episode_0076
by fnovelpia
The student council’s hideout, located in a corner of the academy.
A modest building compared to the name of the Imperial Academy Student Council.
I gradually became accustomed to the small two-story house-like building.
The space called the Student Council Room, a space filled with long desks and chairs, is on the second floor. Looking out the window from here, you see trees rather than the grandiose academy buildings.
It almost felt like a cozy hideaway nestled in the forest.
In the middle of spring, passing through the bright green birch trees, the heart of the continent, the Imperial Academy, unfolds. Conversely, in a corner of the Academy, where precious and valuable materials are collected and piled up, there is a forest filled with nature.
Symbols of civilization created by human technology and magical wonders, and nature given in its raw form.
The incongruous scenery is surprisingly appealing. When I look at it, my mind becomes at ease. I can briefly forget the uncomfortable burdens of the monsters and dangers that must surely be lurking somewhere on the continent, the religious order that is after me, and the situation of the royal family that is hated by everyone.
But at the same time, I also feel a sense of longing.
As if I knew that when the lonely autumn comes, the trees in that forest will also lose their color and turn brown. As the sunset fades, the energy under the passionate sun disappears. My peaceful heart is soon dyed with melancholy.
Nothing lasts forever.
The time I spent at the Dahlia Mansion, the time I came to understand the existence of ‘me’ while looking at Theo, the time I realized my true self and arrived at the Academy, the time my mind became confused when I faced you… Until now, when I am contemplating what kind of being I am changing into.
It’s all a fleeting moment.
When I get lost in sentimentality, the conclusion is always the same. Just like looking at a fleeting light, my life, which will bloom and fade, will also come to an end. That conclusion frees me and at the same time makes me lonely.
What will be the end of Beatrice de Dahlia?
A forgotten name, a fight to reclaim the legacy he deserved, a life of burning everything to avenge his younger brother.
I may be included in the burning, but that doesn’t matter. Yes, I don’t care. After burning and burning, I can finally get my revenge – in the name of Tricky Green – and end it.
That’s it.
In this world of illusions, my life will end like that. I will ask the writer without any regrets and leave this place. I will leave this damned novel world and go to my home.
To Seoul, my ‘real’ home. To find Younghee who is waiting for me… .
Whenever I think of this obvious and simple plan, my thoughts with a clear beginning and end, I feel lonely. The burden of the painful life that comes from fulfilling the mission I have set for myself is really strong. I just turn away from it.
In this world full of green trees and clear sunlight, there are so many times when I want to forget the happiness I feel every time I breathe in the clean air. I want to throw away the things I have to do and the ending that is coming.
How about just graduating from the academy normally?
A life of returning to the peaceful kingdom of Primira and cultivating the land. It depicts a life spent as a countess, strolling through the garden of the mansion. The human mind is cunning, and if given even a little time to think, useless thoughts will come to mind.
Imagine being Countess Dahlia and occasionally appearing in high society, perhaps even receiving marriage proposals.
Although I am trapped in a body called Beatrice, my soul remains the same, so I feel a sense of rejection… But when that time comes, won’t I be able to adapt to this body and dream of starting a family?
If you propose, I might accept. If it’s you, it might be really okay. Carl, I don’t think it would be bad to live here with you.
The two of us who somehow ended up being possessed by this novel, and who eventually came to realize that the only people we could truly rely on were each other, who were in the same situation… I wonder if it’s not fate that we have no choice but to be together.
Yeah, it was weird from the start.
Something that doesn’t change even when adapting to a woman’s body. That’s rejection.
The cry of my soul that I couldn’t accept even if my gender was reversed. That’s why I didn’t like the way all the men here looked at me. It was to the point where I wanted to throw them away…
But it’s really strange. Why were you an exception?
At first, I thought it was just a sense of kinship that I could feel as a fellow icebreaker, but now I don’t think that’s true. This is different. It’s not just that level. It’s much more heterogeneous and like an irresistible impulse.
What is it? What is making me like this?
… .
But such a good fortune is a luxury. I am not permitted to desire to spend the rest of my life here in peace.
I don’t deserve that.
The right to enjoy ordinary happiness has already been taken away. From the moment I failed to protect Theo. From that night when I had to say eternal farewell to my fragile family due to my weakness… .
Thinking about that child in pain makes me sick.
How dare you surpass ordinary happiness? You should know your place.
You shouldn’t be like that.
No, I can’t do that.
I have to atone.
*
“Beatrice!”
“?”
I hear a voice waking me up from my thoughts. It must have been quite some time since I last looked out the window.
“How many times do I have to call you to answer? Pretty junior, you can’t do anything if you keep making such a gloomy expression.”
“Are you depressed?”
Vice President Scarlett puts her hand on her waist and speaks in a scolding tone. Her red hair is blowing in the wind from the open window. Every time I see her, I feel that she is a truly alluring woman.
“You’ve been staring out the window for a while. What’s going on?”
“… No, nothing happened.”
“Confide in your worries to this pretty junior. I’ll listen to everything.”
“……”
I guarantee you that if you tell her about any of your worries, everyone in the Academy will know about it in less than a day. So you can’t tell her. Of course, you don’t have any worries, and right now.
“Stop chit-chat and help me quickly.”
“This is too much. I was the one wrapping it up, but it was the pretty junior who was slacking off.”
“Beatrice, stop looking out the window and come help me.”
David spoke nonchalantly and moved his hands busily. He spoke to us without even looking away.
Thud thud-
If you tell me to do it, I have to do it. There’s no particular reason to refuse. It may be annoying, but since I’m in the student council, I have to do what I have to do.
Swish-
A task that every student here is obsessed with. The task of wrapping the veils and blindfolds that fill the desks.
I also sat down and carefully picked up one of the veils.
It was a veil that a pure virgin would wear. Or it looked like something a nun of a sacred order would wear to cover her face. It was such a luxurious and soft veil.
“Ah~ What is this? Christmas Eve is just around the corner, and you’re only bringing it to me now.”
“That’s right, Vice President. I think everyone is going too far. In the end, it’s up to our student council to sort things out.”
“This is the student council you chose. Hold on!”
Strictly speaking, I didn’t choose it. Most of the students here just received an offer to join. Accepting it was a choice, but there aren’t many people who can refuse an offer directly made by the sharp bespectacled man and the sad Scarlett. It’s safe to say that there aren’t any.
Because the Imperial Academy Student Council carries a considerable amount of weight.
If we were to list the outstanding figures who have come out of this place, it would be endless. The famous Duke of Maynor and Louis of the Information Bureau are also from the student council. The same goes for the unappetizing King Charles II of Primira… .
A student council with a proud history and tradition, and the opportunity to learn from the excellent student council president, David. Just these two things alone are enough to draw a line of students wanting to join the student council.
Among them, the very few students who receive the offer of membership are gathered here. The moment they receive the offer, everyone’s eyes are on them, and no one can disappoint those eyes and the expectations of the president and vice president.
So, it is a choice, but it is an ambiguous situation that is not a choice. That is how the current student council was created.
“Hehehe, look at this! Doesn’t it suit you well?”
“Do not play with props for rituals.”
“I’m going to participate in that ceremony anyway, so I’m going to watch it in advance. Do you know? David, I might be the one who approaches you.”
“……”
Scarlett said, covering her face with the veil she had been wrapping. David, as usual, tried to stop her, but was unable to continue speaking due to her shameless answer.
Swish-
As I looked at the two, I brought a blindfold made of soft silk toward David. He flinched and stared at me. But soon his gaze was blocked by the blindfold I had placed on him.
“Hmm, it suits you well.”
“Right! Pretty junior, stay where you are. Let’s see if David notices me.”
I imagined Carl with a blindfold on. David was just a mannequin to add realism to my imagination. As it happened, there was a suitable male figure right in front of me.
I was amazed when I saw the sword that would be used as a blindfold. It would really suit him well.
“You fools, I know it all just by hearing your voice. It’s different from when you use it in your consciousness.”
“I know~ But I’m just feeling it.”
Scarlett smiled bashfully at David’s sigh.
“……”
I still had the blindfold over David. I imagined Carl Maynor behind the black blindfold. I wondered if he would recognize me with the blindfold on. It was half curiosity, half excitement. I hoped he would recognize me.
The flower of the Christmas Eve.
The moment that men and women who dream of love eagerly await is none other than ‘Veiled Love’. It was also the continent’s greatest festival that decorated a romantic night.
Let me explain it like this.
Even in the deep night, in the pitch darkness where even the eyes of God seem to be hidden, people are always concerned about the eyes of God that exist somewhere. Because they dare not commit the blasphemous act of whispering love under the gaze of the sacred God. Or because of the shameful thought of being watched…
Cover your eyes. Throw away the earthly medium called the eyes, the empty signals given by the body. The consciousness of feeling true love that transcends the external appearance of the world. The process of finding your soul mate.
The couples who are married in this way dance under the moonlight. They sit down in pairs in a wide open space and dance around a huge bonfire lit in the center, bringing the curtain down on the Christmas Eve festival.
I took the blindfold off David and covered my eyes. As the black blindfold covered my vision, it became completely dark. I could hear the people who were looking at me exclaiming in surprise.
“Be, Beatrice, why are you using that?”
“… Just. I was curious.”
Answers a question from a fellow first-year student. In a dry manner.
It’s surprising. It’s the man who wears the blindfold. In the veiled love ritual, the man wears the blindfold. It’s a test to see if he can recognize his destined love in the dark.
A great ritual to distinguish one’s destined partner through a veil.
“I think I can figure it out.”
“Oh, pretty junior, during the ritual, your voice changes magically and your sense of smell is blocked. But how?”
“Obviously… I can clearly see it.”
Yes, I can see you. You are the one who comes through this darkness, shining in gold… .
Even if I can’t see you, even if I can’t smell you… Carl, I can definitely tell you apart.
“It’s practically random?”
“……”
But it is the man who wears the blindfold, not me. Will Karl be able to recognize me with the blindfold on? Will he be able to find me in the crowd of women who will approach him wearing veils?
I felt uncomfortable thinking that it wouldn’t be easy. It was very bitter to try to conclude that it was inevitable.
And yet I dream.
I hope you find me.
So that I may finally take off my blindfold and face my face beyond the veil. May you alone be able to see my pretty face, which can only be seen from up close because of the white veil.
I hope that the two of us can decorate this sacred and beautiful night.
I wish we could dance together on that quiet night… .
I pray earnestly.
Oh, God, have pity on this terribly selfish woman.
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