaustion.

Each moment that passes before my eyes fills me with sadness.

How many times have we said it will be over soon?

Even lying in bed, I find myself whining again.

I feel melancholic seeing him suffer because of me.

If only… we could live happily together without being this busy.

Despite his fatigue, my brother kept comforting me, apologizing repeatedly.

My heart ached even more.

“…Stop. Please stop. You’re tired, so go to sleep.”

I stopped forcing it.

I felt immature.

“Oh. Are you tired? Yeah. Sorry. Goodnight.”

Misinterpreting my intentions, my brother gently laid me down and covered me with a blanket.

It’s not like that. But the words choked up in my throat and went back down.

I began to wonder why my brother had to struggle so much for me.

I thought I had matured early.

I hadn’t.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry….”

Tears quietly streamed down.

Afraid the blanket would get wet, I pulled my sleeve over my face.

I carefully leaned against my sleeping brother’s back.

I felt pathetic for being unable to do anything.

He was already asleep from exhaustion and didn’t hear.

I barely managed to stifle my crying by covering my mouth.

When he worked, I worked too.

I worked as much as possible because I didn’t like the emptiness of the house when he didn’t come back by evening, fearing I wasn’t following our agreed-upon goals.

Now, I found myself running along an endless road without knowing what purpose or future I was looking for.

What’s the point if now isn’t happy?

Regret came late.

But regret only comes for things that have passed.

It couldn’t be undone.

***

A month’s time.

Time flew by quickly, passing through the cold spring, the warm spring, and into the early spring before dawn, rather than calling it the rising sun and increasing temperature of summer.

“…Is today the last day?”

“Yeah. Really the last day.”

As the warm sunlight filled the room, I hugged my brother without saying a word.

The pillar supporting me seemed slightly worn out and rusty.

It felt like a miracle that it hadn’t collapsed.

I had even wished it would collapse.

Then I could call the office and let my brother rest.

“I… I’ll come back early today. I’ll make a lot of food. Only your favorites. Since you’re off tomorrow… you have to eat, okay?”

“Yeah… I’ll eat as soon as I get back.”

It was just a short break, but that brief moment of rest was essential for my brother.

“…Let’s go together.”

“Huh…? You can just stay here.”

Truly the end.

I put on my coat.

“Let’s go.”

The hand pushing me away gradually weakened, eventually leading us to go together.

“Now we must eat together…?”

“Even if you say that after coming all the way here….”

The weather wasn’t cold, rather cool like autumn.

My cardigan was thin for a coat, but my mind was clear.

The echoing footsteps in the hallway overlapped as we stepped into the elevator.

Quietly, I held my brother’s finger.

“…I don’t want to see you struggle like this ever again.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry” is truly forbidden. Don’t say it. Why apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong?

There is someone who should be sorry.

That’s me.

It’s me. I was falsely accused. It could have been avoided.

“Oppa.”

I grabbed the hand of Oppa, who was about to get into the car in the underground parking lot.

“What…?”

“……”

“Ji-hye…?”

“Stay strong. Thank you.”

“Uh… thank you.”

Perplexed, Oppa gently held my hand and got into the car.

“Sigh….”

This wasn’t what I wanted to say.

The car, moving away, soon disappeared. The feeling of being left alone in this cold place only made me feel empty.

*

“Um… Is there something going on lately?”

“…Nothing. Shall we start?”

“Um… You don’t seem as cheerful as before. Your pictures look gloomy.”

“…”

I’ve heard this before.

I’ve heard it before.

They said I looked gloomy, looked cold. That’s what they said.

But what can I do about it?

“Sigh… How about taking a short break?”

“A break…?”

“Yes. You’ve been running all this time. How about stopping for a moment, having some water, and taking a rest?”

Rest.

To me, it felt like an unreachable word. If I rest, Oppa might even carry me away.

Then Oppa would get tired.

Naturally, I didn’t want that.

“…Can’t I just go a little further?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to refuse. Rest. And don’t even think about working elsewhere.”

“…What?”

Why stop me from working elsewhere, no matter what?

“I’m telling you to rest and relieve your body’s fatigue. That’s all I want.”

“…Okay. Just rest, right?”

But I had no choice but to accept.

Because… he’s kind.

“So, what’s wrong?”

“…My boyfriend works too much.”

“…Oh. Is it over?”

“It’s over.”

With an indifferent expression, she looks back at her laptop and starts typing again.

It’s the most important thing to me.

“No… What… Rest?”

“You ask and then show such indifference right after hearing it. Honestly, that’s too much, you know?”

“Well… It’s so simple that the answer seems obvious, right?”

There’s no empathy at all.

“Has Hyojin ever dated anyone?”

“No~ I’ve never dated anyone, nor have I ever wanted to~”

Hyojin seemed to brush it off as if it didn’t matter at all.

“Ussi….”

“It’s obvious when you look at it. It shows a determination to work hard for his girlfriend.”

I know.

That’s what I dislike.

No matter how busy he is, can’t he finish a little earlier? If it gets too late, he could bring the remaining work home and do it there.

The laptop he carries everywhere isn’t just for show.

He wants to eat together.

“…It’ll be over after today.”

“Well, that’s good. Rest well and let’s meet in… a week or two. I haven’t used the money I gave you for anything else, right? In case of a loan…”

“I don’t have one!”

I quickly cut off the conversation that was veering off. If there were loans or anything, we wouldn’t have had such casual meetings.

In the end, Oppa is burdened with a huge load.

“Alright then. Let’s go out with your boyfriend after a long time.”

“Ha… Just tell me one thing.”

“What is it?”

Even if I think wrong, I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I think…

“Isn’t the relationship between a man and a woman supposed to be… a bit… how should I put it…”

“Not harmonious… something like that?”

“No, it seems to fit well, but strangely goes awry.”

“Going awry?”

“…That seems right.”

What should I say?

Not clear if I should say that I’m going my own way.

I am me, and you are you.

Actually strange.

We should be going together, but it feels like we’re going separately.

If either of us achieves the goal, we succeed together, but it feels more like individual play than teamwork.

“Did you fight?”

“…It wasn’t a fight.”

“You fought.”

Asking, then quickly affirming.

“No, really, it wasn’t.”

Denying one denial after another, then after a moment of contemplation, shaking the head.

“It’s subtle.”

“Yes, it is.”

Lifting the hair slightly, the dried sweat seemed to meet the outside air and evaporate.

“Anyway… Shall we go?”

“Yes, let’s go.”

Can’t figure out the problem. Can’t even grasp it.

Just don’t know.

*

He returned. Although it’s a later return compared to before, considering this month, it’s an early return.

“Welcome back. Today is really the end, right?”

“Yeah, it’s really over.”

At the word “over,” my body relaxed involuntarily. I didn’t want to let go of my brother, whom I embraced tightly.

“I made a lot of food. There’s tonkatsu… with sirloin, cheese too.”

“Yeah, I want to eat quickly.”

Taking the coat, hanging it on the hanger, and heading to the kitchen.

“Why are you looking around like that?”

“The company food… It wasn’t tasty, and there was nothing particularly enjoyable about it.”

He picked up the chopsticks, but his eyes were wandering, unsure where to start.

“This. It was hard to make.”

“Yeah, I’ll try it.”

Eating the handmade side dishes with chopsticks, he tasted each bite.

“Delicious… Mmm… delicious.”

“Eat a lot. Were you hungry?”

“They told me to eat and then leave work… I just ran away.”

“You did well.”

The earlier emotions melted away like snow. Just the way he is.

Unnecessarily kind, somewhat foolish, but still a reliable person.

“Stay with me. Don’t ruin your health working every day and leaving me alone.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll take care of myself.”

Watching him happily eat two pieces of tonkatsu in one bite, he felt content.

“It’s nice that you enjoy the food.”

Finally feeling restored. Since he promised to have dinner, I showcased my skills.

As they say, bending over backward, with plenty of time, all I could do was make something good for the body and tasty.

Whether it’s the power of love or something else, I’m not sure, but I gave it my all.